Fall: a ROCK SOLID romance

by Karina Bliss

* * *

  “I’m sorry.” Dimity rolled the apology around her tongue, savoring it and not particularly liking the taste. And yet it felt necessary. Re-packing her bag, she hesitated, then made the bed, untangling sheets and puffing up the pillows until it was hotel perfect. “I’m sorry,” she said again. It was getting easier, possibly because she meant it.

  She’d hit a sore spot telling Seth his place, and she’d done it deliberately to test a theory. He had too much heart to treat an affair as lightly as she needed him to. Guys like Seth were forbidden fruit to someone who fetishized normal. Well-adjusted, centered, sensible…these were her temptations. It wasn’t that she was afraid of him falling in love with her. Only afraid of wanting him to.

  She was a fighter, not a lover, with all the corresponding lack of social skills that implied in her private life. These strange longings for intimacy would pass. She just needed to be busy again, crazy busy. Working. She needed Zee to be working.

  “I’m sorry.” She had to say it now because she didn’t want to say it later to Seth. Couldn’t give him an opening to try to change her mind. Already he had an uncanny ability to hack through her thorns with a smile and a joke.

  She breezed into the kitchen in her highest heels, dressed for business. Seth turned from the coffeemaker, his face impassive but Gayle’s eyes lit up when she saw her. “I do love your shoes.”

  “Thank you.” They were her lucky stilettos, the ones she always wore to war.

  “That dress last night was gorgeous.” Gayle glanced through the open door into the dining room and returned to stirring scrambled eggs on the stove. “Seth said you were both wakeful last night with the change in time zones. I didn’t hear snoring though…that remedy worked?”

  “Seemed to,” Dimity said brightly.

  “Janey and Tom are still in bed.” Gayle glanced in the other room again. “They always take the opportunity to sleep in when they’re here. Frank is walking to the shop for the paper. It’s his token exercise.”

  “Go sit down at the dining table,” Seth invited without turning around. “I’ll bring coffee through.” Dimity knew banishment when she saw it.

  Wandering into the adjacent dining room, she stopped short. Em was in some kind of harness hanging from a spring in the doorway to the living room. Seeing Dimity, she chortled and bounced off the floor.

  “Um…the baby’s in here,” she called over her shoulder.

  “Don’t worry,” was Seth’s dry reply. “She can’t escape.”

  Gayle laughed, thinking he was joking. Reluctantly, Dimity pulled out a chair and sat, watching Em bounce on her sturdy little legs, pivoting toward any surrounding toy that caught her eye. When she stopped moving, she swung in a slow spiral to face the other way. The back of her head didn’t look happy about it and a squawk confirmed it.

  Dimity hesitated and looked toward the kitchen. Okay, this was ridiculous. She could help out a trussed baby, for God’s sake—as long as she kept her hair away from those grabby little hands. She walked over before she could chicken out and turned the harness to face the dining room. Em looked up and gurgled, delighted to see her again. Emboldened, she bent to touch the baby’s cheek with the tip of her index finger. Petal soft. There, that wasn’t so hard.

  Em started bouncing, surprising her into a laugh. Impulsively, she caught the crazy jumping baby in her arms and held her close—just for a moment—to smell her, heart beating wildly at her own daring. Releasing her into the wild, Dimity turned around and gasped. Seth stood in the doorway with two coffees, watching.

  “Addictive, isn’t it?” he said casually. “Just one sniff…and you think, yeah, I can take or leave it. And then somehow you find yourself wanting another.” He put the coffees on the table. “I can take her out of the jumper if you like.”

  “No.” There was no way to spin this, so she didn’t try. “That would be too scary.” If this was a way back into his good graces, she’d take it. “I’m guessing you probably want a litter, eventually.”

  “My future wife might want some input into that decision.”

  His confidence fascinated her. Admitting he wanted a wife, kids? She could never do that. Assume she’d settle down and live happily ever after. “I’m surprised you still want to get married after what you’ve been through with Mel.”

