Milky Way Marmalade

by Mike DiCerto

  Angie sounded like a blushing bride. “Somehow, our energy merged. We didn't just dance to the music, we danced as the music. We were...” She hesitated shyly. “...as one."

  But the locks on Caffrey's memory were secured tight, the combination long forgotten. Details of his travels from the artificial Forest of Medieval Stereotypes to the dimension of Nefarious Wretch were less then a blur.

  "You stood playing in the center of the open-air Chapel of Bombadillo. Your music opened the portal into Nefarious's real dimension."

  "His real dimension?"

  "The physical one. It is tremendous, Caffrey. His base is huge. But as we danced and merged our energies, I sensed a terrible qualm. Nefarious despised our love and redirected our energy here. I was able to race to Yin and explain some of what I had seen. Then I hurried back. To you, love."

  He nodded softly, and then in an instant his expression changed. “Do you hear that?"

  "Hear what?"

  Not bothering to explain, Caffrey rushed off through the planets, following some inner sense. Angie followed him to a glistening cylinder of light beyond the farthest world-in-miniature.

  Caffrey looked down at the floor. The sensation of thick, plush carpet beneath his feet was unexpected. He faced a corridor of black-paneled walls, black lamps flickering black light in small pools atop the lush, shaggy black carpet.

  "Can you hear it, Angie?"

  "No."

  "It's coming from beyond that door."

  Angie hadn't noticed the little black door breaking the bland surface of the far wall. Caffrey stood motionless a moment and closed his eyes.

  "Yes! Yes, Caffrey! Now I hear it!"

  It was singing—a delicate castrato voice flowing like honey across the milk-white stomach of a nubile virgin. Caffrey ambled dreamily to the door, pressing his ear delicately against it.

  "What a lovely voice,” Angie whispered.

  "Okay, Angie,” Caffrey said. “I'd like you to explore the area and get an idea of its layout."

  "What about you?"

  "I'll check out the source of the singing. You play spy."

  "Aye, aye, my stirred-but-not-shaken martini muffin."

  Angie drifted off, and Caffrey gently turned the knob and pushed open the door. It took a while for his three-dimensional brain to adjust to the room's configuration. Its design, it appeared, was by a being who combined the artistic sensibilities of Vincent Van Gogh, Salvador Dali and Norman Rockwell. It was a beautiful bedroom that would be the envy of any child with the intellectual capacity to understand the multi-dimensional layout.

  Tilting his head, Caffrey was able to discern two forms silhouetted before the large hyper-sphere window. The taller figure sat on the edge of the bed, his posture perfect as he listened to the shorter figure, a small boy—and the source of the singing. Caffrey maneuvered his way on the strange, perpendicular floor, his body at a forty-five degree angle as he approached the duo. As he drew closer, his eyes adjusted to the bright light. The seated figure turned and faced him. A reflection of blue-and-orange light flew to Caffrey's eyes.

  "Hello, Quark Caffrey."

  "Poe?"

  The small boy stopped singing.

  "Please continue, son,” Poe 33 requested. “You must practice to remain perfect."

  The boy, a blond-haired, cherub-faced child with alabaster skin and disturbingly perfect but completely natural circles of rose on his cheeks, continued his song from where he'd left off. Caffrey stood motionless, watching the boy form each mystical word with tonal perfection.

  "Treo le humana sey. Too ju que re ton ah di,” sang the boy.

  Poe 33 turned to Caffrey and smiled as the lad continued.

  "Poe, is this..."

  Poe 33 raised a shushing finger to his mouth, and Caffrey accommodated the request.

  "Tree lee bee da fa ga poo my ay!"

  The boy closed his mouth as if it were mechanically hinged, bowed to the android then turned on a dime and offered the same courtesy to Caffrey.

  "Very good, child,” assessed Poe. “Why don't you go play with your genetics construction set and see if you can perfect the opera-bellied sapsucker we started?"

  "Yes, Master Poe.” The boy wandered off across the bizarre room to a stack of hyper-cube toy boxes.

  "Charming young shaver, don't you think?"

  Caffrey was almost speechless.

  "Nice to see you, Quark Caffrey. You look well."

  Caffrey took a deep breath.

