She felt like a teenager torn in two opposite and painful directions of her catastrophic emotions with only one outcome: her broken heart.
As Cece ordered one coffee, passing on hers because she needed to get some shut-eye, she gripped the warm cup and knew why the knowledge of Avery’s true feelings for Ems had affected her so. Even if she hadn’t planned on pursuing any actions with Avery at this present moment, the possibility that something could ever develop between them, had been shattered. It felt...heartbreaking.
Heartbreaking? Heartbreaking! You’ve known the guy for exactly two months and spent most of it avoiding him...and most of it replaying that one night over and over again. It was a glorious night.
Cece pushed open the door and a shadow beside her quickly shoved off the wall, startling her. Her breath caught in her chest.
Why she didn’t let Rob come with her? Did Rob see her? Did he see the person lurking in the shadow?
Cece jumped away, dropping the coffee on the cement walkway and ready to run toward the bus screaming and yelling for Rob. Then the shadow moved into the light and it was Avery.
Her heart slowed. She took a deep breath and released it along with the fear, then her heart picked up its pace again.
“I want to talk about the fight on the bus,” he said right away.
The bus? The bus!
Cece had been so relieved to see him, then excited, a reaction she was becoming accustomed too with Avery, that she forgot he was a liar. Cece Boyd didn’t want anything to do with liars.
Cece turned away from him. “Avery, there’s nothing to talk about.”
He caught up to her side, but didn’t touch her. She was grateful. His touch melted her strength. The real reason he didn’t touch you is his memory of your shrill scream in the games room. No one had touched her since that day, the day that ignited fear though her body experiencing the pain of what a human was capable of doing. She’d also mastered keeping everyone at arm’s length so they wouldn’t reach out and touch her. Funny, because he wasn’t touching her now, when she wanted to touch him so badly.
“Yes there is.”
“No, there’s not.”
Rob wasn’t waiting by the bus.
“There is your misconception of what that fight was about,” Avery continued.
Misconception of him was more like it.
Cece scoffed. “It was very clear what...no let me rephrase that...who you threw a fist for.”
“That’s where you’re wrong.” Avery sounded so sure of himself, she almost believed him. But not again.
This was Rusty all over again. I trust him. He defied me. I trust him. He defies me. I’m not doing it again!
“I’m not blind.”
“You must be if that’s who you think I threw a fist for...”
Cece stopped as they reached the back of the bus and turned to him, a fire burning in her eyes.
This had to end. Now.
“Stop Avery. I’ve seen how this goes down and I’m not letting you drag me into the middle of it.” Clarification needed to be dealt with before they reached the AJH. “You love Ems. Drew took her from you. You’re pissed at him and I get it and you’re stuck together and it sucks. I know. I’m sorry for you. But you’re trying to use me to forget her, because we are good in bed.”
“We were amazing and there was no bed involved.”
How could she forget? Don’t let him distract you.
“I can’t be that girl. Whether we sleep together or you pretend like you want to and me thinking one day we might, only to have you string me along like there’s actually something between us when there isn’t. I can’t be your rebound. I won’t be your rebound.”
I want to be more. I want to delve into these incredibly strong feelings that I’ve never had with anyone!
Avery reached for her. One hand grabbed her arm, pulling her to meet him in the middle and steadying her unexpected shocked stumble, while the other hand grabbed the side of her face. Before she had the opportunity to object, he covered her mouth with his. It wasn’t sweet, gentle or soft. It was a build up of desire crashing down hard, catching Cece’s startled gasp to pry open her lips.
Cece didn’t have a second to respond and he’d gathered her in his arms, dipping his warm tongue to search hers out. His other hand found the other side of her face so she wouldn’t pull away, but it was not required. As quickly as their tongues made contact, her soft body leaned into his and her hands gripped his bare arms, digging her nails into his flesh and pressing her body harder against him. The kiss deepened, digging more passion from both of them. She was lost in him, just like she feared she would be.
