Sweet Cream Ladies, Ltd.

by Flo Fitzpatrick

  Smiles from Joey to Babs and back again. She was sitting on the bed with him, holding his hand and looking very pleased with herself for taking out Tammy and keeping her man safe.

  “And?” I asked.

  “And Mr. C didn’t think I was the brightest candle on a stick which was part of my brilliant plan. I needed to be in places where he’d let his guard down and perhaps reveal something I could use. So he thought I was dumb but he did like me. I was friendly. I didn’t do dope. I didn’t chase women, well except for Thomasina Carmosina the night of the New Year’s party since I needed a cover at the party so I didn’t look like an idiot. As soon as I realized who she was I told her I was engaged to a girl from the old country.” A beautiful smile suddenly flashed across Lionel’s equally beautiful face. “Which is true, except the old country isn’t Italy, it’s Ireland and the girl’s name is Moira, not Maria.”

  Joey blinked. “Okay. Got the whole undercover-catch-the-crime-boss thing.” He winced. “Which is a really awful way to refer to one’s father but let’s face it—that’s what he is even if he’s never been put in Sing-Sing for it—but anyway, Lionel infiltrates the Staten Island mansion. Cool. Now, how did he end up with Sebastian during the big chase scene with Tammy and Howard?”

  Lionel gestured toward Sebastian. “Over to you?”

  “If I must. Okay. First of all, I knew about the undercover operation with the F.B.I. Contrary to a lot of television shows and crime fiction, the police and the feds do work in concert with one another on many occasions and do let the right hand know what the left is doing. And I’d known Lionel since he truly was a beat cop. Three years ago, after he’d joined the F.B.I., we worked together on a racketeering case in Manhattan. When I saw him at the Carmosina New Year’s bash we found a way to chat with each other without anyone noticing. He told me what he was doing. A few weeks later, I found out that Joey’s dad has assigned Lionel to follow Babs and Bootsie.”

  Babs broke in, “Which I still think stinks and I’m still not happy with Mr. C for acting like Joey and I are a couple of kindergarten kids who left the sandbox and need to be cleaned up and brought back to mama.”

  Sebastian blinked. “I did not understand that analogy at all. So I’m going to ignore it.”

  I smiled at him. “Please do. And continue. You’re doing a lovely job.”

  He sighed. “Fine. Okay, once I discovered Mr. C was stalking and Lionel was the stalker, I asked Lionel if he’d shift the focus to keeping more of an eye out for the ladies since I was afraid they were both in danger. He deliberately let the ladies catch him so they wouldn't notice when he really was following them. Anyway, all this worked until Mr. C decided he wanted his ‘crew’ staying with him after my shooting which we all believed was supposed to be his which I’m still not sure isn’t the case since Tammy is such a lousy shot no one really knows whom she was aiming at.”

  “And you say Babs is confusing?” I snickered.

  Lorelei took a bite of the box dinner she’d brought for Joey, wisely ignored us both and inquired, “And tonight?”

  I held my hand up like one of those sandbox kindergartners. “Ooh! Ooh! Me! My turn. Sneaky Sebastian knew that Babs and I weren’t going to stay put once we’d figured out that Jean Liuzzi had overheard our idea for becoming hit women and we were both mad enough after Joey's shooting that we were determined to do something about it immediately. Sebastian the sneak followed us. Called Lionel when he saw us go into the old Van Boegart building.” I turned to Sebastian. “Cop instinct?”

  He sighed. “Not exactly. I called Vertigo and asked about Jean, who had told him Tammy Tarantella was her cousin and a bit of a flake and he'd be better off avoiding her. So I figured that Tammy might be the one you two gung-ho trackers were really after, especially since security tapes from Hollywood FX that two of my forensics team rewatched showed a blonde woman who resembled Ms. Tarantella to a strong extent creeping around the museum on the night Clay met the shark and the night Todd got the bullet in the butt. What I didn’t know was that Tammy and Howard had also been following you around the city and they’d show up this night but I felt twitchy about the whole thing and called Lionel to come help me drag you out of trouble in case you were nutty enough to break into the Valentine offices—which you were.”

