The scars of you (The scars series Book 1)

by Rachael Tonks

  “Don’t you dare,” I shout loudly. “Don’t you dare compare your shitty ass job to what I’m going through right now. There is no damn comparison.” I glare at him, angry that he is trying to downplay what is happening here.

  “You don’t understand…”

  “You’re damn right I don’t,” I say with a shaky breath.

  “She was the first,” he whispers, his face contorting as he winces. “Helena was his first captive. She has been where you are now.”

  “What? No…”

  “It’s the truth,” he says with a nod.

  “But, I don’t understand. Why is she still here?”

  “I dunno,” he says, lifting and dropping his shoulders. “I guess he outgrew her, but he will never let her go. From what I have heard, she didn’t want to leave, anyway. This life, and him, that’s all she’s ever known.”

  I narrow my eyes as my mind swims with confusion. “Wait, so you’re telling me that she’s here through choice. Is she in love with him or something?” I take in a small, fast, unsteady breath as I feel my face flame. I fan it with my hand, worried that I might begin to hyperventilate.

  “She’s free to leave anytime. I’m not convinced that she will ever want to, though. See, that’s where you are different, that’s where he sees you as a challenge. Getting you to that point. Where you want to be here where you are dependent on him.”

  “This was a huge mistake,” I say standing on my shaky legs. “She will tell him, he will find out.”

  “She won’t, I promise. You need to trust me.” He says, standing with his hands on my upper arms, towering over me.

  “I want to,” I say in a hushed voice. “I want more than anything to believe that your intentions are honorable, but the evil I have endured makes me doubt everything. And everyone.”

  I drop my head, my eyes focusing on the polished wooden floor. His firm forefinger hooks under my chin, forcing my head up. But I don’t look up. I keep my eyes focused down.

  “Look at me, dammit,” he says, a small chuckle escaping him. I feel the pressure from my chest ease and I relax, letting out a controlled breath. My eyes slowly wander upward, meeting his. The piercing blue eyes that stare so intensely causing me to shudder.

  “I’m nothing like him. You can trust me.”

  I roll my lips between my teeth, allowing my gaze to fall once again. “Here,” he says, using his fingers to point toward his eyes. “Look just here,” he repeats, wrapping his arms around me and closing the space between us. I swallow down the lump of nerves stuck in my throat. I don’t breathe or speak. I just stand frozen with the feel of him holding me. I step back on my heel, hoping to put space between us and break his hold on me. As much as I like the feeling of being held, I also can’t help to compare it to the only other time I’ve felt anything like this before.

  “Don’t,” he croaks.

  “I can’t…” I say, trying harder to step back, but not really having the strength to make an impact. My attempts are pathetic at best.

  “Why? Talk to me,” he says, staring down at me.

  “I don’t have anything to say,” I mutter. “Please, just let me go.” I blink down, swallowing thickly as old memories flush to the surface of my mind.

  “What did I say wrong?” He asks, stepping back a little and bending his head until it’s in my line of sight.

  “Being so close to you, feeling something other than fear and anxiety, well, let’s just say it’s an unfamiliar emotion. I’m just not sure how I should react.”

  “Don’t think about it,” he says, taking my hand in his, his thumb caressing the back of my hand. Dread washes over me, unsure how to counter his advances, his sensitive touch. Amongst the pain and chaos, I can’t understand the feelings I’m experiencing with this guy.

  “Please… I just need a friend,” I say with a smile.

  “I can do that,” he says with a wide smile. I realize in this moment just how much this guy is risking just being here with me.

  I just hope that beyond anything else, I can trust him. A friend in this hellhole is something I need right now.

  I’m kissing her and I like it. I like how her lips feel against mine. I like the distraction she gives me at a time when the painful memories are too much to fucking bear.

  My hands rest on her waist, her legs straddling over me as she continues to kiss me, controlling everything about this moment. They’re not frantic, but soft sensual kisses. Her lips are so soft and supple against my own, and with every flick of her tongue, I feel myself unravel, giving into the desire I felt for this chick. Her hands roam across my body, skimming my thick triceps and down over my abs. Soft moans escape her, moans that make my dick hard and my heart speed up with excitement.

