by Merry Brown
She sat across from me at the table I chose in the back corner. I wished we were sitting on one of the couches together, but a table was more practical for answering the questionnaire. She had Isadora with her, who was still ticking.
“So, where do you want to begin?” she asked me, uncharacteristically hesitating.
“Um, what about religion?” I asked.
“Okay . . . what are you?”
“I grew up Roman Catholic, but haven’t been to church much since my mom and sister died.”
“Why? I’m sorry. That’s too personal – didn’t mean to pry,” she said looking curiously at me.
“No, that’s okay. Most people probably think my lack of church attendance has an obvious cause – I was supposedly mad at God. If there really is a God who is good, how could He take them from me, along with my brother and surely my real father? But honestly, that’s not the reason I don’t go to mass anymore. It may have been in the beginning, but not anymore. More than anything I’m simply out of practice. When you don’t go for a while, it becomes a habit, not going. So I don’t. I’ll get around to going again, someday. Like maybe when – or if - I have kids.”
“Okay then, that’s how we’ll raise her,” she said with an excited wink I didn’t understand.
“Now wait just a minute, we are supposed to do this together. You’ve got to answer the next one.” If she didn’t, I’d never learn anything about her. She was use to deflecting questions and getting others to talk; she rarely revealed anything about herself. I wasn’t going to let her get away with it.
I started going down the list, making her answer questions about discipline, cloth or disposable diapers, and a variety of questions about her parenting philosophy.
“What about #9: Who should, if anyone, stay home with the baby until she is old enough to go to school?”
“That’s a good question, something to consider,” she said as she tapped her pen on the paper. “I suppose it makes a huge difference what culture you’re living in, what time period of course, and your monetary status in your culture.”
“True,” I commented, though I thought this was an odd way to begin answering the question.
“Well since we live in the 21st century in the states, given that I have plenty of money and you have too much, and given our personalities, I think I’d like to be the one who stays home with Isadora while you go out and work, doing whatever you do, if you don’t mind,” she said very thoughtfully, almost as if we were talking about our future, not some random senior seminar project.
Just then the alarm on her phone went off and we both looked at our faux baby. I put in the codes as Lizzy put her coat on to go. I hated to admit it was time to leave. Time seemed to speed by when I was with her.
I stood up to hand her Isadora and felt pulled to her like a magnet, like she was sucking me in. Her pull was so strong it almost knocked the wind right out of me.
I silently walked her to her car, wanting all the way to take her hand, her arm, to touch her in some way. We stopped at her car and she turned towards me, eyes alight.
“Thanks Will. I had a great time with you tonight.”
“Me too,” I said as I reached for her hand. I expected her to pull away, but she didn’t. The carefully constructed guard she always had around me was starting to fade.
I stared at her hand, turning it over in the light of the moon, neither of us saying a thing. There was nothing to say, no words to top what we felt at this moment.
I wanted to be with her more than I’d wanted anything in my life. She was a part of me, for some inexplicable reason, and I wanted to kiss her.
I pulled her closer to me and put my hands around her waist. Her eyes met mine and her hesitation fell away.
I could feel both of our hearts beating, the heat of her skin like a blanket. And then our lips met and I was kissing her.
Suddenly a great burst of light shot out from her chest and she crumpled to the ground. She was as limp and lifeless as a rag doll lying on the parking lot pavement. I grabbed her, scooping her in my arms, not knowing what to do.
In the next instant we were no longer in the parking lot of the coffee shop, but in a strange living room with three men and two women encircling us, their arms folded, looking alarmed and menacing.
Chapter Fifteen: Transported
My head was spinning. I was completely disoriented. Below me, still in my arms, was the lifeless Lizzy. I could see the others hovering above me, but my immediate concern was her.
Before I could get any words of help out, one of the men, who looked about my age, lifted me effortlessly with one hand and pinned me to a wall. I couldn’t move; not just because I was physically trapped but out of utter confusion and fright for Lizzy. My adrenaline was pumping hard.
One of the women kneeled over Lizzy’s body, gently hugging her. As she hugged her a radiance emanated from her body and Lizzy’s lungs instantly filled with air, her eyes slowly opening with a smile on her face.
Lizzy broke the silence.
“Thank you sis,” she said nodding to the woman. “Andrew, you can let William go. Will, please have a seat on the couch, I’ll be right back.” The stares I got ranged from unabashed curiosity to open hostility, but they all followed Lizzy as she walked out of the room, leaving me alone.
As soon as they left the room, numbed mind started to work again. I knew I wasn’t dreaming – this was far too bizarre to be a mere dream. I knew I was in the parking lot of the Daily Grind a few minutes ago. I knew I was somewhere else now, and that Lizzy seemed almost . . . dead . . . or dying . . . but she was very much alive now.
Unless I was dead, hit by a car in the parking lot. That was a possibility.
Caught in the snarl of my thoughts, trying to make sense of the impossible, Lizzy opened the door and walked up to me, slowly.
“William,” she said holding her hand out to me, “will you go on a walk with me?”
