by Merry Brown
‘Now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden? And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden: But of the fruit of the tree which [is] in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.
‘And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.
‘And when the woman saw that the tree [was] good for food, and that it [was] pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make [one] wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.
‘And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they [were] naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.
‘And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God amongst the trees of the garden.’”
“Well it’s true. I was there the day Beauty appeared. I was there the day the monster came. And I was there on that terrible day when they were sentenced to die.”
She was in the Garden of Eden? Impossible. The story of Adam, Eve, and the snake was pure myth – right?
I wasn’t sure I was going to make it through this explanation if I took what she said as gospel truth. I’d just have to listen as if she was telling me a fairytale.
She knew what I was thinking, as usual, but she didn’t challenge the perplexed look I could feel on my face.
She took a long breath and continued.
“My brothers and sisters stayed in the garden for a while. But as time passed we saw what was happening to Adam and Eve’s children. So much destruction. So much despair and hopelessness. They seemed to be unable to recognize the loveliness in and around them. They could not see their true condition. They didn’t know that Beauty will redeem the world.”
I muttered back, “Beauty will redeem the world.”
“Yes!” she said with a fervent conviction. “We realized that Adam and Eve’s children needed our help. Since we could see the marks of the beautiful all around, we decided to help them, you, see it too. Our motto became ‘Beauty will redeem us all.’ That’s our mission. To show Knowers beauty and thereby crushing the curse of the beast.”
“What’s a ‘Knower’?”
“You are, and all your kin. We call you Knowers because you ate from the forbidden tree of the knowledge of good and evil.”
Her story, her explanation … well I just didn’t know what to make of it.
I stood up and followed her as she walked back to the house, both aware of the step we’d taken. I wanted so much to take her in my arms and kiss her, to feel her warmth, her solidness.
Could I kiss her? It came back to me how this whole affair began. We kissed and she shown like a star, collapsing and bringing us here.
“Lizzy, what happened tonight . . . when we kissed?” The thought of kissing her had my blood racing again.
“I’m not sure. Like I said, none of us has ever been in love with a Knower, and certainly have never kissed one!” she said as if that should be perfectly clear.
“Is that something we could do again? Did it hurt you?” I added with concern.
“Hurt is not the right word. Over the years we have developed a way to channel the bad out of Knowers. This method is intensified with touch. What did you feel when we kissed?”
“An incredible rush, the highest high I’ve ever experienced,” I answered truthfully.
“Not that I’ve ever kissed anyone before, but an ordinary kiss doesn’t usually result in such an intense reaction. When our lips touched, the guard I hold up between me and the Knowers cracked. All your pain and those around overloaded me. It was more than I could absorb or bear so I shut down.”
“And that brought you here, to your home?”
“Yes . . . it’s kind of a long story.”
Lizzy looked worn-out. I could wait for that explanation.
“Do you think we could do that again? Can I kiss you now?” It was almost too easy to tell her what was on my mind, what I really wanted.
“I think we better wait until I figure out how to stay put when you kiss me,” she said as she glanced at me sideways, her eyelashes framing her lovely chocolate eyes. I sighed, but nodded in agreement.
I once thought I was the most cursed person on earth. Now I knew I was the luckiest.
Chapter Seventeen: Enjoying Liz
Lizzy led me back to her two-story stucco house. I didn’t know what I expected to find but was shocked to see her siblings acting, well, quite normally. Her two sisters were engaged in a card game they called Hand and Foot, one of her brothers was on a computer, one had his ipod on as he looked through the newspaper, and the other was doing homework.
As we passed them they all acknowledged my presence with smiles or nods. Lizzy looked as if she might be embarrassed, though I wasn’t sure why she would be.
As we went through the living room, I noticed the time. It was almost midnight.
“I can’t believe it’s so late. I guess I should go.”
I didn’t want to leave, though I knew it was time to return to reality and go home. But how would I get there? My car was still at the coffee shop.
“I wish you didn’t have to go,“ she sighed. Your car is out front. Andrew went and got it for you.”
Shoot. I was hoping to at least have the car ride with her. I now noticed my backpack waiting for me at the front door.
“It’s time to feed Isadora,” she said as she retrieved our baby from her backpack. I’d completely forgotten, my mind still thick with confusion. She pushed in the codes and laid the baby down on the table in the entryway.
She stood directly in front of me, making sure we were eye to eye. “Will, I want you to not worry about what happened tonight. I wish you could forget it, not think about it, but I know that’s not going to happen. So, please, put the mysteries in the back of your mind. In time it will make some sense, I hope.”
“Okay,” I said, but she was unconvinced.
“I mean it William, for me, please? Promise me. Promise me you won’t waste your energies trying to unravel what I’ve told you, shown you, because – believe me – you’ll just get it wrong anyway. I don’t want to be a burden to you.”
