A Touch of Grace

by Lauraine Snelling

  Her son came through the door, saw his wife in the bed and his mother at the window. “I’m sorry; I came as soon as I heard.” His whisper sounded like a shout in the stillness. “Is it over, then?”

  “Ja. Elizabeth just needs to sleep. I gave her something to help her relax. Now we need to pray for healing for her. Losing a baby that never lived has its own sorrow.”

  “But we will have more babies?”

  “I don’t see why not. But she will grieve this one too.”

  “What can I do?”

  “Fix a little box, and we will bury him in your backyard. He can have a cross there, and then we’ll plant a tree for him. I thought maybe an apple tree.”

  “He. A son.”

  “Ja.”

  Thorliff stared out the window.

  Ingeborg knew he wasn’t seeing the yard any more than she had.

  “But Elizabeth will be all right?”

  “I believe so. She is strong.”

  “I-I can’t lose her. If we never have any more children, I can’t lose her.” He raised his tear-streaked face to stare into his mother’s eyes.

  “I know how you feel, but only God knows the future.”

  “Thorliff?” Elizabeth sounded sleepy.

  “Ja, I am here.” Thorliff sat on the edge of the bed and gathered his wife into his arms. Ingeborg left the two of them to cry together. Roald had not cried with her. Roald had never cried that she remembered. Perhaps he did after his brother Carl died, but not in her presence. Good thing that God never shared the future with His children. They wouldn’t want to go on.

  She made her way downstairs and to the kitchen, where Thelma was mixing biscuits.

  “Supper will be ready as soon as these are done.” Thelma patted the dough out on a floured board and, using a glass rim, cut the dough. “I put cheese and dill in—thought some extra might perk up the doctor’s appetite. She ain’t been eating good the last couple days. Now we know why.”

  “Thank you for your care of her.”

  “Just wish I could do more, but …”

  “So do we all, but we can be content knowing we do our best.”

  “That little Inga, she’s the best thing that ever happened to me. You think there’ll be more little ones?”

  “Yes, I do, and I’m sure you’ll be able to enjoy Sophie’s twins as they get a bit older.”

  “I had a baby once. Cholera took him and my man.”

  Ingeborg swallowed her surprise. Thelma had never said anything about her past life before. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “Long time ago.”

  Ingeborg stared at the woman sliding the pan of biscuits into the oven. She had no idea even how old Thelma was. Or what her last name was. And considering all the hours Thelma had spent here in the surgery and just visiting, it was amazing that nothing had ever been said. “Where did you come from?”

  “Fargo.”

  Ingeborg waited until she realized no more words were forthcoming. Thelma never took part in any of the family events, even when they were here. She always remained in the background. The only time she’d seen her away from the house was in church. Strange how they just accepted her as part of the woodwork.

  “I’m setting the table in the dining room for you and Mr. Bjorklund. I’ll take a tray up to the doctor when she wants it. I thought biscuits and soup might be good for her.”

  “I’ll go see if she’s awake. Perhaps we’ll all just eat on trays with her if she feels up to it.” Ingeborg mounted the dark walnut stairs. Maybe she should suggest that Elizabeth invite her parents to come visit. While Thorliff and Elizabeth had gone occasionally to visit them in Northfield, Mr. and Mrs. Rogers had not come west. And if her father didn’t feel he could leave his newspaper, perhaps her mother would come. She met Thorliff coming out of the bedroom.

  “She’s sound asleep,” he said softly.

  “Good. That’s the best medicine right now.” She tucked her arm in Thorliff ’s. “Thelma has supper nearly ready. I think I will go home after that.”

  “You want me to come for Inga?”

  “Not on your life. We get to keep her. She’s all excited about sleeping with Tante Asti.” She smiled as she said Inga’s name for Astrid. “Just think how quickly she is growing up.”

  “I know. She told me the other day that printer’s ink is stinky and I should wash my hands better.”

  Thelma served them in the dining room, refusing an invitation to join them, and returned to the kitchen and the little room off the kitchen, where she slept. If she slept.

