David Hare Plays 2

by David Hare

  Irwin Good Lord. You make it sound sad.

  There is a moment’s silence. Rhonda looks away.

  Have you been back?

  Rhonda Where?

  Irwin No, I mean, with the politician?

  Rhonda Oh, you’re joking. He calls. He calls all the time.

  Irwin Do you answer?

  Rhonda One day I’m going to give him a shock. I’ll get Marion to take it. And that’ll be the end. (She smiles.) I already told her about him.

  Irwin You told Marion?

  Rhonda Certainly. We laughed ourselves silly.

  Irwin Goodness. Marion?

  Rhonda Yes. She loves gossip. Perhaps because her own life’s so dull. I think that’s why she employed me. She likes the idea … (But she stops in mid-sentence.)

  Irwin What?

  Rhonda No.

  Irwin What are you saying?

  Rhonda She likes the idea that I cause chaos.

  There’s a pause.

  Irwin And do you?

  Rhonda Not always. Sometimes I do. (She looks at him.) Tell me yours.

  Irwin What?

  Rhonda Don’t you have a story?

  Irwin Oh. Not really.

  Rhonda You said you did.

  Irwin Not at the moment. But somehow I feel I’m just about to.

  Rhonda Oh, really? Why?

  They look at each other now.

  Irwin You used a dirty word. It excited me.

  Rhonda What word?

  Irwin Chaos.

  There’s a silence. Then Rhonda smiles.

  Rhonda Yes, I’ve noticed. It has an effect.

  The door opens at the back. Isobel stands in the doorway. She is harassed, tired, carrying a soft overnight bag and a big design portfolio. Seeing Rhonda and Irwin, she stands in the doorway, not moving.

  Irwin Isobel. My goodness.

  Rhonda Good evening.

  Rhonda quickly gets up from the floor, guiltily. Isobel puts the bags down and closes the door.

  Irwin What happened to Glasgow?

  Isobel It was called off. (She has moved into the room now and dumps the portfolio on his desk.) Here, take this. It’s yours. I won’t be needing it. It’s the industrial logo.

  Irwin What happened?

  Isobel I missed the last plane.

  Irwin But you set off hours ago.

  Both Rhonda and Irwin are standing, not moving, while Isobel keeps up a chain of action, collecting a pile of written messages from a pigeonhole, going to her own desk, sitting down to read them.

  Isobel Have you dealt with these messages?

  Irwin Rhonda came round. To see our new premises.

  Isobel Ah.

  Rhonda I think they’re great. Irwin said you even had an en-suite executive bathroom. We were talking on the phone …

  Irwin Yes …

  Rhonda I mentioned my water was off. He said you had a new shower. I couldn’t resist it.

  Isobel Was it good?

  Rhonda Oh. I haven’t had it yet.

  She walks across the room to the bathroom. Isobel now carries on working, opening her diary, ticking off items on lists.

  I’m just about to.

  Isobel (to Irwin) Did you do the layout for the publisher’s ad?

  Irwin It’s here.

  Rhonda I can’t wait. I hear there’s a bidet.

  Isobel There’s no bidet. There’s everything else. But if that’s what you need you can always do handstands in the shower.

  Rhonda stands a moment in the doorway, taking in this remark.

  Rhonda (quietly) I’ll be back in a mo.

  Rhonda goes out Irwin is already holding the ad in his hand, and now very quietly he walks over to Isobel’s desk and slips it in front of her, then stands waiting, like an expensive butler.

  Isobel It’s good.

  Irwin Thank you. (He waits a moment,) I sometimes wonder … I don’t know … whether you still care about my drawing.

  Isobel I’ve said I like it.

  Irwin It hurts me. You don’t always seem as if it means what it did. I draw for you. That’s why I draw. To please you. To earn your good opinion. Which to me means everything.

  Isobel Well, you have it. So you’re all right.

  She is steady and quiet, still working. Irwin moves away.

  Irwin I’ve just been talking to Rhonda.

  Isobel Uh-huh.

  Irwin I rather underestimated her. She’s actually a quite interesting girl.

  Isobel Yes, I’m sure.

  Irwin She has a first-class degree in economics.

