“What are you doing, Romi?’ she asks, as I stand a little way from her and just admire the way she looks right now.
I untie her hands, wanting her to touch me. The feeling of her warmly wet pussy has my body electrified. The need to take her is overwhelming.
“I am going to put you on that bed and fuck you until you scream my name again and again.”
She smiles now, without hesitation she steps towards my voice and says, “I’m waiting.”
Challenging me even now when I have her vulnerable and exposed, fuck me.
“Tell me what you are waiting for, Vivvy.” I want to be in charge and yet the little bitch is trying to push me like she did in the car.
“You… to fuck me like I have imagined in my head since that first kiss.”
I shove her back onto the bed because all I can think of is sinking deep inside her and fucking her so hard that she cries and begs me to stop. So hard that she will never think I’m gay again. I flip her over and force her onto all fours, my cock in my hand, massaging it up and down over her glistening pussy. The scent of her lust burns my veins.
She pushes back, desperate for more, but I grip her hip and stop her. Holding her at my mercy I keep teasing her until she screams, “Fuck me, Romeo!” so loud that I am certain her neighbors heard.
Sliding so my dick rubs her clit, I bend over her spine so that I can talk in her ear. “Is that what you want, Vivvy?”
“Hmm.” She moans as I increase the friction, then I thrust inside her without any warning. Deep. All the way to the hilt, making her cry out, “Fuckkk,” and grind against me.
Dragging myself out all the way to the tip, I drive back in even harder. She’s gritting her teeth, holding back the expletives ready to slip out of her mouth. “Fuck me like you mean it.”
Oh you little bitch, I mean it. Pumping harder now, with the intention of her feeling every stroke in places that will ache tomorrow, she arches and bucks below me, then claws to try and get away from the harsh punching in and out. “Easy,” she says, reaching back, trying to stop me.
“Easy? Or like I mean it? I can’t do both, Viv.”
She stops resisting and doesn’t say another coherent word, she just steadies herself on her forearms and prepares for more. A few more long and slow strokes and I start to fuck her ruthlessly, hard and fast, ramming into her.
Viv grips the bedcovers and with each thrust I can hear the air being knocked out of her body as I slam up into her. My balls slapping against her smoking pussy, and the sound of skin on skin as my hips collide with her ass, fills the room.
I fuck her as hard and fast as I can. After a few minutes I am dripping sweat on her and she’s moaning like a feral minx.
“Rub your clit like you do in your movies, Vivvy. Rub it and cum on my dick!” I growl at her. So close …
“Yes,” she yells, reaching beneath herself, working her clit.
I feel her fingers at the base of my cock when I slip out on each stroke. I don’t stop or slow down, I just keep banging into her. Weeks of fantasizing about doing this are coming to life and it feels so fucking good. Her fingertips are frantically rubbing her clit while her other hand screws up the sheets in a fist of wrinkled fabric, her knuckles white.
And then she’s cumming. She bucks and shakes. Holding her hips I don’t let her escape. She falls face first into the bed, quivering, shuddering and saying my name over and over again. I keep harshly fucking her.
“Romi, Romi stop. Please, I can’t breathe.” She pants, trying to slide away from my relentless cock. The sight of that, hearing her say my name, and the tight contractions of her pussy have me ready to cum too.
“I’m going to cum.” She scrambles to get away even more now, fighting me. She’s still shaking as I grunt and flex, spurting hot cum into her, grinding deep, holding her captive in my powerful grip.
You're mine now.
“Fuck you, Romeo,” she says while I pulse inside her, angling deeper onto me, taking me completely and milking every drop with muscular ripples encasing my length.
I collapse over her back, breathing hard. When I kiss her neck, she sighs for me, reaching back to caress her palm down my sweaty skin, and the plan that I had in my head has flown right out of the sixth floor window.
Slipping her blindfold off I kiss her cheek, pull out of her and sink down onto the bed, pulling her next to me.
