Time Owed

by Debra Kayn

  Desiree swiped a finger under each eye. "Shut up."

  "Don't be sad. I hate how hard you've had it lately. Take this setback as a time for you to regroup and do something you want with the bar." Katie nudged her with her hip. "Come on. Let's go upstairs and start looking at the situation realistically and make a plan."

  "Great," Desiree mumbled, climbing the stairs.

  Caught in her own personal hell, she rather tell Katie how turning the bar into something better would never happen. She had no idea if Merk would blackmail her, get rid of her, or force her to close the bar. She understood Merk could do whatever he wanted and she was powerless to stop him.

  He could even rip her friendship with Katie apart, considering Katie obeyed all the rules Moroad set up for her.

  "Just keep telling yourself that besides the door and the front windows, everything else is salvageable." Katie sat down on the couch. "What do customers really need? A counter to sit or stand at and drinks. The rest can come later once you have windows and a lockable door."

  Desiree walked over to the half kitchen and stood by the sink. She fingered a velvety leaf of the only plant she'd ever kept alive longer than a week. The fragile leaf came off in her hand.

  "Great," she muttered, dropping the leaf in the sink. "Even my plant hates me."

  This morning, everything seemed normal. She planned to work, ignore her unsettled feelings toward Merk, and forget how she wasted her teenage years and five of her adult years fantasizing about him returning.

  Reality sucked.

  She tapped the edge of the counter with her fingernail. Gambling was the only sure way to earn money fast. "I can't even play pool."

  "Besides new felt, I don't think anything is wrong with the table downstairs," said Katie.

  "Dammit, stop." The burst of anger whipped through Desiree leaving her jumpy. "I shouldn't have to wait or spend money to fix everything. This should never have happened. Normal people do not have bottle rockets thrown at their building or...or sleep with a felon."

  Katie stayed silent. Desiree let her chin fall to her chest. Incapable of paying for the needed repairs or stopping her feelings toward Merk, she wanted to wreak havoc on his plans for her.

  "I'm sorry," Katie said, tears coming to her eyes.

  Desiree shook her head. In her anger, she'd insulted and hurt Katie who called the Moroad MC her family. "I didn't mean that, K-girl. I'm just..."

  Weeks of sleeping with her, supporting her, consoling her, Merk had finally shown his true hand. He'd hurt her. The game he played made no sense. She couldn't even understand his rules. He gambled with her life and for the first time, she couldn't rely on her skill or brains to win.

  She walked into the living and sat on the couch. What would she lose if she shared her troubles with Merk to Katie?

  Her bar.

  Her livelihood.

  Her lifestyle

  Federal.

  She squeezed her eyes closed for three seconds and inhaled sharply. She never bet on a risky gamble. "I'm sorry for yelling, but this whole day sucks and I'm frustrated. Someone blew up my building, my home. I always had Pop around to make sure everything ran smoothly. I don't want to be the one responsible and I'm scared. What's going to happen next?"

  "I love you." Katie leaned over and one-armed her. "You'll get through this, and I'll be—"

  Merk walked into the room, glanced at Katie before locking eyes with Desiree. She straightened and shifted her body away from Katie. The questioning look only made her feel guilty and she hadn't done a thing.

  She'd kept his damn secret.

  "Jacko is borrowing Cam's truck and a few of the guys are coming over. They're picking up Lola and having her go to the hardware store to buy plywood to cover the door and windows. We'll make sure the building is secure, so nobody gets in while you have the repairs made." Merk walked over to the couch, stood at the end, and put his hand on Desiree's shoulder.

  She stood, grabbed her purse, and pulled out the seventy-six dollars she had on her. "I'll go down and get the rest that you need for the plywood out of the cash register."

  Merk crossed his arms refusing to take the money. "No need."

  "I'm not going to let you pay for the wood."

  "I've already told you, I'm paying for the repairs." Merk leaned forward and gave his attention to Katie. "Know any contractors?"

  "Ben Muttler of Muttler construction. He's a nice guy and I think that's who Ink and Lilly used for the Sterling Building," said Katie.