  “What, so I just give up?” he said, amused. “Why can’t I expect a better outcome? Or say that I want kids in the next five to ten years?”

  She shook her head, unable to answer him, unable to imagine anyone loving her enough to make the offer. She wasn’t the kind of woman who inspired forever. It was hard enough living with herself sometimes. She had no experience of intimacy. Her parents certainly hadn’t patterned healthy behavior.

  “Do you see kids in your future?” he asked.

  “C’mon, me?”

  He had to be teasing. But his eyes were perfectly serious as he stood in the sun streaming through the window.

  “Sure, why not? You’re a multi-tasker, you like a lot of projects going at one time. Kids, family could be one of them. Yes, I can imagine it. You’d probably be one of those annoying women who make it look easy.”

  She liked his confidence, even if she couldn’t share it. “I’d have to actually hold a baby first.”

  “Want me to teach you how to approach wild animals?”

  Shaking her head, she stepped away from Em, smiling.

  “First, you act confident, like you know what you’re doing.” He walked toward them, his gaze on the baby. “You smile, you soothe, you talk sh—nonsense so they get used to your voice, decide you’re friendly.” Em burbled nonsense at him. “And when they’re comfortable, you make your move.” Turning, he cupped Dimity’s cheek. “Hey, Honey B.”

  “Very funny.” She moved away from his hand.

  As she went to walk past, he blocked her way. “Then you herd your honey badger into a confined space…” He backed her into the wall, one arm braced against it to prevent her escape.

  “Having fun?” she said acidly.

  “Oh yeah.” Dropping his hand from the wall, he stepped in closer and began to nuzzle her neck. “You smell pretty good, too.”

  “I should.” She resisted the urge to turn her head and give him better access. “My potions and lotions are expensive.”

  “Mmm, sass, chili and sugar.”

  “None of those have scents.”

  “Warmed they do.” He ran his palms down her bare arms and up again. “I owe you an apology for overreacting earlier.”

  “No, I’m sorry. I was talking bullshit and you called me on it. But…I can’t do this. Please understand.”

  “Okay, lose me to another woman.” Stepping away, he scooped up the baby. “I’m not going to pressure you into anything, Dimity, that’s not what we’re about.” He hesitated. “And if it helps Zander’s cause for me to be branded the nice guy, then hell, brand me the nice guy. But only until the band’s on the road again.”

  “Thank you,” she said through a tight throat. Told herself it was gratitude that she could rely on him to be a team player. Not regret they weren’t having an affair. “Do you think you can drop me by the ferry terminal this morning?” The sooner she got to Waiheke, the sooner she could start fixing this for everybody. And if she stayed here another night, there was no way she’d keep her hands off this great guy.

  “I’ll run you in when I drop Dad at work. But eat first or I’ll sic the baby on you.” He held Em up and she beamed at Dimity.

  “Why does she like me?”

  “She’s used to being adored, and you mostly ignore her.”

  Dimity reached out and patted Em’s head. “That’s it,” she said. “That’s all you’re getting.”

  The baby chuckled, waved her baby arms. Gently, Seth lowered her to the floor, where she started bouncing again.

  They were sitting at the table eating scrambled eggs with Gayle when Frank came into the dining room, and dropped the morning newspaper by his wife’s plate. Nodd
ing acknowledgment, he buttoned his business jacket and checked his watch. “I’m surprised Jeff hasn’t arrived yet.”

  “I told him at the party that I’d drop you into work today, Dad,” Seth said so casually that Dimity looked at him across the table, sensing a cunning plan. He winked at her, confirming it. It had become clear last night that Frank was trying to avoid spending time with him. “It gives me a chance to say hi to everybody who didn’t make the barbecue,” he added.

  Dimity smiled at him. Color me impressed.

  “Don’t bother,” said Frank. “I’ll drive myself.”

  Gayle put down her fork and eyeballed her husband. “You won’t,” she said. “Seth is taking you.” Some silent message passed between them.

  Frank sighed. “Fine. When will you be ready to leave?”

  “Ten minutes. Okay if we drop Dimity off at the ferry terminal en route?”

