Avery was breathing so heavy with anger he couldn’t even reply to her.
“I am ripping you and Drew apart and I hate it. It’s killing me inside. You two are my family and this is my fault.”
“It is,” he agreed, the only two words that would pass his lips in a crisper, cooler tone than the morning chill.
“But it’s yours too...and Drew’s. We are all to blame. We all played our part.”
Damn, she was making him mad.
“I want you to admit it. I want you to realize that you weren’t in love with me, so you can have your friend back.”
“So Drew can have his friend back.” Avery was mistaken by who she was in love with. She was making it clear with each word.
“It’s not just about Drew. Do you think I don’t feel awful what I did to you? I’m sorry. Yes, I did it the wrong way. I did it so wrong.”
“You did.”
“I did. I know. I can’t take it back, but you love Drew. He loves you. You two are best friends and you are letting me destroy it, when you never loved me.” For a shy woman, she was fierce when needed. Her tone lowered for her next words, as though they almost made her sad. “You never looked at me, the way you look at Cece. Not once.”
Avery was about to argue, but his words, his breath, and his fight caught in his chest. Just the mention of Cece’s name sent his body into Cece mode. Avery officially had a “Cece mode” and he loved it. It flushed away his anger and left a glow of hope that if Ems was so attentive of his feelings for Cece, that Cece herself would wake up to them too.
“Exactly,” Ems said. “That look, right there across your face, from just the mention of her name is exactly what I am talking about.”
How did Ems know about Cece? Was he really that obvious?
“That’s love Avery. That’s what being in love looks like how you’re feeling right this second for Cece. Not what we had.” Cece mode was love mode? “Drew should have never said those things about Cece to you. He did it because he sensed you had a thing for her. He deserved the punch, he deserved much more.”
Ems sent him her genuine smile, her friend smile. He hadn’t gotten that smile since before they dated, and he realized it wasn’t only Drew that he missed, he missed the whole band as one.
“Cece’s lucky to have you to defend her.” Ems moved past him, but stopped to touch his arm. Before she walked away she said, “Talk to Drew, please. Don’t do it for me. Do it for yourself.”
Ems walked away leaving, Avery still trying to on acknowledge her prior words.
Love? Cece? Was he in love with Cece?
Avery hardly knew Cece. But he did know that he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life without her. Was that love? Shouldn’t he know what love was since he wrote about it all the time?
It was love. He was in love with Cece Boyd.
Now, it was just a matter of convincing her once and for all that his heart didn’t belong to Ems like she thought, but rather to her.
When were they ever going to find time alone to talk?
Chapter Twelve
CECE DIDN’T GO into the studio at the radio station with the band. Avery, Ems, Drew and Sean were there, they were prepped, and it wasn’t their first interview...they would be fine. Their talent, charm, cleverness and lovable personalities would win over the hosts and listeners...what could go wrong?
Avery and Drew could try to pulverize each other. There was that.
Instead, Cece chose to find the lunch room to grab herself a much needed cup of coffee. She was exhausted after spending the rest of the bus ride, which she’d intended on getting shut-eye, wide awake...thinking about Avery. Thinking about that kiss and wondering what they were going to do next. Normally, her work voice would jump in to say, You’re his manager, you cannot date him. That voice had fallen asleep on the tour bus. That only left her heart to control her thoughts...and that was scaring her a little.
Cece wished her mind was focused on work related issues, instead of solely focused on Avery and what was to become of them and how much the whole idea was terrifying her. How, before Avery came into her life, had she filled all the gaps where he now resided in her mind, with work? It seemed impossible.
Cece leaned against the counter in the empty lunchroom, cradling the warm mug, and enjoying the moment by herself. Since their arrival in the city, she’d been going non-stop and most of her going had been a group ordeal. Until just now, as her lips touched the warm porcelain mug and sipped the hot, strong liquid that travelled through her body, settling down her nerves.
Exactly what I needed.
