A Father's Promise (Intimate Moments)

by Evanick, Marcia

  She noticed her father was starting to use the cane the hospital had given him. He was getting around the house much better and he was even using it on the short walks he and Ellis were taking lately. The nursery’s fields provided her father with exercise, sunshine and fresh country air. Yesterday she had had one of her employees travel every path throughout the property making sure there weren’t any ankle-breaking holes that her father might trip in. Thomas’s independence was returning by leaps and bounds. She guessed it was one more thing she had to thank Ellis for.

  “That sounds like a good idea.” Thomas tilted his head, but continued to face where she was standing. “What do you say, Ellis? Are you up for some fresh air?”

  She felt the flush staining her cheeks turn bright brilliant red. Her father had known all along where Ellis was, and exactly how close they had been. She reached for a pot and busied herself by dumping in the frozen corn as Ellis and her father put on their jackets and left the kitchen through the back door.

  An hour later dinner was done and the cleanup was nearly completed. Having Ellis share their meal had brought a range of topics to the conversation that had been missing for quite a while. Six months to be precise. At least Ellis’s presence guaranteed some form of conversation. Her father had even begun to ask her about her day, the nursery and some of the employees he knew. Thomas hadn’t talked about the nursery since his wife died. It was a painful subject for him because her mother’s whole life had revolved around her family and her business. Julia had loved the nursery.

  Thomas also was an endless well of stories about the town and people who knew Ellis’s mother. He told countless tales about Catherine but said very little about her parents. Sydney suspected that Catherine’s parents might not have been very loving and that her father was trying to spare Ellis any unnecessary pain. As for Ellis, he appeared to soak up every word her father uttered about the young, beautiful and shy Catherine Carlisle.

  “Are you sure you won’t mind, Ellis?” Thomas was relaxing and digesting his dinner over his second cup of coffee. “I told the guys that I could only stay for an hour or two.”

  “Stay as long as you like, Thomas.” Ellis, who had already finished his second cup of coffee, winked at her. “I can run you into town and then come back here and get some work done.”

  Sydney dried the last pot and put it away. Ellis had been winking at her all through dinner. Each and every time he did, she blushed. It was a stupid schoolgirl reaction, one she vowed not to happen again. The vow was shattered the next time he winked. “I can drop you off, Dad.” It annoyed her how her father asked Ellis instead of her to drive him into town so he could spend some time at the station with his friends. It was nice of Ellis to instantly agree, but it still bothered her.

  “You have the nursery to run, Syd. I’ve kept you away from it long enough.” Thomas pushed his cup into the center of the table. “Ellis doesn’t mind, do you?”

  “Not at all.” Ellis turned to her and smiled.

  Her comment was cut off by the ringing of the phone. With a glare toward Ellis she walked over to the wall phone and picked it up. “St. Claire residence.”

  A male voice that was deep and pleasant came over the line. “May I speak to Ellis Carlisle, please.”

  “Whom shall I say is calling?” Ellis had had only two phone calls while she had been home. Both were from his housekeeper, Rita McCall, and both times Trevor had wanted to speak to his dad. She glanced over at Ellis, who returned her look with one of curiosity.

  “This is Frank Nesbitt from Alpha Laboratories.”

  Suddenly, she felt as if the rug were being pulled from under her feet and she rested her gaze on Ellis. Alpha Laboratories was the lab Ellis was using to see if there was a match for Trevor’s bone marrow transplant—the lab that would determine if Thomas was Ellis’s biological father. The results were in. “One moment, please.”

  Something in her look must have tipped Ellis off because he was on his feet before she even spoke. She held the phone toward him as he walked across the room. “It’s Alpha Laboratories.”

  Ellis took the phone, turned his back and said, “This is Ellis Carlisle.” The strain in his usually beautiful voice echoed throughout the room.

