Now what? My job didn't exist any more. I had wanted to prove something to myself and my family. Namely, that I could make it on my own. Nix that idea, thank you Preston. Besides all that, how the hell was I gonna get out of here? And where would I go? The sumo wrestler thing was beginning to look good again. Maybe I should give Melissa a call.
I heard a tap at my door and then, “Avery, may I come in?”
“Why? So you can tell me some more tall tales?”
The door inched open and there he stood, in all of his fucking gorgeous glory. Why did he have to look so damn good? Why couldn’t he be ugly and bald? Or at least fat with acne and giant nose warts or something? But no, he was perfect Preston with sculpted abs, which of course were shown off to perfection by that damn tight black shirt he was wearing.
“I’m not going to tell you any more lies Avery. That was the only one I’ve ever told you. I swear.”
“Oh, that tiny little lie. The only one.”
“I didn’t say it was tiny. It was huge. I can only say I’m sorry so many times. But I am and I will always be. I never intended to carry it this far.” He shook his gorgeous head and rubbed his beautiful face. “I...well, there is no excuse.”
“You’re absolutely right on that one. So, I need to leave. But you see, I have a small problem. I’m at your fucking mercy Preston.” My snarky side had emerged in full force, but I didn’t give a damn. He deserved every bit of it and then some.
He winced a few times when I spoke, but I was beyond caring anymore. I wanted to get out of here. Everywhere I looked evoked such strong memories of us doing such intimate and erotic things, I could barely breathe. I knew I was hurting him, but I was so egocentric now, I couldn’t have cared less.
“Where do you want to go?”
“The airport.”
“But you don’t even have a flight booked.”
“I’ll book one when I get there.”
“Avery, don’t be crazy. You can book one here and stay until it leaves.”
“No!” I didn’t give him the opportunity to say anything further for I was out the door and running down the steps. I swiped the back of my hand across my face, clearing the moisture from my vision. Flinging the massive front door open, I charged straight outside and threw my stuff into the back of the car, taking a seat back there as well. There was not a chance in hell I was going to sit in the front seat with him now. I’d sit out there all night if I had to, waiting on him.
I didn’t have to after all. He showed up a few minutes later. When he took a seat behind the wheel, he turned and raised a brow at me. I gave no response.
“Avery, please.” His voice was tortured and his expression pained. I couldn’t give in. I wanted to, believe me. I wanted to throw myself at him and drag my hands through his hair, lingering at those waves along his nape. I wanted to rest my palms against his heart and feel it beating against my hand. I wanted to taste his skin on my tongue, feel his breath against my lips, but I did none of that. And it nearly killed me. My heart and soul were dying a slow and painful death. But I had to let him go. He had destroyed my trust in him...had obliterated it so completely by living that stupid lie. How could I possibly trust my heart with someone who could live a lie so easily as he had?
He turned back around and started the car. As he did so, the wrenching sobs filled my body. I lay my head down on the backpack and cried the whole way to the airport. When we finally got close, I knew I had to have a plan. He’d come inside and try to persuade me one way or another and I couldn’t let that happen. The airport was just ahead so I made my escape plans. I decided that I needed to get away from him because if I didn’t, I was afraid I’d turn into Jell-O and melt right on the man.
He exited the interstate and followed the signs so I knew we were getting close. If we stopped at a light, I would bail. That way, he wouldn’t have time to park and follow me. For once, luck was on my side and the light turned red right as we approached it. My hand grabbed the handle and damned if it wasn’t locked. I hurried and pulled up the lock manually and tore out of the car as fast as I could. I heard him calling my name, but nothing could get me to stop at this point. Picking up as much speed as my big fat bottom could muster, I huffed and puffed my way to the terminal. United was the first counter I saw so I headed there and asked when and where the next flight was. The agent told me it was headed to Denver and leaving in forty five minutes. Perfect.
“Do you have any seats left?”
“Yes. Are you traveling alone?”
“Yes.” I handed her my ID and credit card. It didn’t take but a few minutes and I was on my way through security. My mind kept seeing images of the last time I flew with Preston, but I forced them back down. This wasn’t the time. If I thought too much about that, I would have a mental breakdown and I couldn’t afford that right now.
Once I cleared security, I exhaled. I must’ve been holding my breath because I literally felt lightheaded. My plane was already boarding so I headed straight to the gate and walked right on the plane. The flight was relatively empty, so I headed to the back of the plane. I wanted to be alone and hopefully I wouldn’t be disturbed back there.
Now that I was away from Preston, I started to process everything that had happened. Had I overreacted? Did I do the wrong thing by leaving? My heart was hurting so badly and I was so angry at what he had done. How could he have made me think our lives were in danger for all that time just to satisfy his own wants? The whole idea of it all sickened me. So there was my answer. I hadn’t overreacted. I buried my head in my hands and cried. It was a good thing the plane was loud so no one could hear my wretched sobs.
Right now, all I wanted to do was to climb in my bed and stay there for a week. But I didn’t even have a stupid bed of my own to climb into. I could hear my mother now. “I told you Avery you shouldn’t have left home. You should’ve listened to me.”