More than I wanted this mystery solved, I wanted – needed – to be with her. I was aware I was stepping into the insane, but all that mattered to me was her. Alive and well. Those few minutes when she appeared dead will forever be burned in my head.
Of course I was curious, but I knew some kind of answer would come. I took her hand, not caring where we went or what she had to say.
She led me out of the living room, through a long brightly-painted hallway. The house we were in was large and new, filled with windows, pictures, and modern furniture, high-tech gadgets in every corner. She took me through a spacious kitchen and out the sliding glass door.
The moon was full and cast its gaze on us. We walked through a garden, past a gazebo, until we reached a grove of orange trees.
She stopped, taking her hand back and said, “Will, you know I’m different from the other girls you know?”
I nodded. Ever since I saw her, experienced her that night at Sue’s party, I knew she was different. Different, but how and in what way I still couldn’t put into words, couldn’t get straight.
“I know this must be incredibly confusing and overwhelming for you. I want to start by assuring you you’re safe, here, with me. I’m not in a hurry.”
“I do feel out of it, honestly, like my equilibrium is out of whack.”
“That’s probably due to the transporting,” she stopped as if she suddenly remembered I had no idea what she was talking about. “I’m getting ahead of myself. You must have lots of questions. Let’s begin with what you want to know.” She started walking, again, through the grove.
She was inviting me in. I could ask her anything and she’d probably answer me, truthfully. I didn’t know where to start, wasn’t sure where to begin, and then I looked up and realized I had no idea where I was.
“Where are we?” I asked.
“We were in my house, and now we’re on the back part of our property.”
“Who were those people?”
“My present family, the ones I live with.”
What’s a prese
nt family? I decided to move on.
“So . . . what happened tonight? We were in the parking lot of the Daily Grind, and now we’re here? Where is here?”
“We’re about 12 miles out past Cal State. As to what happened tonight, I’m not really sure myself. This has never happened to me before, or to any of us as far as I know.”
“What hasn’t happened?” Was she saying she’d never ‘transported’ before? Unlikely, given she gave it as an explanation for my dizziness. I looked into her face, her hair shining, illuminated like a halo by the moon. She looked like an angel. Was she?
Her brilliant eyes met mine and my heart stopped. “One of our kind has never been in love with one of your kind.”
Kind? Forget that obscure reference. She said she was in love with me!
“So you’re in love with me?”
“Of course I am. And you know it.”
“Then why have you been staying away from me? What’s the problem?” I loved her and she loved me, what else mattered?
Understanding dawned in my sluggish brain.
“You said being with me was dangerous. I assumed you meant my father, but you didn’t, did you,” I stated. As soon as I said it I knew it was true.
Nothing in this world was more dangerous than him. What could she possibly mean? Did she underestimate his threat?
She looked down. Danger kept us apart, but I couldn’t see why. I could fend for myself and so could she.
“Will I know this doesn’t make sense to you, but it’s not your life, your world that’s too dangerous. If it were just your father we had to worry about, that’d be easy enough to deal with. It’s not your world, but mine. It’s too dangerous for you to be with me.”
“Why? I don’t understand. Help me understand.” As far as I was concerned, nothing would keep us apart anymore, regardless of her explanation.
“It’s because of what I am, what I do,” she said with the clear voice of a bell. She was about to open up to me; her walls were down.
“Explain, please.” I took her hand again, caressing it gently. I wanted to assure her, no matter what she thought she was, I wasn’t going anywhere. “I’m here for you Elizabeth, I’m yours. I want to know you, even if what you have to say is hard, or really out there.”
This made her laugh. She said, slowly, “I don’t think I really can.”
“What do you mean? You can’t?” Was someone threatening her? Was she part of some cult that dictated what she could and could not say? Why was she being reluctant now?
“No, not exactly. I just really don’t know what to do. For the first time ever I’m at a loss as to the best course of action.” She looked puzzled, probably mirroring my expression throughout this entire conversation. She also looked torn, pained.
“What are you trying to decide? Whether to tell me what’s going on, whether you’ll stay with me, or both.”
“Both,” she said exhaling.
“Don’t you want to be with me?”
“I do, but that’s irrelevant.” She was flustered.
“How can that be irrelevant? How can love be irrelevant?” I could feel my anger rising at the thought of her pulling away from me again.
She looked at me a long while before asking, “What do you think love is?”
Good question. I knew I loved her, but it was hard trying to put the concept into words.
“The one who loves is selfless,” she said. “I’m trying to decide how I ought to treat you, what it really means to love you.”
“I’m stronger than you know. I can take it, whatever it is. I’ve had plenty of experiences dealing with the unexplainable. Don’t worry about me. We are meant to be together.”
I was sure I was for her, but she always outshined me. She was better than I was in so many ways. Was she trying to tell me I wasn’t good enough for her? That somehow this real-life Greek goddess had condescended to be with me, and now realized her mistake?