  Sydney had noticed how his hands trembled when he reached for the phone but she didn’t blame him for turning his back. Ellis needed some measure of privacy. She was surprised that he hadn’t taken the call in the other room. If it had been her child’s life riding on the results, she would have.

  “Yes, I see.” Ellis’s voice turned bland now as he spoke to the lab technician.

  This was it. This was what they had been waiting for. She walked over to her father and gently placed her hand upon his shoulder. Thomas’s hand was strong and warm as it reached up and covered hers. She stared at Ellis’s back and tried to read his body language. She couldn’t. His shoulders didn’t slump, nor was he punching the air in a show of success.

  “Yes, of course.” There was a long pause before Ellis concluded the call with, “Yes, thank you very much for staying late to give me the results.” Another pause, and then a simple, “I will.”

  She watched as Ellis lowered the phone. As she studied his back, which he kept carefully turned toward them, she realized the results hadn’t been what Ellis had been hoping for. She gave her father’s shoulder a light squeeze and waited for Ellis to tell them what the lab technician had said.

  Ellis stood there for a good two minutes with the phone dangling from his hand before he spoke. “There was no match.” Ellis stared at the cabinet door in front of him. “You were right, Thomas. You aren’t my father. My mother lied on the birth certificate.”

  Sydney felt the tears run down her face. Trevor’s miracle wasn’t going to happen.

  Thomas fumbled across the table, located the napkins and handed her one. “I’m sorry, Ellis. What can we do to help you and your son?”

  She wiped at her tears and swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. “Yes, Ellis, what can we do? What’s your next step?”

  Ellis’s head slowly went back and forth and his shoulders finally slumped beneath the disappointment. “There is no next step. This was it. This was my last hope.”

  She refused to believe it. Ellis couldn’t give up now. “There has to be something else we can do.”

  Ellis did turn around then. His pain and anguish was clearly etched across his face. “Thomas’s part is done. As for you, Sydney, I gave them permission to add your name and blood to the national donor list. Who knows, maybe you’ll match someone else.” Ellis slowly replaced the phone. “As for me, I’m heading home. It will take me twenty minutes to pack and then I’ll be out of here.”

  She didn’t like the way he looked. His voice was raw, yet his eyes were perfectly dry. Ellis had the look of a man who had been defeated. Her heart was breaking. “I...”

  “Let me finish, Syd. I want to thank both of you for your amazing hospitality and generosity under the circumstances.”

  “Ellis, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be traveling right now.” Thomas pushed his chair back and stood up. “I might be blind, but I can still see certain things. You’re in no condition to drive after receiving that news. There’s no use rushing home to your son, he will be asleep before you even get there. Why don’t you wait until morning before heading home?”

  “You’ve been kind enough, Thomas. I really don’t want to impose any longer.”

  “We never thought you were imposing, Ellis. You are the son of a dear childhood friend.” Thomas picked up his cane and maneuvered himself around a chair and toward the entryway. “In my line of work I’ve seen what upset people do behind the wheel, Ellis. It’s not a pretty sight. Ask yourself who would take care of Trevor should you wrap yourself around a telephone pole because you were too distressed to handle a car properly.” Thomas stopped in the entryway. “I’ll see you both at breakfast.”

  With a heavy heart, Sydney watched her father leave.
The man who had caused the accident the night her mother died had been upset because his wife had just left him for another man. He also had been legally drunk. It had been an deadly combination. One her father knew all too well.

  She glanced over at the man who had slipped into her heart without her permission. The thought of him wrapping his car around a pole as her father had said made her tremble inside. “Will you please stay? If you leave early enough, you can still have breakfast with Trevor.”

  “I’ll stay, Sydney, stop worrying.” Ellis reached for his jacket that was hanging by the back door. “I need some fresh air.”

