Single and Searching

by Rita Herron

  How could she tell him that no one had wanted her?

  He tightened his jaw. "What did he do?"

  Casey swallowed hard, battling the memories. She didn't know if she could tell him.

  "Casey?" Gabe tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and brushed his lips over her cheek. "Talk to me, sweetheart. I need to know what happened."

  Henry S. stirred and whimpered. Casey glanced at her son and moved to go to him, but Gabe held her in his embrace.

  "He's fine. We'll take him home after you talk to me."

  A tense silence filled the air as she searched for words. Then his soft breath feathered her cheek.

  He was waiting, being patient. She owed him the truth.

  But her courage failed her.

  A second later, Henry S.' small voice pierced the silence. "Mommy. Bwankie."

  "I... have to get him," Casey said.

  Gabe's frustrated sigh punctuated the air as Casey scooped Henry S. into her arms. "It's okay, buddy. We're going home. You're blankie's in your bed." Anxious to escape, she headed for the door, avoiding Gabe's glare.

  Another strained silence fell between them as they settled back inside the car. Often in the midst of a noisy afternoon with Henry S., she yearned for silence, but not this tense kind of silence. Disappointment, anger, and hurt radiated from Gabe's every sigh, every glance, every breath.

  She had no idea how to appease him, except to confess the truth. But wouldn't that force him away?

  Closing her eyes, she grasped for strength. She was falling in love with Gabe. Watching him with Henry S. only intensified the feelings.

  Knowing he would care for her son and wouldn't hurt him meant more than flowery words or any of his romantic presents. But what could she offer him?

  She still had to deal with Travis' sudden appearance and plea for custody. Would Gabe help her if he knew the truth, or would he agree that Henry S. should be with his biological father?

  He parked the car and climbed out, but Casey opened her own door, reaching for Henry S. Gabe took him instead and marched up the sidewalk, forcing her to follow.

  A moment later, Casey froze when she noticed her front door was ajar.

  Gabe cut his gaze toward her. "You locked it when we left, didn't you?"

  "I thought so." Uneasiness skated up her spine. Had someone broken into the house? Were they still there?

  He shifted the toddler toward her. "Here, hold him. I'll check it out." Gabe's hand covered Casey's. "If you hear anything, take Henry S. and get the hell out of here. Understood?"

  Casey started to argue, but Gabe's expression cut off her protests. She would do whatever she had to do to protect her son.

  But she cared about Gabe, too, so she touched his arm. "Gabe, be careful."

  He nodded.

  Tension knotted Casey's stomach as he eased inside the house. She rocked her son in her arms, wondering why anyone would break into her house. She didn't have anything valuable. No nice jewelry or cash in the house. And her TV and computer were ancient.

  Long tense minutes passed and her imagination ran wild. What if someone was still inside? What if Gabe got hurt?

  Finally footsteps clattered, and Gabe reappeared.

  "The house is empty, but someone could have been here. Look around and see if anything's missing while I call the police."

  Casey shook her head. "No, don't call them. I probably just left the door unlocked. I'm always doing that..."

  Gabe frowned and she hoped he didn't get suspicious.

  Then she carried Henry S. to his bedroom and tucked him bed.

  Gabe waited in the den while she searched the rooms. Her office looked okay, her bedding rumpled on her bed in her room, but she didn't see anything missing. When she finally returned, she'd managed to calm herself.

  "I don't see anything missing. Although I can't find that new scarf you gave me."

  "Where did you leave it?" Gabe asked.

  "On my bed." Casey shrugged. "Oh, well, Henry S. probably took it off to play and hid it."

  Gabe nodded, although his eyes narrowed as if he didn't quite know whether to believe her.

  "You know, Casey, if something's going on, you can talk to me."

  Casey's heart hammered in her ribs as she battled a case of nerves. She wanted to tell him about Travis, about everything.

  Then he stroked her arm. "I want you to trust me."

  Moonlight shimmered across his dark hair, highlighting the whiskey-colored streaks and softening his stark features. His gray eyes looked like two luminous pool of water.

  Casey ached to have his arms around her again, comforting her. But she couldn't make her voice work enough to explain.

