Jennifer's Outlaw

by Karen Anders

  “Then I suppose you’ll have to give me one tonight,” Ellie stated firmly. Then she gave him the cutest, most mischievous smile that had him responding with a slow smile of his own. A kindred spirit in a small child? He would have never guessed.

  Hell, it would be too easy to let himself slip into this little family, into that woman who chuckled and turned away. But he couldn’t because of the dark fear that lurked in his subconscious.

  He smiled a very wicked grin and watched the amusement filter out of Jennifer’s eyes at his next words. “Only if your Mom agrees to a ride, too.” The amusement in Jennifer’s eyes was replaced with a longing, a deep hunger that lasted for a split second. It was enough to twist his insides, nevertheless.

  “Will you, Mom?” Ellie said with a soft wheedling tone.

  Corey could easily see what a monumental task Jennifer had in bringing up this child alone. Once again he thought about Ellie’s father and wondered at his absence. Hell, it was none of his damn business. She wore no ring on her finger, but these days that meant absolutely nothing.

  “Yeah, come on, Mom,” he said, using the same soft wheedling inflection.

  Jennifer took a deep breath and looked at him. “As long as it’s after dinner.”

  “What’s your favorite subject?” he asked Ellie, her eyes so intent on him it was almost unnerving.

  “Lunch. What’s yours?” she quipped.

  “I’m not in school anymore.”

  “What? Does it actually end?” Her voice rose in mock surprise.

  He looked at Jennifer with upraised eyebrows. “Precocious was putting it mildly.”

  Ellie leaned forward and cocked her head. “You do look a little bit dangerous. I think it’s the five o’clock shadow.”

  The spoon Jennifer had been stirring the chicken and dumplings with dropped from her suddenly nerveless hand. The loud clattering broke the sudden pregnant silence. She whirled, her hands flying to her hips. “Ellie!” An embarrassed flush swept over Jennifer’s face and she could feel the heat of it travel right to the roots of her hair.

  Ellie had the intelligence to look abashed and kept her mouth closed.

  Smart girl, Corey thought.

  Though he would like to thank Ellie for riling her mother up. Jennifer looked beautiful angry. Her eyes flashed and her blush was sweet, unassuming. He liked that. He was beginning to like her and her daughter a lot. He could see the apology on her lips, but he beat her to the punch. “Dangerous good or dangerous bad?”

  The husky way he said it had Jennifer’s face flaming. “Ellie, please take Two Tone outside and feed him and then finish setting the table.”

  “Yes, Mother,” she said with a world-weary sigh, and rolled her eyes.

  “Does ‘grounded for the rest of your life’ mean anything to you, miss?” Jennifer said in her best mother’s voice.

  Ellie escaped like a scampering fox being chased by a hound. But before she disappeared into the dining room, she winked at Corey and he couldn’t suppress a chuckle. He might as well admit it to himself. He was thoroughly charmed.

  Jennifer let her hands fall in exasperation. She walked over to the table and sat down in the chair that Ellie had just vacated. “You see what I’m up against?”

  “Don’t try to weasel out of an answer by changing the subject, Jennifer.”

  “Caught that, huh?” He was enjoying himself, she thought suddenly and looked away. “You look like an outlaw.”

  “So is that good or bad?” he persisted, his dark eyebrows rising.

  “Like Ellie said, I think it’s the five o’clock shadow.”

  He rubbed his fingers over the stubble on his face. “You don’t like it?”

  “No, it’s very sexy,” she said as reassurance, then clamped her hand over her mouth. Corey smiled, then leaned back in the chair.

  “I guess that means dangerous good. It’s okay, darlin’. I think you’re sexy, too.” He leaned forward.

  Jennifer had to stop this conversation right now. With a flash of acknowledgment in her eyes for his teasing, she said abruptly, “It’s time to eat.”

  “Coward.”

  That was okay. She’d be a coward, because he not only looked dangerously desperate but he was dangerous, and she hadn’t realized just how desperate she’d become in a few short hours. Desperation for something that couldn’t happen. Desperation for a man who couldn’t stay.