  “Of course.” Frank smiled at her politely. “I would like to be at work for nine, though, a customer’s coming in.”

  “No problem.” Dimity stood. “I’ll collect my bags.”

  She didn’t like Seth’s father, and liked him even less when his son was buying her ferry ticket and they were left waiting by the car with the luggage for a few minutes. Frank Curran struck her as a man who’d founded a small kingdom and confused that with a divine mandate to have his own way all the time. And somehow, Seth had been brainwashed into thinking that not wanting to become a chip off the blockhead was something to feel guilty about.

  “What is it exactly that you do for Zander Freedman?” said Frank politely, but there was a whiff of condescension in his tone.

  “Whatever he needs to keep his twenty-year, multi-million-dollar, global business running in a volatile market.”

  “Sounds impressive. What does that mean?”

  Dimity examined her nails. “Longer hours than nine to five.”

  Frank bristled. “I’ve only recently pulled back my hours. I used to average sixty.”

  “I pull up to seventy during a tour.”

  “I once worked eighty to meet an order.”

  “Look at you two bonding over who’s the worst workaholic.” Seth returned with her ticket.

  “Oh, sure.” Dimity smiled at that bitter, old man. Seth wasn’t going to win him over. His father had soured all the way through. “Thanks for your hospitality, Frank.” And if you reject your son, I’m coming for you.

  “You’re welcome.” Oblivious to the danger, he stepped into the car.

  Seth pushed her trolley into the terminal. “Tell Zander and Elizabeth I look forward to catching up this weekend.”

  “I will. Good luck.” Impulsively, she hugged him, felt his surprise and covered her lapse with a wave toward the vehicle. “Your dad’s watching, I figure I have to do the girlfriend thing.”

  Seth glanced over his shoulder at the same time as his father looked up.

  Nice save.

  Breathing a small sigh of relief, Dimity took over the trolley. “See you, then.”

  “One more thing.” Seth caught her face in his hands and kissed her, something she would have objected to, had she been able to speak. As it was, his tongue did all the talking, playfully persuasive, a continuation of their interrupted foreplay this morning.

  “What the hell was that?” she demanded when he released her.

  “A mind fuck since I’m not allowed any other kind.” His audacity was breathtaking. She wasn’t used to it, didn’t expect it from him.

  “You said you wouldn’t break my rules!”

  “Just reminding you that you can.”

  She stepped away from his infectious grin with a frown. “Is this where you say, ‘Hey, baby, I know you want to’?”

  “I do now,” he said cheerfully.

  Dimity narrowed her eyes. “Goodbye, Seth.”

  He let her go fifty yards. “Hey, Honey B.”

  She turned.

  “Think about it.”

  Exactly what she was trying not to do.

  Chapter Twelve

  Seth walked back to the car feeling more optimistic than he had in a long time. A weight had lifted off his mind last night. He and Mel had reached an understanding, he and Dimity were working toward one, and even his father’s impatient glance at his watch wasn’t going to dampen his optimism that good things happened in threes.

  “Finished making a spectacle of yourselves?” said Frank.

  “For the time being,” Seth answered affably. The next move was Dimity’s. Hopefully, he’d piqued her curiosity. The hug had been a strategic error on her part—it told him she was intrigued. They could have a lot of fun if she bent the rules. And fun had been seriously lacking in their lives over the past few months.

  “I shouldn’t be surprised that you replaced Mel with a trophy girlfriend,” Frank remarked, when Seth didn’t bite.

  “Get to know Dimity before you judge her, Dad. There’s a whole lot more to her than looks.” He tried to think of something his father would be impressed by. “I’ve never met anyone who works harder.”

  “For God’s sake, don’t you start.”

  “Didn’t you just have a love-in over your workloads?”

  “Never mind, just drive.”

  The atmosphere at the offices where Seth had interned through his engineering degree and worked after he’d graduated was warm and friendly, despite the air-conditioning always dialed a couple of degrees too chilly. His father softened when he walked into the place. Seth had forgotten that.