When Avery pulled away...yes it was him that broke the contact...Cece was still grasping his arms, forgetting they were outside by the bus and Rob was waiting. Forgetting Avery’s lying betrayal. Forgetting everything except her strong feelings for him.
Her panting breaths were loud and husky through the quiet empty parking lot, begging him for more. She didn’t want to release his arms, or move her body away from him; she only wanted to kiss him again. She wanted to do so much more than kiss.
Avery’s dark eyes were burning into her soul.
“This is the last time I am telling you,” his voice was grim, crucial. “I don’t love Emily Gordon. If you want to fight whatever is going on between us, you will not use Ems for the motive behind your decision.”
Avery let her go and stepped back, forcing her to break the contact and steady herself. Her fingers immediately missed his warm, soft touch. Her body missed being pressed against his and her face wanted him to grab her cheeks again and dip in for another round of hot and heavy kissing. She’d never kissed anyone so hot and heavy.
“I want to walk away dramatically leaving you to stand here shocked by my kiss and the truth I am telling you,” he said. “However, I promised Rob I would escort you back to the bus. So...” He waved his hand toward the bus.
Cece quickly walked in front of him to keep from reaching out for another kiss.
She climbed onto the bus. Rob was sitting in the driver’s seat. “Where my coffee?”
Chapter Eleven
AFTER THEY ARRIVED at the festival, in the early hours of the morning, there was no time to look around. Avery ate, showered and changed, as did the rest of the band preparing to meet Cece, Rob and Jones outside in the pitch dark morning to be whisked away in a limo to the radio station.
As Avery stepped off the bus, he zipped up the front of his grandfather’s worn, old brown leather jacket as the morning chill crept inside. Avery hadn’t known his grandfather, but since he slipped into his jacket back in July, after rummaging with Abby in their late Gran’s attic, good things had been coming his way. He met Cece, got a label deal and he was playing at the AJH in two days! This jacket was his good luck charm.
The AJH wouldn’t be alive until the following day, but Avery knew the layout from attending as a fan in previous years. Every year they changed the set up, resituated the eight stages, merchant tents, kiddyland, and beer tents that made for a fun old music festival.
What Avery hadn’t experienced was the thrill at being parked, and standing, behind the band gate. Tomorrow the fenced-in band and crew camping section would be protected by security guards and Avery was going to be able to walk on through. It felt awesome.
Avery didn’t see Cece and hadn’t seen her since they arrived.
A few steps away, wearing black long-sleeved shirts across their wide, toned, body-builder torsos, Rob and Jones stood chuckling amongst themselves.
“Hey guys.” Avery nodded at them as he closed in the few steps.
“Are we going to have anymore incidents?” Rob asked, slapping his shoulder with a squeeze, only half serious.
Avery liked these two men. They’d already met a few times before this trip and were assigned to Inch Away’s tour starting in the New Year. They were upfront and honest. It was refreshing after the Ems and Drew’s affair.
“I’m sorry
about that,” Avery said.
Jones shrugged. “Seen worse.”
“Could be worse this weekend,” Rob agreed.
“More than likely it will be worse after you get on that stage and then Cece makes you do the merch tent.”
“Merch” was short for merchandise, and after reading the itinerary, he knew there were a lot of merchandise slots where he was required to sell his own gear. Avery couldn’t wait. Standing with the band gear would be a great opportunity to mingle with fans.
“Won’t happen again,” Avery promised. Unless Drew takes another jab at Cece...sorry guys I have my standards.
Avery felt a small hand touch the back of his shoulder. He turned thinking it was Cece and was disappointed when he stared down at Ems.
Why would Cece touch his shoulder in front of everyone? Why would Ems? Did she want another fight to break out?
Where were Sean and Drew? Probably still getting ready.
Those two were worse than women when it came to getting pampered for an event. You could only style your hair for so long, and if all else failed, grab a fedora and move along.
“Avery, can I talk to you for a sec?” Ems asked.