She hadn’t thought it possible for her nerves to get any more wired after the fight between Avery and Drew, and then Avery had gone and kissed her.
That kiss!
Her body grew hot at the memory only a few short hours ago. There was so much passion, desire, and lust in that one kiss, that it conquered all the uncertainty that Cece had been having about Avery’s feelings for Ems. That and Cece’s accidental overhearing of Ems and Avery talking about their relationship at the bus.
Overhearing? Eavesdropping? Was there a difference?
There was not a chance now of convincing herself to ignore her feelings for Avery or continuing to push him away after hearing how strong Avery’s feelings for Cece were...from his ex-girlfriend.
Cece knew that sounded odd, but after spending hours on the bus, and feeling alone in the passenger’s seat, that loneliness had been heart-breaking, soul crushing. She was more afraid of living in that loneliness without Avery than she was of breaking her “no dating musicians” rule.
She’d heard everything between Avery and Ems. From beginning to end. Pretty sure that was considered eavesdropping.
She hadn’t meant to listen in on their private conversation. At first, when she stumbled upon them, she’d intended to get out of their sight, and not interrupt. She’d quickly ducked behind another bus, feeling like she was hiding. Then as she glanced around in the dark, deciding which direction to go, she couldn’t tear herself away.
Sitting beside Avery in the limo, Ems words had repeated themselves over and over: You never looked at me the way you look at Cece. It was an instant transformation from being jealous of Ems voice to liking it. Instant.
Cece had feigned work the whole ride here, so she wouldn’t be tempted to look up at Avery, wanting to know the answer to the next questions that repeated in her head: How did he look at her? Like he was in love. In love? In love!
It sounded wonderful and crazy all at the same time.
Did everyone see the way they looked at each other? Had it been going on for the last two months?
Cece felt like she should be embarrassed at the possibility that the two of them hadn’t hid their feelings as well as she thought, but she was too excited that Avery had a special look specifically for her...especially after that kiss. She was losing the battle. She was losing bad.
It had been strange listening to Ems tell Avery about his feelings. It sounded like Ems was telling Cece what her feelings had been for Rusty. Cece had never felt for Rusty what she felt for Avery though. That pull. There was a pull that her body reacted to from the moment she had laid eyes on Avery. Attraction was what she’d blamed it on at the time, but now Cece knew it was more. So much deeper than she knew or wanted to admit to herself. Knowing Avery wasn’t in love with Ems, without a doubt, had fully released all her true feelings for him. Very strong feelings.
Cece was ready to throw her career away just to be with him. What? Was it really that surprising? For Avery’s sake, and the future of Inch Away, she couldn’t. This was his career. This was important to him. Cece understood musicians and their music was their life. She saw the passion Avery had for his music and she couldn’t put his career in jeopardy. She wouldn’t do that to Avery.
They could work around and manage his career. Deep down Cece knew that was true, she had done it with Rusty. It hadn’t been Rusty’s career that had destroyed them.
That night came back in a hot, scary flash, leaving Cece winded. She abandoned her coffee with a need to move.
The halls closed in around her as she tried to bury the memories into a bottomless well. She tried to yank the bucket up, leaving them to stay at the bottom, but her mind wouldn’t let her. That night had altered a part of her life that she couldn’t get back and that affected Avery, as much as she wanted to believe it wouldn’t. Rusty, musicians, fear, whatever reasons she generated wouldn’t be the only reasons she’d kept her distance from men, from relationships...there was by far, a scarier basis.
Back inside the studio, on the opposite side of the glass from the ongoing morning show, Cece watched Avery. She couldn’t take her eyes away from him. Maybe that’s what everyone is seeing. Avery was a confident and clear talker, a charmer. Drew was the funny, entertaining one, sometimes a bit too much of a joker. Sean was a down-to-earth kind of guy and Ems was the sweetheart...this time Cece could think it without jealousy or comparison. It felt good.
Inch Away had a good sound, good lyrics, a good image and they were on their way to fame. Cece had to remember that. Cece had to stay focused...at least until after the AHJ when they would have time to privately discuss...whatever this was.
