Dance With A Gunfighter
Page 29
"Murdock is dead," he added. "Thought you’d want to know."
She heard the emptiness of his words, saw the aching loss in his eyes, the silent accusation. "I didn’t know about the baby, Jess."
His eyes flashed surprise and, she was sure, skepticism.
"God help me, it’s true," she pleaded. "If I’d known...I would have wanted your baby," she whispered.
He shut his eyes a moment, his back stiff. "I would have wanted it, too." She heard the wrenching pain in his voice. No words could have filled her heart more, or have given her more despair.
"Forgive me, please," she cried. She waited, silently praying, but he didn’t answer.
"I’ll leave now," he said finally. "It’s been a long four days, Gabe. You need to rest." He turned to go, his back to her when he added, "You were right, by the way."
"Wait! What do you mean?"
He faced her, his voice harsh. "There’s only one left. Will Tanner. I’m going to find him, and kill him."
"I don’t want you to do that for me!"
His eyes were frightening. She had never seen them so cold or so dead. They were the eyes of a gunfighter--and she’d done this to him. Brought him to this, again. "When you’re able to travel, I’ll see you back home to Jackson," he said, his voice emotionless.
"Don’t do it, please," she cried. Dry, tearless, wracking sobs broke from deep within her. "I can’t lose you, too. Not you, Jess!"
The color of his eyes seemed to deepen as she watched him turn to leave. He stopped, and put his hand against the doorframe. His words, when he finally spoke, cut to her very soul. "I failed you, Gabe. Just as you did me. Seems neither one of us is right for the other. It’s about time we faced up to it."
o0o
McLowry walked quickly through the doctor’s home to the street. He didn’t think he’d ever forget the way she looked as he’d said those last words to her.
She was a mere shadow of herself, and her already large, waif-like brown eyes filled her small face. It hurt him to look at her, knowing she’d gone after Tanner and Murdock alone, knowing how badly he’d failed to protect her and their child, knowing how badly he’d failed as her man. He’d warned her not to care about him so much, not to put her faith in a drifter and a gunfighter. Why hadn’t she listened to his advice?
Now, in the end, he realized there was only one road for him to follow. A road that took him away from the one person left in the world who loved him, the one chance at happiness he had ever found. And lost.
For over a year he’d tried to avoid this confrontation. But somehow, he had suspected all along it would come to this. Even early on, a few years after the War when it all began to go bad, he knew deep in his soul that it would end this way.
Chapter 30
By late fall, the last of the pumpkins that McLowry had planted were ripe. Gabe sat with Chad on her front porch. She was removing the seeds for roasting when she saw two riders heading toward the ranch. She reached for her shotgun and laid it across her lap as she watched, trying to make out who they were.
As they rode closer, she saw that they were Indians--a man and a woman. They rode with their heads high, bodies erect. The man held a child in front of him, and the woman had a cradleboard hanging over one side of the saddle.
Gabe ran to meet them. "Kaiya, Manolo...what’s happened? Why are you here?"
Manolo got off his horse, then lifted off his daughter before handing Gabe a folded piece of paper. "McLowry," was all he said.
The name cut through her heart. She murmured thanks, her hands shaking as she unfolded the paper. It was letter.
Dear Gabe,
Black Cloud has been put in prison and Nahtuyah is dead. Many people are dying at the San Carlos reservation. Manolo and his family escaped. I told him you might have work for him, maybe a place for them to live--for a little while, at least.
Take care of yourself, little one.
McLowry
Little one...he used to call her that back in the days when he loved her. Could his heart have softened, a little at least? Just seeing his handwriting, reading his words, holding the paper he’d held, both warmed her and made her shiver with loneliness.
She read again his words about what had happened to Black Cloud and Nahtuyah. Although she couldn’t admit to feeling bad about Nahtuyah, she was sorry to think of Black Cloud behind bars. He’d been very good to her and McLowry. She had promised she would tell people that, and she had sent letters to the Army. She would have liked to believe her letters were why he wasn’t killed outright when captured, though the possibility of that was remote. Now, she had to see what she could do about freeing him. She’d start with letters to the governor of the territory and the army. Maybe even the President. Chad could help her. He might even do a newspaper story or a penny-dreadful on Black Cloud and how he had spared her life. That kind of publicity, Gabe knew, created the kind of pressure that might free Black Cloud a lot sooner than might happen otherwise.