We lay spent, panting together.
Ten
Vivid Red
VIVIANA:
That was not what I expected, yet it was so much more. But after a few minutes of post-coital bliss, Romi is getting up, pulling his clothes on in a hurry and I get the feeling that he’s going to run.
“What are you doing?” I sit up, trying to find something to cover myself with but the bed is still made and there are no loose covers to pull on.
“Leaving,” he says.
The cold tone of his voice makes me shiver and I sense that I have done something wrong. “Why, what did I do?”
“You didn’t do anything, Viv. This wasn’t about you getting what you wanted from me, it was me proving that it’s me in control and not you. End your online porn addiction and I’ll come over again.”
My mouth falls open and I am lost for words. I have never felt so used, not even when I’m being screwed on camera for old perverts to watch.
“Are you being serious? You’re just going to fuck me and run?”
“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m doing.” He pulls his shirt straight and runs his fingers through his ‘after sex’ hair. “I told you not to play games with me and yet you kept pushing. Well, Viv, I don’t play well with others.”
The villainous smile on his face makes me want to slap him, and screw him again. I don’t like the way he makes me feel.
“You know what, Romi? Fuck you. The chase was far more fun than the catch. I’m not going to quit making videos for you. I thought about it for a second but fuck you and the high horse you rode in on.”
He chuckles, standing in the doorway. “I thought so.” He winks and leaves.
What an asshole.
The front door slams and the air is sucked out of my apartment with him. It winds me and I can’t breathe. I didn’t expect this malice, he’s always so nice, so warm and soft.
When shock eventually turns to rage I get up and shower so that him, his scent, and the semen dripping down my thigh is gone. I no longer want what I cannot have. It isn’t worth this, this feeling of shame and rejection. When I get out of the shower I stand up straight, lift my chin, and pretend that it never happened.
Do you know how hard it is to forget the best sex of your life? It’s like it is burned into my eyelids and every time I close them I can see it, feel it. He is everywhere and nowhere.
I go into the salon to make an appointment but his station is empty and Alistair says he is off for a few days. Chelsey does my hair, and it seems like something is wrong and I can’t place it.
Did you see dad today?
It’s a message from Rain on my phone when I leave the salon. Dad hasn’t recovered from the bug he had last week, I haven’t recovered from last week myself, but this is odd for him.
I will stop past now. Have you spoken to Nonna?
She says he needs doctor but won’t go. Please just go take him.
I’ll try…
The thought of convincing my father to go to the doctor alone is scary, but if Nonna says he’s that sick then he’s sicker than we think.
On the drive over to the house I get a call from Calvin. I ignore it the first time it rings, directly after his call, the phone rings again and I know he won’t quit until I answer him.
“Hello, this is Viv.”
“Jesus Christ, where have you been, Viv? You don’t answer messages or calls, what the hell?”
“I’ve been busy, there’s some stuff going on.”
“By stuff you mean a boy called Romeo, or actual stuff?”
“Actual stuff, like my fat
her is really sick, Calvin.” I tell a white lie.
“Oh.” He hesitates now, guilty for being an ass. “We wanted to film tonight, if you’re up for it?”
“Jack’s wasn’t pissed about last time?” I thought that’s why they hadn’t asked me.
“No, she’s cool. Just wanted to wait ’til she was back, you know, to avoid a repeat.” There’s a tingle at the base of my spine, the one that says this isn’t a good idea, but there’s also a defiant streak in me that cannot wait to do it and send the video to Romeo.
“Let me see how my dad is, I’ll let you know later today.” I give myself an out, a way to say no if I change my mind.
“No problem, call me later then Sweetness.” The endearment churns my guts and I hang up without saying anything back to him.
Pulling up outside my folks home, I check myself in the little mirror and clear the notifications on my phone. I don’t want to accidentally open a Vivvy message near my family. The front door is closed and I knock, waiting on the step for someone to let me in.