I felt a panic attack coming on. She saw my rising anxiety and looked concerned too. Her reaction to my nerves had me almost shaking. She put her hand on my chest and said, “Peace.” And with that my anxiety flowed from my body to hers, as if she was absorbing my pain.
In the midst of this crazy night I felt calm, peaceful, just as she said.
“Lizzy,” I said, looking directly into her eyes. “I want to know you, the good and the bad and the . . . extraordinary. I want you, and whatever that entails. You know me well enough to know I’m not saying this lightly. I’ve never felt this way about anyone else.”
“And neither have I. But you don’t know what you’re asking, Will. Once I tell you the truth, there’s no going back. I wish I knew the right thing to do! My entire life the right path has been spelled out, written on a map. And then you come along. So unexpectedly . . . so wonderfully. You’ve made me see the world and its beauty in a different way, in a profoundly personal way.”
“Isn’t the truth always the right path?” I asked.
“Yes, but some things remain secret. There are deep mysteries in this world that should remain hidden. I don’t think it’s my place to lay bare my secrets to a Knower, such as you. I know this makes no sense to you, but I am genuinely conflicted. I want to share myself with you, above any other. But to do so involves such a risk, can I really ask you to take such a risk . . . for me?”
“Yes!” I shouted, feeling like she was finally coming around.
She smiled at my enthusiasm. “Yes?” she questioned. “Well, then . . . I’ll tell you as much as I can. The truth.”
Chapter Sixteen: The Truth
“Do you know what you are? What we call you?” she asked.
“Uh, human?”
“Well yes of course you’re human.”
“You are too?” I half asked, half stated.
“Yes. All of us belong to the human community, the human family. All of us are related. Not just as animals of a certain species, but as part of an actual family.”
She looked at me to make sure I was okay. I could tell she was choosing her words carefully so not to scare me—and out of some other concern I couldn’t see.
“Okay, I guess that’s true,” I said in an encouraging way, wanting her to tell me more.
“Well, you are related to almost every human as brother and sister. You are a son of Adam and Eve. I and my sisters and brothers are not. We are not daughters and sons of Adam and Eve, we are their brothers and sisters.”
I had no idea what to say. I was trying to process the words. I understood what each individual word meant, but they made no sense when I put them all together.
She saw the incredulous glaze that spread across my face. She stopped walking and sat under an orange tree, hugging her legs to herself.
I sat beside her, staring out at the night sky. Out here the stars were plentiful as they shone down on the desert below.
We were silent for a while. I had so much to say, to ask. Was she crazy? Was I?
As I thought about Lizzy’s mental state, she smiled over at me and laughed with amusement, as if she knew what I was considering.
Was she insane? To tell the truth, Lizzy was the sanest person I’d ever met. She had the ability to see what was really going on in every situation and act accordingly. She was never too hasty or too slow to act. She was quick to comfort others, but never pushy or assuming. She had an amazing ability to read body language, as she was doing right now.
I knew I could ask her anything, but did I really want to know what she was telling me?
What were my options? I knew I was in love with her. I knew I only wanted to be with her. I tried to forget her, tried to go back to being friends. But once you’ve seen beauty and goodness itself, how could you go back? Go back to what?
I loved her. I wanted to be with her, but I knew I didn’t need her. I felt whole in an incomprehensible way when I was in her presence. But when I was away from her I didn’t feel lost or incomplete. No. Time spent with her made me better, made me more me.
I was uncovering and finding myself more and more each day.
I was in love with her, not with a love that was akin to sickness, but health.
I wanted to be with her not just for how she made me feel, but because I wanted to give to her. I saw how she looked at me. I noticed her radiance intensify when I was with her.
I’ve been watching her long enough to see the difference, though she tried to hide it from me. She was a giver, not a receiver. She was selfless; never expecting to gain anything in return for the constant love and affection she showed those blessed enough to make her acquaintance.
I looked over at her as she took in the sweetness of the orchard.
“Lizzy?”
“Yes?” she said as she turned her face to me, tears in her eyes.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Now I’d done it. I’d hurt her. I’d offended the sweetest creature on the planet through my silence and selfishness. She shouldn’t be with me. I would never be as virtuous as she was. Never. Though she would only bring me up, I could only drag her down.
“It’s not you, silly,” she said with an easy laugh in her voice, “it’s the beauty of this valley. I hear the kids in school degrading this landscape with words like barren, dirty, ugly. How they don’t see. They really are blind. I see what’s really all around us, and sometimes the only rational response is tears. Tears of thanksgiving for life and the immense beauty of it all.”
“Lizzy, I don’t want you to feel obligated to tell me anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. If you don’t want to say anymore, I’ll understand.”
Though my curiosity was raging, I wouldn’t push her. I wouldn’t demand answers. I knew her well enough to know whatever she chose to tell me would be the truth.
“You can trust me. I’d never do anything to hurt you.” Not that I was sure she had any vulnerabilities.
“You know the story of Adam and Eve,” she stated with a gleam in her eye and quoted from Genesis:
“‘And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So God created man in his own image; male and female created he them.