Slowly, she folded the letter and put it in her trouser pocket. "Thank you," she whispered to Manolo. He nodded. As Kaiya dismounted, Gabe lifted the baby from the cradleboard. She held the little fellow against her shoulder, rubbing his small back and breathing in his sweet baby scent. Waves of loneliness and loss washed over her. She remembered how she’d watched Kaiya’s stomach expand with him last winter. Now, winter was fast approaching once again, and sometime in the spring she might have had her own...she forced herself to stop such thoughts. Too much despair lay in that, and too many regrets.
"What a big, handsome boy he is," she murmured. Then she turned to the family and welcomed them, giving a special smile to the little girl hugging her father’s leg. "You must be hungry," she said finally. "Let’s go get something to eat."
Although they barely understood her words, she could see they understood her welcome. With a nod, they followed her to the front porch where she introduced them to Chad.
After lunch she showed them to a spot near a thicket of paloverde so close together rabbits could scarcely squeeze between them. On the far side, they could pitch a tent and live in privacy. Building a wickiup might cause some consternation if any neighbors happened to see it, but if they wanted to, it was all right with her.
"Apaches, Gabe?" Chad said as soon as they were alone. "Are you crazy? The people of Jackson have been good to you--watching over you and me, and the ranch, through all this. They were upset enough back when you had a gunfighter working for you, and they shake their heads over you writing to the Army to go easy on that murdering Black Cloud. But when they hear you’re sheltering escaped Indians, that might be too much. It could turn them against you."
Gabe didn’t miss a beat as she looked through her yard cloth to come up with something to make a new dress for Kaiya. The calico she wore was little better than rags. She remembered how Kaiya had clothed and fed her when she was alone and scared. "The townsfolk have been kind. But Kaiya is my friend. She helped me through a terrible time. I was alone and frightened, and I don’t know what I would have done were it not for her gentleness and cheerfulness. Now she and her family need my help. I can’t turn them away."
"Some Apache are killing settlers not far from Susan’s home," Chad said. "Johnny Henderson’s regiment is heading out near Safford to try to capture some trouble-makers over that way. To the townfolk, they’re the enemy."
"Anybody who tries to hurt them will have to get past me first."
Chad shook his head. "You know they won’t do that. They’re worried about you out here alone."
"You’re here."
"Yeah, a lot of help I am to you."
"You are a help. And Manolo and Kaiya will be a tremendous help."
"You are the most stubborn woman!"
"Look at this place. I need Manolo now that McLowry’s gone. And Kaiya can help me make enough butter and cheeses to sell in town."
"McLowry might come back," Chad said.
She turned back to the yard cloth. "No."
She thought of Jess out there, somewhere, trying to find Tanner. "In his way, he still is," she said.
Chad sighed with resignation, and said goodnight.
o0o
One night, loud squawks and cries from the hen house woke Gabe with a start. She grabbed her rifle and ran outdoors, to find that Manolo had already reached it. A coyote mother and her cubs scampered towards the open desert. The full moon made them an easy target. Manolo lifted his rifle.
"No!" Gabe said. "Let them go. I like listening to their night songs."
Manolo shook his head and went to repair the chicken coop--the coyotes had dug under the fence to get inside.
One of the cubs had lagged behind the others, and when they disappeared into the night, the cub stumbled then lay down as if dead.
Gabe ran toward it. It was a little thing, a male, his nose still squashed flat like a newborn’s, and his body chubby and soft from mother’s milk. She saw that he still breathed, but his eyes were shut. As she stood there, he opened his eyes, and tried to get up, then lay back down with a whimper.