  He noticed immediately that the pot plants were fake. Yvonne the office manager told him she’d threatened to quit if the live ones weren’t given to a good home. “You were the only one who cared about them,” she said, when they were standing in reception. “I felt like they died a little every time I went near them. It got too depressing.”

  Through the slimline blinds of his old office he could see Jeff, wearing a suit and tie, on the phone. Looking harassed, he waved hello before returning to his call. There but for the grace of rock ’n’ roll go I.

  Seth had enjoyed the job in an I-trained-for-this kind of way, but he’d ripped off his tie every night. It had always got tighter over the course of the day. And overtime had felt like a jail sentence.

  When he thought of the hours he put into the band, a forty-five-hour week at Curran Engineering seemed like a walk in the park. He’d caught maybe five hours sleep a night on tour and still bounced out of bed every morning. I made the right choice.

  As soon as Yvonne announced he was in the building, Seth found himself besieged. He spent half an hour in the staffroom looking at recent family photos on people’s phones, having selfies taken and signing autographs. Everyone was delighted that “one of our own” had gone on to glory.

  His father slipped away after five minutes. Otherwise, nothing had changed. The coffeemaker still made god-awful coffee, the fridge was still full of lunch boxes with name tags, and he could still match every mug to its owner.

  He loved seeing everyone again, but also felt as if he’d walked into the land that time forgot. So much had happened to him in the interim and some of these people were still quibbling over who’d left their mug in the sink instead of stacking it in the dishwasher.

  When he returned to reception looking for Frank he saw him in the meeting room, the only space that was kept spartan and uncluttered, talking to a woman Seth didn’t recognize. They were both poring over papers spread out around the table.

  “New employee?” he asked Yvonne.

  “The valuer,” she confided in a low voice, “here to count teaspoons. I told her she better not include my mug in the chattels.”

  “Valuer?”

  “Changes ahead.” She beckoned him closer. “I’m trying to take a positive attitude in front of your dad. He’s finding all this hard enough. Keep it to yourself, the other staff don’t know yet.”

  Of course she’d assume he was in the loop.

  The reception phone rang, and she excused herself t
o pick up. “Curran Consulting, how may I help?”

  Mind reeling, Seth stuck his head into the meeting room. “Dad, what’s going on?”

  “Excuse me a minute, will you, Carol?” Frank led the way to his office and closed the door. “I’m getting an independent valuation before I put the business on the market.”

  “You’re selling?” Impossible. “But this business is your whole life.”

  Frank said bitterly, “I don’t have a choice.”

  Seth was still struggling to get his head around it. “Why didn’t you tell me you were in trouble?”

  His father folded his arms. “You made it very clear that you weren’t interested in being part of this company.”

  “In working in it, but I can still be an investor, a silent partner! Shit, Dad…” Seth grabbed his father’s elbow. “If it’s a capital injection you need, I can put in a hundred thousand.” Reckless to offer so much with his future uncertain, but if his father needed help…

  “All cash and no responsibility?” Frank snorted as he moved to his desk. “No thanks.”

  That stung. “Yeah, the money really came easy to me. Supportive family, loyal girlfriend and an audition process that was nothing like The Hunger Games.” Old rockers nostalgically recalling the bad old days for documentaries had a lot to answer for. “For God’s sake, don’t cut off your nose to spite your face, Dad.”

  “If only life was as simple as you think it is,” his father snapped.

  Seth stared at him. “Really? That’s your only takeaway from what I just said? That my life’s simple? I spent sixteen months scaling Everest—without any Sherpas in support—and had maybe five minutes at the top to enjoy the view. If Zander’s voi—reputation doesn’t recover, it’s back to the foothills to start the climb all over again.”

  His father made an impatient gesture. “You made your choices. And why I’m doing this is no longer your concern, so—”

  He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “We really can’t have a conversation anymore, can we? Even when I offer you my life savings, I’m still in the wrong, still the disappointment. Tell me this, Dad. If there’s no way I can ever make it up to you, then why the hell am I even trying?”