  He exuded a raw sexuality that she would notice even in a crowded, smoky, noisy bar. His flirting would be so easy to reciprocate. “No,” she finally replied. “Just smart.” She couldn’t encourage him. “You’re the one leaving, after all.” She smiled to lessen the sting of her words.

  The barb struck home and Corey sobered. “Yeah, right. Smart is the watchword.”

  She could feel his eyes on her as she dished out the chicken and dumplings, and she quickly changed the subject. “I hope you’re hungry. I think I made enough for an army.” Turning with the serving dish, she met those hot, thick-lashed eyes and her breath got trapped in her lungs.

  He got up quickly and took the bowl out of her hands. Their fingers brushed and Jennifer quickly pulled her hands away. “I’ll get the vegetables,” she said.

  He disappeared into the dining room. His voice drifted out to her as he conversed with Ellie. A fluttering weakness washed through her, draining her will away. She could probably entice him to stay, if only for a short time. Tears pricked the back of her eyes. Why him? Why couldn’t it have been someone stable, someone safe?

  Realizing she was standing in the middle of the kitchen floor holding two steaming bowls of vegetables, she made her body heel. Taking two deep shuddering breaths to calm herself, she proceeded into the dining room.

  “I’m not that fast, but I’m working on it,” Ellie was saying.

  “Barrel racing is more than just speed, Ellie. It’s knowing how to read your horse, how to maneuver, how to handle the pressure.”

  Jennifer was surprised at the serious tone Corey used. Warmth curled around her heart to know that he was interested in her daughter’s passion. “Don’t let her get you going on barrel racing. She’ll never let you alone.”

  “Oh, Mom,” Ellie said, wrinkling her pert little nose.

  “Don’t ‘Oh Mom’ me.” Jennifer set the bowls down on the table. Suddenly Corey was there pulling out her chair for her. Jennifer’s amazement showed on her face.

  “So what do you think of my mom? Want to date her?” Ellie asked the question as if she were asking him if it was raining.

  “Ellie!” She looked over her shoulder and met Corey’s peacock-green eyes. Her face flushed to the roots of her hair.

  “Ellie, a man would have to be a fool not to want to date your mom. And I’m no fool. But I don’t think I’m your mom’s type.”

  Jennifer couldn’t speak she was so embarrassed.

  “Sit down, Jennifer, or the food will get cold,” he said with amusement so close to her ear his warm breath feathered the sensitive shell, raising goose bumps on her flesh. Jennifer plopped into the chair. As he scooted the chair forward, he whispered in her ear so softly that Ellie couldn’t hear, “You look beautiful tonight, Jennifer.” His hand brushed her shoulder before he walked back around the table and sat down.

  “He held my chair too, Mom. Isn’t that nice?”

  “It’s surprising, that’s for sure.” Her voice came out hoarse and she cleared her throat before going on. “I didn’t think there were any gentlemen left in the world.”

  He looked up from dishing out his chicken and dumplings. “It’s not every day that a gentleman meets ladies worthy of gentlemanly conduct.”

  His hot, possessive eyes held hers. The look made her insides turn to honey and her pulse stuttered a beat. It was not a gentlemanly look at all.

  Jennifer stared down at her plate and concentrated on the white china. Dear God, it would almost be worth a one-night stand to explore what this man had to offer.

  Passion, a little reckless voice
whispered. Real live honest-to-God passion. But she wasn’t a reckless woman anymore. Somehow she’d lost that verve for life somewhere through the years.

  Jennifer remained relatively quiet most of the meal and watched her daughter interact with Corey. Ellie, for all her mischievousness, was not that comfortable around men she didn’t know, yet she took to arguing with-Corey about the best way to maneuver a horse around barrels as though he was a longtime friend. She laughed with him and teased him and he teased her right back.

  Jennifer felt vulnerable for the first time in thirteen years and it frightened her. She didn’t know if it was good or bad, but she wouldn’t get the chance to find out. She had to accept that he was leaving right after this meal and she would never see him again.