"What is it, little fellow?" she whispered soothingly. One paw was swollen twice its normal size, and the pad looked inflamed. The cub cried out as she touched it. Peering closer, she saw that it was badly infected. "Looks like we’re going to have to get you inside to fix that up," she said, trying to calm him by gentle pats. The cub was too sick to do more than pay her scant attention, and she picked him up and carried him into the house.
Kaiya came running to see what Gabe was carrying.
"Come inside with me, we’ve got a sick pup here," Gabe said.
Kaiya looked back at Manolo and both shrugged in disbelief.
Gabe put the whimpering cub on the kitchen table, got some bandages, iodine and hot water. As she washed the foulness from the paw, she spotted a cactus needle embedded in the pad. Chad held the snarling cub down as Gabe took hold of the thorn and began to pull. It was incredibly long, sharp and hard. The pain must have been excruciating. With Chad and Kaiya’s help, Gabe lanced, cleaned then bandaged the paw as best she could.
As Gabe worked, Kaiya told her that in Indian legend, the coyote was a trickster. He was born before the start of creation, both the oldest enemy of man, and man’s friend. His stories have both wisdom and humor, and he teaches us to laugh at ourselves.
That was good, Gabe thought. She could use some laughter, and some wisdom. She made up a bed of old blankets and cloths in a corner of her bedroom, and lay the cub down. Poor little guy had passed out between the pain and being handled in a way he couldn’t begin to understand. She decided to call him Thorn.
o0o
Gabe and Chad managed to keep Manolo and Kaiya’s existence unknown to the townspeople for over two months. During that time, they’d even managed to celebrate Christmas together. Gabe put up a little juniper tree that she’d decorated with red ribbons and candies. She did it for Chad and for Kaiya and Manolo’s daughter, as well as for herself. She wanted to have a real Christmas to celebrate the joy of life. It was hard, though. Very hard.
One January morning, the owner of the neighboring ranch, John Whitney, came to visit with three of his men riding with him.
Gabe stepped out of the house, her rifle in hand.
"Hey there, Gabe," Whitney said.
"Hello, Mr. Whitney. This is a rare treat. How are things at the Triple X?"
"Could be better."
"Want to come in out of the cold and tell me about it? I’ve got coffee."
"This isn’t a friendly visit, Gabe. I’m here because of stories some of the boys have been telling me. They’ve been out on the range, near your cattle, and they’ve seen an Indian out there tending them. I told them it couldn’t be. We don’t let Indians on our land around here. But they insisted. So, I thought I’d come over here. You can tell me how they’re wrong, and what’s really going on."
"I have two friends living on my property, helping me with my cattle. Last year, they saved my life. I owe them, and I like them."
"They’re Indians."
"They’re friends first. This is my property, Whitney. I can have whomever I want here with me. And those I don’t want, I run off."
His jaw tightened. "You’re making a mistake, Gabe. What you’re doing isn’t smart. It’ll cut you off from the town, from the people you need."
"Won’t be the first time, Whitney. Probably not the last, either."
He pointed at her, his eyes flinty. "They’re your responsibility. Just make sure you keep them in line."
She crossed her rifle in front of her, holding the stock in one hand, resting the barrel on the crook of her arm. "I have no worries on that score, Whitney. Just make sure you do the same with your men. I don’t want them where they might cause trouble, or get hurt."
He stared hard at her, and she stared right back, unflinching. Finally, he turned and rode away, his men behind him.
Gabe turned back to the house to find Kaiya standing in the doorway. The woman’s black eyes were frightened as she gazed at the riders, but filled with gratitude as she looked back at Gabe. Gabe realized that Kaiya had understood, despite her smattering of English.
"I’m sorry," Gabe said.
Kaiya shook her head, then patted Gabe’s shoulder.
o0o
The days grew colder.
One night, Chad sat in his wheelchair, Gabe on a rocker, enjoying the warmth of the fireplace. Chad reached over and took her hand in his. "I’ve decided to leave Jackson," he said.