  “I’ll come back in the morning to check on Elizabeth and perhaps bring Inga then.”

  Thorliff laid his fork down and rested his elbows on the table, leaning forward to gaze at his mother. “I never dreamed that one little girl could become so important to me. I mean, I knew you and Far loved me and that someday I would love my own children, but not like this.” He waved his hand in a gesture that included the entire house. “Right now, this huge house seems empty without her laughter and the slap of her little feet. I am looking forward to more children, and I know losing another one is crushing Elizabeth, but Inga …”

  “She’s your first, and your firstborn always has a special place in your heart. But thanks be to God, the more children there are to love, the larger grows the heart of love, so there is always enough for everyone. We’re like our heavenly Father in that way.” Ingeborg smiled at her son, who was not of her loins but always of her heart. “I think that is one of those things that people without children never comprehend. They never realize what they are missing out on.”

  “There are still things beyond our understanding too. How did Tante Kaaren cope when they realized Grace was deaf?”

  “With love and prayer. And it shows in Grace’s character now that she is grown.”

  “But what about when your children do something that really disappoints you?”

  “How often do you think we disappoint our Father?”

  “Point well taken, but He is better at forgiving than I am.” Thorliff buttered his bread and took a bite of potatoes and gravy to go with the bite of bread. Silence smiled in benediction. “I guess you have to be a parent to begin to understand what your parents went through.”

  “I guess that is very true.” She cut a piece off the roast pork and chewed. “Thelma is such a good cook. You are fortunate to have her.”

  “Elizabeth was moaning one day that she wasn’t being a very good wife because she rarely cooks and seldom cleans.”

  “And what did you tell her?”

  “That I hired men to do the jobs that I haven’t time for and saw nothing wrong with that, so why shouldn’t she do the same? After all, my work rarely takes me out in the buggy to spend the night delivering a baby or fighting to keep someone alive.”

  “Thorliff, you are a man among men, and I am so proud of you at times that I nearly burst with it. I know your far would have been so very proud of you too.”

  “Can I get you anything else?” Thelma asked from the doorway.

  “Mor?”

  Ingeborg shook her head. “Thank you, no.” She wiped her mouth with her napkin and laid the napkin back on the table. “I’m going to check on Elizabeth, and then I will head home. The supper was delicious.”

  “Can you take a few more minutes?” Thorliff asked his mother.

  She settled back in her chair. “Of course, if you need something.”

  “I would like to buy Penny’s store.”

  “So would I. Haakan and Lars are buying the machinery and blacksmith business, and I don’t see how we can do both.”

  “What if we all went together on it?”

  “Who would run it? None of us has time to be in a store all day.”

  “We could advertise for a manager, like we did for the flour mill.”

  “I keep hoping they won’t leave.”

  “Have you heard Mrs. Valders wants to buy it? People are saying she’s trying to argue Penny down on her a
sking price.”

  “No, really?” Leave it to that woman. “But Penny has the price at rock bottom already.”

  “I know. That’s why it sticks in my craw too. I think if we buy it, we should ask Gerald to run it.”

  “Perhaps that is what Hildegunn plans.”

  “Perhaps. I think we all need to get together and talk about this.”

  “Tomorrow night at our house?”

  “I’ll ask around. No, let’s give Elizabeth a couple of days. She’ll want to be there.”

  On the way home Ingeborg thought about the conversation. Why was she feeling like they needed to hurry?

  “SHE DID WHAT?” Grace couldn’t believe her eyes.

  Sophie signed along with speaking more slowly. “Penny sold her store to a man from back east.”

  “But I thought …” Grace stammered to a stop. “Do Haakan and Far know?”

  “I don’t think so. Mr. Harlan Jeffers stayed overnight here, and I heard him talking with one of the other men. He was really pleased with the purchase but said that Ms. Bjorklund was a hard negotiator. She wouldn’t come down on the price one bit.”

