You And Me And The Moon

by Pepper Espinoza

  * * *

  * * *

  YOU AND ME AND THE MOON

  by

  PEPPER ESPINOZA

  Amber Quill Press, LLC

  http://www.amberquill.com

  * * *

  * * *

  You And Me And The Moon

  An Amber Quill Press Book

  This book is a work of fiction. All names, characters, locations, and incidents are products of the author's imagination, or have been used fictitiously.

  Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, locales, or events is entirely coincidental.

  Amber Quill Press, LLC

  http://www.AmberQuill.com

  http://www.AmberHeat.com

  http://www.AmberAllure.com

  All rights reserved.

  No portion of this book may be transmitted or reproduced in any form, or by any means, without permission in writing from the publisher, with the exception of brief excerpts used for the purposes of review.

  Copyright © 2010 by Pepper Espinoza

  ISBN 978-1-60272-683-3

  Cover Art © 2010 Trace Edward Zaber

  Layout and Formatting

  Provided by: Elemental Alchemy

  Published in the United States of America

  Also by Pepper Espinoza

  ...And To Hold

  A Busted Afternoon

  The Devil Went Down To Georgia

  Elected

  A Farewell To Angels

  Forward Progress

  Four O'Clock

  Fumble Recovery

  (Just Like) Starting Over

  The Major And The Minor

  Making Waves

  Maybe I'm Amazed

  My Only Home

  The Obsolete Man

  Peanut Butter Kisses

  The Prince Who Never Smiled

  Quarterback Sneak

  The Streets Of Florence

  Surrender's Edge

  To Bend

  Chapter 1

  * * *

  "They're expecting us by six," Noah said without taking his attention from the road. "Apparently, the woman who runs the bed-and-breakfast always goes to bed by eight so she can get up early enough to fix breakfast. Actually, that's why I picked this place, even though the kitchen isn't open for dinner. I figured you'd appreciate somebody making waffles for you for a change...and will you cut it out?"

  Luke looked up. "Cut what out? I'm not doing anything."

  "You've been checking your phone every five minutes. Literally, every five minutes. It's annoying," Noah said.

  "I'm still listening to you."

  "What did I just say?"

  "That you picked this bed-and-breakfast for the waffles."

  Noah sighed. "Not quite, but close enough. You know, you've got your volume turned all the way up. If she calls, you'll hear it."

  "I'm scared I'm going to miss her because you keep talking."

  Noah's lips thinned. He knew it would be difficult for Luke to leave Lily for the weekend to go on a much needed, and much deserved, vacation. He reminded himself to be patient. They had never spent a whole weekend apart, and Luke was very protective of his daughter. Her first day of kindergarten had been a nightmare for both of them. But she was five and a half years old. She could handle two nights and three days without her father. Especially since she hadn't seen Marty since her birthday.

  "Marty said they'd call you when she went to bed. Her bedtime isn't for another two hours."

  "What if we don't get reception? You said we're going into the mountains. The phone could be dead."

  "Then you call her from the room and give her the number to the landline." Noah looked at him from the corner of his eye. "You know, people did survive without cell phones for several decades."

  "Were you saying you wanted to go to dinner after we checked in?"

  "Yeah, I was going to. There's a really nice restaurant with amazing food."

  "Do you have reservations?"

  "No, they're not necessary."

  "Maybe we should go over there at eight-thirty then."

  Noah sighed softly. He was starving and he had been looking forward all week to sitting down to a nice, romantic meal with Luke. Just the two of them. Sharing food and stories and jokes. Maybe even dirty jokes. Flirting with each other like they were a couple of kids on a date. He had never played footsie under the table with anybody. He would have liked to try that. He loved Lily completely--maybe even as much as Luke did. But he still wanted--needed--adult time. But this weekend had been four months in the making. What was another two hours if it gave Luke some peace of mind?

  "That's fine. You know, it's not like this is the first time Marty has watched her."

  "It's the first time she's watched her in California."

  Noah let that statement sink in, trying to guess Luke's meaning. Finally he was forced to ask, "So?"

  "She might not know where everything is."

  "You showed her where everything is. Plus, you left a list of numbers on the fridge that has every doctor's office in the area, not to mention poison control. And all of Lily's favorite places to eat. Marty is a smart woman, Luke. She can handle this."

  Luke didn't respond, and Noah didn't know if he should take his silence as agreement or annoyance. Noah was more than a little annoyed himself. His neck and cheeks were flushed, and a part of him already regretted suggesting they take a weekend together. Planning a family getaway instead wouldn't have allowed for any time alone together, but at least Luke wouldn't have been so anxious. Noah knew he was right about everything, but that didn't make the situation any better. It wasn't as though he could just say, "Chill the fuck out already, will ya?"

  When planning the trip, Noah's instinct led him east, to the mountains, instead of west to the ocean. He thought Luke would appreciate the thin, fresh air, the smell of pine trees and soft dirt, and the cooler temperatures. It would be a nice reminder of home, of the old days, without all the hassle of traveling to Utah, or the possibility of running into bad memories. Luke had agreed to the bed-and-breakfast in Idyllwild easily enough, but his anxiety about leaving his daughter behind set in almost immediately. Maybe he should have called it off as soon as he noticed Luke was worried. But he needed a vacation. They both needed a vacation. Not because they needed a break from the daily grind, though that was a definite plus, but because they had been growing apart between the stress of working and raising a child.