  Isobel has no answer to this. Irwin shifts feet.

  I mean I’m sure you probably think she’s shallow …

  Isobel No. Actually, I don’t. I don’t think anything. Why is everyone always so eager to tell me what I think?

  Irwin Isobel …

  Isobel I don’t have an opinion. I have no opinion on the subject of Rhonda. I am absolutely neutral.

  Irwin No, I just felt … from the way you greeted her …

  Isobel turns suddenly, quite savage.

  Isobel What?

  Irwin shrugs.

  Irwin Well, I think she seemed a bit put out.

  Isobel You felt that? And you also felt that this was my fault?

  She is looking at him now, her anger low and dangerous.

  Irwin Isobel, you know I’ve been meaning to talk to you. You’ve not been looking too well.

  Isobel No, that’s true. I look like hell.

  Irwin I’m worried for you.

  Isobel Oh, really?

  Irwin is quiet.

  Irwin Why do you turn all my concern away?

  Isobel carries on working, trying not to let any feeling she has show.

  Look, you know I can tell when you’re really angry …

  Isobel Oh, I see. Now I’m being told that I’m angry.

  Irwin Well, you are.

  Isobel No, I’m not. I’m actually stopping myself. On the grounds that it would be counter-productive. I can see it’s what you want. That I should get angry. But I am refusing to. And because today has been unspeakable, I am now going to go home. (She has got up and gone to another desk where she collects a diary, and some cosmetics.)

  Irwin What are you getting? Those are Katherine’s things. What’s happened?

  Isobel turns and looks at him.

  Isobel Do you really want to know? Why not just …

  Irwin Yes?

  Isobel Continue whatever it is you were doing.

  Irwin I was working.

  Isobel Good. Then continue working.

  Rhonda calls from the shower, loudly.

  Rhonda (off) Is there any soap?

  Isobel Do your work with the soap, Irwin. And I shall go home.

  Irwin Isobel. Where’s Katherine?

  Isobel, who is once more about to leave, is suddenly stopped now.

  Why don’t you tell me? I don’t get it. What’s going on?

  Isobel turns reluctantly and looks at him a moment.

  Isobel She’s in a clinic. That’s where I’ve been. They called me at Heathrow and I came back into town. I had to get her admitted.

  Irwin What happened?

  Isobel A whole lot of stuff. Some joker gave her a drink. (She nods.) She’d taken out those clients …

  Irwin Is that the video company?

  Isobel Yes. It was stupid. I should have gone with her. They were unbelievably important. Over dinner they said they’d decided against our submission. So Katherine picked up a steak knife and plunged it straight for the managing director’s heart.

  Irwin My God!

  Isobel It’s fine. It’s not a problem. He’s an ad-man. His heart presents a very small target. He’s got a few cut ribs. And Katherine was already too drunk to take aim.

  Irwin looks down.

  Irwin Oh shit, I’m sorry.

  Isobel You don’t have to be sorry. It’s not your fault. How often did you tell me? It was my decision. I employed her.

 
Irwin So what will you do?

  Isobel What can I do? We actually needed these people. They were good business. We’re grossly over-extended. Look at this place! (She gestures round the room.) Instead … tonight we have a lawsuit. No, Katherine has a lawsuit. Mercifully she’s under sedation. She’ll wake up in the morning. And then I will face all her problems again. (She smiles and turns to go, picking up her bag.) Will you lock up after you?

  Irwin Isobel!

  Isobel What?

  Irwin You can’t just leave now.

  Isobel Why not?

  Irwin I want to help. I’d like to help you.

  She smiles at him generously, then goes over and touches his arm.

  Isobel I’m grateful for that. Honestly. But if you really want to help, best thing is to let me sleep.

  He looks down, miserable.

  Irwin I’ve got to talk.

  Isobel Why?

  Irwin I need it.

  Isobel What, you all night and Katherine in the morning? (The remark slips out. She at once looks down, contrite, apologetic, quiet.) Please let me go, I’ve got problems enough.

  Irwin That isn’t fair.

  Isobel No, it isn’t. I only say it because I’m tired. That’s why I want to go. Please? Is that unreasonable? I want to go because I’ve no fairness left.