He didn’t know what they had left to talk about. “Sure.”
Rob and Jones shared a look as they walked away. Avery turned away from Ems, crossing his fingers over his heart to them, mouthing, I promise not to cause another fight. They just chuckled and shook their heads. Yes, Avery was going to get along just fine with Rob and Jones on tour. But Drew...that was a different story.
Avery followed Ems to the front of the bus where they could speak in privacy. He leaned against it, crossed his ankles and his arms, while Ems stood in front of him, kicking the dirt with her brown cowboy boots. Over her small frame she wore ripped denim skinnies, a plaid button-up shirt which she left parted at the top, exposing her tattoos. Her blonde locks were tied in a side ponytail that hung over one shoulder of her short jean jacket. Ems said nothing, her concentration on the ground.
“You wanted to talk?” Avery pressed, more interested in finding Cece.
He’d lay in his bunk for the last couple hours of the drive, unable to sleep. Instead he’d been thinking about Cece, the kiss, and wondering what she was thinking.
Had that sensual, deep kiss proven to Cece that he no longer had feelings for Ems, leaving her craving more, like it did him? Did Cece want to pursue this incredible attraction between them? Was she thinking about him as much as he was thinking about her?
Avery was having difficulty thinking about anything else. In less than sixty minutes, they were going to be on three radio shows for a two hour span and Avery needed his full concentration to make those interviews successful. Without talking to Cece first, he didn’t see how that was possible.
Avery was prepared to fight Cece. Not physically fight her, like with Drew, but fight her objections, for them to be together. He believed they were worth fighting for. Cece was going to have her professional walls built back up and either she was going to think he was still madly in love with Ems...not the case at all...or the manager in her was going to pop out like a painful blister when working in a new pair of leather cowboy boots. Avery wanted to bypass the whole working it in part and go straight to the relaxed, comfortable, fitted outcome with Cece. He had a gut feeling, knowing Cece, that she was going to make it difficult.
Her insistence this morning that they needed to maintain a manager/client relationship, after trying to seduce him the night before, was proof that the bad blood between Rusty and Cece was affecting her judgment on the incredible relationship...incredible life...they could have together. Cece needed to let go of the reins holding back her true feelings for Avery and let them spill into her heart, like he had the night she’d admitted her true feelings for him. Then Cece would experience the deep, bottomless, multi-layered and meaningful feelings Avery had. They weren’t only that of pure lust...although his desire to scoop her up and find a private room to turn the tables and seduce her weren’t far from his mind either. He felt in-tune with Cece like the first time he’d picked up a guitar and strummed his amateur fingers across the strings. He just knew he was destined to be with that guitar forever...he knew he was destined to be with Cece Boyd, forever too.
They were meant to be together, it was that simple. Less simple than that, was finding privacy to talk to Cece, especially when Ems was dragging him away to...he had no idea because she was stalling.
He tucked his hands in the pocket of his jacket. Come on good luck charm. Send the right woman my way.
Finally Ems spoke. “I’m sorry about Drew. He can be such a jerk sometimes.” She still wasn’t looking at him.
Sometimes? Most of the time he was a big mouth jerk. Drew’s lack of control hadn’t bothered Avery before he stuck a knife in his back. The last thing Avery wanted to be talking about was Drew. “You don’t have to apologize on Drew’s behalf. I can take it.”
Ems looked up and in a serious tone said, “I know you can.” Her eyes fell back to the hole the toe of her boot was nervously digging into the ground.
“Is there something else?” he asked, but he knew the answer.
By the time she spit it out, he was going to miss his opportunity with Cece and have to play it cool for the next three hours! Maybe he should invite Cece out for breakfast afterwards. There wasn’t anything scheduled into the itinerary until the promotional AHJ ticket giveaways with the radio station at a local bar that evening. Maybe he should ask her out to dinner too. Breakfast and dinner. Breakfast to talk about them and dinner to have private time just for them.