  "What happened to you?"

  Poe 33 smiled. “I felt a sudden rush of warmth, dare I say, of love, when the bio-electromagnetic matrix of your blood merged with that of my being. I felt an odd but nonetheless euphoric sensation. An orgasm of sound. What was so peculiar was the sound was not restricted to my ears. Nor any individual sense nor combination thereof. I had become this sound. I had become music and was humbled by my own presence. Then the music was silenced, and I found myself standing before a scurrilous being. Nefarious Wretch. I have been here for three weeks."

  "Three weeks?” Caffrey's head was really beginning to throb.

  Poe smiled his famous Mona Lisa smile and stood up. “Follow me."

  He walked towards the small boy, and Caffrey followed. The child was seated at a table, his nose resting on its top. He was lost in thought, studying the various flasks, bottles and Petri dishes scattered about, occasionally observing a partridge-sized bird tweeting away on its perch in a gilded cage. The boy lifted a miniature bellows and blew a sizzling strand of red powder onto the bird's neck. Instantly, its chest swelled like a braggart, and its mouth opened.

  "Ohhhh! Felisi tra! Goo myo la fa!” the bird sang.

  "I did it!” The boy jumped up and down and clapped his hands.

  "Very good, lad.” Poe 33 nodded.

  "You are the grandest toy in the universe, Master Poe!"

  "Toy?” Caffrey could only wonder.

  "The boy's father stipulated that if I were to set foot in his dimension I would have to spend the rest of my days as a plaything for his child. It was either that or eternity in the Power Station of Infinite Annoyance."

  "The what?"

  "It is the huge power station that keeps this world stable. It runs off the energy produced by the annoyance of the prisoners."

  "Annoyance?"

  "Too many questions, Quark Caffrey."

  Caffrey shook his head and watched as the boy gently stroked the head of the bird.

  "Poe,” he whispered, “is he the son of Nefarious Wretch?"

  Poe 33 turned and replied with the voice of experience. “The universe is not only stranger than you can imagine, it secretly dresses in studded leather feety pajamas and spiked purple pasties."

  "Yeah. So I've heard."

  "I suggest you talk to the boy,” Poe 33 whispered.

  Caffrey was in no mood for pleasantries. He accosted the young boy with a stern expression. “Hey, kid, have you been using my friends as playthings?"

  The boy shivered, tears filling his eyes.

  "Quark Caffrey! Easy. He is a very sensitive boy."

  Caffrey softened his glare. “Did you receive a special gift for Labates Day?” he asked brightly.

  "Labates Day?” quavered the boy, confused.

  "Yes! To celebrate your entry into the realm of music-free existence."

  "But I love music!"

  Caffrey was nonplussed. “Hasn't your father taught you to despise it? To be his heir to a galaxy of disharmony?"

  The boy's chin dropped to his chest, and a stream of tears fell to the tabletop like strings of diamonds. “My father hasn't paid me any mind since my mother passed on."

  Not wanting to appear too coldhearted—he could have decapitated the boy for fun—Caffrey further softened his stance. “What's your name?"

  "Name?” the boy repeated, eyes wide and innocent.

  "What do they call you?” Caffrey was gritting his teeth, forcing a smile.

  "Who? What does who call me? There's no o
ne here. At least not until Master Poe arrived."

  Caffrey imagined launching the child through the window. And, although the idea put a smile on his face, he resisted.

  "What does Master Poe call you?"

  "He calls me ‘son.’”

  Caffrey rolled his eyes. “Does your father have my friends?"

  "I don't know. I'm alone."

  "Where is he?"

  "He's out there. In the solid place."

  "The solid place?"

  "That's where I was born. I haven't played there in a long time. I only play here. I romp around here. A ghost in my father's mind."

  "While I am not certain,” Poe 33 said, “I believe we have entered into the very mind of Nefarious Wretch."

  "What a vulgar thought."

  "Perhaps. But I am almost certain."

  "How could our physical bodies be in a non-physical universe?"

  "Our physical bodies are not. You are physically lying unconscious with Yin and Violet in the Forest of Medieval Stereotypes. My body is locked away in the immense station of Nefarious Wretch. I separated my programming and became a trans-dimensional Revenant, much like Angie—whose physical Revenant sphere is also in the solid world."

