Shark Out of Water (Grab Your Pole, #3)

by Jenn Cooksey

  “Yeah, I know. I had Gary add it a few wee—wait. How the fuck would you know that?”

  My mind was racing…when Camie was at the allergist, I added the date of that fight we had because it was when we both used the “L word” for the first time out loud and meant it…Mia said she saw a picture of my tattoo and there’s only the one picture of mine by itself in existence and Gary took it when I had him add the date because he’d forgotten to get one of mine or Camie’s when he did them originally, and there isn’t a single picture of Camie’s by itself, and Mia asked if she’d “read the symbolism correctly,” and just now she called it what it really is…a contract…so that has to mean…

  “I just saw the twin, minus one date. I’m really curious though, whose idea was the Highlander reference?”

  Oh FUCK. I was wrong. My freakout has only just begun…

  “Hers, but oh, Mia, please tell me you didn’t tell her you know it’s a contract.” Oh God, this isn’t good…

  “Ahh…”

  “Oh fuck…what exactly did you say?”

  “I can’t give you word for word, dearheart, but I told her I recognized my brother’s work, that I’d seen the mate but didn’t realize there was another one or something along those lines, and then I did happen to tell her I know it’s a contract but that was only because Gary had called it that.”

  “How about where you saw it…did you tell her you’d only seen a picture of it?”

  She nodded.

  I wanted to breath a sigh of relief, but something is telling me it’s a little too early to do a celebratory dance in the end zone. “Alright. You didn’t by any chance happen to mention you actually understand the symbolism though, did you?”

  Again, Mia nodded.

  I started whining out loud this time… “No no nooo…for the love of all that’s HOLY, Mia, you didn’t tell her you understand it because you know me!?”

  “I did.”

  And now I think I’m legitimately hyperventilating. Little did I know, it was a lot worse than that…

  “Tristan, you need to take a deep breath, let it out and keep doing that, and it’s gonna be hard for you when you hear this, but please don’t stop because you’ll pass out. Jeff introduced me to her at Wayne’s party in a particularly, ah…informative way. You weren’t there and I had no clue who she was so I played along.”

  “Nooooo…he…she…you…” Oh Jesus, now I know Satan is definitely fucking with that goddamned fire. And I also now know what someone might feel like before they have a stroke.

  “Keep breathing and talk to me…I know you’re lying to her but I don’t know why, so will you tell me about that?” Mia asked calmly and let me pace around her in a circle, being in almost full-blown panic mode.

  “Nope, not gonna talk about that to anyone and before you ask, I don’t know! I don’t know how to fix it or even if I should! I don’t know what the fuck to do! Especially now!”

  “Alright, keep breathing, but you’re making me dizzy so let’s sit down and talk about this,” she said and pulling on my arm with all her weight, she forced me to sit. “Let’s start with some basic but important questions. Do you love her?”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay, good. Now, does she love you?”

  “Mmm, I’m not sure anymore. She did though, I’m sure about that. Buuut I hurt her and I don’t really know what kind of damage was done. It could be permanent.”

  “Why are you hesitating in figuring that out?”

  “Honestly, because I’m afraid of the answer. Either way I think I’m fucked so being in purgatory seems to be my easiest option right now. I can’t make up my mind and I don’t wanna let her go, but I think I might only be holding onto her because I’m being selfish.”

  “Whoa, hold on. I’ve had my fair share of relationships where I’ve really gotten to know my boyfriends, so trust me when I say the way a person behaves in bed is highly indicative of their character. Now, as you’re aware, you and I have spent quite a bit of time in bed together, Tristan, so I know you pretty damned well and I can confidently say that you are the furthest away from selfish as it gets, so you need to explain that.”