“Imma a coming.” I hear Nonna calling from inside. “I just find keys.” Her shuffling gets closer and eventually she unlocks and opens the door for me. “Viviana. You come for lunch? Come, come eat with us.”
“I came to check on Papa, is he up? Is he eating with you?”
“Si, he’s still not well but I made soup and dragged him up to eat it.” She closes and locks the door, making sure the safety chain is on. “Come, I get you a bowl, you too thin, girls today all so skinny. That’s why you all so angry all the time, you hungry.”
I laugh at her. I am hungry, but I’m skinny because I bust my ass in the gym so I can eat like an Italian.
“Thank you, Nonna.” I follow her to the kitchen where she hands me a bowl on Minestrone soup, it smells so good my stomach growls.
“Ciao Papa.” I kiss him on the cheek. His skin is cool and clammy, and I can tell he has a fever just from the smallest touch. His pallid skin and shaky hand are all signs that he’s really ill. “I’m here to take you to the doctor, Rain said you’re not allowed to fight about it.” He glares at me with a mouthful of soup and shakes his head. I just know it’s going to be a huge fight, so I message Rain.
Organize a house call. I will wait here and make him see the Doc, but no way he’s going anywhere.
I don’t have time for this shit, Viv.
Neither do I. He won’t go and he’s sick as a dog Rain, send someone here.
Fine. Wait there so he doesn’t chase them away.
He would chase them. The old man isn’t afraid of much in this world, but after our mother died his fear and hatred of doctors went overboard. This isn’t the first time we will have to force medical care on him, and probably won’t be the last. No matter how we look at it, my father is getting old.
He was fourteen years older than our mother, and in his late forties when Rain was born. There’s no sugar coating it, he’s too old for the stress of the business yet he clings on with iron claws, just not willing to let go all the way.
Now sitting here at the table, he looks old, he looks so tired and my chest tightens with the reality of what it could mean.
While Nonna and I are washing up the lunch dishes the doorbell rings. Family don’t use the bell, they knock, so I know it must be the doctor. “I’ll get it, Nonna. Rain sent a doctor for Papa.”
“Oh, he’s going to fight.”
“I know, but at least he can get better this way. Stubborn old man.”
“I don’t know where he got that from.” She jokes as I dry my hands to go open up the door and deal with the tantrum that’s coming.
My father has silent pneumonia, his lungs are full of slime and the infection is really bad. The doctor seemed really concerned and wanted to admit him to hospital. There was just no way he would even consider it. We made arrangements for a nurse to come to take care of him, and for the doctor and physiotherapist to come by every day.
I phoned Rain to come over and talk him down off the edge of hysteria, and by the time I get in my car to leave I am emotionally wrecked. Visions of my mother come back over me in waves of sadness and fear. I don’t want to lose my father, I can’t. In my car, with wet cheeks and tears still stinging my eyes, I realize that I am on a path of self-destruction and if my father found out what I was doing it would destroy him, quicker than any illness could.
Starting the vehicle, I drive away and dial Calvin on the bluetooth; I need to do this. Not because Romi said so, but because it has to stop before my family get hurt.
“Hello you. Are you coming over?” Calvin answers before I can even say hi.
“Hey, listen, I want to, but my father is really sick. I am going to have to take a break. My family need me and they’ll notice if I start to disappear.” The line is quiet for a second or two.
“Oh. Um. Okay, wow how long do you think you’ll need? We are running out of footage.”
“I don’t know. I also wanted to talk to you about that, I don’t think I want to post anymore. It’s just too risky with my family, if someone finds out I will be in a lot of trouble. They’ll send me away.” Heavy breathing and the sound of him moving around comes through.
“Viv, that’s not how this works. You signed a release. We can and will keep posting as long as we have the footage to post. I explained that to you, you cannot just walk away. Fuck me, Jack’s is going to be raging if I even tell her about this. Take a break, deal with your dad, but we are going to need you to come and film next week, so plan it into your life now.”