  But Irwin is still looking at her pleadingly.

  Irwin Isobel, you’ve started avoiding me. You tolerate me, yes. But every time I look at you now, you look the other way.

  Isobel I’m sorry. Yes.

  Irwin Why do you do that?

  Isobel I don’t know. (She smiles.) I suppose a mistaken idea of kindness.

  Irwin It isn’t kind to avoid me.

  Isobel No.

  Irwin Perhaps it’s more like cowardice.

  Isobel Yes. (She looks at him almost absently, smiling again.) Shall we leave it at that?

  Irwin No. I won’t leave it at that.

  Isobel Look, all right … (She is suddenly vehement as if finally accepting that she cannot avoid this argument.) I don’t understand. What do you want from me? Like for instance tonight. I come in. What’s in the air? A smell of cheap sex …

  Irwin No!

  Isobel And I think, oh yes, I see, I know what this is for. This is to make me into the one who’s responsible. There is no purpose to this except to make me feel awful. Because I’m the girl who can’t be giving this man all the love he needs.

  Irwin I never said that.

  Isobel You didn’t need to. All I had to do was walk in the door and I was handed a role. My role is: the woman betrayed. Well, Irwin, I don’t want to play it. I’ve no interest in playing it. Because it’s humiliating. All I get to do is make catty remarks.

  Irwin protests, outraged.

  Irwin You’re way off, we were just talking …

  Isobel The next thing, you mention I’m looking terrible. Do you know how shabby that particular remark always is? You destroy a woman’s confidence, then you say, I’m so worried about you, darling, you just don’t seem to be yourself. Well, no. I’m not myself. I’m being turned into a person whose only function is to suffer. And believe me, it bores me just as much as it bores you.

  Irwin is shaking his head.

  Irwin I can’t believe this. How long have you been thinking this?

  Isobel Please don’t be innocent. We’ve both been aware of it. You as much as me. We should have parted some months ago. We should have parted … (She stops.)

  Irwin When?

  Isobel You know when.

  He suddenly points at her.

  Irwin It still annoys you, doesn’t it? That I talked to Marion and agreed to the restructuring.

  Isobel No. It doesn’t annoy me. It’s just … (She stops again.)

  Irwin What? Go on, please. You must say.

  Isobel Oh God, I can’t explain. Don’t you understand? It’s why I never talk to you. It’s why I never look at you. I can’t find a way of describing what’s happened, without seeming to be disgustingly cruel. (She looks at him, suddenly assertive.) There we are, you see, now I look at you, you’re flinching already …

  Irwin Isobel …

  Isobel And I’m standing here thinking, this is just stupid, I’m no longer in love with you. Why don’t I just give you the push?

  Irwin Is that what you want?

  Isobel Why don’t I just tell you to leave? As any sensible girl would. Why? Because, actually, there’s a good part of me which is very fond of you. And wants to work with you. And hold on to what is best in you. (She is suddenly gentle again, looking at him with affection.) So the fact is, I find it very hard.

  Irwin looks down, moved.

  Irwin I love you.

  Isobel I know. I know you love me. God knows, you say it often enough. (She stops him before he can protest.) I don’t say that to be cruel. But I never hear the words without sensing something being asked of me. The words drain me. From your lips they’ve become a kind of blackmail. They mean, I love you and so … So I am entitled to be endlessly comforted and supported and cheered … (She smiles.) Oh, yes, and I’ve been happy to do it. I comforted. I supported. I cheered. Because I got something back. But it’s gone. (She shrugs slightly.) We both knew it. Yet you want some period in which we both flounder together. Hang on tight while we get sad. But I don’t want to be sad. No one can remember now, but the big joke is, by temperament I’m actually an extremely cheerful girl. That’s what’s so silly. I’m strong. You sap my strength. Because you make me feel guilty. I can never love you as much as you need. Now I see that. So I’ve done a great deal of suffering. But that’s over. I’m ready to move on.

  Irwin is looking at her disbelievingly.

  Irwin I don’t believe you.

  Isobel You do. You do actually.

  Irwin It’s all because I failed some stupid sort of test …

  Isobel No.

  Irwin I wasn’t loyal. I talked to your sister.

