Loyal Love

by Henry, Max

“What about Tuck?”

  His nostrils flare, the muscle at the point of his jaw flexing. “I didn’t keep his number.”

  My head hits the rest as I groan. “Boys.”

  “What?” We accelerate through the outskirts. “You expect me to hold on to the details of the guy who not only outed me to everyone but is probably fucking my sister?”

  “If you were worth your weight as a brother, yes.”

  “Think again.” His mumbled words fall into the silence between us.

  I fidget with the hem of my tank, reminding myself to keep my back straight. The roads open out into the semi-rural stretches between the city and Arcadia. Colt peers over every so often, yet he never makes a move to say anything. The muted songs on the radio piss me off, their cheery beats in contrast to our current situation.

  “Why do you think we’d be good together?” I blurt, stomach doing somersaults.

  He sighs and reaches across, settling the hand closest to me on my leg. “Why do you think we wouldn’t?”

  “Opinion.”

  “Whose?” he grumbles. “Yours or other people’s?”

  “Both.”

  His fingers tighten above my knee.

  “My parents wouldn’t approve, and you know that would make things hard.”

  He shrugs. “For a while.”

  “Why just a while?” I scoff. “It would get worse the longer I defied them.”

  “Would it?” He turns his head briefly, pinning me with his heated stare. “I think they’d back off once you show they can’t control you.”

  “My parents aren’t like yours,” I whisper. “They care too much about what I do.”

  “As opposed to?” he asks.

  “Not caring enough.”

  Colt stays quiet, but his fingers move over my leg, making small strokes that leave scorching lines across my thigh. “My dad cares. He’s limited by his position, though. It’s my mother who acts as though she wishes she’d never had us.”

  “Do you think that’s true?” Surely not.

  He nods firmly. “Yeah. I do.”

  I lay my hand over his. “That’s messed up, Colt. I’m sorry.”

  He squeezes my leg before turning his palm to meet mine. “It is what it is.” A staggered sigh leaves his lips.

  “What?” I breathe.

  He chews his full bottom lip, eyes hard on the road before us. “Not much, baby.”

  I grin. “You’re a terrible liar sometimes.” My chest swells, heart full at how easy our conversation can be.

  “You really want to know what I’m thinking?”

  I can barely get the word free. “Yes.”

  He fires the heat in my heart down to low in my belly, stirring entirely different parts of me. “I’m wondering if it would be inappropriate to find somewhere to pull over and sort out this fucking need to ravage you.”

  I gently pull my hand away from his. “When was the last time you slept with someone?”

  His brow dips hard. “Why?”

  “I think you need to empty your goddamn balls so you can figure out if what you feel for me is purely physical or more.”

  He sighs, heavy, both hands throttling the wheel. “I don’t want to fuck anyone else, Greer. I’ve had plenty of chances, and trust me, I’ve considered it. But it won’t change the one damn thing that keeps popping up in my fucking head when I look at other girls.”

  “Which is?” I swear my heavy heartbeat lifts the fabric of my sweater.

  “They’re not you,” he snaps. “I look at their bedroom eyes, the way they tilt their hips and shove their breasts out, and all I can think is, ‘She wouldn’t taste like Greer,’ or ‘Her hair isn’t as soft as Greer’s.’” He sighs. “It’s fucked up how much you’re twisted into my day-to-day.”

  “Is that a bad thing?” I ask carefully.

  “No, Greer.” His tone is curt and a little insulting. “It’s not.” Colt briefly closes his eyes, lips pressed together. “It’s confusing,” he whispers. “That’s all.”

  “I know.” I chew the inside of my cheek to save from saying anything else. “Trust me, I know.”

  LACEY

  Tuck reluctantly left with a promise to come over first thing in the morning. He couldn’t come home with me when he has Major and rounds to do on the farm, and it was doubly difficult when I had a motorbike that needed hiding away before Dad gets in from work. So, we made the most of a quiet corner in the courtyard while everyone raced home for the day.

  “What did he have to say?” Mandy asks as I approach the shed.

