Night Hawk

by Lindsay McKenna

  Tearing his mouth away from hers, Gil heard a low cry of protest lodge in Kai’s slender throat, saw her eyes barely open, sharpened with arousal. Oh, Gil knew that look in her eyes. Kai was a hunter in the bedroom. They met and matched each other time and again. She was bold, assertive and knew what she wanted. And he more than wanted to give her everything—and even more.

  He was breathing roughly, his chest rapidly rising and falling as he stared down into her glistening, lust-filled eyes. His voice was scratchy, unsteady. “Dove, we have to stop. You know that…” He hated saying those words. He saw Kai wince, saw the disappointment register in her eyes. He had called her Dove in special moments like this. Her dove-gray eyes. Gil hated himself. But he was more afraid of any future with Kai if they went beyond their kiss. His hands itched to release her face and slide down, cupping those small, pert breasts of hers.

  With a moan of frustration, Kai released him. Her knees were wobbly and Gil’s hands left her face and settled lightly on her shoulders to steady her. Lips tingling with the taste of his mouth, she tried to think. Tried to get the strewn, glowing parts of herself under her control once more. “God,” she whispered, giving him an anguished look. “I—I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

  “Hush,” Gil ordered her with a growl. “You did mean it. And so did I.” Gil slid his fingers through her hair, needing to retain a connection with her in some way. Her cheeks were flushed, her gray eyes like velvet diamonds, her black pupils so large as she stared wonderingly up at him. “I’m not sorry, Kai. And you shouldn’t be, either. It had to happen.” His mouth curved inward. “We’d be fools to ignore our past.”

  She closed her eyes, her fingers gripping his upper arms for support as she weaved slightly. “Oh, Gil,” she whispered in a strained tone.

  Gently, he folded Kai against him. At first, she resisted. He maintained the same pull, not increasing it, just waiting. Her eyes were a little wild with panic, but then she capitulated, allowing him to draw her against him. He didn’t hold her tightly, wanting her to control the embrace. He kissed her hair, feeling the strength of the shining auburn strands beneath his lips. Gil wanted to trail a series of them down her skull to her nape, where Kai was particularly sensitive. It was an erogenous zone that sent her into a wild-woman reaction. Every woman had a particular spot that unzipped her from civilization and she became that stalking female animal who was fearless and taking what she wanted. Gil didn’t dare kiss her there. Kai would come apart in his arms and he knew it. What had just happened? His mind was barely functioning. His erection ached so much he wanted to bend over and groan. She turned him on so swiftly, so completely. She always had.

  Kai stood with her head against his shoulder, her arms loose around his waist as if absorbing him, appreciating him. She had no idea of the love he held for her. And as he rested his chin against her hair, Gil closed his eyes, grateful that Kai was once again in his arms. She had come to him, not the other way around. His heart grew to twice the size in his chest and Gil could barely take a breath because joy was flowing so strongly through him. Kai lifted him. She always made him feel like a man. Always.

  Gil felt her stir and regretfully opened his arms so that she could step out of his embrace. She pushed her fingers through her hair, looking at him, looking away, scared and unsure of what had just happened. Gil knew he needed to be solid and steady right now because her eyes reflected fear, arousal, confusion and so much more. “Listen, we need to get to our rooms and catch some sleep.”

  Kai gave a jerky nod, nervously smoothing her tee down across her waist, fingers trembling. “Yes. Yes, that’s right,” she whispered.

  “Come on,” he said in a low voice, “I’ll walk you to your room.” Gil looked deep into her eyes and saw relief. Kai was just as blown apart by what had happened as he was. She was going to need time to figure it all out. And he was unsure where he fit into her life, if at all. Would Kai back away now? Run away? Too fearful of the sexual chemistry that exploded between them every time they got close to one another? Gil had no answers and that tore heavily at his vulnerable heart.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  KAI WATCHED AS little Daisy, now chewing ardently on one of Sandy’s leather shoes in the living room, whined with excitement. The puppy had been home for three days. Kai stood quietly at the kitchen entrance, having come in for lunch. She saw it was a training session in progress, which Talon tried to do three times a day, to acclimate his combat assault dog to tiny Daisy. Everyone knew to stand still and not speak.