  That thought made her want to cry. She should have been smart in town and never invited him. Then she wouldn’t have to live with the memory of his loneliness and the knowledge that this little dinner had affected him so much. She still remembered his reaction when she had invited him.

  Yet she still got angry because she wanted something that wasn’t possible.

  Corey turned his attention to Jennifer when Ellie excused herself to go to the bathroom. “You’re pretty quiet, Jennifer. Don’t you have any questions of your own?”

  Jennifer shrugged and toyed with the pie left on her plate. “It seems moot to ask you about anything when you’re leaving town.” She knew she sounded sullen and petulant and she shifted in her chair hating this feeling inside her.

  “You knew I was just passing through, Jenny. I told you, so.”

  His voice was apologetic and somehow wistful, and she felt shame for her bad behavior. “I’m sorry. It was meanspirited of me to make that comment. You’re a guest and I’m not a very good hostess.”

  He got up from his chair and went to the window. “You’re a fine hostess. I understand exactly where you’re coming from, darlin’. Believe me, if I—” He cut off his words as Ellie came back into the room.

  “Corey, are you a rodeo rider?” Ellie asked abruptly.

  Corey turned from the window at the sudden suspicion in Ellie’s voice as if she’d just discovered something that she hadn’t realized before. “I was. I’m not anymore.” He was surprised at the bitterness in his voice. He noticed how Ellie seemed a little rigid and wary of him and, to his utter surprise, it hurt.

  Ellie glanced at her mother and they both seemed to knot up as if his presence in the room had been somehow offensive.

  Damn. To diffuse the tension, he moved from the window and grabbed Ellie’s hand. “How about that ride I promised you?”

  Ellie looked at her mother, her eyes bruised with the kind of pain that Corey knew so damn well. He sucked in his breath, suddenly wanting to take the little girl in his arms and show her that the world wasn’t as cruel and disappointing as her look suggested. He closed his eyes against the rush of memories. His throat constricted. Her father had left her, he realized now. She hadn’t just lost him to death. She had never known him, and the sudden burst of pain and sympathy settled in his chest like a time bomb ready to go off later, when he had time for the rage and hopelessness.

  At times he wished he’d never known his father.

  Jennifer watched Corey’s face and wondered all over again if he had been hurt and by whom. She ached because it seemed apparent that not one person in this world had ever shown him kindness. She wanted to be that person. Oh God, if only things could be different.

  She shook herself out of her introspection. “That sounds great. Doesn’t it, honey?”

  Jennifer’s too-bright voice had Ellie smiling. “Yeah, let’s boogie.” Ellie tightened her hand in Corey’s.

  A few minutes later, Jennifer stood in the driveway watching Corey carefully maneuver the bike so as not to pose a danger to her daughter. Her emotions were raw and unpredictable since this man had stepped into her life this morning.

  To be so attracted to a man who was everything she vowed she would never get involved with again was daunting. Yet she couldn’t seem to help herself. Her body reacted every time she saw him. And when he got close to her, he was like a magnet and she was the crazily spinning compass wheel.

  Trying to will away the thick knot in her throat, she put a smile on her face as they roared from the driveway. Minutes later they returned.

  “Your turn, Mom,” Ellie said, getting off the bike and going to sit down on the stairs to the kitchen.

  Corey waited. She could feel his presence in the pores of her skin, so keen was her awareness. She thought about how close she would have to get to him on that machine and almost made an excuse.

  But that wild, reckless part of her that had been her ruler when she was a teen resurged and she was suddenly caught in its devilish grip. Before she could change her mind, she settled on the bike.

  “Put your arms around my waist and scoot forward more.” Jennifer swallowed at the husky tint to his voice and did as he instructed. Desire grew warm and heavy in her stomach as she snuggled up against his backside, her thighs running along his.

  “Tighten your legs, darlin’.” His voice was now thicker and insistent.

  This was how he would sound when he was making love, she thought. His voice soft and unwavering. She hesitated, then did as he asked. She felt the tautness in his back as she allowed her body to mold to his. Oh God, she thought suddenly, this was a bad idea.