I didn’t dare show my humiliated face in Charleston either. That was the last thing I’d ever do. I’d die first before I’d admit defeat. No way would I go home with my tail between my legs.
The flight attendant popped by to see if I wanted something to drink. I asked for a vodka, but she said since the flight was so short, they would only be serving non-alcoholic beverages. What a pity. We landed shortly after that and I went to the information desk to inquire about a hotel in downtown Denver. I ended up booking a room at boutique hotel and then rented a car. By the time I checked into my hotel, I was a wreck.
When I unpacked my meager belongings, my battered world crashed once again. As I had haphazardly stuffed everything into that little backpack, I had accidentally packed one of Preston’s shirts. At first I simply stared at it, like it was an alien creature, getting ready eat me alive. Then, I dissolved into a puddle of tears, and hugged it to my chest. I could smell his intoxicating scent as I wrapped it around me and it made me weep even more. Crawling to the bed, I curled around it and stayed like that for I don’t know how long.
Sometime late the next morning I woke up, still hugging his shirt. Forcing myself to shower, I then ordered some room service and made a list of things I needed. First off, I’d need a cell phone. The one I had was at Justin’s and while I was at Preston’s I found no need for one. I was also under the impression that I could be tracked if I used one and it would put me in danger. Anger spread throughout my body as I punched my pillow, thinking of how he had told me another lie. I wonder how many he had concocted to make his story believable. What kind of people did that? Lived on lie after lie and then not be bothered by it? I wouldn’t have been able to sleep at night had I done the same thing to him.
I’d always wondered how people could say one could die of a broken heart. I used to think that was such a silly thing. I mean, really. I learned then that it was true and I had no doubt that there were people who surely must have died of that. Because somehow, I knew I was dying a little bit at a time, slowly, painfully of not a broken heart but of a crushed one. The only thing missing w
as the blood.
********
The maid would dutifully knock on my door every day, but I would send her away after accepting a few bottles of shampoo and conditioner and a new bar of soap from her. On the fifth day, the management came by and asked me if I was okay. I assured them I was, physically anyway. Emotionally, I would never be okay. Well, I knew I would be, but I would never be the old Avery again. She was long gone and in her place was someone I wasn’t quite sure I liked very much...someone that was untrusting, suspicious, and broken. I’d look at myself in the mirror and what I saw saddened me. My face was swollen from crying and my eyes looked bruised from my many sleepless nights. Thank God my mother couldn’t see me now.
Two weeks later, I checked out of the hotel and headed to the upcountry of Colorado. I had fallen in love with Vail as a child and maybe I could do so again as a crushed grown up. While I had lain in bed, I had gone through all my options of what I would do. I decided that I didn’t want to go back to work in any type of formal career. So, as I headed up the mountains to either Breckenridge, Vail or Aspen, I’d decided I would tend bar. The ski season was right around the corner and what better way to recover than to spend a winter on the slopes?
Breckenridge was the first town along the way, but I decided to forego it and head straight to Vail. I’d always loved the alpine village and what the mountain had to offer as far as skiing went. Once again, I checked into a hotel. This time it was the Grand Ski Lodge. Then I went to work job and apartment hunting. I was lucky because the local bars and restaurants were hiring for the winter season, so landing a job was relatively easy. I was honest about not having tended bar before, but they told me they’d give me a two week trial period and if I passed, I was good to go. My first day at Tres Chicas, which was a bar and restaurant right at the base of the main gondola in Vail Village, went really well. We weren’t very busy yet, since the season hadn’t officially started. The bartender training me was named Derrick and luckily he was very patient.
“Most of your apres ski drinkers will want ice cold beer. And of course since margaritas are our specialty, that will be a huge pick here too.”
Derrick taught me all the tricks and I picked it up quite easily. He even told me about a couple of vacant apartments for rent in town. One was literally right around the corner. It was a seasonal rental, which was perfect for me, and a studio which, again, was ideal. The rent was pricey, but I didn’t give a damn at this point. I had the money in savings so I decided to go for it. Being miserable and dying of a crushed heart allowed me to be a bit extravagant in this regard.
Stupidity wasn’t one of my strongest suits so I knew it wouldn’t be long before someone would show up in Vail hunting me down. I hadn’t called anyone, even Justin. The whole fucking experience was simply too painful for me to even think about, much less speak of. So late one afternoon, a week after the season opened, I was working and turned around to see Justin sitting at the bar with a half grin on his face.
“How about a cold one for your thirsty brother, Ava?”
Chapter 20
Preston
She was fast, I’ll give her that. I didn’t expect her to leap out of the car. She was also smart because she knew damn good and well I wouldn’t be able to chase her that way. Well, she’d done it...made her get away from me. And it was fucking killing me. I deserved every single kick in the ass I got, but they all still felt lethal to me. And it wasn’t just my ass that was feeling it. Seriously, I wished she’d shot me with that damn gun I’d given her. It would’ve been a hell of a lot faster than this fucking torture I was living through.