The tone of his voice is threatening and it makes me uneasy. I am not going back there and they can’t make me, but I have no fight left in me today so I simply say, “Fine,” and disconnect the call.
I am in traffic when I realize just how shaken I am, my leg bounces and I look for a place to pull over and calm down.
My shallow, panicked breaths are not getting enough oxygen to my brain and I feel like I may faint. Parked in a loading zone on a busy street I just sit, taking stock of just how much trouble I might have got myself into. I don’t know what to do and I have no one I can tell either, because no one knows.
Except him.
Eleven
Blue Black
ROMEO:
I left. I left because I had so many feelings that I knew if I didn’t leave I would stay, and that would be worse. Replaying every moment over and over in my head, by the time the sun rises, I haven’t slept at all. Guilt lines my stomach with a sick feeling and I text Ailee and ask for a few days off work.
Lies come too easy when I say I am sick, and by lunchtime I have turned off my phone, locked the front door, and hidden myself from the world.
I watch her videos. They don’t turn me on or make me hard; they anger me. Now that I have had her I don’t like the notion, or idea, of him touching her. The look in his beady little eyes and the way his snow white, pale skin, stands out against her golden flesh makes me want to rip his throat out.
Three showers later her smell is still imprinted on my brain and the taste of her coats my tongue. It’s like that forbidden fruit, once you have it nothing will ever be as sweet as that.
When I can’t forget, I turn to the booze that is stashed in the top cupboard in the kitchen. Whiskey, straight out of the bottle. It burns my throat and dissolves the residue of Viv as it flows down. Still I drink more because when I close my eyes I see her, and I want to forget her.
This was supposed to be a purge to get her out of my system, and to teach her a lesson about teasing. Instead she’s made her way inside me, flowing through my veins. When the bottle is half empty, I pass out in the front room, draped over the arms of the chair where I collapsed, allowing drunk notions and tainted dreams to take me over.
I wake up late in the afternoon, sweating and smelling like an episode of moonshiners. My clothes are stuck to me and my mouth is as dry as the Atacama desert. The drumbeat in my temples is another reminder of my poor choices and bad judgement.
&
nbsp; In my hungover self-pity, I take comfort in my pain because I should never have given in to my desires; not for her. I am probably going to end up dead, or best case scenario with two broken knees and a plastic surgery bill I’ll never pay off. But, a whisper inside me says it was worth it. That small window of absolute perfection and pure pleasure was worth whatever happens next.
Peeling off my shirt and jeans in a bid to relieve myself from the stifling heat in my apartment, I go open the windows, letting in the soft breeze. Taking a long, deep breath and letting it out slowly, I can’t stay in here any longer; I will go crazy.
My stomach growls at me. The whiskey lunch was obviously insufficient and I decide to go to the one place no one will look for me. We started going there as kids, and later it was only me and Rat that would still eat there. It was our little hiding place from our families when we needed it most. Today I need to hide from it all. I’m hiding from myself right now.
A short shower, some fresh clothes, and I still look like death. But I am respectable enough to leave the house.
Edmond greets me with a bear hug when he sees me. “Where have you been, boy? And why do you look like you’ve taken up day drinking?”
“Working, and I might have taken up day drinking but only for today.” I wink at him as he walks me to a table facing the door.
“You look hungry and hungover, what shall I get you?”
“Whatever’s good today. I can’t be trusted to make decisions for myself right now.”
“Oh really? What’s her name?”
“If I tell you you’ll have to kill me, Ed.” I rest my head in my hands and shake my head, I am an idiot.
“Let me get you some food to soak up that whiskey in your brain, then we can have a talk.” He pats me on the back. The door chimes as it opens and he looks up with a smile. “You mind company at this pity party?”
I look up to see the Rat, that the cat dragged in, stagger through the door. “No, I don’t mind. He looks the way I feel. Anyone else know he’s back?”
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