  The motorcycle flared to life and surged forward. The velvet night surrounded her, and the roar of the engine thrummed through her with powerful vibrations, charging her blood. She felt like a butterfly being released from its cocoon. A surge of adrenaline made her laugh out loud as the wind whipped his hair against her face. The sensation stung, but was welcome. It seemed that after thirteen years of numbness she was finally beginning to feel. The hot imprint of his powerful male body beneath her breasts was as heady as wine and she had never felt more alive then she did now.

  She relished the feel of being close to a man again. It had been so long, so very long. She cursed the feeling, as well. It reminded her that she was a woman with needs. Needs denied for a long time.

  This ride brought back memories of Billy Joe Williams and that wild ride after the prom. Even dressed in a floorlength skirt, she had been more than willing to drive up to Sunset Meadow and neck with him. She’d hiked up her dress and tucked it around her legs and taken off with him on his motorcycle.

  Her father had grounded her for a week. He was furious when she came home at three o’clock in the morning, when her curfew had been midnight.

  She had tried to explain to her father how she felt. Wild, free, untamed, as if the world were her oyster. Her father hadn’t understood. No one but bad boys understood how she felt.

  She hadn’t given Billy Joe anything that night except her lips. She had saved her virginity for her husband. That thought brought back memories of her crazy attraction to Sonny Braxton.

  The summer she had been seventeen the rodeo had come to town and everyone was so excited. Everyone including her. She had gone down to check things out and had fallen head over heels in love with a brash, brave bronc rider named Sonny.

  He was at the top then, full of his oats and no boy. He’d taken one look at her and easily wooed her into marriage, then his bed, and finally impregnated her with Ellie.

  Six months pregnant and just barely eighteen, Jennifer had walked into their trailer and found him in bed with a trick rider. She had gone home to her parents, had the baby alone and then gone to college.

  She’d never seen nor heard from Sonny again.

  It had been difficult and painful. And now this man in front of her was from the rodeo, too. Well, she’d learned her lesson, and she would not be seduced by the power of a pair of turquoise eyes. She stiffened and yelled in his ear, “Enough.”

  Jennifer’s nearness made his whole body ache. The feel of her against his back was like heaven and hell. He could feel the softness of her breasts, was acutely aware of her arms around his
waist, was branded where her thighs joined his.

  When he felt her stiffen, he realized that the ride was over and headed back to the house. A sense of helplessness stole over him. How could he ask her to live with his fear? The constant unrelenting fear that underlay his very actions. His life was defined by that fear. How could he change the path of his life now? How could he become the man she needed and wanted? The simple answer was he couldn’t.

  Back at the house, they went into the dining room and talked about benign things. Politics, the weather, the ranch—anything personal was avoided. In the midst of the conversation, Ellie dropped off to sleep.

  Corey looked at his watch and Jennifer felt a flutter of panic, realizing he was going to suggest that it was time that he leave.

  “It’s midnight, Jennifer. I should go.” He glanced at Ellie, his face softening. “Want me to take her up for you?”

  “Yes. Thanks. She’s getting too big for me to carry her.” She pushed back her chair and gently smoothed her fingers through Ellie’s bangs.

  Corey’s body tightened. What he would give for her to touch him like that with that look on her face. He rose from his chair and gathered the child in his arms. Her weight was nothing, her body soft in sleep. With a murmur, Ellie turned toward him and slipped her arms around his neck. Emotion tightened his throat and chest. A powerful longing for a life he had denied himself a long time ago surged up in him with a fierceness that had him breathless.

  Jennifer led the way and he watched the elegant way she moved, the soft sway of her hips as she climbed the stairs. Corey got a glimpse of the beautiful house decorated in tasteful southwestern designs. Colorful Navajo rugs covered the hardwood floors, and dun-colored pottery adorned oak tables.

  Ellie’s room was typical for a girl her age. A bedspread decorated with horses lay on a canopy bed; matching curtains hung at the windows. He laid her down on the bed where Jennifer had pulled the top blankets away. She came around him and pulled off Ellie’s boots and covered her.