Tears swam in her eyes. He scooted his chair back and motioned for her to come to him. She shook her head and tears spilled from the corners of her eyes. Okay, if he couldn’t get her to sit in his lap again, then he’d go to her. He set his napkin on the table, stood, and walked around the table.
Reaching for her hand, he pulled her up and toward him wrapping his arms around her. “You’re one brave lady, Cassie. Facing your fears is one of the hardest things we ever have to do in life. I’m proud of you for taking the bull by the horns like this.”
Her giggle caught him off guard. He held her upper arms and placed some space between them so he could read her eyes. “Lucas, you always know how to lighten the moment.”
Lighten? Hell, he was being dead serious here. Aw, hell. If something he said made her giggle like that, then bring it. He brushed away the wetness from her cheeks.
“You just say when you want me and I’ll be there. Any time. Any place.”
* * *
Cassie rested her head against the curved back of the chaise lounge as the therapist prepared for the session. She had opted to try hypnotherapy for her first session, but if it did not work, she would try the other option Savannah had mentioned.
“If at any time you feel distressed, raise your finger, and I will walk you through it. I like to give my clients a safeword to use if they need to call an end to the session. Do you have a word you would like to use?”
Without a beat, Cassie responded, “Pickle.” She smiled, knowing Lucas was in the waiting area. His presence gave her a sense of calm. He would be there when she left, no matter what happened.
Abigail gave some reminders from their conversation the other day. “You will remain awake throughout our session. I cannot make you do anything you would not do normally.”
Cassie nodded.
“Now, take a slow, deep breath and relax your body into the chaise.” She breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth, slowly and deeply. “As you continue to breathe, you are going to feel your body grow heavier. More relaxed.”
Abigail walked her through a creative visualization as she descended into a deep state of relaxation. Cassie drifted peacefully as the therapist assisted her in letting go of all tension in her body. Her body faded away but her mind remained awake. Under the woman’s calm direction, Cassie felt safe and comfortable. She had a safeword. They could stop at any point if she became too distressed.
“Now, Cassie, you are back there in the cantina and the music is playing. Listen to the music and feel yourself dancing”
Abigail’s voice faded into the background as the music washed over her. Dancing. First with Luis and then…Diego. Her fiancé’s friend frightened her. His black eyes held no compassion. Cold. Hard.
If only Pedro had danced with her when she had asked.
“Breathe in, Cassie. Then let the feelings of fear out through your mouth.”
She relaxed again. Casandra should not be here. Papá and Eduardo would be angry when they learned where she had gone with Pedro. But Pedro had been entrusted to protect her now. They were betrothed.
Diego groped her and she pushed him away. She left the dance floor and returned to where Pedro sat drinking a beer at their table. Angry? What did he have to be angry about? He had given her permission to dance with his friends. How was she to know one of them would have his hands all over her?
When Diego joined them and stroked her shoulder, she batted his hand away again.
Pedro’s expression grew darker. “My chica whores for American men while off studying in America, yet she finds the men at home so distasteful?”
Why was he speaking to her in this manner?
Pedro stood, picked up his beer bottle, and led her toward the back room. “We’ll play a game of pool before I take you home.”
The door to the pool room opened.
Run!
“Tell me where you are, Cassie.”
Fear clawed at her chest. Casandra had never expected what had happened to her, but Cassie knew better—from experience. “My fiancé and two of his friends want me to go to the back room. They say they want to play pool, but truly they want to…” Her throat grew too tight to speak.
“Deep breath and let it go. Before you go into that back room, I want you to imagine that the door to that area is closed. Your younger self, Casandra, is inside with those men. Now, Cassie, when you are ready, I want you to open that door and go inside. You are no longer that vulnerable, defenseless girl. You have learned self-defense techniques now. You may also choose to take a weapon with you. Prepare yourself now to go in and rescue Casandra from those men.”
Cassie stared long and hard before moving forward and opening the door.
Stale beer. Sweaty bodies. The stench assailed her.
Casandra lay face up on the pool table. Terror. Fear. I cannot escape. Pedro stood between her legs and lifted her skirt. Luis held her face as Diego rammed some type of contraption into her mouth and strapped it around her head. Diego held a knife to her throat. “Scream and I cut your throat, puta.”
For the first time, she realized the rape had been planned, not spontaneous. Who would carry that piece of apparatus around if they did not intend to use it in some foul way?
Perhaps nothing she had done—refusing to dance, hiding her breasts from their view—could have prevented them from attacking her. They had set her up. Pedro had betrayed her in the vilest of ways and then let his friends have their turns, too.
Escape, Casandra!
Cassie fought the urge to flee as well, but Casandra needed her. She could not leave her to suffer what these men intended to do.
“Leave her alone.” She set her feet and faced the three of them.
Luis turned to face her. His gaze swept over her body. Dirty. He made her feel dirty.
No, he was the filthy one!