  Merk nodded in approval. "Do you think you can have him come over here and give Desi a bid on new windows and repairing the framework?"

  "Absolutely. I'll go back to Silver Girls and get the number from Lilly and give him a call." Katie stood. "Do you need anything else?"

  "Katie, you don't have to do all this for me." Desiree sat back down. The weight of someone else in control of her bar rubbed her the wrong way.

  "It's no problem. I have time before I need to go to work tonight. I'll either come back or give you a call with what I find out from Ben." Katie leaned over, hugged Desiree, and then stretched to kiss Merk on the cheek. "Talk to you both in a bit."

  Unbelievable.

  Merk had her bent over backwards, threatening to have her arrested for gambling, and refused to allow her to pay for a stupid load of lumber. The hair on the back of her neck tickled. She gripped the soft spot between shoulder and head, kneading the tense muscle. With all the worry about the bar and having some place to live, she'd pushed away the reason her problems quadrupled.

  "Why would Reds want to kill me if all they want from me is money? Blowing a hole in my building and taking away my ability to work and earn the money they want doesn't make sense?" She grimaced as a nerve shot down her back. "I can't even find a contract in the office documenting anything between Reds and Pop. He always kept every single piece of paper. Even the..."

  Of course, Merk knew Pop kept track of their illegal gambling. He broke into the office without her knowing and stole all the evidence he needed to make her compliant to his sick plan.

  "Any business done with Reds would be a verbal agreement." Merk led her to the couch and sat beside her. He slipped his hand under her hair.

  "Don't." She jerked away from him, but he held on.

  His fingers dug into her muscles. The profound pleasure at the massage had her rounding her shoulders and accepting the comfort of his hands.

  "Then, how do I contact someone from Reds. I need to discuss what they're doing and explain how it has nothing to do with me." She tilted her head side to side. "They had no right to ruin my business. This threat...needs to stop."

  His grip on her neck tightened. "You're going to stay the fuck away from them."

  She winced, pulling away.

  He held his hands up. "Lean back, I'll go lighter."

  She stood and moved around the coffee table. "My neck's fine."

  She totally lied. Her muscles remained tight, even her scalp hurt.

  "Please tell me what I can do to stop Reds from blowing up my bar again. If they want money, I can get them money. Not right now, but I can pick up a few pool games a week." She shot him a glance. "You're not going to force me to stop playing pool, too, are you?"

  "Right now, you need to put your safety first. That means no pool." Merk clasped his hands behind his head. "Moroad will take care of Reds. There's a meeting tomorrow night and we'll discuss our options on how to move forward with them. Until then, nothing has changed. We'll get a jump on fixing the bar and you'll probably be open for business in a week."

  "There's more that needs fixed besides the windows." She sighed. "All the tables are ruined. I need to order more stock, and there's no way I can do all of that at once. I'm going to have to bring the beer in first. At least the distributers bill me the following month. It'll take me awhile to earn enough to bring the bar back to the level Pop had it and I can't do that without opening the bar."

  "You'll order everything you need." Merk
lowered his voice. "I'll have cash for you tomorrow. You'll put it in your bank account, and nobody needs to know where the money came from."

  "I'm not owing you. At this point, you're no better than Reds loaning my dad money, which started this whole mess." She looked away and blew out her breath. "I rather play pool. There's a circuit in the inner Northwest. I can try to pick up a spot on short notice."

  "It's not safe to bring attention down on you at this time."

  "I don't want to owe you a damn thing. The sooner you leave and stop this stupid idea of blackmailing me to stay with you, the faster you're out of my life."

  "That's not what you want," he said.

  "You're not listening." Her eyes burned with unshed tears. "You've ripped everything away from me. I have nothing."

  "You have me," he said.

  "Oh..." She shook her head, unable to look at him. "Forgive me if I'm not grateful. You're the one who started all this."

  "You owe—"

  "Don't." She held up her hand. "I can't do this."