  Talon was on one knee, his hand on Zeke’s leash. Zeke sat five feet away, in the center of the room, watching the golden retriever puppy whine and wiggle happily, teething the toe of Sandy’s shoe.

  “Okay, Mom,” Talon told her. “Pick Daisy up, and I want you to hold her in your hands and bring her within three feet of Zeke.”

  Sandy nodded and scooped happy little Daisy up from the floor. “He’s been so good, son.”

  Talon nodded. “I know, but you don’t untrain a combat dog in one day or one week. I want Zeke to get used to you holding Daisy and walking around him with her in your arms. He has to stay put. He can’t follow you.”

  Sandy stood and gave Cass, who had just come up to stand next to Kai, a smile of hello. He was leaning casually against the doorjamb, arms across his chest, watching the training session with interest.

  Kai heard Zeke whine, but he didn’t move. His tail eagerly thumped on the floor. Sandy did as she was instructed by her son.

  “Okay, great, Mom,” Talon praised in a low, calm tone. “Now, walk a large circle around us. I have to make sure Zeke will obey me and remain sitting, no matter where you are going with Daisy.”

  Sandy nodded, placed wriggling Daisy against her breast, both hands folded gently against the puppy and did a walk around.

  Zeke twisted his head, his gaze trained on Daisy.

  Sandy came around to the front of Zeke. “Okay?”

  “Yes, good,” Talon said, smiling up at his mother. “You two are doing good.”

  “I just think Zeke is lonely and he’s dying to have Daisy around him all the time, Talon.”

  “You’re probably right, Mom, but we have to be sure about it.” Talon glanced at his watch. “It’s lunch time. Let’s call this training session to an end.” He rose and took Zeke over to his big, round bed at the end of the couch and ordered the dog on it. Zeke complied. Talon took off the leash.

  Kai smiled to herself as Sandy took Daisy, who was just a bundle of energy, to her bedroom. They couldn’t allow the puppy to run freely through the house yet until Talon was sure Zeke wouldn’t charge or run after the puppy. The Belgian Malinois had already proved he wouldn’t bite or snap at Daisy, because the first thing Talon did was to place the puppy in his hand so that Zeke could smell her. It had only made Zeke more happy from what Kai could tell. But Talon was being cautious and she knew he had a right to be. Zeke, when unleashed in the field, was a rocket on four legs with over four-hundred pounds per square inch of bite when he took down an enemy. And the dog wouldn’t let go once he clamped his teeth around the tango until Talon arrived to give him the order to release him.

  Everyone at the ranch was circumspect and supported Talon’s efforts to socialize his dog. And everyone had fallen instantly in love with giddy, silly Daisy.

  She felt more than heard Gil come up behind her. He stood about six inches away from her and she could feel the heat rolling off his masculine body. Her body reacted, heat flowing through her, that gnawing feeling growing intense, wanting Gil. Even her mouth tingled in memory of his searching kiss, so tentative, against hers.

  Gil had been right to call a halt to it, because she was coming undone beneath his kiss. He had been the one who was thinking far more clearly than she was.

  Turning her head, Kai met his warm blue gaze. “Hi,” she said. Everything was changing between them. Since the kiss three days ago, they’d had no time to sit and talk privately. Gil’s leg was almost back to normal, and
he was past the incarceration period. Fence post replacement was a priority and he, Cass and Talon were out working all day on the long-term project. Gil was sweaty and she inhaled his scent, which was a mix of the Wyoming sage along with his own masculine scent that always drove her crazy.

  “Hey, how’s it going out in the barn?”

  Her big project, the hay baler, was turning out to be a cantankerous job at best. “One step at a time. I’m nowhere near done. So many parts to replace. I need to go into Ace Trucking and use their metal machine shop.” She saw his brows drop, a sudden sense of protection wrapping around her. She honestly didn’t know why everyone was so jumpy about Chuck Harper. He’d never given her any reason to think he was the lowlife that everyone said he was.

  “When you going in?” Gil asked.