  Cut to the chase, why don’t you? “He apologised.” It’s all they need to know. “I didn’t expect you to wait for me.”

  She tips her chin in acknowledgement. “We figured it would be best to stick around so that there was someone to ride with you.”

  “Thank you.” I tuck my hair out of the way, ready to put the helmet on.

  “Hey.” Cate stares over my shoulder as she reaches out and taps me on the arm. “You’ve got a visitor.”

  I hesitate, helmet raised before my face, and twist to check who’s coming. Maybe Tuck had a change of heart?

  My arms drop to my sides, helmet smacking into my thigh. Shit. “What are you doing here?”

  Colt scowls, gaze shifting between my eyes and the helmet in my hands. “What the fuck is this?”

  “Greer?” She trails behind him, her features softer, yet the tension radiates off her equally as bad.

  “My God, they’re vicious at the front gates,” she remarks, one arm massaging her other. “Is this how it always is?”

  “Only when they spot something they don’t like,” Mandy snaps, stepping in front of me. “Why are you here, Colt?”

  “To see my fucking sister.” He sets a hand on her shoulder and nudges Mandy aside. “Why won’t you answer our calls, sis?”

  Oh, damn. “I, uh, lost my phone.”

  Colt lifts an eyebrow. “Right.”

  Rolling my eyes, I slouch a little. “Fine. I threw it in the trash in a fit of rage.”

  My brother rests his face in his hand. Greer smirks.

  “What?” I exclaim, arms flailing at my sides, the helmet smacking me hard once more. “I forgot in the heat of the moment that Dad couldn’t just buy another one anymore.”

  “You’ve done this before?” Mandy asks incredulously.

  “Once or twice,” I admit. I turn back to Colt. “What’s happened? Why do you need to see me so urgently?”

  “To make sure you’re alive.” He folds his arms high on his chest. It draws my eye to his unbuttoned shirt, his creased blazer. His hair is a tousled mess, his face still showing signs of discolouring from his fights.

  He’s a shadow of the elegant man he was growing into mere weeks ago.

  “Well, as you can see, I’m fine. So, thanks.”

  He tips his head toward the bikes. “You one of these troublemakers now?”

  “Hey!” Mandy snaps.

  He rolls his eyes across to her. “Admit it. Everywhere you go, there’s drama.”

  Cate clears her throat, head down while she slots the key in her bike.

  “Nobody invited you two out here,” Mandy points out, “and if you ask me that’s bound to create enough drama for all of us.”

  Right on cue, Johnson strides around the adjacent shed, Ed following close behind with his eyes wide and hands high as though to apologise.

  “What the fuck are you doing here, rapist?”

  “Jesus,” Colt mutters, turning slowly to address him. “This again?”

  “Johnson,” Mandy shouts. “Stop it.”

  “Who said you could show your face?”

  “I’m here to visit family,” Colt says softly. “So, sue me.”

  Greer skirts the boys, moving to stand beside me. I lean into her, whispering, “Why the hell is he so worked up? It can’t just be because I haven’t returned his calls.”

  She smiles tightly. “I’ll tell you another time.”

  “W
e’re not starting this shit again,” Mandy demands, placing herself between the two bristling boys. “Walk away. Both of you.”

  Colt turns and addresses me. “I’ll see you at home.” He snaps his fingers at my friend. “Greer.”

  She hastens after him, giving me a small wave.

  “You don’t have to go home if you don’t want to.” Mandy watches the duo until they’re out of view and then turns toward me.

  I don’t get to answer.

  “Did you ask him to come here?” Johnson bites, taking a step toward me.

  “No. I didn’t,” I snap back, hand throttling the helmet’s chin guard. “Even if I had, since when do I have to ask your permission to see my brother?”

  “Since he came out here and fucked everything up.” Johnson’s eyes narrow with pure, unchecked hatred.

  I snort, shaking my head. “It’s your step-sister who’s set to ruin everything.”

  “Lacey,” Mandy hisses in an attempt to keep me quiet.

  “If I were you,” I continue, glowering at Johnson, “I’d start by cleaning things up at home.” I give him my back, confident that I’ve won this round.