  Sydney watched him go. He wasn’t going to drive while he was so upset, which was what she and her father had wanted. He was hurting, yet he hadn’t asked her to comfort him. She shouldn’t allow Ellis’s need to be alone hurt her, but it did. She and Ellis weren’t lovers. She liked to think they could have been friends if the circumstances had been different. They were just two people who were attracted to each other and who had shared a few feverish kisses. There was no reason why Ellis would need her shoulder to lean on. No reason at all.

  How could she offer Ellis comfort when in the dark places in her heart she had been praying that Thomas wasn’t really his father? Her tears were for Trevor and his lost miracle. The pain in her heart was for a man she’d come to care for. The man she longed to help.

  Outside, Ellis studied the stars as he walked the paths through the fields behind Thomas’s house. He and Thomas had walked these same paths many times in the past several days. Now he walked them and railed against the heavens, the Fates and the injustice of it all. Thomas was right. He was in no shape to get behind the wheel and speed home to his son. His arrival home wasn’t going to change a thing. There was no miracle for Trevor.

  Past experience told him the tears would come after the anger. He had to work through the anger, but he didn’t know if he could this time. Tears left him weak, while anger gave him strength. He had always used that strength to fight another day, but this time it was different. He knew what he was fighting for, he just didn’t know who to fight any longer. He was out of enemies, out of options and out of hope.

  He shouldn’t have left Sydney like that. She had been upset and crying, but he couldn’t stay. He needed her too much. For the first time since his son’s illness was diagnosed, he wanted someone to comfort him. Someone to lean on and rail against the Fates with him. He wanted that person to be Sydney.

  He couldn’t ask it of her. He was leaving in the morning. Trevor was his first responsibility. There was no room in his life for a woman like Sydney. It wouldn’t be fair to her, or any other woman, to take on what he would be facing in the future. Her look of distress when he had finally turned around to face her and Thomas told him how much she already cared. Sydney’s heart was already involved, but he had no love to spare. Trevor needed all his attention, all his love.

  Ellis walked for another hour over the same paths. He used the light of the full moon to guide him, and his anger to speed him on. Slowly but surely the anger abated and he made his way to the patio outside the kitchen door. The lights inside the house were burning. He knew Sydney was still up, probably waiting for him.

  He couldn’t face her now. He would be too tempted to find comfort in her arms and in her bed. He had to make it through one more night in the same house with her before he could leave with a clear conscience.

  Ellis lowered himself to the small bench beneath the light. Sydney had used the same bench to take off her work boots the first night he was here. He leaned his head against the clapboard siding of the house and closed his eyes. He needed a plan. Any plan to help Trevor. He needed to do something. He needed to keep busy.

  His usually active and creative mind drew a blank. A dark scary blank. He didn’t know which way to turn. Every avenue had a Dead End sign posted on it. He tried one path after another and got the same results. Nothing but darkness.

  He felt tears slip down his face but kept trying another path, any path. His son needed him. Trevor was counting on him to pull a miracle out of some imaginary hat. The tears came faster as another Dead End sign loomed in front of him. He had promised his son everything would be all right and he had never once broken a promise to him.

  He heard the back door open, but didn’t open his eyes. He knew it was Sydney. He could feel her warmth and smell the soft floral fragrance of her perfume. The bench gave a small creak as she silently sat down beside him. He prayed that she wouldn’t say anything. He was teetering on the edge. The tears rolling down his face were just the beginning. The dam surrounding his heart was beginning to crack.

  Sydney didn’t make a sound or move for five minutes. He was meticulously shoring up the dam only to have the whole thing crumble with the simplest of gestures— when she reached out and took his one hand in hers. The tremble in her fingers pushed him over the edge.

  With a rough groan he pulled Sydney into his arms, buried his face in her hair and sobbed his heart out.

  Sydney paced the kitchen like some expectant father in a maternity ward. She had heard Ellis moving around in his room earlier, and by the sounds she knew he had been packing. Any minute now he was going to be coming down to say goodbye. She had one chance left to offer Ellis and Trevor hope. Even if it was only a small sliver of hope.