  Merk's mouth hardened. Her breath came harsh, whittling away the remaining hold she had on her emotions. She couldn't keep going back and forth.

  "I'm done." She walked to the bedroom and shut the door.

  Leaning her back against the wood, she lost control and her body shook. Her knees collapsed under the strain and she slithered to the floor. She honestly hated him.

  She groaned in frustration and tapped her head against the door. No matter how hard she tried, she still wanted to believe he wanted her.

  Chapter Twenty Two

  Cam finished updating the Moroad MC members on the actions of Blues, Reds, and Los Li. Merk sucked on a cigarette. The extortion money continued to come in weekly with no signs of refusal from the gangs in prison or from those living on the outside.

  His concern came from Reds. By now, word had to have reached them that they'd messed with Moroad property when they attacked Desi's business. He wanted to know their next step before something worse than blowing up the bar happened.

  "I put a call in to the leader of Reds in honor of Merk." Cam put his boot up on a stump. "After a bunch of shit tossed back and forth, Reds believe Desiree should be responsible for the running debt Joe Carlyle continued to pay for his son."

  "No." Merk flicked the ashes off his smoke. "They aren't allowed to touch her and considering she's mine, their bullshit means they'll deal with me. Moroad has never stepped away from any threat, from any of the gangs. I'm not starting now."

  "Agreed," said Gunner.

  Cam nodded. "I passed along the same message and pressured them about upsetting our agreement. We'll take any sign of them going after Desiree as an attack. We'll take out a Reds member inside the penitentiary for every week they continue. Personally, I don't like adding anything to the extortion agreement we have set up with all the groups. At any time, if the other gangs plan to put more of their men inside the prison, it's a threat to our members on the inside. If that happens, we'll be hard pressed to keep control without sending more men inside."

  "In the last four months, Meese, Willy, and Ring have been incarcerated. Nobody else from Moroad has walked out of prison since we entered into the extortion. That puts one hundred and seventy-eight Moroad members in the penal system." Merk hooked his fingers in his pocket. "Do we have a tally on who has entered from the other groups?"

  "Yeah." Cam ran his fingers down his beard. "Not enough to make an impression, yet."

  "Then let me make a statement to Reds." Merk shrugged. "I'll take out two Reds with a message there's to be no more contact with Desi. I'm not willing to sit back and wait to see if they react."

  Cam looked around the circle of men. "Then you need to make up your mind about what you'll take responsibility for. They want the rest of the money, which you could pay out of your own pocket and not from the club, considering we all agree Moroad keeps their stance and won't negotiate. Or, you can go visiting and take a chance of the Feds catching you. You'd end up back in prison, probably for life."

  "I'll visit Reds and leave a message." Merk pulled out another cigarette. "We leave the extortion agreement separate."

  Cam straightened and put his boot back down on the ground. "Okay, Moroad supports your decision. Jacko?"

  "Yeah?" Jacko stayed lying on the grass, eyes to the sky and away from the fire, preferring his own world to the business talk of the club.

  "You'll ride with him," said Cam.

  Merk's chest tightened. "I'll ride alone."

  Jacko barely smelled the air since his last release. Every law enforcement officer had Jacko's picture front and center. He deserved time off before he risked his freedom again.

  "You have no choice. Jacko will take your back. I don't send one of my members out without support." Cam cut off any more talk. "Meeting's over."

  Shit.

  He hated taking responsibility for someone else's freedom. From the first crime he committed, he went out of his way to make sure he worked alone. He eyed Cam's back. Cam was up to something, and Merk refused to waste his energy figuring out how his president's mind worked. He'd need to stay on top of Jacko's every move in case Cam's decision to double up meant he planned to set them up to go back to prison.

  Jacko rolled to his feet. "When are we going out on a date?"

  "Date?" Merk hooked his hand under his armpit and leaned back on his heels. "If you're thinking about sucking my dick, I'll kill you now and ride to Montana by myself."

  "Nah, I'll let Desiree wet your stick, unless you buy me dinner first. I need a day and time you want to ride to Montana and go knocking," said Jacko.