  Gabe's sigh of disappointment echoed in the quiet between them. Another heartbeat passed before he spoke.

  "Good night, sweetheart. Call me if you need me."

  Casey stood immobile, her fingernails digging into the palms of her hands. Emotions warred within her. She wanted him to stay. She wanted him to leave.

  Still she couldn't move.

  Slowly Gabe opened the door and turned away.

  "He didn't want me," Casey said in a voice so low she didn't know if Gabe would hear her.

  But his foot stilled. Casey whirled around, unable to face him. She heard the door close softly and felt him move up behind her. His breath brushed against her neck as his hands gently rubbed her arms.

  "Did he hurt you?" Gabe asked in a thick voice.

  Casey shivered. "Yes. He... he was cruel..."

  Gabe's fingers tightened on her arms, and she decided she might as well tell Gabe the truth. If he walked out, she would survive. She'd survived alone before.

  "My mother was young when she had me, only seventeen, and she... she couldn't take care of me, so when I was a baby, she put me in foster care. She wouldn't sign adoption papers, so I moved from home to home. When I was thirteen, she came back and got me." Casey's voice broke, and she paused, willing herself to continue.

  Gabe wrapped his arms around her and pressed her back against his chest, gently stroking her hair away from her face. "What about your father?"

  Casey sighed. "I don't even know his name. I'm not sure my mother does either."

  Silence again. Casey expected him to leave, but Gabe tightened his embrace. "What happened then?"

  "My mother married this man named Lou, my stepfather. He was obsessive about things. Compulsive. Everything had to be in order, even his foods."

  Gabe tensed. "Let me guess. He didn't like his vegetables touching."

  Casey laughed softly, but her laughter echoed with sadness. "He didn't like having a child around. And I was a pretty messy kid with a lot of spunk." Casey looked down, gripping Gabe's arms with her hands. "He used to yell at me and make me go without meals and clean things up over and over, stack things in neat rows. If one was out of place, he'd knock them down and make me do it over and over and over again..."

  "God, Casey." Gabe gently pulled her into his arms. "What a bastard."

  Casey settled into his warm embrace, his comforting touch assuaging some of the pain. Still, the shameful taunts she'd heard in high school echoed in her mind, and fresh tears rolled unchecked down her face. Her mascara streaked Gabe's shirt, but she didn't care. Between the mud and mustard on his slacks, she owed him a new wardrobe anyway.

  "Sweetheart, I'm sorry, so sorry," Gabe whispered. "It must have been awful. What did your mother do? Didn't she defend you?"

  Casey shook her head against his chest and glanced up, studying his face. His gray eyes looked black. A muscle ticked in his jaw. Did he think it was her fault?

  "No, she kept telling me to be good or he'd leave her, and it was obvious she didn't want him to go. She ...always had to have a man."

  Gabe rocked her in his arms.

  "Then one night, I heard them fighting about me. Lou said he couldn't stand having me around anymore. They were going to send me away the next day."

  Gabe pressed a kiss on Casey's cheek,
but his eyes turned stormy.

  "So I ran away."

  "Where did you go?"

  His concern touched her deeply, and her throat closed. She'd bared enough of her soul. There were still some parts she couldn't share, not even with Gabe. "I wound up in a group home," she finally said quietly.

  Gently drying Casey's eyes with his handkerchief, Gabe kissed the moisture still clinging to her eyelashes. "I'm sorry you had such a tough childhood, honey, but I'm glad you told me. It makes me admire you even more for all you've become."

  "Don't you see though. I was never good enough for him or my mother." And I'm not good enough for you.

  Gabe gripped Casey's jaw in his hand. "That's not true. You're a beautiful, wonderful woman and the fact that you've overcome horrible obstacles is admirable. I'm proud of you."

  Casey searched Gabe's eyes as he locked his arms around her waist. Sincerity and tenderness lit the gray depths, not pity or scorn.

  Hope bubbled inside her. He wasn't repulsed? He wasn't looking at her in disgust or running away, searching for a more socially acceptable woman?