“I didn’t understand why you got so mad today after Drew’s comment.” She looked up at him again, as if waiting for a confirmation to something he wasn’t going to be caught discussing with her anytime soon. It was none of her damn business. “I mean, I know you’re a gentleman. You’ve always been the sweet, perfect gentleman.” Not perfect enough for you. Avery was glad to notice, that didn’t bother him anymore, not even a bit. “You don’t talk about people badly and you have this part of you that finds goodness in everyone...I think that’s a lot of the reason you get along with Drew so well. You’re kind of like Sydney that way...”
Avery didn’t like that she was bringing his family into the conversation, but she was right. Sydney had the sweetest, most gentle and loving personality. Avery would be honored to be compared to her, however not from Ems.
“Your point Ems?” He was starting to lose his patience with this conversation he wasn’t interested in having. Ems must have sensed it because she spilled everything.
“Drew is pushing you because he misses you. You’re his best friend and I feel awful that I’ve pulled you two apart.” She should. “He doesn’t know how to say sorry to you, Avery. Or to talk to you. You know Drew, he’s a joker not a talker. He’s pushing you and I think Cece is right and you two have to hash it out.” He didn’t disagree with her, until her next words. “But I think you have to initiate it.”
He had to initiate it? Who the hell was she kidding?
He wasn’t about to be initiating anything with that back-stabbing prick. If Drew wanted to let bygones be bygones he better grow a pair and come find Avery himself. Not send his girlfriend.
“Who says I want to hash it out. Or fix it? It’s bullshit that you think you can pull me aside and ask me a favor after the shit you two pulled.” Avery pushed off the bus and turned to leave. How aggravating. He didn’t need this right now.
“Don’t play so innocent.” Her voice was rising. “You played your part in this too.”
Play so innocent? Played his part?
Avery turned, anger starting to bubble up inside him. How the hell was she planning on blaming him for their cheating?
Ems stepped back at his stare, but didn’t back down. “You knew Avery. You’ve known since the day I became a part of this band, that I was in love with Drew. I was in love with him the first time I saw him.”
Avery couldn’t den
y it, but it didn’t direct the blame to him. People change and he’d assumed Ems had. That didn’t quite stick the blame of this situation in his direction. She better have more than that.
“You were just being nice to me. That’s who you are. You saw I was hurting after Drew and I had our incident...” She was referring to her melt-down after Drew slept with her and another woman in a two-day span. Drew’s timing couldn’t have been worse, choosing to let that shit hit the ceiling while they were touring together in a small vehicle, most night crashing on the seats, and promoting their band in small venues.
Drew had always been a ladies man, so it hadn’t been that much of a surprise that he found himself another woman right after Ems. What was more of a surprise was the fact him and Ems had been in a committed relationship for over five months. It was his lack of loyalty that began the bonding between Ems and Avery. Talking and laughing turned into dating. But Avery had made damn sure Drew wasn’t into to Ems before he made his move. Drew had convinced Avery that Ems was nothing more than another key on his keyboard. Lying bastard.
“...I shouldn’t have let it go so far.” Avery had to drag his thoughts back to Ems. “I love Drew and you−”
Avery cut her off. “I loved you...”
Ems shoulders fell. “You may have loved me, but you weren’t in love with me.” The words sounded sad.
Avery stepped toward her, getting angrier with every word she spoke. “Don’t tell me how I feel or how I felt.”
“You weren’t in love me,” she repeated louder.
“Ems,” he warned.
“Stop denying it, Avery. You hated how sad I was, but that’s not love. That’s friendship.”
“So what? What you have with Drew is love? He cheated on you!” Avery scoffed. “And you cheated on me.” He shook his head. “What are we doing? I don’t want to fight with you. I don’t want to have this conversation at all.” They were at the AJH. And he wanted to enjoy it...and locate Cece.
“You might not want to talk about it, but you need to. We weren’t in love with each other. Stop and think about it.”
Lakeshore Lyrics: The McAdams Sisters (By The Lake Series Book 5) Page 10