  “Alright, I’ll try,” I sighed. Then, because I could feel it about to come spewing out, I took a deep breath and let loose with a copious amount of what I’m sure could be termed as word vomit. “You see, Mia, it’s like this…she might be better off with someone else but I don’t want anyone else to have her. From the very first time I saw her over the summer I was done. Strangest moment in my entire life too. It was like I recognized her and I almost immediately thought of her as mine even though I couldn’t bring myself to even find out what her name was. And for a little while, I even thought she had a boyfriend, but…the feeling that she was mine never went away. I saw her over and over again throughout the summer but I still couldn’t even approach her, but then she showed up here at school and that was it.

  “Then when I found out I was the only one to have ever even kiss her, let alone the virgin thing which I actually love by the way, I figured God was laughing at me because she and I have always had this really fucking weird physical chemistry that’s a tangible thing like lightning. Honestly, there are times when we’ve touched that it feels like we’ve caught fire but it’s an amazing burn, which just makes being together difficult for me at times, as I’m sure you of all people can imagine. But even before I found out about all that, I couldn’t fucking stand the idea of anyone else touching her, even if it’s just holding hands. And still to this day it makes me literally sick to my stomach. Seriously, I could puke right now just thinking about it, which I’ve actually finally done…it’s fucking gross, but even with all that and as much as I love her, I’m not convinced she’s meant for me.

  “I mean, Mia, Camie and I could be epic but we haven’t actually known each other very long, it basically started in October, and we’re still sort of feeling each other out, but, I think we might have all the pieces bar one…because when we fight, we fucking fight and we usually end up hurting each other in some way and that’s just not good, plus, she’s sorta young, but it’s not her age so maybe inexperienced in comparison to her peers might be a better way to describe it, which makes her a little insecure in some areas, not that that’s a really big issue though. I mean it’s sorta frustrating sometimes, but it’s not even remotely a deal breaker for me. And it’s not that we fight all the time, but we do bicker pretty often and that’s just not what I envision as being a happy or strong relationship that can last. Does that make sense?”

  “Some of it, but what doesn’t isn’t important. Do you two talk? I mean, are you open and candid with each other?”

  “Yes and no. Like I said, we’re still sorta getting a feel for each other and the trust was really coming along until I fucked up, but being transparent with each other before that, not so much.”

  “Hmm. But she knows what you’re really looking for and that you think she might be it.”

  “Uh-uh, she doesn’t,” I sighed and shook my head.

  “You’re kidding. You said she came up with the whole there can be only one phrasing though, I thought she would’ve known what that means…I mean, she tattooed it on her body, Tristan, she has to know.”

  “Yeah, well…for her it stands for something different. The tattoo was originally just something we drew on each other with Sharpie when we made things official and we called it our contract because we each had terms. She wanted an exclusive commitment, no other girls. I was a little iffy on that point in the very very beginning but I agreed, and then once we began negotiating I just never told her that for me, that phrase has a double meaning. Like seriously, what was I gonna say? I believe in soul mates and I’ve been around the block a time or two searching for mine, and well, even though you’re not even quite sixteen and we’re still getting to really know each other, I think you might be the one? Remember, Mia, three months.”

  “I see your point.”

  “Thanks.”r />
  “Alright, regardless of whether she knows, the fact is you do believe in soul mates and you have been searching for yours. Another part of your deal quite clearly stipulates whatever it takes, so if you think she might be it, what’s it gonna take for you to find out? Nothing ventured, nothing gained is an age-old adage for a reason, lover. She might not be, and if that’s the case, so what? It might sting a little but you’ll both survive and move on. But, what if she is and you let her go because you didn’t take the risk of finding out one way or the other? I mean, Tristan, it’s the Great White Buffalo…”

  I blew out a breath and nodded. “You’re right. But it’s gonna be tricky…” Really tricky. For one thing, I still really shouldn’t touch her. The cake incident proved that’s asking for trouble. And I need to figure out a way to not tell her why I’ve let her believe I broke up with her, because if she learns the truth, she’s gone. Game over. Period. The end.

  “That, lover, is an understatement,” Mia said and stood up.

  “What do you mean, why?”

  “Well, you have a little damage control to do…”

  Annnd, I’m hyperventilating and feeling strokey again.