She was sincerely worried for me. Worried what I’d do or think when I was alone tonight without her gifts to keep me together. Worried she’d be a burden to me? It would take her some getting used to being loved and cared for.
I pulled her close, enclosing my arms about her. I kissed the top of her head and pulled back slightly to see her face. “I promise to try,” I said with a chuckle, “but you’ve got to promise me something back.”
“What is it?” She looked confused.
“You must promise to not worry about me. I’m stronger than you give me credit for.”
She looked down as if I was asking the impossible.
“Try,” I whispered, pulling her back to my chest.
“I’ll try,” she replied.
We walked hand in hand to my car, our moon lighting the way.
“See you in the morning,” she said, nudging me in the side.
“You keep our baby alive, okay.”
She laughed a laugh of pure joy. Both of us were filled with a sense of profound relief. No matter what tomorrow held or what dangers were out there for us, we would work through it, together.
Chapter Eighteen: Living
About two miles from home I heard the siren.
I was on such a high I didn’t notice I was going way too fast. But why was I being stopped? Something must be wrong.
I pulled over and got my information ready. The officer came to my window and I handed him my license, re
gistration, and insurance card.
“That’s not necessary Mr. Darby.” Of course not. “I’m telling you to go home, now.”
“Yes sir,” I said as I tried to keep my revulsion to myself. My father must’ve had someone following me, someone I eluded unknowingly with Lizzy.
As the officer drove off I was brought back, hard, to the ground. My world now existed in two spheres of which there couldn’t be a starker contrast: The good and sublime with Lizzy and some rung of hell at home with my father and his goons.
It was late when I walked in the front door. I didn’t know what to expect, but nothing welcomed, that’s for sure. Much to my surprise and supreme delight I read the note left for me in the foyer written by his secretary:
William, your father was called away on business and won’t be back until early January. Your father has put a sufficient amount of money into your personal account to cover your needs.
Since the accident my father has never celebrated Christmas. No decorations, no gifts, no acknowledgement of the season – to me at least.
Before the accident, December was the best month of the year. My parents were way into Christmas. My mom had a Christmas tree for every room. The entire month my parents played Christmas music, hosted parties, and had “secret” outings we all knew about to buy us presents. Our house practically glowed from the thousands of lights strung about it.
And then the big day would finally arrive. I remember waking up to the smell of my dad’s famous Danish sweet bread baking and the sound of the O.J. squeezer grinding away. I’d meet my brother and sister at the top of the stairs, dressed in the P.J.’s my mom gave us the night before - the last pair she bought me were covered in NFL team logos. We had to wait, salivating with anticipation, until they were ready for us.
Christmas day was always just our family. The help had the day off, and it felt great, only the five of us in the house. It would take my dad forever to set the camera up just right for the annual family picture. He’d set the timer and barely make it to wrap his arms around mom and smile.
It was like magic. It was.
The first Christmas after the accident I hoped would bring by father back, at least a little. I woke up in my last years’ P.J.’s and wandered to the top of the stairs, all by myself. I sat there forever, until I couldn’t take it anymore. I broke down and cried my eyes out.
In the middle of my breakdown my father came out of his room with blood-shot eyes. He took one look at me and said, “What a cry baby! You make me sick. Get back to your room.”
And I did. I spent the rest of the day there, alone. That was the last Christmas I spent in my house. I told Michael what happened, and he told his mom. Ever since then I’ve had a standing invitation for all holidays at the Richardsons’.
Still, every December I couldn’t help but hope this would be the year he’d snap out of it. But every year I was filled with disappointment and growing resentment at myself for still caring.
Since that first Christmas he wasn’t around anyway. He always went on some kind of business trip, for the entire month!
When I was younger I was watched by hired help, all of whom never ceased to creep me out. Though I loathed my father, I had the feeling that no one would hurt me as long as he was around. But those various individuals who acted as my guardians, well, I was never too sure of them.
That was only the first years. By the time I was fourteen, he would just leave. That first December alone was incredible. I had the house all to myself. No oppressive father, no scary business associates. Just peace and freedom.
December became my favorite month again. I could tolerate the other 11 months because I knew it would be here, and I’d be able to breathe. The poison of his presence would wash away when I awoke on December 1st and I was alone.
Of course this meant January was the worst of all months. My New Year’s resolution was always the same: live to tell the tale.
My father never talked about where he went in December or what he did. He wouldn’t mention when he was about to go or bother to say goodbye. In fact, he wouldn’t even leave the refrigerator stocked with food. He left me money; I guess he thought that was more than sufficient.
I reread the note, turning it over. He left over a week early; how could I stand so much good fortune in one day?
I walked around the house, half in a daze and wanting to verify the truth of his disappearance for myself. My hand was on his office door when my cell rang.