  In fact, he was looking at her with such tenderness and desire that heat rippled through her.

  "I want you, Casey. I've wanted you since the first moment you stepped into my office." Gabe smothered her mouth with a kiss that made Casey dizzy.

  Her lonely days and nights, her painful past, all those things made Gabe's precious words more special. She parted her lips and accepted his probing tongue, returning his kiss with the passion burning through her. Gabe groaned and rocked her body into his, pressing his arousal into her heat.

  "I want you, too, Gabe," Casey whispered.

  Gabe stilled, his erratic breaths beating against the nape of Casey's neck. He drew back and looked into her eyes, brushing her hair away from her jaw. "Casey?"

  Casey dug her hands into his thick waves and combed a stray lock of hair away from his forehead with her finger. This strong sexy man ignited passions she'd never known, and if they made love, her heart would be lost to him forever.

  He gave her a sultry smile and her heart fluttered. She'd never given herself to a man before, but she'd never been in love. If Gabe could accept her past, maybe he could love her in return.

  She stood on tiptoe to kiss his dimple, then decided for once in her life that she would reach out for what she wanted. Gabe's skin felt hot as she traced her finger along his jaw, then she whispered in his ear, "I want you to make love to me, Gabe. Please."

  Chapter 8

  Gabe's heart soared.

  His pulse raced.

  His body instinctively grew hot with need.

  Casey wanted him to make love to her.

  But anger over the way Casey's mother and stepfather had treated her pulsated through every vein in his body. It had taken an amazing amount of restraint for him not to voice his distaste for her mother. The two people who should have cared for her and loved her had tossed her aside like a piece of garbage. He felt like hunting them down and venting his fury until they suffered the way they'd made her suffer.

  Was that the reason she'd wound up as a juvenile?

  Then Casey snuggled up to him, and he swallowed, forcing his violent thoughts at bay. She was so tender and gentle and full of life that his heart ached to think of her as a little girl all alone.

  Did her real father even know she existed? Where was he when her mother shuffled her from one place to another?

  Guilt over not telling Casey about the investigation added to his hesitation. Casey seemed vulnerable right now. She had been hurt terribly as a child, and he still didn't know the story behind Henry S.' father.

  "I'm sorry," Casey whispered. "I... I... forget it."

  Dammit. She'd misunderstood his silence. Did she think he didn't want her?

  He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Casey, listen," Gabe said, grappling for words.

  "No, it's okay." Casey tried to pull away from him.

  "Wait, sweetheart." Gabe pinned her into his arms. "I don't know what's going on in that pretty head of yours, but listen to me. I want you more than I've ever wanted any other woman."

  Casey clutched his shirt and twisted the button in circles. He wanted her to rip it off.

  "Then why did you hesitate... is it because of what I told you?"

  Gabe's gut clenched at the pain in her voice. "God, no." How could he put his feelings into words?

  He caught her trembling lip in his mouth and gently suckled it, then kissed the corners, wetting them with his tongue. "It's just that I know you're upset right now. You're vulnerable, sweetheart, and I don't want to take advantage of you."

  Casey stared at him in disbelief.

  "I'd never forgive myself if you had regrets, Casey." He rubbed his hands up and down her arms, then settled them loosely around her waist.

  "I wouldn't have regrets," Casey whispered, "as long as it was with you."

  Gabe's pride swelled at Casey's admission. How could he refuse her when he ached with the thought of holding her and burying himself inside her? Another button followed until she pushed his shirt open and burrowed her hands in the soft hair covering his chest.

  "You're so handsome," Casey whispered. Shyly, almost hesitantly, she pressed a kiss on his chest, drawing circles around his nipples with gentle fingertips. Gabe's body reacted instantly. A surge of desire pooled in his groin and his pants grew tight.

  Then Casey cupped his face in her hands and fused her lips with his, tasting and teasing the corners of his mouth with her lips the way he had hers. Her hand slid across his chest, and she squeezed his muscular torso, then grazed one flat erect nipple with her long fingernail.

  Gabe's restraint broke. A man could only take so much, and be was after all, simply a man.

  "Casey, are you sure?" Gabe's hands gripped hers, holding them over his heart.