She nodded, her throat thick and aching. She had expected that this decision was coming--she’d seen the letters and telegrams back and forth between Chad and the facility in Denver where he’d gone after his operation. Robert Weylach, the owner of the home, had written to Chad often over the months. Clearly, he realized that within the depressed, silent young man who’d come to him months ago, there was a highly intelligent person who, with a little help, could truly make something of himself.
When Chad expressed a wish to study law--to do the kind of work in which his wheelchair-bound existence wouldn’t hold him back--Weylach had offered to help. He had connections with colleges and special work-study programs and convinced the University of Colorado to take Chad on, and to give him a position at the school library to help pay tuition. Weylach would allow Chad to live at the home until such time as Chad was able to afford better accommodations. It had all come together.
"How soon?" she asked.
"Next week."
Chad had written to Susan Flint and told her what he was thinking about doing. Today, he’d received her answer encouraging him, and reminding him not to forget about her when he was in Denver with all those beautiful big-city women. He told Gabe about Susan’s letter. "She’s just a child, Gabe. It’s madness for me to care what she says or thinks or feels."
"When she’s eighteen, you’ll be twenty-four--and well on your way to becoming a lawyer. That’s when you need to really worry about what she says or thinks or feels. Just promise yourself one thing," she said.
"What’s that?" he asked, curious.
"That if you do meet some big-city woman and you think you’re in love with her, wait. Give Susan a chance. That’s all she’s asking for--for you to wait until she’s grown up, and for the two of you to meet again at that time. From what I’ve seen of that girl’s heart and her mettle, I think that if you don’t wait, it might be the biggest mistake of your life."
Gabe could almost see him thinking back to the days Susan had spent on the ranch with him. Slowly, a grin spread over his face. "What’s two years? Besides, I’ll be too busy studying to pay attention to anyone else."
The two laughed, but then his eyes turned serious. "What about you, sis? Do you really want to stay out here, with just Kaiya and Manolo and their kids? What about your own life, your own family?"
"This is home. I don’t want to leave."
"Are you happy?"
She looked over her land and smiled, her eyes full of love as she turned to her brother. "I’ll abide."
He nodded. "You don’t have to say it. You love McLowry, and he’s all you can think about. Say, weren’t you only sixteen or seventeen when you first met him? Like Susan?" Then he shook away the thought and turned his twinkling eyes on her. "You moped around here like a sick puppy for days after that."
"I did not!"
"I’m afraid you’re wrong there, sis," Chad said. "But now I’m worried about you. I wasn’t going to say anything until more time had passed, to give you time to forget about him. With me leaving, though, I’ve got to tell you what I feel."
She shut her eyes, not wanting to hear.
"He was a gunfighter," Chad said. "I thought he’d given that up--he had me fooled when he was on the ranch. But I see now that he can’t settle down. I don’t want you to waste your life waiting for him to change. I don’t think he can. He won’t be back, Gabe."
His words were like a physical blow. "I know he won’t."
He held her hand. "You’ve got to forget about him."
She shook her head. "I can’t." There were things she would never tell Chad--how she had lost their baby, and how, because of her, Jess had returned to the life he loathed and was once again hunting a man.
Chad stared at her. "I love you, little sister. Come with me to Denver. Start over, meet new people, new friends. It’ll be best."
Her heart was heavy. "This is home."
"I don’t want to think of you here wasting your life, pining for a man who doesn’t care enough to be with you."
She stared down the long road that led to the house. The old flappy-tongued saguaro was just a fuzzy haze on the horizon. "Maybe he’s not here because he cares too much."
"That doesn’t make any sense! Come with me, Gabe. I don’t want to leave you. Maybe I shouldn’t go either, I don’t know."
Her eyes flashed. "Don’t you ever say anything like that, Chad Devere! Don’t you dare. I’m so proud of the opportunity you’ve been given, and the brain in that hard head of yours that got you there, why, I can hardly sit still for wanting to hug you all the time! You go on up to Denver." She stared at him a long time, her chest full and aching. "Tell you what, I’ll promise to come visit after you’ve been up there a while. After you get your studies underway, and life has settled down enough to grow routine and a little bit boring. That’s when I’ll come up and disrupt everything for you, okay?"