  Noah's attention drifted from the road to the man sitting beside him. Physically, Luke hadn't changed much in the two years since his move to California. But Noah knew he wasn't the most objective judge of Luke's appearance. For one thing, he still saw the young man he once knew. The one he had fallen in love with when he was only sixteen. For another thing, he would always be the most gorgeous person Noah ever saw, regardless of how time marked his face. He was staring at his dark phone, his thumb absently running over the keypad. Somehow, the fact that he wasn't even checking his mail or playing one of the phone's games was more annoying than the fact he wouldn't put the damned thing back in his pocket.

  It was hard not to take it personally. A small voice in the back of his mind gave a more concrete form to all of his fears, niggling him with questions he didn't have an answer to. What if Luke was getting tired of him? What if Luke missed Utah? What if he missed his restaurant? What if picking Marty up at the airport reminded Luke of everything he'd left behind when he moved to California with Noah? What if he was lonely because Noah worked so many hours? What if he was so distracted because he was trying to figure out a way to break it to Noah gently?

  Another voice answered those questions with a simple stop being such a jackass. He was an insecure mess most of the time. Mos
tly because he knew he needed Luke far more than Luke needed him. If they parted ways, Luke would go on with his life. Noah would have nobody to turn to and nothing to fill the sudden vacuum in his life. What was there beside Luke and Lily?

  "How many more miles?" Noah asked, because he was tired of the silence and his own thoughts.

  Luke checked the GPS mounted on the dashboard. "We're just out of Hemet, so about twenty."

  "Not bad."

  "No, we'll be there before you know it."

  So they could sit in their room for two hours. Noah had elected to leave his laptop at home, committed to giving all his attention to Luke. The rooms didn't have televisions or radios. They were tastefully decorated, comfortable rooms, with fireplaces and big, beautiful beds. Designed with romance in mind, there was with nothing to distract the guests from each other. Noah supposed he could take a walk while Luke sat by the phone. Wouldn't that be nice? A lovely walk around the lovely mountain village. All by himself.

  "So...Marty is taking Lily to Disneyland tomorrow?"

  "Yeah. Marty's never been, so she thought this was the perfect chance to change that."

  "Yes, especially since Lily would live at Disneyland if she could."

  "Then on Sunday they're going to Santa Monica."

  "Marty will love that. We might not be able to convince her to go back to Utah."

  Luke chuckled and checked his phone.

  Noah swallowed down another lump of irritation. "What do you think is going to happen anyway? You're not like this when she's in school."

  "But I'm only a few miles from her school. If something happened to her, we're over one hundred miles away."

  "But nothing is going to happen," Noah said again, for perhaps the fiftieth time.

  "I know but...something could."

  "Do you want me to turn around?"

  "No."

  "Are you sure? Because I don't think either of us will enjoy this weekend if you're going to be distracted and nervous the whole time."

  "I'm not distracted and nervous. I'm fine. See?" He slid the phone back into his shirt pocket. "So you've been to Idyllwild before?"

  "Yeah, a few times."

  "With one of your boyfriends?"

  "I drove through Idyllwild with somebody I was dating once. I never stayed there with anybody."

  "That's good. I might have been jealous if I knew you were taking me to your old boyfriend's favorite B&B or something."

  Noah snorted. "Yeah, right."

  "What?"

  "Nothing. I just meant...you're not really the jealous type, are you?"

  "I could be. But you're not really the type to make a guy jealous."

  Noah didn't know what to make of that. He suspected Luke meant that Noah was far too attached to Luke to even allow a second of questioning. Just another little reminder that he was the person with the most to lose in the relationship. Luke was resilient. The most resilient person Noah had ever met. He had survived Noah leaving once before. He had survived a tumultuous relationship with an alcoholic. He had survived the most horrible rumors a small Utah town could produce. He had raised a little girl all by himself while opening and running a successful restaurant. If things fell apart between them, he still had his family, his restaurant, and his home in Utah. He'd land on his feet.

  Noah wasn't so optimistic about his own chances. He wasn't optimistic at all.

  He hated that he was even having these thoughts. His insecurities were always close to the surface, always ready to sabotage any relationship he was in. They made him jealous and possessive. Worse, they made him want to run away, until he was out of the reach of fear and pain. The first year after Luke had moved to California to be with him had been amazing. Noah woke up every morning with a smile and ended every night wrapped up in the arms of his best friend and the only man he'd ever really loved. But things began to shift and evolve as they always do in relationships. Or, at least, that's what Noah assumed happened. He never stuck around with any one person long enough to find out.

  Once, he worked up the courage to ask Luke if he was homesick. If he missed the family, the friends, the life he'd had in Utah. Luke had laughed off the question and told Noah not to worry about things like that, but he hadn't actually said no.