  Babs and I both studied the ceiling tiles for a moment. We knew enough not to admit to anything.

  Joey chuckled; then grew serious. “Why were you guys so late in getting to the girls? You knew they were there. Why not stop them?”

  Lionel’s answered, “Because we figured the best way to get to the ladies quickly and quietly was to use the basement and tunnel from Jazz Babies. Where folks were still doing major partying when we popped in. We found the owner, who had to search for the key so we wouldn’t be forced to try to break down an extremely heavy door. While we waited we went back outside to figure out how the pair of you had gotten into the Van Boegart house. And unfortunately we found a citizen lying unconsciousness outside the front door. We called the paramedics but had to do a little CPR before they arrived. He’s fine today, thankfully.”

  “Who is he?” I asked. “Was he a drunk from Jazz Babies?”

  “Bouncer from Jazz Babies. He saw lights on in Vertigo’s building and decided to investigate. Which is when he got bopped on the head by Howard.”

  “Dang. Chalk up more injuries to the Great Krempowsky. Which reminds me, did you know Howard was involved?” I asked both Lionel and Sebastian.

  Two heads shook “no” at the same time and both faces wore the same embarrassed expression. Sebastian responded, “We knew Tammy wasn’t alone but we thought Vertigo was the one working with her since we also knew they’d started seeing each other.”

  “Ha! So if Bootsie and I hadn’t gone on our little trip to the Valentine offices, you guys might have picked up Vertigo and left Howard and Tammy to keep doing what they were doing.”

  “That’s simplifying the facts, Babs,” Sebastian muttered.

  “But it’s true.” I grinned at him. “Let’s face it. If Babs and I hadn’t started this whole thing by telling the world our wild plan to bump people off, Tammy and Howard would still have killed Monica and Minerva and Clay and no one would have been the wiser as to why.”

  Lorelei snickered. “I think you’re brilliant and I’m also very glad that you and Babs made it out alive even if missed all the fun in the basement of that horror show they call an office building.”

  Joey chuckled. “Your mom’s right, Laramie. You and Lionel both have to admit that occasionally justice must take off its blindfold and bow to these awesome brilliant woman.” He lifted up his glass of grape juice with the little bent straw. “A toast! To truth and justice! Oh! I just remembered. We can toast this too. I got a call from Eva Martinez this morning. They got financial backing for The List so Babs and Bootsie have real live acting gigs starting in two weeks and I’m stage managing as soon as I’m out of this bed.”

  Hugs all around.

  Lorelei solemnly raised her own glass, which was actually a giant-convenience store soda. “Jobs are great and I’ll toast to truth justice and a paycheck but I think the really big kudos need to go to the Sweet Cream Ladies.”

  Sebastian smiled. “Limited.”

  I hugged him. “No more.”

  “What? You’re giving up the game? No more wild schemes to take out poor slobs from each of the five boroughs? Well, Hallelujah!”

  “Oh no.” I grinned. “We're just getting started. Schemes galore. Peaceful ones but we still have more than a few ideas for humiliating some folks who need it. Nope. We’re just realizing what we truly are. We’ve been looking at this all wrong.”

  “And that would be? What are you now?” asked Lionel.

  Babs and I solemnly raised our cups of lousy four-in-the-morning-hospital-cafeteria coffee to salute each other, then I announced. “Sweet Cream Ladies are now officially—unlimited.”

  About the Author:

  Flo Fitzpatrick is a
multi-published author of romantic suspense, mystery and paranormals. Her 2005 Kensington release Hot Stuff was nominated by RT Book Reviews for Best Romantic Suspense and optioned for film. Flo's background includes a Masters degree in Theatre and a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Dance. When she's not writing or giving online workshops, she's teaching dance and theatre. Visit her website at:

  www.flofitzpatrick.com