  “No wonder he woke the fuck up and let you go.”

  My blood chills. “Excuse me?” Despite the warning in my gut telling me to walk away, I turn to Tuck’s friend.

  “You heard me.”

  Ed sets a hand on Johnson’s shoulder, urging him to leave it.

  “Tuck woke the fuck up to what a soul-sucking whore you are and dropped your arse before we all thought he was a fucking idiot for going there.”

  “Screw you.” I drop the helmet and storm toward him, unsure what comes next. “Where do you get off?” I shunt the heels of both hands into his collarbones. He stumbles back, mouth twisted in anger. “You can’t live with how crappy your life is, so you do the best to ruin everyone else’s to make yourself feel better.”

  “Sound familiar?” he hollers, moving close enough that his words hit my face in a heated gust. “You’d understand, wouldn’t you?”

  “I do not ruin everyone’s life,” I grit between my teeth.

  His face slowly softens, a smirk tugging his lips high on one side. “Don’t you?”

  “That’ll do.” I didn’t hear Mandy coming. Forgot there was anyone else here until she pushed him back. “You can go now. Colt’s left, and so should you.”

  “Come on,” Ed urges. “We’ve got stuff to do before tomorrow.”

  I study Ed, trying my hardest to get a hint of what this “stuff” is and if it has anything to do with Amber. He gives nothing away, turning his friend and guiding him away with a hand flat between Johnson’s shoulders.

  “Ignore them,” Mandy offers. “He’s throwing shit out there in the hope it sticks and hurts.”

  “Yeah?” Well, he managed to do that pretty well.

  “He’s always like this when he’s pissy about something.”

  I retrieve the helmet and follow her toward the shed. “Amber?”

  “Without a doubt.”

  Cate snorts. “Highly sexual people tend to divert their energy into aggression when their preferred outlet is removed as an option.”

  I frown while smiling. “I’m sorry, Doctor Morrow. I didn’t realise we had a session today.”

  “Since when do you know so much about psychology?” Mandy asks.

  Cate grins. “I watch a lot of documentaries.”

  “Right.” She’s one of those white girls; the ones obsessed with serial killers and true crime.

  The sweet ones usually are.

  “Now that all that bullshit is over,” Mandy says, tugging her helmet on, “we need to get home and practice.”

  My shoulders drop. That’s why they waited. “I can’t.”

  “Why not?” She frowns beneath the mask of her lid.

  “Colt’s waiting. Plus, I promised Dad I’d catch up on helping with the housework before I spend the weekend out.” It’s not a lie; I do help with housework during the week.

  It’s just not that critical.

  “Fair enough.” Mandy slings a leg over her bike. “We can do it tomorrow morning.”

  “Ugh.”

  “What now?” Her head drops back as she groans the words.

  “I promised Tuck we’d talk more tomorrow morning.”

  She glances to Cate who’s also ready to roll. “Boys. They’re such a stick in the wheel.”

  Cate simply smiles and then kicks her bike over.

  “You want us to ride home with you anyway?” Mandy asks before they leave.

  I shake my head, thumbing the strap of the helmet in my hands. “I think I’ve got it. Thanks.”

  “Good girl.” Her eyes narrow a fraction. “You’ll fit in just fine.”

  That’s the problem: I don’t want to fit in anymore. Not when it means doing what everyone else expects of you.

  GREER

  “Fuck!” Colt launches out of the Explorer, slamming the door behind him.

  I sit stock-still, too terrified to move, my ears ringing from the sound amplified in the cabin.

  My messed-up prince marches back and forth in front of the car, hands twisted into his golden locks. His control spirals out of his grasp, and no matter how many times he fights to regain it, the reins have been handed over to everyone but him.

  He doesn’t know how to fix this, and I don’t know how to fix him.

  My fingertips slide over the smooth metal of the door handle, pulling it gently toward me. The door pops open, and I hesitate in case this isn’t want Colt wants; company.

  He continues to walk aimlessly, stopping every so often to holler profanity at the sky.