  "I want you to love me, Gabe." Casey kissed the tops of his hands, then burrowed her face against his chest. "I've never wanted anything more in my life."

  Gabe's willpower totally faded. "Lord, Casey, you don't know how that makes me feel."

  His secrecy about the investigation taunted him.

  So did Casey's other lovers, Brick and his triple-size condoms.

  But she kissed him again and nothing mattered except holding and loving her.

  Casey's face flushed with passion as his hands sought her hips, and he pulled her against his hardened arousal, backing her toward the bedroom. Her violet eyes shimmered with desire. He was going to explode if he didn't have her.

  "I want to feel you, Casey. I want to look at you and taste you and touch every inch of you."

  He tugged off Casey's baseball cap, and she laughed as he tossed it onto the floor. Then he slipped her hair from the ponytail holder and ran his fingers through the long strands, combing it and brushing it over her shoulders. With one quick movement, he grabbed the bottom of her t-shirt and tugged it over her head. His breath caught as his eyes drank in the sight of her bare breasts.

  Casey pressed her hands to her chest in an attempt to cover herself, and Gabe's mouth twitched into a lopsided smile. "No, sweetheart, I want to look at you." Gently, he threaded his fingers through hers and brought her hands down by her sides. "Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" His eyes searched hers, and he saw the answer in the way she lowered her gaze to his chest. "Oh, Casey," Gabe whispered. "You are the loveliest woman I've ever known."

  He intended to go slow, but he felt as if he'd already waited years to be with her, and he couldn't wait any longer.

  He touched her breasts, and she moaned and came apart in his arms, thrusting herself into his open hands, parting her lips for his assault, groaning as he took her nipple into his mouth and suckled. Her hands gripped the bunched muscles in his arms, stroked the plane of his chest, feathered over the hair tapering down to his navel and into his pants, and a low growl erupted from deep within him.

  Shoving his shirt off frantically, Casey kissed and touched him wit
h fingers that teased and delighted him, rubbing her breasts against his chest as he unzipped her shorts and pushed them over her hips. She jerked his jeans down and he stepped out of them, kicking them into her bedroom.

  Suddenly, Gabe remembered Henry S. He swung Casey into his arms and closed the door behind them. Casey's fingers caressed his nipples as she kissed and suckled his neck, making hungry little sounds that sent his pulse accelerating.

  Perspiration dotted his forehead. Before he reached the edge of the bed, he stumbled over one of Henry S.' balls and slipped. He reached out to break his fall and dropped Casey on the bed. Her elbow jabbed his eye as he fell beside her, then something sharp stabbed his butt.

  "Ouch!" He fumbled below him and retrieved the item, a Tinkertoy. Dammit, he was such a klutz he'd probably have a black eye and a sore ass.

  "Are you okay?" Casey yanked his briefs down to inspect his bruised bottom.

  "It's fine," he growled, desperate to stop her torturous touch. "But you can kiss it and make it all better."

  Casey laughed. "Look at this, you even have a dimple on your butt."

  Gabe chuckled as she kissed his dimpled cheek, then his other dimple.

  When she looked into his eyes, his injury was forgotten as he noticed the dazed expression in her eyes, her tousled hair, her kiss-swollen lips, her beaded nipples.

  But he exhaled a shaky sigh and fought the impulse to rush her. Her hands trembled as she saw his hardened arousal pushing at his red briefs. His heart pounded as he remembered buying them in the Love 'N Lace shop and imagining her taking them off. Watching her look at him now with such desire sent heat racing through him.

  "God, Casey." Gabe covered her mouth with his, plunging his tongue inside, tasting the moist corners of her mouth. A loud rumbling sound made him pause, and he raised slightly to look into her eyes. Was it Henry S.? "What's that noise?"

  Casey pushed a lock of hair from his forehead. "Dog. He snores."

  Gabe nibbled her neck. "I thought it was an earthquake." He cupped Casey's breasts in his hands, kneading and watching her creamy mounds fill his hands. "You're beautiful," he whispered.

  But another sound drew his head up, a loud panting and whine. "What's that?"