Stay in work mode. Her head dropped and she swiped her iPad screen, bringing up the weekend’s itinerary. Tonight: giveaway tickets at the bar. Tomorrow: AHJ begins. Get them to merch tent, then autographs. Saturday: concert followed by private dinner and dance with the winners of this morning’s games...see, staying focused wasn’t that hard.
“Tell us about your dating lives...”
Cece’s head whipped up at the host’s comment and knocked the focus right out of her. Her eyes fell on Avery’s...again. He was looking right at her. We are like two magnets.
“I’m single,” Sean said into the microphone, with teasing in his voice. “For all you single ladies tonight heading out to Trackers Patio...I am single.”
Cece would have smiled at Sean’s pushy manner, if Avery’s dark eyes weren’t locked with hers in that way that had her wanting to lick her lips. She didn’t. Or lick his abs...Why did it always come back down to his abs? Because they are beautiful.
“What about you Ems?” Jerry asked.
Ems shared her shy smile around the room. She really did match her country, sweet facade. “I’m taken,” she said in her small voice.
“And who’s the lucky guy?” Jerry asked with a low whistle.
Ems grinned. “I never kiss and tell,” she teased into the microphone.
Everyone laughed and somewhere in the back of Cece’s mind she thought, Well played Ems.
“But...maybe today I just might...” Another round of laughter. This girl was good with words. “Only because Dave’s been giving me sweet-eyes all morning...”
Another round of laughter.
Inch Away was good. Cece wished she could concentrate more as Drew and Ems relationship went live...she liked to stay on top of what was revealed and what wasn’t. But she was drawn to Avery. Yes, his eyes were like magnetic waves pulling her heart and claiming it as his own. He only ripped his stare away when it was his turn to state his relationship status.
“Evoked Heartbeat is rising to the top of the charts right now,” Dave threw in.
Great advertising.
Avery chuckled. “Yes, it is. I wrote that for a woman I thought I was in love with.”
A round of “ohhh’s” and “ahhh’s” went about the hosts, while an alarm went off in Cece’s head, snapping her right into work mode. Her unease had nothing to do with any possible affection between Ems and Avery. No, it was strictly work. Avery had to tread carefully. His words affected the bands reputation. Drew stealing Ems right out from under Avery, even if they hadn’t ever loved each other, was not a positive bragging point. Should have she brought this to everyone’s attention? She’d assumed it was common sense, but maybe that was sloppy of her.
“Turns out we weren’t in love with each other, but we were...are...very good friends.”
Sympathetic nods all around. “Don’t jinx your song bro. The women are loving it right now and thinking you wrote that for a really special lady,” Dave said.
“We sure are,” Sara agreed, with a wink at Avery.
A wink? You little tart. Cece mentally shook the unfamiliar mean streak from her head and reminded herself it was part of the show. She wasn’t actually hitting on him. Although a lot of women would hit on Avery as he continued to rise to fame. It would become a regular occurrence.
Cece didn’t like the wash of emotions that reality brought to her body. She’d seen Riley go through more women than she could count in this business. She’d seen a lot of men do it behind their girlfriend’s and wives backs and she’d first hand encountered that betrayal with Rusty.
Avery was different, she could sense it...but it didn’t stop her mind from reminding her of the hurt and the consequences of that night.
“Look you’re crushing Sara’s heart,” Dave said.
Cece felt like her heart was crushing. That familiar twist in her gut whenever she thought about settling down with a man, reminding her of what happened that night, was rising devastatingly up her chest. She couldn’t do that again.
“I did write that song for a special lady. I poured my soul, my love, my passion, and the true part of myself that believes in a love so profound, into that song. Evoked Heartbeat is about that one person that your emotions lose their control around. Your other half. Your soul mate. Call that person whatever you like. But when that person walks into your life, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve known each other, or how many boundaries are between you, that love, that person, that feeling, is what Evoked Heartbeat was written about.”