  Breaking contact, she leans in, whispering in my ear, “Touch me, Brax.” Pressing her pussy against my hardness, I drop my head back, a groan escaping.

  “Relax,” she continues, her hand reaching up and grabbing a handful of my hair. “I know how you feel right now. Right now, your head is fucked, and you are confused. I’ve felt that way too, Brax, but let me help you. Lose yourself in me.”

  My breathing picks up pace. I can no longer fight my attraction to this beauty straddling my lap. “I want you,” I groan, grabbing her at the back of the neck, bringing her face toward mine. I pause momentarily, the tip of my nose resting against hers. I look deep into her wanting eyes; the look she gives me tells me she really does want this as much as she makes out. I don’t hesitate a second longer and force her lips against mine. I resume the kiss, only deepening it. It’s now frantic, needy and messy. There is nothing soft or sincere in the way I’m kissing this girl. I drop my hands to her waist, spinning her and dropping her down onto the couch. A gasp of surprised excitement escapes her.

  “I’m in control now,” I say, my tone gruff and full of desire. My whole body feels like it’s on fire as I take charge, owning every part of her body. I start to remove her clothes, kissing and licking every part of her, savoring inch after inch of her flawless skin.

  My heart thumps with anticipation and her eyes widen as I trail my hand across her stomach and down between her legs. I dip my head, my lips finding and sucking on one of her hardened nipples. Her eyes close, her head dropping back as moans escape her. She jolts her hips upward, pressing into my hardness. Her hands find my hair, and I press into her, wanting to somehow relieve the pressure from my intense, throbbing cock.

  I slip my forefinger between her folds, working my finger over her engorged clit.

  “Damn, you’re so ready for me,” I moan, pushing a finger inside of her, spreading the wetness as I continue to work and circle her clit.

  “Holy fuck,” she groans, her body working to the rhythm of my movement.

  “Has anyone ever touched you like this?” I ask, my eyes searching for hers. She bites her lip, shaking her head from side to side as she gives me her non-verbal answer. Continuing my assault on her clit, she writhes beneath me and I can barely fucking control myself. Standing up, I push down my jeans, taking my boxers with them. My alert cock springs free. Wrapping my hand around, I work up and down the shaft.

  “You ready for me, baby?” I ask. Her eyes dart to my cock and her tongue dips out, wetting her lips. She nods her head, a glint of excitement in her eyes. I drop down beside her, pulling her onto my lap until she’s straddling me once again. I feel my fucking cock resting at her wet entrance.

  “Lift up,” I instruct with a lift of my brow. I’m ready and I don’t want to wait a minute longer. My animalistic need takes over and I feel like I have lost all self-control. “I need to feel you, Tara. I need that tight pussy of yours to strangle my goddamn cock.” She leans forward; lifting her ass just enough until the tip is lined up to her entrance. The anticipation of finally being inside her is almost too much. Her long, brown hair falls over her beautiful face and as she slowly slides down on my needy cock, I brush her hair out of the way.

  “Let me see your face. I want to see
how beautiful you look when you’re screaming out my name.”

  I push upward, with one aggressive thrust. Instantly, her moans fill the room and she moves her body in time with my thrusts.

  “Deep, so fucking deep,” I groan. The sensation rippling through my body is like someone has lit the dynamite and with each movement and each second that passes, I can feel the pressure build. Working me right toward the ultimate explosion. Dipping my thumb inside my mouth, I slow my rhythm and let her continue to grind on me as I reach for her, pressing the wet pad of my thumb against her clit.

  “Oh, God, yes,” she groans as I work her into a frenzy, her pussy clenching tighter and tighter around my cock. I swirl my thumb over, mixing between light touches and much more intense, faster movements.

  “I’m going to come,” she cries out, but it’s not time. I’m not quite there yet.

  I move my hands, cupping her ass in an attempt to reach my climax with her.