He released Casandra and advanced toward Cassie. She prepared to defend herself as she had learned in self-defense classes with Kitty. He grabbed for a fistful of her hair, and Cassie intercepted his arm, twisting it and throwing him off balance as she lifted her knee to grind it repeatedly into his groin. Luis doubled over and fell to the floor, writhing in much-deserved pain for what he had been about to do to Casandra.
Casandra shoved Pedro away taking advantage of his distraction. She kicked at his chin, snapping his head back and throwing him off balance.
Good for you, Casandra!
Two hands wrapped around her from behind. Diego. She dropped out of the bear-hug cage and swung swiftly to bring her knee up to strike him in the stomach and groin until he, too, fell to the floor.
Seizing Casandra’s hand, she pulled her from the table and they ran from the room, screaming for help but not stopping inside the cantina.
“When you have escaped, Cassie, I want you to take a deep cleansing breath. You are safe now. No one can harm you.”
Sweat chilled Cassie’s forehead. She gasped for breath as if she truly had just run from danger.
Safe.
Empowered.
Coming out of her relaxed state, she remembered how they had delivered justice to her attackers and escaped to safety. She had done it, well, both her younger self and her stronger self.
Abigail asked her questions about the scene and her feelings, calming Cassie more as she lay there. Cassie smiled when she left the therapist’s office and walked down the hallway toward where Lucas waited for her.
* * *
Luke placed the rape-tips brochure back in the rack, overwhelmed after reading all the things he should do to support Cassie, now that she had opened up to him about the rape. He stood for the third time, running his hand through his hair. He’d paced the room three times since he started reading forty-five minutes ago. Good thing the reception area was empty, but the receptionist glanced up and smiled at him—again.
He turned to stare at the closed door through which Cassie had disappeared, as if trying to beseech it to open. Was she okay back there? Did sh
e need him? Would he say or do the right things when she joined him?
Even though the attack happened years ago, it was still new to him. What had he done or said wrong these past months since meeting her at daVinci’s? Some of his fumbles had been inadvertent—like asking her to join him in a game of pool. How could he have known that? Others well-intentioned but wrong, like the way he kept prompting her to tell him more of the ugly details the other night when he held her in his lap. In his mind, getting the story out would help more than hurt.
Besides, despite having done and said the wrong thing many times with her, she had asked him to be here for her to provide companionship and maybe even comfort after the session. Maybe he was doing something right, after all. Right for them, anyway.
What kind of aftercare would she need? He’d trained with Adam and Damián long enough to know how important aftercare was following a cathartic and emotional BDSM scene. But whatever was going on back there had to be equally cathartic and emotional. Would she let him touch her?
Ask first. Don’t surprise her.
How many times had he just gone up and touched her without asking? Clueless. He felt so damned clueless about how to help make her feel better.
Not to mention angry. So fucking angry. He’d done a good job of controlling that anger the night she told him, but ever since he had wanted to pummel her rapists into the ground for what they did to her. If he ever came face to face with them…
No chance of that happening unless he went to Peru, and he had no intentions of doing that. The article even said not to go after the rapists because that would increase the victim’s fear of being attacked again for telling.
Shit. She entrusted him to be here for her, expected him to be supportive, but he had no goddamned clue what to…
The door opened, and he spun around to find Cassie standing there. Her eyes were red-rimmed. She’d been crying. He started toward her, then stopped. Rather than wrap her in a hug, he just held his arms open. Her choice whether she accepted the hug or not.
She stared at him a long moment. When she put one foot in front of the other and closed the gap between them, his heart soared. She wrapped her arms around his waist and he pulled her against him, but not so tight that she’d feel smothered.
“Thank you for being here, Lucas.”
“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. I’ll always be here for you, baby girl. Any time you want to talk, I’ll listen.”
Don’t ask for the details.
“Just hold me.”
Luke lost track of how much time passed, but he could stay like this forever. She felt so right in his arms. At some point, she sniffled and pulled away, surprising him with the radiant smile on her face.
“I am famished. We can eat, return the rental car, and I can ride back to the ranch with you. I just need to let Kitty know of my change in plans.”
“Sounds good to me.”
She didn’t start talking about her session until a few hours later, after they had driven through the Eisenhower Tunnel. “I was able to rewrite the script of what had happened in the Lima bar.”
“What do you mean?”
“Abigail had me visualize what happened, only I was able to stay outside my body, well, the body of Casandra, my younger self.” When she choked up, he reached across the bench seat and squeezed her arm. She cleared her throat. “I was able to change the scenario and outcome—and kick some ass in the process.”
“Good girl.”
She definitely had come out of the session less stressed. He’d never seen her smile so much, but every time he glanced over at her, she seemed to be smiling.
They pulled into his lane and parked between the house and barn. “Why don’t you take it easy? I’ll check in with Matt and see how the horses and alpacas are doing.”
After getting the rundown on how things had gone, he walked Matt to his Sierra.
“Luke, whenever you need me, just call. It’s like a vacation when I come out here. Sometimes I need to get away from it all, especially after fighting all these wildfires.”
“I appreciate the help.”
“You’ve convinced me I need to find a place like this for myself, only closer to the station in Leadville.”