The cabin was the only place I had to go, but it was like a living hell for me. Once I got back there, I threw my stuff in a couple of duffle bags and hit the road. I made sure the place was cleaned up and locked down for the winter, because there was no way I would be back there any time soon. Too many memories, and that’s the truth. What the fuck had I been thinking? That she’d roll over and say, “Oh Preston, I just love you so much, it doesn’t matter that you conjured up the biggest fucking lie I’ve ever heard.”
Christ. I threw away the greatest, most beautiful thing that had ever happened to me. And why? Because I’m a fucking manipulating pussy. That’s why. I couldn’t wait and let things play out on their own, the way they’re supposed to. I had to go and take advantage of things, turn them into something they weren’t. And God how I had hurt her...so damn deeply. My arm flew out before I even knew what I was doing and I punched the dashboard of my car. Hearing the bones crunch and then feeling the pain searing through my hand, I was quite sure I had just broken it. At least it was diverting the torment I was experiencing in the rest of my body.
I decided it was a good thing Justin was an orthopedist, because by the time I got to Seattle, I was positive my hand would closely resemble a balloon. I drove the ten and a half hours straight, only stopping to get gas and use the restroom. Sixteen hundred milligrams of ibuprofen held me until I could see a doctor. My hand was already purple and I couldn’t bend any of my fingers. Not good news on the hand front. Served me right though.
It was six in the morning when I hit the buzzer on Caroline’s gate. It took a few minutes for anyone to answer, but I eventually heard Justin’s voice right before the gate slid open.
One look at my hand and he had me in his car on the way to the hospital to get fixed up.
“What the hell were you thinking?”
“I wasn’t,” I answered. “I fucked up bad Justin. I ... oh hell.” I couldn’t stop my leg from bouncing up and down.
“You gonna tell me about it? I know it has to do with Ava.”
“Has she called?” I almost jumped right out of my seat and straight into his.
“No! And calm your ass down right now. What the hell happened between the two of you?”
“Oh God. I ruined everything. Everything. Cuz I’m so damned selfish and stupid.”
“Is that why your hand is smashed?”
“You might say.”
“Can you walk?” he asked as he pulled into the doctor’s parking lot.
“Yeah.” I got out and followed him inside. He led me straight to X-ray where they confirmed that my hand was crunched up.
They had to do surgery to repair all the damage.
“You gonna do it?” I asked him.
“Huh uh, I’m sitting this one out. We don’t usually work on family. You’ll have one of my team though.”
It all happened so fast. One minute we were talking and the next I was being wheeled into surgery. It was a relatively quick repair and nothing too dramatic, or so they said.
My hand hurt like hell for a couple of weeks, but then it began to ease off. The thing about it was the pain in my hand temporarily kept my mind off the anguish in my heart. As soon as it started getting better, that crushing agony hit me again and I wanted to fucking die.
********
We were sitting at the bar in the kitchen when she popped the question I’d been dreading. “So, are you ever gonna tell us what happened?” Caroline asked me.
For whatever reason, ever since Avery left, my legs couldn’t stop pumping up and down whenever I sat. It was a constant motion thing with me. “I can’t talk about it yet.” Up and down, up and down, up and down.
Caroline reached out a hand and put it on my leg. “Preston, I’ve never seen you like this.”
“That’s because I’ve never been like this. I’m so fucking empty inside. Do you remember when you died as Terri? And you thought you’d never see Justin again?”
She blew out her breath and said, “How can I ever forget that?”
“That’s how I must feel now.”
“Oh God, Preston. What the hell happened? Let me help you.”
“I lied to her...for weeks. I never told her we were safe. I led her to believe we were still in danger. She knows everything about us...that you’re really my sister and what actually happened back in Charleston. But I fell in love with her and I was
so afraid of losing her that I lied and lived that lie for so long. And then it became nearly impossible to tell her the truth. I don’t know what I was thinking. I didn’t think...I don’t know. Ugh!” I grabbed a handful of my hair and just pulled on it.
“Jesus. So now she knows and has lost all faith in you.”
“Yes! I hurt her. Christ Caroline, you should’ve seen her face when I told her the truth. It was like I turned off all the lights in her soul. Everything just dimmed. That sparkle in her eyes...it kills me to even think about it.”
“Have you tried to talk to her?”
I gave her a look that spoke way more than anything I could’ve said.
“Yeah, right. Okay, stupid question.”
“I’ve lost her and now I don’t give a fuck about what happens to me. She was the only thing that ever really meant anything to me. She accepted me for all that I was and all that I am. And what did I do? I lied and destroyed her trust in me.”
Caroline was silent for a few minutes. “You’ll have to earn it back.”
“Seriously. You did not see her face. It ain’t gonna happen.”
“So, where did she go?”
I actually chuckled a little. “She pulled a fast one on me at the airport and hopped out of the car so I couldn’t follow her. I don’t know where she is.”
“Oh come on Preston. How hard would it be for you to find her?”
“Not very.”
“Then do it.”
“No. I can’t do that to her. She knows how to find me if she wants. Through you. I won’t intrude where I’m not wanted.”
She narrowed her eyes and said, “Then you’re the biggest dumbass I’ve ever laid eyes on.”
Kissing Fire Page 16