  "Why did you just vanish?"

  "I was snatched by Nefarious. He fears your blood."

  "My blood? Why?"

  "You are full of questions, Quark Caffrey."

  "If we're in his mind, then he knows our every move."

  "Are you aware of every synaptic firing of your unconscious? Your daydreams? Repressed memories and fears? Secret desires? The mind is a very complicated place, with many places to hide."

  Caffrey's expression changed as more memories poured into his head. He closed his eyes and slapped his hands on his skull as it filled like a tankard left under a pouring tap.

  "Are you okay, sir?” asked the boy, placing his small, soft hand on Caffrey's lower back.

  Caffrey shot a glance at the child and fire filled his eyes. He lunged like a coiled spring and snatched the kid by the upper arms, lifting him up to a face-to-face height.

  "Where are my friends, you little Satanic pastry!"

  "Quark!” Poe 33 warned.

  Caffrey shook the child. “Where are they?"

  The child's face grew red as he desperately tried to form words. Finally, his Christmas-bow lips parted. “My father took them from me!"

  Caffrey dropped the child to his feet and stormed off, out the door.

  Poe 33 shouted after him. “Quark! Quark Caffrey, wait!"

  * * * *

  Caffrey soon discovered that the hallway emerging from the child's room was the final leg of a large and complicated labyrinth. He faced dead end after dead end, bad turn after bad turn. Then his earlobe tingled.

  "Angie?"

  "It's me, my love maze mouse."

  "This is all Nefarious's mind."

  "I know. I have to show you something."

  Caffrey stood thoughtfully a moment then began to move off. “I know the way out."

  "The answer is not outside this maze,” Angie informed him. “It lies at its heart. Follow my directions.” She led the way, calling out right or left as required. It was a matter of ten minutes before they passed the final leg, stopping before a rose-colored drapery.

  "Go through the curtains, Caffrey."

  He stepped through the red material and into the center square of the labyrinth. He'd grown so accustomed to the dark, purplish-black light that the wash of soft pink glow striking his eyes felt almost accosting. As his vision settled, he studied the square room, no larger than his closet back home. Lying on the floor was a broken wooden frame, and in the frame was a faded photo.

  "Look at the photograph, Caffrey."

  It was a picture of a humanoid woman. She was rather homely, with frizzled mousy-brown hair, a bumpy, somewhat large nose and thin, dried lips. Her eyes were terribly crossed, and she wore a baggy, unflattering dress of some coarse and uncomfortable-looking material. Yet she had a curiously pretty smile, and her eyes sparkled with a secret fire.

  "She must have been the apple of Nefarious's eye,” commented Angie softly. “I think she is rather pretty."

  Caffrey wasn't impressed. “It's a single photo in a cheap frame on the floor of a tiny room. Can't be too important as far as memories go."

  "I still think she's his love."

  "You're the eternal romantic, Angie. She's probably some long-forgotten fling."

  "She was actually a Reylinkus conductor. See the emblem on her lapel? Only the finest composers are allowed the honor of leading the thousand-piece orchestras. Quite often the symphonies performed will last decades—in some cases the length of the life of the conductor."

  "Nefarious Wretch fell in love with a musician?” Caffrey shook his head.

  "This is the deeply repressed center of the maze of Nefarious's mind. It has to be important."

  Nefarious laughed, and the sound washed into the room like water from an overflowing toilet bowl. “Nefarious Wretch loves nothing but his own creation. A grand stroke of horrid artistry that will forever make its mark on creation!"

  "Who writes this guy's dialogue?” Caffrey whispered.

  Angie threw the fiend's arrogance back into his face. “You can't fool me, Nefarious. I know true love when I see it."

  Nefarious laughed again, the evil guffaws cheapened by a slightly nervous twitter.

  "Worry not about my loves or lack thereof,” he suggested, relishing each word as it fell from his lips. “Be more concerned with that music-drenched world you fell so deeply in love with, Caffrey Quark. It has been added to my collection!"

  Caffrey's eyes widened, and he dashed from the room.