  When she had come down earlier to put on some coffee, she had found her father sitting at the table in the predawn darkness. He looked as if he had spent a sleepless night too. She had kissed her father’s cheek and told him she had a plan. Thomas had wanted to know what it was, but she’d told him he would have to wait until Ellis came down.

  Last night when Ellis broke down in her arms, she knew she had to think of something. Ellis had been crying for his son and the miracle that hadn’t happened. Her tears had been for the little boy she’d never met and Ellis. She had held Ellis for a good forty minutes before they came into the house and went to their separate bedrooms. There had been no heated kisses to torment her night.

  She had spent the night curled in a chair in front of the window, staring out into the night and thinking. The plan came to her around four in the morning. It wasn’t a foolproof plan, but it was something. She could offer the man she had come to care for at least one thing. She could offer him hope.

  The sound of Ellis coming down the stairs stopped her pacing. When he stepped into the kitchen, she could tell he hadn’t slept, either.

  She tried to smile at Ellis. “I just made some coffee, would you care for some?”

  “No thank you, Sydney. I want to get an early start. I’ll pick up a cup when I stop for gas.”

  So much for pleasantries. She wasn’t going to get Ellis to sit down. “I’ve been thinking a lot about your situation and I think I know a solution. At least it might be an answer if my father agrees to help out.”

  “Of course I’ll help,” Thomas said. “Just tell me what to do.”

  Ellis looked unconvinced. “I know you both want to help, but there isn’t anything you can do unless you talk to everyone you know and get them to give a blood sample and to become registered on the National Marrow Donor Program. If more people volunteer to become donors, there’s a better chance that a match will be found.”

  “We’ll do that gladly, but that wasn’t what I was thinking.” Sydney took the last sip of her coffee and placed the empty cup on the counter. “The one question that has been bugging me is why your mother named Thomas St. Claire as the father of her baby. I think I now know why she did that.”

  “Why?” Ellis’s curiosity was at least piqued.

  “For some reason she didn’t want to name your real father...possibly she was afraid, I just don’t know. Catherine knew she would be raising you alone and that if something should happen to her, the state would check the birth certificate and notify your father. Your mother and my father had been neighbors and good friends. She trusted Thomas, so she used his name as a safeguard. She knew my father, who always loved children, woul
d take you in and raise you as his own.” She stopped next to her father’s chair and placed her hand on his shoulder. “And she was right to think so. If he took me into his home, a complete stranger, he would have taken Catherine Carlisle’s son.”

  “My mother had no idea that Thomas would have taken me in or not,” Ellis countered. “Thomas was only twenty-one years old when she listed him as my father.”

  “Catherine knew I would have taken you in and raised you as my own, Ellis.” Thomas slowly nodded his head as if he was finally understanding something.

  “How?”

  “I told her.”

  “What?” Ellis appeared just as startled as she was by that confession. “What do you mean you told her? You knew she was pregnant?”

  “No, I didn’t know she was pregnant at the time. Looking back, I guess I should have known.” Thomas wearily rubbed his unshaven jaw. “One of the last conversations we had was about children and the future. She asked me if I ever wanted any children and I told her I wanted a houseful. I remember telling her I wanted Thanksgiving dinner to be so crowded that it would take a twenty-five-pound turkey and a kids’ table set up in the living room to handle it all.” Thomas seemed saddened by the memory. “She asked me what I would do if my wife and I couldn’t have any children of our own. I told her we’d adopt. I said there were plenty of children who needed a good loving home who wouldn’t mind being crowded when eating Thanksgiving dinner.”

  She was right. Catherine had used Thomas as a safeguard against the uncertain future. Her father had thought about adoption long before she had shown up on the scene. She had to wonder why he hadn’t adopted any kids before she had come along or even after she had arrived on the scene. She’d think about that one later. For now, she had to convince Ellis to give her idea a try.