  “Good for Penny.” Grace leaned back in her chair. The slight breeze on the back porch of the boardinghouse rustled the cotton-wood leaves and cooled the girls’ faces. With her foot Sophie set the cradle by her chair rocking gently. The twins had been asleep since their latest feeding, Hamre with one arm over his sister. Grace smiled at them, remembering her mother’s stories that she and Sophie had been most content that way too. Would she and Toby have twins too? The thought made her jerk her attention back to Sophie’s conversation.

  “Penny said she got fed up with Mrs. Valders’ haggling, and none of the family had enough ready money to buy her out. Hjelmer was being impatient, so she sold it to the highest bidder.”

  “Does Hjelmer have a house for them yet?”

  “I guess so. She’s leaving most of their furniture here. Mr. Jeffers said he could move right in, another thing that pleased Hjelmer mightily.”

  “Have you seen Toby lately?” The words leaped off her fingers.

  “No. Why?” Sophie stared at her. “You’ve asked me that before. Is there something you’re not telling me?”

  Grace hid behind her glass of lemonade. Why did I ask her that? I know better.

  “Grace Knutson, what is going on? Astrid says Mr. Gould is taken with you, and I think that could be a wonderful thing. And you’re asking about Toby.”

  “I just haven’t seen him for a while, and you know he’s been my friend for years. That’s all.” And now I’m telling a lie too. I have to tell someone. Can I trust Sophie? If I can’t trust my sister, whom can I trust? But Sophie didn’t trust me about Garth either. Grace glanced up to see a frown marring Sophie’s forehead.

  Sophie’s eyes narrowed. “You think you’re in love with Toby?” She both signed and spoke, her fingers showing her agitation.

  “I don’t think so. I know so.” There. She had said it. She laid her shaking hands in her lap.

  “How do you know?”

  “How did you know?”

  Sophie heaved a sigh and then shook her head. “I couldn’t think about anything else. I couldn’t eat. I had a hard time sleeping. I was terrified Hamre was going to leave without me, and I couldn’t abide that. I didn’t think I could live without him.” A silence fell with both young women studying the babies in the cradle.

  “Do you regret going?” Grace stammered on the words.

  Sophie looked up from the babies, shaking her head all the while.

  “Not one bit. I regret hurting all of you; that is my only regret.”

  “But now you are in love with Mr. Wiste?”

  “Yes, and now I know again what love is. Sometimes it is like I dreamed Hamre and our so very brief life together. I had a letter from Mrs. Soderstrum, and it brought it all back. I sat and cried for Hamre and for what he is missing in not seeing his babies and not getting his boat. But then I thought of what Mor and Tante Ingeborg would say.” She smiled at her sister. “They’d say that Hamre is in heaven and there are no regrets in heaven. He has more than a boat of his own, and he is watching to make sure we are all right.”

  Grace nodded. “That’s what they’d say.”

  “But you, my dear sister, just very cleverly got the attention off you and back onto me. I have a feeling you’ve been doing that for a lot of our lives. So here’s my question: what makes you think you care for Toby as more than a friend? And second, do you think he feels the same way?”

  Grace answered, “I have always loved him.”

  “But what makes you think it is love.”

  “I can’t picture being with anyone else. I am comfortable with him. I love watching him, talking with him. He has always been kind to me… .” Both her voice and fingers trailed off. “And I see love in his eyes when he looks at me.”

  Sophie shook her head. “Sounds more like good friends to me.” She shook her head. “Has Toby ever said or done anything like take your hand or lean close when he talks with you or …” She closed her eyes.

  “N-no.”

  “Does your heart pick up the beat when he is near?”

  “Well, sort of. I mean, I guess. I haven’t paid much attention to that.”

  “Do you have this deep desire to touch his arm, take his hand, stand closer to him?”

  “I’ve thought of those things a few times, once or twice.” Grace retreated into her chair. She did feel like she was burning when Jonathan looked at her, but that couldn’t be what Sophie was talking about. Where was Mrs. Sam when she needed her? How come they’d had all this time alone together without someone needing something?

  “And besides all that—” Sophie leaned closer and stared right into Grace’s eyes—“do you really want Mrs. Valders to be your mother-in-law?”