  "I'll let you know. I want to talk with Desi first."

  Jacko coughed. "By the way, while you were busy chitchatting with Prez, Lola snoozed with your girl."

  "So?" Merk squinted through the dark and spotted Desi on the porch surrounded by the Moroad women.

  Jacko clicked his tongue. "The two of them had their heads together at the end of the porch, and then Lola hugged Desi for longer than a normal nice-to-see-you chick hug. While Lola loves to listen, she loves talking more."

  He studied his MC brother, not surprised Jacko's eyes were always open and his head always thinking, even when he pretended ignorance. "I'll have a word with Lola later."

  "Speaking of Lola..." Jacko rubbed his hand across his chest. "She's got a date with me tonight, and luckily she's not as picky as you. She'll let me put my mouth wherever I want."

  Jacko swaggered off in the direction of the porch. Merk stayed by the fire, taking in everyone. Katie sat on Johnson's lap on the steps. Lola stood in the yard, fists on hips, waiting for Jacko. Bear and Stache rolled joints on the railing, while Gunner talked with Jessie who he had straddling him on his motorcycle. Rich, Kev, and Rash worked on a twin cylinder engine at the edge of the driveway.

  Cam and Christina sat on the porch in rockers at the helm. Merk searched the area again. He found Jeremy and Tiff huddled together at the edge of the yard in a heated discussion. Tension ticked in his jaw and he spit on the ground. His nephew spent a lot of spare time with Tiff, and Merk wasn't sure Jeremy's decision was the right one. Not at his age, anyway. Jeremy had a lot of time before he could think of settling down into a serious relationship. At nineteen years old, Jeremy's reckless behavior put him at risk of ending up in prison. If not by his own fault, than as his duty to Moroad MC.

  Merk walked to the porch, caught Desi's gaze, and motioned her to come to him. He nodded at Cam and Christina out of respect. The coolness rolled off Christina and fed to Cam, who remained attentive and distant.

  They had nothing to worry about concerning him. He kept his word and continued to stay away from Jeremy.

  Desi walked down the steps and stood in front of him. He studied the dark shadows under her eyes and understood that he'd put those marks on her. The sooner she let herself accept they're time together, the faster she'd relax.

  Merk hooked her neck bringing her closer. "I need to talk with yo
u. Do you want to do it here or wait until we get back to the bar?"

  Desi pulled her zippered sweatshirt tighter. "Here."

  "Let's sit by the fire." He held her lax hand, leading her through the bodies littering the yard, lost in their own pleasure.

  Once seated on an upturned log, he pulled her down on his lap. She stiffened. "I'll stand."

  "You'll sit and you'll look at me like you care what I'm saying." He waited.

  She dropped her chin to her chest and looked at her shoes. "Once I cared. I don't anymore."

  "You're lying."

  She shook her head. "You're nothing like I imagined when I thought back to the man who told me his name was James."

  "I'm exactly who you think I am. I never pretended to be someone different."

  "Except, you lied. You moved in, kept your secrets, slept with me, and all along you were out to make me pay for telling the sheriff who killed my dad." She inhaled quickly. "You're hurting me, and that was your intent."

  "You're wrong."

  Her gaze whipped to his. "Tell me how I could possibly be wrong. You're blackmailing me and forcing me to be with you. God, how can you be so unfeeling and insane?"

  "I'm not insane. There are few options left for me when I want something. I'm a felon. I can't go after what I want the normal way. I killed your dad. That right there is enough for you to hate me. But, you enjoyed yourself before you figured out you'd already met me and even admitted you were falling in love with me." He opened her clasped hand and twined his fingers with hers. "If you didn't know who I was, we'd be on our way to spending the twelve years together that you owe me and you'd be happy."

  "I owe you?" She blew out her lips. "That's where the whole punishment comes in. You're making me pay for a mistake. I don't know how many times or how many ways I can explain what I was going through, so you understand. I didn't know I was identifying you when the sheriff showed me your picture. I just wanted to know your full name, because at the time it was important for me to have more information about you. It's not a crime."