  I slide from the seat, my boots touching the ground with the gracefulness of a dancer. He doesn’t let on whether or not he registers my presence as I approach, his face contorted with despair, rage colouring his usually bright eyes a deep, vibrant shade of grey-blue.

  “Hey.” I reach out, afraid to get too close should he lash out.

  I’ve never seen him this unhinged. This… unruly.

  “Colt. Stop.” My fingers find home against his.

  He stalls, chest heaving with his full breaths. Nothing is said. Nothing verbal, at least. His fingers intertwine with mine, and he holds me with such desperation it hurts deep in my knuckle joints.

  “It’ll be okay,” I assure him, inching closer. “It’ll pass.”

  Air rushes from his nose; his lips twitched into a grimace. His eyebrows lift and then plunge into a deep frown, nostrils flaring.

  It’s time.

  Time to put aside my fears of what others think. Time to put aside my fears of how deeply love this intimate could hurt me.

  It’s time.

  I step into Colt, free arm looping around his shoulders to pull him tight against me, our fingers still fused into a lover’s hold. His head drops to my shoulder, his back still heaving with his heavy, short breaths. I run my hand through his hair, uttering whispered shushes as I do my best to comfort him.

  It’s a transition, this feeling of hopelessness. Colt is a guy who has always been in control, and to finally realise you have none? Yeah. That’s the kind of revelation that absolutely destroys a person.

  “What the fuck can I do, Greer?” He bands his arm around my waist, clinging tight.

  “I don’t think there is anything you can do.” My fingers trace circles on his scalp while I place a soft kiss to the shell of his ear.

  He pulls away, arms still keeping me captive yet his head back so he can read my face. “There’s always something.”

  I give a little shrug, studying his mouth, his eyes, his mouth again. “I told you the only thing I think you have left, but you don’t want to do that.”

  “Tell our father,” he mumbles.

  I nod.

  He moves slowly, precise, as though analysing every second to ensure it’s perfect. Fixated on my lips, his eyes hood as he leans forward and tilts his head. I close my eyes; my breath hitches when our mouths
connect…

  To the sound of a damn motorbike.

  Shit. He pulls away, clearing his throat.

  Clearing me.

  Arms tight across my chest I turn and find Lacey riding into the driveway, blond hair drifting behind her where it spills from under the helmet. She looks fierce. I have to admit that I’m a little jealous of that.

  “I bet Dad doesn’t know about that either,” Colt mutters, heading for the house.

  I sigh, watching him go while I swallow back my tears. God damn it. He pulls me apart, constantly, never putting me back together before he returns to play again.

  I wait until Lacey re-emerges from behind the house before I head across to join them. I can’t be around him right now. Not alone. Not that close. Heading back to Riverbourne will be sweet hell.

  “Come inside first, okay?” Lacey asks while she unlocks the door. “I need a drink.”

  I follow the siblings into their Dad’s place and then make myself comfortable on the sofa while they begin.

  “Were you calling to let me know that Amber’s invited half the damn student body out to Dee’s party? Because if you were,” Lacey snaps at Colt, “you could have saved yourself a trip.”

  “Partially,” he answers coolly. “But for the most part, I wanted to check on you.”

  She hesitates, a glass of water in hand, to study his face. “Are you okay?”

  Colt flinches, turning his head away. “I’m fine.”

  “You look like hell.” Lace turns to address me. “Don’t you think, Greer?”

  I nod at the floor. “I have noticed.”

  “What are they doing to you in there?” Lacey muses, heading for the armchair.

  “This is why you need to sign the damn document,” Colt barks from the doorway.

  She shakes her head. “No. This is why I shouldn’t sign it. You can’t handle that kind of stress, Colt. Look at you.” Her brow lifts as she implores her brother with her eyes. “You’re barely holding together now.”

  I can feel the heat of his stare against the side of my face. “I’ve got things other than you creating hell for me, Lacey. Your issues are a welcome distraction.”

  She frowns, glancing between the two of us. “What else is going on? Greer?”

  “Just the shift of hierarchy at school,” I bluff. “Things are tense in the halls until Libby comes back and irons it all out.”