  “Hold on,” I instruct, as I guide her up and down, thrusting in time. Her moans fill the whole house as I work relentlessly toward the edge.

  “Wait for me,” I say, pushing inside her faster and faster. She wraps her arms around my shoulders, her nails digging into my skin as she leans her warm body against mine. Together our breaths are ragged, our heartbeats are rapid, and the haze starts to blur my vision. I clamp my eyes shut as I give one last crazed thrust into her, her pussy tightening around my cock as she too finds her release. I tilt my head back, my mouth opening as a guttural moan escapes as I hold myself tight inside her, working through my release. My warmth spills out and the feeling of satisfaction fills me as my heart pounds at an incredible rate.

  Tara’s body crashes against mine, her head resting against my shoulder; her warm lips kiss my neck intimately.

  “Fuck,” I murmur, my palm resting against her back. I turn my head, hoping to catch a glimpse of the girl who has my heart racing faster than a fucking racing car. But her eyes are shut and I’m worried this was all too much too soon.

  “Tara… what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” she replies quietly, her eyelashes fluttering as she focuses on my face.

  “Good,” I say pulling her into me, encompassing her with my strong arms.

  We sit there in our post-euphoric embrace for what feels like hours. I feel her chin tremble against my neck and reluctantly part from her, lifting her off my knee.

  “You’re cold,” I say, reaching for the blanket on the back of the couch. “Here, have this,” I stand, covering her with the soft cream-colored blanket. “I’m going to get cleaned up.”

  I reach down, pulling my boxers back on and collect the rest of my clothes from the floor.

  “Brax,” she rushes out, catching my attention. I look up at her but her head is down as though she suddenly regrets calling my name.

  “What?” I say with narrowed eyes.

  “It’s uh, nothing,” she stutters, her bottom lip trembling and I’m not convinced it’s because she’s cold.

  “If there is something wrong Tara, you need to tell me. I don’t fucking play games.”

  “I’m not playing games,” she snaps, readjusting herself, pulling her knees up and resting her chin there. “I’m just worried. Worried now that you’ve had what you want from me that you won’t want me around anymore.”

  “Carter wants you here with me. I really have no choice in the matter.”

  “Asshole,” she murmurs quietly, snapping her head away, resting her head on her hands as she focuses out of the window.

  I can’t fight back the chuckle that escapes me. “Tara, what is it you want from me? I’m not a romantic kind of guy. I’m a fucked up mess of a man. You knew that.”

  “But I want you to feel the way I feel when I’m around you,” she rushes out.

  “Feelings fucking complicate things.”

  “No,” she says, shuffling until she’s positioned right on the edge of the couch. “It doesn’t have to be that way. Feelings, the real ones, well, they can’t be controlled.”

  I stand in silence, part of me wants to tell this girl how she makes my blood pump faster, how it’s more than just my dick that stirs when I’m around her. But I’m not sure I’m ready to deal with how I feel for her, because I’m not sure I truly understand it myself, yet.

  “Say something,” she pleads, kneeling up in front of me, her arms wrapping around my neck.

  “I don’t know how I feel. I don’t know what to say, all I do know is that I like you. And right now, in a head full of fucking pain and confusion, liking you is the perfect distraction.”

  “I’ll take that,” she replies coyly, before pressing her lips against mine, giving me a fleeting kiss. She falls back on the couch dramatically and a squeal escapes her. I laugh, making my way toward the steps. I feel a buzz in the pocket of the jeans I’m holding in my hands. I sigh heavily before digging into the pocket, retrieving my phone.

  “Hey,” I answer the call as I continue making my way up the stairs.

  “Brax,” Carter breathes down the receiver. “I need you and Tara here within the next hour.”

  “Why, what’s wrong?”

  “The Savages will be here. Jeffries has called a meeting and specifically requested that Tara should be present.” I hear the tightness in his voice and I know he’s fucking unhappy.

  “Fuck,” I mumble, dropping my shit down on the bed.

  “I should never have brought her into this. It was you. You were the fucking reason I brought her.”