  Isobel That’s nothing to do with it.

  Irwin Yes, it is. That was my crime.

  Isobel tries to interrupt.

  Isobel No, you’re wrong. It’s not that. It’s just … I had an idea of you.

  Irwin I know that idea. You saw me as poor and under your spell. As soon as I looked round and said, ‘Hold on, this is ridiculous, please may I now have a living wage?’ then … then of course you didn’t like it. Because I was no longer in thrall. To the lady of the manor. I’m not under your patronage.

  Isobel Good. (She smiles.) Then you have what you want.

  Irwin No. (He is quiet.) I want you.

  Isobel Why, for God’s sake, if I’m what you say I am, if I’m – what? – patronizing …

  Irwin No …

  Isobel If I’m – what then? – possessive of you, if I’m this terrible influence, then plainly you’re better off free of me.

  Irwin No. That’s not right. (He looks her straight in the eye, suddenly calm and strong, as if knowing he has a strong hand to play.) I’m still in love with you. I always will be. There’s nothing I can do. It’s just … (He pauses.) It’s time you faced up to some truths.

  Isobel is quiet, mistrustful, as if fearing what will be said.

  Isobel What truths?

  Irwin It’s hurt me to watch you. Lately. You know very well. You must change.

  Isobel How?

  Irwin You must grow up. You have this crazy idea of integrity.

  Isobel Crazy?

  Irwin Yes. You have this idea because your father was a failure, because he sat in Gloucestershire, losing money hand over fist, but universally pleasant and kind, you think anyone who lives differently has to be some sort of traitor. You think I betrayed you. Well, don’t you? (He waits a moment.) Not everyone can be your father, you know.

  Isobel is already shaking her head.

  Isobel That’s really naive. You’re nowhere near it.

  Irwin Aren’t I?

  Isobel Of course not.

  Irwin Then why, tell me why you
will sacrifice your whole life for Katherine?

  Isobel Don’t be ridiculous. That’s not what I’m doing.

  Irwin Isn’t it?

  Isobel No! (She moves away, uneasy.) ‘Sacrifice’! Irwin, really, what a word.

  But he presses his point home, insistent.

  Irwin Like tonight. The knife business. Did you notice? She reserves it for the big contracts. She doesn’t flash a knife for the little guys, you know. She has priorities. She waits for the really major customer. With a great deal of money. Which we desperately need. Then … then she gives us a glimpse of her act.

  Isobel turns to him, panicking slightly.

  Isobel What are you saying?

  Irwin I’m saying, look, like right now, her head is on a nice white pillow in a hospital – where?

  Isobel North London.

  Irwin All right. Now if at this moment we did a brainscan, tell me, what do you think we would see?

  Isobel I don’t know.

  Irwin What?

  Isobel shifts again, unhappy.

  Isobel Vapours. Alcohol. Confusion. Loss. I don’t know. (Suddenly she shouts.) I don’t know.

  Irwin Yes, you do.

  There’s a silence.

  Isobel, she’s dreaming of ways to destroy you.

  Isobel No.

  Irwin Yes.

  Isobel Don’t be absurd. You mustn’t say that.

  Irwin Why not? Just tell me. What state was your father in when he died? He’d had the life beaten out of him.

  Isobel No.

  Irwin I know, you think she’s just unhappy. She’s maladjusted. She hates herself. Well, she does. And she is. All these things are true. But also it’s true, Isobel, my dear, you must learn something else. That everyone knows except you. It’s time you were told. There’s such a thing as evil. You’re dealing with evil.

  Isobel turns round, about to speak.

  That’s right. And if you don’t admit it, then you can’t fight it. And if you don’t fight it, you’re going to lose.

  There’s a moment’s silence. Then Rhonda comes through from the bathroom. She is now fully clothed in a smart skirt and pullover, her hair still wet from the shower. She is cheerful.

  Rhonda That was great. This place is a major achievement.

  Irwin Ah, good.

  Rhonda I don’t know how anyone ever has baths.

  Irwin No.

  Rhonda Baths are disgusting. Sitting in your own dirty water. Just lying there while the water gets muckier around you. It must be unhealthy. I think everyone should shower, don’t you?