Sara touched Avery’s arm and Cece felt her claws coming out. “Wow, I just fell in love with you.”
“That’s what all the girls say,” Drew said.
Cece couldn’t help but agree with Sara...she’d totally fallen in love with Avery McAdams and no career, his or hers, was going to keep them apart. All she had to do now was work on not letting her past with Rusty come back to haunt them.
“That’s all the time we have this morning. If you want to find out if Avery McAdams is single you’ll have to come down to the patio tonight and ask him yourself.”
***
AFTER THE THREE radio show interviews were finished, they all met with Jones and Rob by the limo. It was just after nine and the streets were busy with traffic and pedestrians rushing to their destinations.
“So, that is it until tonight,” Sean said, as they approached the limo. “You don’t need us anymore?” He flashed Cece a crooked, joking smile. “I read the very detailed itinerary very thoroughly.”
Sean was teasing her! It wasn’t laced with the seduction Avery’s itinerary comment had been, but it was a nice change from the professional guard they’d all wore since meeting her.
Cece had a list of things to do when she got back to the festival, but as for the band, their time was clear. Regardless of Sean’s promise that he had read the itinerary, Cece started to list off the next day as a little reminder for them. “We are meeting tonight at the patio around nine and there until closing. That will be around two in the morning. Tomorrow the bands start at lunch and you are all to meet at the merch tent after lunch...”
Ems cut her off. “But today we are free from now until nine?” Technically earlier, because they had to get ready for the patio and drive over, but Cece assumed she was aware of that.
Cece nodded.
“Alright,” Drew said, and a round of smiles found their lips. “Let’s check this city out.” A round of high fives followed.
“And not limo style,” Sean said backing away. “It’s subway and cabs for this crew,” he said, yanking Avery’s arm.
Cece ignored the disappointment in her that Avery was leaving. This was actually a good thing. They needed separation. And the band needed to do some fun stuff together. She had work today. He
had work tomorrow. They had their whole lives to figure out...their future...
When her lips parted to tell Avery to stay, she clamped them shut, and then told the band not to forget to leave enough time to shower and change before the patio and not to arrive drunk. She bit her tongue when the thought to add in “no more fist throwing” was on the tip.
Ems caught her hand in passing. “Come with us,” she said, giving it a little tug.
Cece thought she’d heard wrong at first, but when Drew slung his arm around Ems and three sets of eyes watched her waiting for her reply, she knew Ems had just invited her out. That was shocking. That was amazing. That was a bit scary.
“I have a few things to do before−” Cece started, but Sean cut her off.
“Are they that important?” he asked.
Double checks. They were all double checks. When the band started their tour in the New Year, they would have a tour manager, but Cece hadn’t thought it necessary for the festival, leaving her with the responsibility of making sure the concert went smoothly. A concert two days from now...
Cece’s eyes found Avery and he was silently begging her to come and silently she wanted to. Was this a bad idea? Would she regret it? Would she regret if she didn’t go, when she found herself sitting alone thinking about Avery?
“Come on,” Ems urged, sending her an invite to join them not as a strict manager, but as a friend. Maybe friend was a little much, but it was closer than she’d been to all of them.
Cece glanced at Rob as if needing confirmation to go. He was standing beside her in security position, his arms folded tightly across his chest. He knew the ropes around a festival, what had to be done, what could wait. She waited, unsure whether he would understand and unsure why she was silently asking him in the first place. Rob gave her a go for it nod with a little wink.
Yes!
That was exactly the push she needed.
Cece passed him her iPad, unable to contain her smile and the gang roared in approval.
“Have fun,” Rob whispered to her. “You deserve it.”
Cece’s smile grew. She almost reached up and kissed his cheek, but that was going a little overboard. Bailing on the AHJ was already stepping at the edge, a position she was not used to being...but it felt good.
Lakeshore Lyrics: The McAdams Sisters (By The Lake Series Book 5) Page 11