  * * * *

  Thousands had gathered under the golden glow of the sun as it slowly dipped towards the jagged horizon. Their shadows lengthened by the second as the first stars began to appear in the sky and campfires were set. All of the seven divisions were present, with row upon row of their musical note-shaped Mid C-Winged fighter craft lined up and awaiting the order to penetrate the foul airspace of Nefarious Wretch.

  Yin and Violet stood upon a makeshift platform, together with the seven O.T.H.E.R Division Commanders. Yin lifted a megaphone to his poochie lips and addressed the flyers. His voice boomed across the fields.

  "Valiant members of O.T.H.E.R,” began the small but highly-decorated Bopple, “we find ourselves in a quandary. A quandary that is a challenge but not a roadblock! We are certain that the Portsmith, Angie and Caffrey Trinesmart Quark II have entered the dimension of Nefarious Wretch—although the body of the human lies sleeping in a tent mere feet away from where I am standing."

  A pup tent was set up just off the platform. The unmistakable sound of heavy snoring drifted through the closed flaps.

  "We have gathered, through the brave and timely intelligence of our Revenant compadre, that Nefarious Wretch is using his tremendous resources to create a projection of his mind. It is in this illusory yet very real realm that he has placed the extracted worlds. We are awaiting word as to the exact location of the physical power station. We have devised a plan to assure our entry into the dimension of Nefarious. It involves great danger and risk. But we spit in the crossed eyes of danger!” Yin was really getting into it.

  Cheers.

  "We shall defeat Nefarious!” Yin stood on his hind legs and waved a zealous paw.

  More cheers.

  "We will not allow him to take our freedom!” Yin raised both paws high.

  "Easy, boy,” Violet whispered.

  Yin composed himself and continued. “The plan will take the combined efforts of everyone gathered here. Perhaps it may fail—prove futile.” Then his voice burst out over the assembly. “But it will boil the blood of Nefarious! And if successful, it will ensure the entry of the entire O.T.H.E.R Forces and the end of Nefarious forever!"

  The flyers stood tall and applauded with every cell of their bodies. Yin plopped down on his haunches, his fur puffed
with excitement. Violet and the rest of the commanders took turns patting his head.

  * * * *

  Caffrey raced back through the maze, trying to remember the sequence of rights and lefts. Finding himself lost, he slapped his hand on the wall and cursed aloud. He felt the electrostatic tickle of Angie's presence.

  "There is no way into the Hall of Planets from this side. At least not for 3-D entities such as ourselves."

  Caffrey exhaled hard; then his eyes flashed. “That brat!"

  "What about him?"

  "Help me get back to the hallway outside his room."

  Angie went ahead, calculating the easiest path and returning moments later. Shouting out directions, she led him to the darkly lit hallway outside the bedroom of the son of Nefarious Wretch. Forgoing the courtesy of knocking, Caffrey barged in and found himself facing Poe 33.

  "Quark?"

  "Hi, Poe,” Angie greeted.

  "Why, hello, my lovely Revenant. It does seem like decades since I have been graced by your songbird vocals."

  "Why, thank you!” Angie almost blushed.

  Caffrey threw back his head impatiently. “Poe, I need the kid to help me back into the Hall of Planets."

  The android nodded, anticipating his concerns. “Please come with me."

  Poe 33 turned and led Caffrey through some odd twists and previously invisible segments of the multi-dimensional room. They emerged in a hidden corner, where the boy sat cross-legged on the floor playing with a miniature black hole spinning in a case of protective magnetic shielding.

  "Will you show him your new toy, son?” Poe 33 asked of the boy.

  The lad stood and lifted a transparent container from the depths of a hyper-cube toy box. Within the box a milk-and-blueberry cream sphere slowly rotated in its axis.

  "Toy?” Caffrey spat angrily.

  "He thinks everything is a toy,” explained Poe 33.

  "This appeared moments ago in the big room with the colored balls,” explained the boy softly.

  He held out the box for Caffrey, who took it in his arms. There it was, his home planet. In a galaxy of unspeakable evil and undeniable beauty, this was a world, his world, containing the total spectrum. He had his whole world in his hands.

  "I feel like a gospel music lyric,” Caffrey muttered. He looked at the boy. “Do you know how to get out of this place?"