  “After lunch. Why?” She gave him a teasing look. “You want to be my big, bad guard dog this time around?” Only once—plus the picnic they had gone on—had Kai skirted the rule Talon had made that she had to have a male escort when over at Harper’s trucking company.

  “Yeah, I’ll do the duty,” Gil said, and gave her a half smile. “And maybe, if we get lucky, can I buy you a cup of coffee and some apple pie at Mo’s afterward? We need to talk and we’re not getting much opportunity to do it around here.”

  Quirking her lips, Kai agreed. “Sure, I’d like that.”

  Gil nodded. “Talon’s done. Let’s go eat. I’m starving.”

  He moved with such powerful male grace and confidence, Kai thought as she followed him through the bright sunny kitchen. It was Cat’s turn today to help Cass with food and setting the table. They all took turns and it was working out well. Cat raised her hand in hello to Kai as she brought over a stack of tuna sandwiches piled high on a wooden tray. Sandy was always served first because she was the head of the Holt household.

  “I made an extra big tuna sandwich for you, Sandy,” Cass called from the kitchen. “Cat knows which one it is.”

  Cat grinned and offered it to Sandy. “He’s on a mission to get that lost twenty pounds back on you or else.”

  Wrinkling her nose, Sandy picked up the special plate that had the sandwich on it. “Tell me about it. I’ve already regained seven pounds.”

  “Yes,” Cat said proudly, “and it looks great on you, Sandy.” She turned and stopped and allowed everyone else to pick up two or three sandwiches a piece. Placing three on Cass’s plate and two on her own, she took the emptied tray back to the kitchen.

  Cass came over with two huge platters of hot sweet potato fries, which brought a collective smile from everyone. He placed one in front of Sandy’s plate and the other in front of Gil’s plate. He’d added thick dill pickles, sliced, on the side of each person’s plate. A big bowl of potato salad filled out the lunch menu for everyone. He took off his pink ruffled apron and dropped it on the counter. Coming around to his chair, he took it and sat down at the kitchen table.

  “Grab a bunch,” he told Sandy. “Sweet potatoes will put more weight on you faster than anything else.”

  Sandy smiled a little. “You’re such a tough guy, Cass. What are you going to do if I don’t eat ten handfuls of them?”

  He gave her a grin. “Oh, that’s a surprise.”

  Cat tittered. “Sandy, I’d watch out for him. He’s always been a man of his word.”

  Kai saw Sandy’s cheeks pink up. They did every time Cass became a little intimate with her, always chiding and teasing her into eating a little bit more. Sandy was responding wonderfully to his support. The longer Kai saw Cass working with Sandy, the more she thought that genuine care and love could pull a person out of their funk.

  Cat had said Sandy suffered for years from depression, but since Talon had come home, and now with Cass caring for her, the symptoms had disappeared. Love was a powerful antidote. She risked a glimpse to her right, where Gil sat hungrily eating one of his three sandwiches.

  He had shaved this morning, but already by noon, his face had darkened, giving him a more intense look. It only made him that much more appealing to her womanly side. Paying attention to her sandwich, she listened to the quiet chatter around the table. This was a happy group. And she loved watching Talon and Cat because they were so much in love. Her heart stirred. She wanted Gil. Again. Despite their past. Despite him walking away from her. Kai was glad she would have some precious private time alone with him. It just wasn’t available at the ranch like she wished.

  *

  KAI SETTLED INTO the booth at Mo’s. The waitress had just brought them two cups of coffee, and Gil had ordered two thick slices of apple pie with three huge dollops of vanilla ice cream. He sat opposite of her and he had set his Stetson beside him on the seat. It was two in the afternoon and the place was filled with tourists from around the world.

  Maybe the tourists stared at Gil because he truly looked like an iconic cowboy from the Wild West. He wore a blue chambray shirt, black leather vest and a red neckerchief around his strong, thick neck. Gil walked with a confidence Kai knew only an operator could carry off.

  She saw a number of patrons stop eating and look up as he passed by their tables. He radiated a masculinity she had never seen so strongly in any other man. Not even Sam. She sipped her coffee, watching Gil dig into the pie and ice cream. She had one scoop of ice cream on her apple pie.