  Noah decided not to mention the cell phone again. If it made Luke feel better to check it every five minutes, what difference did it make to him? And if sitting by the room phone for two hours made him feel more comfortable about leaving his daughter, then how could Noah protest it? He had known when he confessed his feelings to Luke that he would never actually be the first priority in Luke's life. And that was purely a result of his own decisions, his own mistakes, so it was nothing he should worry about now. Being second in Luke's life was better than not being in Luke's life at all. If he ever needed a reality check, that was it.

  Noah turned up the radio and reminded himself he was lucky to have anything at all.

  Chapter 2

  * * *

  The photos on the website did not do the Strawberry Inn justice. The room was quaint without being precious. A large picture window overlooked the mountain, and the most modern convenience was the whirlpool tub in the bathroom. One that was large enough for both of them to fit comfortably. The mattress was a California king, and the thick handmade quilt beckoned Noah to the bed. Two Dura-Flame logs waited near the fireplace, and the walls were covered in black and white photographs of the mountain and surrounding forest. The phone was on the table next to the window, and beside it sat a guest book and a card inviting them to record their own experiences there.

  "This is really nice, isn't it?" Luke said.

  Noah smiled. "You like it?"

  "I do. It's very...cozy."

  Noah nodded in agreement. Cozy was a good word for it. Romantic might have been another good word for it, but he kept that observation to himself. "What's your reception like?"

  Luke frowned. "About as bad as I expected. I'm just going to call and let Marty know what the number is here."

  "I'm going to shower and get changed," Noah said as cheerfully as he could. He almost invited Luke to join him, but he was already dialing Marty's number. He could have waited for the call to end, but he knew from experience that it would be a long wait. He'd want to know every little detail about Lily's day since he left. He did hope Luke learned to back off before the girl got too much older. Otherwise, she would resist and rebel as much as she could. She was already too headstrong for her own good.

  Noah showered quickly, scrubbing away the day's sweat and as many of his worries as he could. Determined that they would go out for dinner that night, he dressed in a dark blue silk shirt and a pair of black trousers. His stomach twisted a little while he studied himself in the mirror, and he felt stupid at the evidence of his nerves. This wasn't a first date. He wasn't trying to prove himself worthy. He shouldn't be nervous, he should be excited and full of jittery anticipation.

  When he emerged from the bathroom, Luke was still on the phone. He glanced up as Noah opened the door, but then his attention went back to the pad where he was doodling. He always did that when he was on the phone. If he couldn't find a piece of paper, he wasn't above using the wall or any hard surface that he had on hand. It had bugged Noah at first, but now he didn't care if Luke wanted to draw all over his house.

  With nothing better to do, Noah settled on the bed, surprised and pleased by how wonderful the mattress felt beneath him. Their bed at home didn't feel anything like this. Luke's birthday was coming up--maybe he could surprise him. The thought cheered Noah considerably. It was just the sort of thing Luke would like, and they could have all kinds of fun breaking it in.

  There were magazines on the nightstand, and Noah grabbed one without paying attention to the cover. He flipped through it absently; none of the words registering at all. The most he could do was look at the pictures and study the strange ads that didn't actually announce what they were selling. His stomach growled, reminding him that he hadn't h
ad a thing to eat since breakfast that morning. He had spent most of the day running around like a crazy person at work, ensuring that the show wouldn't fall apart while he was gone. He had a good group of people, and things always slowed down over the weekend, so he felt confident in leaving them. Noah hadn't minded skipping lunch since he'd had visions of dinner dancing in his head.

  "Okay, I'll call back when it's time for bed. All right. You, too. Bye."

  "What's going on?" Noah asked mildly.

  "Oh, Lily's been upset tonight."

  "Over what?"

  "Marty told her we were going to the mountains and she immediately announced she wanted to go, too. Marty told her it was just a place for adults, and she didn't like that response at all."

  "What's she been doing?"

  "Everything. She tried throwing a tantrum, and when Marty ignored her, she started to sulk. She's tried coaxing, begging, wheedling, crying, and even laid a guilt trip or two."

  "Sounds like she'll probably be fine."

  "Yeah, but I want to be sure to talk her to before she goes to bed so I can tell her goodnight. I'm sure keeping her routine will be helpful for her."

  "Or maybe it'll make things worse."

  Luke frowned. "What do you mean?"

  "Nothing."

  "No, I want to know."

  "I didn't mean anything. Do you want to get changed for dinner? I'm sure you can call her from the restaurant."

  "No, I thought I would stick around in case Marty needs me. You know how it is when Lily gets like this. She won't talk to anybody but me."

  Noah was fully aware of that fact. Lily had always been extremely attached to Luke, but after they moved from Utah, the attachment intensified. It was as though Lily reacted to the change in her world by clinging even harder to her father. Luke hadn't discouraged that, of course, but Noah didn't believe he should encourage it, either. The little girl who had once been happy to spend the night with her aunt, or let Noah entertain her for hours, now reacted with distress whenever Luke left the room. But what could Noah say about it? Nothing. Lily wasn't his daughter, as much as he loved her, and Luke did most of the parenting.