  “Oh fuck, Mia, what…what else happened?”

  “Well, it’s Kate’s theory that the reason you broke up with Camie is that when she told you no, you cheated on her…”

  “Fuckin’ Kate!” You know, when I told her to just do what she’s been doing, that was not what I fuckin’ meant, and between her and her fucking boyfriend, Zack is starting to sound like a good guy to pal around with!

  “With me.”

  “WHAT?!!?” Oh fuck…not a stroke. This is much, much worse…this has gotta be an embolism. Oh, Jesus…what do I do? Oh God, this is a nightmare… I wanna quit the nightmare, I wanna quit the nightmare!!

  “I did tell her no but I don’t know if she believed me or not, so, there it is.”

  OH MY FUCKING GOD! I told Camie I went to Joey’s birthday party and she got all weird…because she knows who Mia is and that she would be there! Oh…I can’t breathe…OH! OH! NOOO! I told her I ended up spending the rest of the night in bed! I grinned and chuckled too! OH and I winked! Why did I wink?! What the fuck was I thinking?! Oh Jesus…I can’t believe I winked!!

  GODDAMNIT, ADAM!! Just because she hands you a fucking piece of fruit doesn’t mean you have to take a bite, you stupid fucking prick!

  Mia took me by the shoulders, looked me in the eyes and said, “I’ll miss you…now go. Go hunt your Great White Buffalo.” Then she blew me a kiss as she pushed me away.

  And away I went into the gym, mentally and profusely apologizing to Eve for my offenses and sorta wondering how long it takes before an embolism kills you…

  Panic at the disco ~ Pete

  Chaos reigned supreme.

  It was like a bomb had been set off in the gym the second Tristan walked in looking more than slightly crazed. Well, a bomb had actually been set off, but it was a small cherry bomb in one of the backstage dressing room toilets, however, that didn’t happen until a little later. Mia left the scene pre-carnage to give Camie a chance pull herself together in private, the sound techs couldn’t get the volume on Mike’s microphone adjusted and it was so loud you could literally hear him breathing, and when Kate came out from backstage, Jeff grabbed her by the arm and dragged her right back to where she’d come from to presumably go over their murder/suicide pact. Todd tripped over one of the side stage curtains, pulling it halfway down and also knocking over the water cooler when he fell, then when Keith heard what’d happened with Brandon, he made a snide comment to Ryan loud enough for Melissa to hear and she was so pissed that she refused to change or even participate in the dress rehearsal and was in the middle of backing Keith into a corner as she jabbed her finger into his chest. Anyone who wasn’t backstage or listening to an obscene phone call via Mike’s microphone or Melissa berate Keith, heard Landon break up with Courtney and her tell him in return that he could learn a thing or two from his twin, Logan, whom she apparently hooked up with over the weekend, and then just as Nathan made the mistake of being in his tennis sportswear that he’s supposed to model when he opened his juice box, which of course exploded with strawberry kiwi juice and got all over the front of his white sweater, the circuit breaker went and with it, so did the lights. Mike’s breathing was, unfortunately, uninterrupted. Seriously though, we’re in high school, who drinks juice boxes in high school?

  “Can you believe this? It’s a certified madhouse!” I said, walking up to Tristan in the dim light being cast from the blacked-out windows high above our heads.

  “Yeah, it’s great, whatever, but I winked, Pete…where is she? ‘Cause I fuckin’ winked!” He said, sounding unfazed yet completely deranged at the same time, making me think that one; he was right at home in this pandemonium, and two; he’d somehow heard about the Camie/Mia exchange.

  “Um, I think sh—”

  “Tristan? Is that you?” Hannah’s voice floated over to interrupt me as she moved close enough to see him and then she put her hand on his arm and said, “Definitely you…Jamie’s freaking out and wants you to strip so we can start as soon as the lights are back on. Not that I’d mind waiting to see you strip for me in the light, but still…”

  “Really? You do realize you just said that out loud,” Tristan said and even though I couldn’t really see his face, I could clearly see the disdain that was there through our link that chose this moment to make itself known, letting me know that time is running out. “And by the way, not no, but fuck no! I have important shit to take care of so tell Jamie I’ll change when I’m goddamned good and ready! And I’m not stripping for you or anyone else! Fuck! What is it with chicks wanting me to take my clothes off today?!” He spewed in ill temper.