  “There’s no secrets to you,” she said, and laughed quietly, pointing to his dish of pie.

  “Hey,” he murmured between bites, “I’m a happy man.”

  Kai could see it. Since she had kissed Gil, he’d remained completely readable to her. No more game face. No hiding. Her heart pulsed in her chest and she felt happiness thrumming through her. “I’m glad we have this time,” she began, the cup warm between her hands. “So much is happening so fast, Gil.”

  He hesitated and wiped his mouth with the paper napkin, setting it aside. “That’s what I thought. I could feel you retreating.”

  Kai licked her lower lip. “I got scared. I admit it. I liked kissing you, no question.”

  “But?” He dug into her gray gaze. He could see that tension back in her expression.

  “I’m trying to untangle the past. I know you said that chapter is closed, but there’s parts of it that aren’t finished or closed for me.”

  “Like what?”

  Taking a deep breath, Kai knew she had to be completely honest with Gil. “I’m afraid that if I allow myself to like you, you’ll walk away from me again.” She saw him sit up as he digested her worry. “I know you gave me an explanation of why you did what you did, but it hurt, Gil. It hurt me so badly, you’ll never know how much.” He frowned and she saw his eyes grow sad.

  “I could have handled that situation a lot better than I did,” he admitted, his voice low with regret. “And I see the damage I did to you, Kai. And I understand it’s no longer a matter anymore of me apologizing for my actions.”

  “No, it’s not,” she whispered, pained.

  “It’s about me holding myself accountable to you. You need to see that I won’t walk off and leave you again. I get that. And I’m going to do everything in my power to prove to you that I’m reliable. That I would never do that to you ever again.”

  The gruff sincerity in his voice, the barely held feelings in them, made Kai feel so hungry for Gil. “I don’t know why I kissed you when I did,” she offered, shrugging. “It was like before. You showed up and I just caved in to you. It’s as if being around you is like having dessert offered to me.” She managed a wan smile, holding his narrowed gaze.

  “At least I’m dessert.”

  She grinned with him. “You always were.” Sighing, she whispered, “I’ve been looking back to the time Sam introduced us. Even then, I realize now, I had been drawn to you. But I was so in love with Sam, I just didn’t get it.”

  “You shouldn’t have, Kai. You loved Sam and that is where your heart and focus had to be.”

  She tilted her head. “I always felt this warm care coming off you when you came home and vi
sited us. Was I imaging it, Gil?”

  “No. I always cared for you, Kai.”

  Frowning, she asked, “Because I was Sam’s wife?”

  He moved uncomfortably, pushing the nearly empty pie plate aside. “If I told you it was more than that, how would you react, Kai?” he said, and somberly held her gaze.

  Sitting back, Kai felt her emotions suddenly roiling within her. “I—I don’t know, Gil. I always thought you cared for me because I was another operator’s woman, later, his wife.”

  “I did,” he reassured her. Shrugging, he sipped his coffee and said, “But over time, I began to like you for you. Not because you were Sam’s wife. I always looked forward to coming over and I enjoyed seeing both of you, not just Sam.”

  Giving him a concerned look, she said, “I never realized that…”

  “I couldn’t tell you for obvious reasons. I loved Sam like a brother, Kai. I would never have done anything to create problems in his marriage with you.”

  Staring in disbelief, Kai tried to put his admittance together, remembering how warm and teasing Gil had always been with her. She had treated it as if he was a long-lost brother and she, his little sister. Sam had been fine with the relationship Gil had with her. But when she looked deep into his blue eyes, she found something else, an emotion she couldn’t translate. Instinctively, she knew it had to do with her. “I guess,” she admitted, “I didn’t know.”

  “As it should have been,” Gil reassured her. “Sam loved you with everything he had. And you loved him.”

  “I did,” Kai admitted. She took a deep breath and said, “When you came over to my barracks at Bagram, right after Rob had been killed, it was because of how you felt toward me from before?” She saw Gil’s expression change and her heart thudded.

  “When Rob died in that firefight, the only person I wanted to turn to was you, Kai,” he admitted in a roughened tone, holding her questioning gaze.