“Do it. I wish I hadn’t spent so many years cooped up in a condo in Denver. Buying this place last year was the best move I ever made.”
Luke said goodbye and watched the truck stir up a cloud of dust on the way to the highway. He glanced toward the house. The light was on in his bedroom. Her bedroom. Even if she wanted to be alone tonight, he’d sleep on the couch in case she had anything come up after her session today.
Restless and at loose ends, he went inside the barn again. In the tack room, he unbuckled his case and pulled out the acoustic guitar. Playing it helped him process things sometimes. O’Keeffe seemed to enjoy hearing him sing, so he carried it out to the corral. She whinnied when she saw him, but kept her distance.
He sat on the hay feeder and began tuning up the instrument. He hadn’t played in weeks. The song going through his head had become O’Keeffe’s theme song, but it sure applied to Cassie, too. The opening strains sucked him in the way the song always did, but now he pictured his reluctant bride’s face before his eyes. He hoped they could continue to build their relationship on a rock-solid foundation. They’d made a lot of progress today, for sure.
“‘I rescued you, you rescued me.’”
“So true.”
At the sound of Cassie’s voice, he stood and turned to face her. Her gaze was on O’Keeffe, but did she realize the words related to their relationship, too?
She smiled and met his gaze. “I missed my sessions with O’Keeffe and thought I would come out to check on her. You are a musician, too.”
“Well, that’s a strong word. I’d say I’m more of a picker.”
“I loved the deep tone in your voice. It resonated through me as if you had touched me.” As if she hadn’t meant to reveal that, she glanced down at the ground. “You should sing often. I can see why O’Keeffe enjoys it. She says that is her favorite song.”
“I’ve only sung a few to her, but that one’s been our theme song.”
“Understandable. The lyrics are perfect.” She met his gaze once more. “I can see us in the words, as well.”
“You do?”
“I do.” She giggled. Sweetest sound ever. “No pun intended.” The smile faded from her face and she nibbled one side of her lower lip. “Lucas, may I ask a favor?”
“Always.”
“Would you stay in the house again tonight, like you did when I had my nightmare last week?”
“I’d already planned to sleep on the couch. Was worried today might have stirred up some things for you.”
She nodded and smiled tentatively. “Honestly, I feel less burdened than I have in a long time, but I do not know what will happen when my subconscious takes over. I hope I will be fine, but I just need the assurance you will be there to awaken me if there is a recurrence of the dreams and night terrors.”
“I’ll be right there in the next room, Sweet Pea.”
“Thank you, Lucas. Not only for tonight, but for being there for me today.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Why was Lucas being such an ass this morning? The past three days had been wonderful. They had enjoyed each other’s company and worked so well with O’Keeffe and the other horses. She had been blessed with three days of no nightmares and had kept so busy she barely thought about the past. Lucas had returned to sleeping in the studio last night when it seemed clear she was not going to have aftereffects of the relaxation session with Abigail.
Then at breakfast this morning, he had raised his voice for some small thing she could not even remember, then announced he needed to blow off some steam. He had been chopping away at the woodpile for nearly an hour.
The man could supply half of Colorado in firewood for the winter.
He had never raised his voice to her or shown he was anno
yed with her in any way before today. Was he growing tired of her being here?
While washing the breakfast dishes, she made a mental note to check for nearby rental places. She did not want to move too far away, but might have to. She wished she could afford a log-cabin kit and a small piece of land in the mountains, but that would be impossible. She had to find studio space at a minimum, even if that meant sleeping on a cot. She needed nothing more to pursue her career. Unfortunately, studios probably weren’t high on most clients’ lists of must-have features in rental homes.
Cassie did not want to think about parting with her alpacas either, although she knew Lucas would give them a home if she could not.
Restless and having nothing else she needed to do inside, she hung up the dishtowel and decided to take her morning walk early. Lucas probably would not want to join her today anyway, but she loved exploring his place with or without him. Walking gave her time to process things, too. Today she had a lot to process. Grabbing her poncho in case of rain and her camera, she only made it as far as the front porch when she saw a Jeep driving at a fast pace up the lane. Luke hadn’t mentioned expecting visitors.
Oh, wait! Luke said his mother was due sometime this month. Could this be her?
She started to turn around and go back inside—mainly so she would not intrude or have to explain her presence—but the vehicle had already driven too close for her to do so without being seen. Inside was an older couple, not just a woman. They were the spitting image of the couple in the photo frame on his mantle. He had not mentioned that his father would be coming as well.
Could this be the reason for the sudden change in Lucas’s demeanor this morning?
Had he told them about her? If so, what had he said? If not, Cassie might be a bit of a surprise for them, especially if they jumped to the wrong conclusions about why she was living here with their son. Judging by the puzzled expression on the woman’s face as the Jeep pulled to a stop near the porch, clearly they were not expecting Cassie to greet them.
Lucas continued to split wood, so he had not heard them approach. Great. How do I handle this? Well, it’s not as though Cassie had anything to be ashamed of being here alone with Lucas.
Nobody's Dream (Rescue Me Saga #6) Page 44