  “Hold the fuck up a minute,” I growl down the receiver. “I never asked you to set me up. Hell, I never asked you for anything, Carter, so don’t you fucking dare put this on me. If that girl is in danger that isn’t because of me.”

  “Calm the fuck down, man. Don’t you think I know what a huge fucking mistake I made?”

  “Why are they requesting her, anyway? Are they planning on questioning her or some shit?”

  “Nah, man,” he sighs heavily, pausing for a little while before continuing. “Jeffries saw her the night of the party and appears to have taken a shine to her.”

  “What?” I exclaim. “Tell him no. She isn’t getting pimped out by those cocksuckers. You know how they treat their women, Carter. No fucking way.”

  I press my finger and thumb against my forehead, rubbing back and forth trying to alleviate the tension. What’s wrong with this guy? It’s like he’s lost his balls, not wanting to fight with the Savages.

  “I would never let that happen, Brax, you know that. But this whole thing with the missing guy has ruffled their feathers. It makes good business sense to have them on our side.”

  “Business sense,” I say with a scoff, “What? You think dangling your cousin in front of that sleazy motherfucker is good business sense?”

  “Just bring her here, Brax. I’m not fucking justifying my decisions to you.”

  Before I get chance to respond, the dead tone drones down my ear. I growl, flinging the cell on the bed and make my way into the bathroom.

  No fucking way.

  Tara will not be a pawn in Carter’s game with the MC.

  I’ll make sure of it.

  “I don’t want to go,” she says, her voice wavering and her hand resting on her shaky knee.

  “I have my orders,” I say with a frown, handing her the helmet. “Put it on,” I instruct, sliding mine on in front of her. Turning the key in the ignition, I start the engine, kick back the stand then gently rev the engine.

  Her arms encompass me tightly; her hands gripping the front of my leather jacket. Her head props against my broad back and can’t help but like having her hold me this way. I force down a shudder as I pull the bike out of the driveway. I ride much slower than I would normally. Partly because Tara is on the back, but also because I’m dreading this whole situation.

  I pull up onto the gravel driveway, parking right in front of the door. I remove my helmet, nodding to the security on the door.

  “Brax,” he calls
out to me, nodding a little. “They’re waiting for you inside.”

  “Thanks, man,” I say, taking his hand and giving him a man hug, before making my way through the door and inside. I walk down the corridor; Tara’s tiny footsteps can be heard behind me. I stop suddenly, Tara running into the back of me.

  “Oh shit, sorry,” she mumbles, tucking some loose strands of hair behind her ear.

  “Shhh…” I say pressing my finger against her lip. “I have an idea.”

  “What kind of idea?” She enquires, her eyes narrowed on me.

  “Take my hand,” I say, holding it out for her to take. “Whatever happens, you tell them you’re with me.” She opens her mouth as though she is about to say something, but I don’t give her the chance. “No arguments.”

  A shy smile creeps across her face, lighting her eyes, leaving me a little breathless. I squeeze her hand a little, pushing back my shoulders as I prepare to walk out into the lion’s den. Questions will be asked and I’m not sure how Carter will react. But I will do what it takes to protect this girl. I can’t agree with his decision, business or not.

  I walk through the open sliding doors, jovial laughter and chatter fills the air. My eyes quickly scan the group and I notice that Carter isn’t here with these guys alone. Tommy, Anthony, Bobby, Nico and Felix are also here. I inhale a deep breath, my nostrils flaring as I realize that this must be some serious shit if he brought in the guys for support.

  “Brax,” Carter calls to me, summoning me with a wave of his hand. I walk through the crowd of guys to where Carter is standing behind the outside bar he has. As I walk forward, Tara tries to loosen the hold on my hand, but I hold it there tight. I turn my head sharply in her direction and glare at her. She bites the corner of her lip in reaction to my unspoken warning.

  “Carter,” I smile, lifting my head a little, my eyes dart to Jeffries standing beside him. “Jeffries,” I acknowledge his presence, offering my hand to him. He holds it out, his knuckles covered in the ugliest tattoos I’ve ever seen, gold rings adorning his foul hands.