  Grace clapped her hands over her mouth, feeling her eyes grow round at the laugh bubbling up. “Sophie.”

  Sophie shrugged, then laughed too. “Just thought I’d ask.”

  “Do you feel all you said with Mr. Wiste?”

  “Oh my, yes.” She closed her eyes again. “I know this is so right, and we both agree that life might be too short. Look what happened to both our mates. We don’t want to waste any of the time we might have together. In spite of what etiquette says.” She shuddered. “Who made those rules anyway?”

  Grace grinned at her sister. “They’re not in the Bible.”

  “See? That’s what I mean.”

  They both looked up as the screen door opened. Mrs. Sam nodded over her shoulder. “Gentleman here to see you.”

  “Can he come out here?”

  “I think you better come in.”

  Sophie dusted crumbs off her gown and followed Mrs. Sam into the kitchen.

  Grace moved to Sophie’s chair so she could continue to rock the cradle. She watched as Joy stretched and then settled back into sleep. Good thing, since her mother was busy at the moment.

  The screen door slammed, the babies flinched at the bang, and Grace caught the movement from the side of her eye. Sophie, furious, didn’t need signs or words to let her sister know something was wrong.

  “What is it?” Grace asked.

  “That insolent creep Mr. Cumberland—the man who wanted to buy the boardinghouse and spread rumors that I agreed to sell—is back. This time with another offer he is so sure I will take that he even offered, mind you, to go talk with Haakan and Thorliff for me so that no one can say he took advantage of a poor widow, young as I am.” She stomped up the porch, then down.

  Grace could feel the force of her sister’s fury right through the soles of her feet.

  “And then he had the nerve to request a room here for the night.” She glanced in the cradle to see the babies twitching and making faces.

  “And if I don’t calm down, I’ll have babies to feed, and maybe my milk will be curdled.” She threw Grace a half smile. “Do women get mastitis?”

  Grace shrugged. “
So what are you going to do?”

  “I don’t know. Any suggestions?”

  “You could write a letter to his company, telling them to leave you alone, that due to his mismanagement, you would never consider selling to them.”

  “He is one of the owners.”

  “Oh.”

  “Now look what I’ve done.”

  Grace watched Sophie swoop down and pluck Hamre from the cradle.

  What if I have a baby, and since I can’t hear it when it cries, something terrible happens? Where had a thought like that come from?

  “Shush, shush. Let your sister sleep.” Sophie looked to Grace. “Joy has been awake for a couple of hours each night lately.”

  “Fussy?”

  “Screaming. I’m afraid she’ll wake the men who are sleeping. Mrs. Sam has helped me walk her.”

  “Still the colic?”

  “I don’t know. Ask Mor for me, will you?”

  “You ask her. She’s planning on coming in tomorrow. If you want me to, I could spend the night.” She inhaled the wonderful fragrance of strawberry preserves wafting from the kitchen.

  “I need to go change him. Keep your eye on Joy, will you please? I’ll be right back.”

  Grace leaned her head against the back of the chair, the rocking motion soothing her as much as the baby. How she would have loved to pick little Joy up and rock with her, but Sophie wanted to feed Hamre before this one insisted. After spending the entire day here, Grace realized Sophie was right. Feeding babies was what she did most of the time. How had Mor managed with the two of them?

  She closed her eyes, and as usual Toby came striding across her mind, greeting her with a smile. He tucked her arm in his, and they walked up a path lined with green grass and bright yellow buttercups on both sides. Bluebells danced on their slender stalks; a meadowlark heralded them from the meadow. They paused under the shade of a big old oak tree. Toby turned toward her, looking deep into her eyes.

  Grace, I—

  She knew he was going to kiss her. She leaned forward and—

  Her eyes flew open as she felt Sophie return.

  “All right, we are back. I see Joy is still sleeping. Thank you, Lord.”

  Grace could feel a flush start up her neck. Good thing Sophie couldn’t read her mind or decipher her dreams. What would Toby’s lips feel like on hers? How would she breathe if he ever kissed her a long time? Was her heart beating extra hard like Sophie had asked?