  Hannah’s hand went from Tristan’s arm to his chest and as she leaned into him she purred, “Well, I can’t speak for the others, but watching you parade around in swimwear is the highlight of my day.”

  He made a disgusted sound and then snapped, “Jesus Christ, learn to filter and get your fuckin’ hands off me, you troll…Pete, you said backstage, right?”

  No. I didn’t say it, I thought it…

  “Mm-hm,” I barely mumbled just as the lights came back on in time for me to see Hannah pout at Tristan who was already disappearing behind a stage curtain.

  Yep, the learning curve for girls in this school is pretty pathetic, and yep, Tristan and I are almost completely synched…

  What friends do ~ Jeff

  “Well, uh, what was I supposed to say, Jeff? He told me to be her friend, so when my friend comes to me and asks my opinion on this whole situation, I’m gonna tell her!” Katy whisper-hollered at me behind the curtains at the side of the stage.

  I grabbed her arm and towed her into and empty dressing room, not meaning to bump into someone on the other side of the curtain as I did. I shut and locked the door and then rounded on her. “Katy, when he said be her friend, I’m sure he didn’t fuckin’ mean tell his girlfriend you think he fuckin’ cheated on her! Jesus, use your head!”

  “Use my head?! Really, Jeff? You want me to use my head? Why don’t you guys pull your heads out of your collective asses and use yours?! Camie’s never been through something like this before but she’s not stupid, you know, she might not understand any of this any better than I do, but she knows he still has some kind of feelings for her and it’s really screwing with her emotions and her life! So when she asks me, her best friend and someone who supposedly knows Tristan, what his behavior might mean and how to deal with all of this, I’m gonna tell her exactly what I think it means because that’s what friends do!

  “So yes, I told her that in my opinion, Jeff, opinion…not that it was a fact, that Tristan’s behavior lately seems to be indicative of a severely guilty conscience and that it might be possible that he cheated on her and that was the real reason he broke up with her. And yes, when she told me about him going to that birthday party and asked if I thoug
ht he might’ve screwed Mia then and the night of her party, I said it was possible. Not that he did, only that it was possible. And the truth is, I honestly think that’s what happened but since you two won’t tell me for sure, I left that part out.

  “I can’t be an unbiased spectator here and Tristan knows that. That’s why he can’t trust me anymore and you know what? That hurt, Jeff! To hear one of my very best friends in the world say he doesn’t, can’t, and won’t trust me and for me to admit that he’s right really fucking hurt!” She vented and started crying, which honestly made me feel about an inch tall, but still, I gotta try to get her to let it go…for everyone’s sake.

  “But Katy, don’t you get it? Speculating on something like this without having any facts only complicates things even further and he so doesn’t need any more complications right now. He’s dealing with some serious shit and he wants to do it alone. That’s why I can’t say anything…because believe me, babe, I want to. I really wanna tell you everything, but it’s not my place. I’m the only one he’s trusting with the truth right now and I swear the only reason he told me any of it was because I pushed him to his literal breaking point, and you know what? It broke my heart to do it.

  “Besides, you know Trist doesn’t want to hurt you or your feelings…it’s not like he and I are having these secret meetings where we’re plotting his next move in his dastardly scheme to confuse the shit outta Camie and keep her from getting her driver’s license, you know? What he meant when he said just be her friend was that if you could stay out of it, that would be showing him the respect your friendship with him deserves and giving him some silent support. He’s confused too and quite honestly, he’s in a lot of pain here…probably more than she even is. I mean think about it, Katy, you know him and you also know how much he cares about Camie, so do you really think any of this is easy for him or that he’d be an asshole to her just to spite her?”