“Hello?” I was so startled I didn’t check the caller I.D.
“Hey Will, I was up reading about Isadora and wanted to see how you are doing. Everything okay with you?”
I knew she was worried I got home and started freaking out. But then she asked, “Did you see your father tonight?” What an odd question.
“No, and I won’t for a while.” I was about to explain why when I thought of another question. “Why do you want to know if I’ve seen him?”
She was silent.
“Lizzy, you still there?”
“Yes, I . . . I can’t really give you a good answer right now. Maybe later, in time. You were about to say something else?” She sounded stressed.
“Just some great news. He’s gone. He usually goes on a business trip for the month of December, but this year he left a week early. I won’t see him again until January if my luck holds.”
“That’s wonderful news.” She sounded immensely relieved. “Well, I just wanted to hear your voice, to tell you I miss you. Goodnight Will, sweet dreams.”
I usually don’t remember my dreams, but when I awoke I remembered dreaming of walking with her through the orange grove, her hair shinning, a gift from the night sky, as if tiny stars were imbedded in the strands.
I lay there, thinking about Lizzy, about us, until I saw the time. I popped out of bed, hurdled myself through the shower, grabbing breakfast as I ran out the door to my car. The sooner I got to school the sooner I’d be with her.
I was in such haste to make it to school on time that I arrived early. She spied me as she drove in, her smile piercing my heart. I went over and opened her car door, offering my hand. She willingly took it as we walked to class.
This being the week of human sexuality, who knew what embarrassing topic might be pulled out today?
As we sat in class, I read the title of the Power Point. It was entitled “Safe Sex 101.”
Great. This wasn’t exactly what I wanted to talk about with Lizzy at my side. It’s not that I’m particularly embarrassed by the subject, but Lizzy and I were so far from that, if it were even possible, I felt uncomfortable.
Lizzy leaned over to me, “There’s nothing significantly ‘safe’ about the ‘safe sex’ they’re teaching,” she said with disgust in her voice. This caught me off guard.
“What do you mean?” I whispered back.
Just then the presentation began. “I’ll tell you later,” she said, obviously mad. Almost fuming.
I wasn’t sure what angered her about “safe sex” but I was very curious. I wouldn’t forget to ask.
School was now close to pure joy. I was no longer stuck watching Lizzy with others, playing friend.
There were many stares, giggles, nods, and shocked expressions as we walked down the hall. I had no idea and could care less what others were thinking when they saw us together.
I was reminded how I use to regard this gorgeous woman. How could I have not noticed her for so long? I was an idiot.
I wondered now if the others at my school saw Lizzy as ‘friend material’ only and wondered why I was with her, when, honestly, I could date just about anyone in this school. I wasn’t even limited to high school girls – of course my father’s recent date for me had been spread about BHS and this school immediately. Thanks Facebook.
What was going to be torture, ballroom dancing in gym class, turned to pleasure in her arms. Since we got to choose our partners to practice the moves we learned, Lizzy and I paired up.
She obviously kne
w the dances prior to learning them here. This made me wonder in which lifetime she learned them. I was caught in a fit of abstraction as I allowed myself to think of her mystery. Lizzy felt my absence of mind and brought me back down to earth with a laugh.
“What?” I asked. Surely she wasn’t laughing at my dancing.
“Stay with me now and think about me later,” she said smiling. Wow was she good. She was amazingly adept at reading the body language of others. She knew the difference between someone being silent and someone being checked-out, while dancing!
And so I focused. Her frame, the way her body felt next to mine, the curve of her waist, the heat from her chest, the heat from her blush as she saw me concentrate on being with her in the moment. I never thought I’d actually be grateful for gym class.
Gym was almost over, and Ms. Codwell made everyone switch partners. I was now dancing with Laura, and Lizzy was with Jarrod. Laura was a nice girl in my Spanish II class. What a marked difference it was to dance with another. Laura was graceful too, but it wasn’t the same.
As I turned Laura around, I spied Lizzy and Jarrod as he stepped on her foot. I suppressed a laugh. I was surprised to feel no jealousy. Not one trace. I trusted Lizzy, regardless if her partner wanted something from her. And honestly, only a fool would not know with whom he was dancing.
I had to work after school, and she had a family obligation. I invited her over to my house to grab a pizza, chat, and do homework if we must.
Her reaction to my invite puzzled me. “I’m not sure . . . .”
Did she forget my father and his associates had vacated the premises for the next month?
“You know, no one is there, my father and all who work for him are gone,” I replied, still confused.
“I know that . . . and that’s what I’m not sure about. The way I feel about you, my feelings. They are so new and . . . intense. I don’t know what it all means, or what I should do, which makes me feel blind. I really do usually know what to do, but this is new territory for me,” she said with a sheepish grin.