Milky Way Marmalade

by Mike DiCerto

  Finally, after what seemed like five minutes but was actually an empty glance into time's infinity, the force of Poe 33's reverse thrust rocked up Caffrey's spine; and the android landed, like a daisy petal on a breezeless spring morn.

  "Are you okay, Quark Caffrey?"

  Caffrey's mouth formed a confident “yes” but no sound was emitted. Poe 33 smiled.

  Angie flipped back and forth excitedly. “That was quite a ride, my two Newtonian love apples!"

  Again Caffrey agreed, but the actual audio remained somewhere behind his heart, which pounded beside his tonsils.

  There was only one door before them, and needing to assert himself somehow, Caffrey opened it. A rush of wind dragged the door from his grip and slammed it against the wall, sending a blast of sound bouncing around the corridor beyond like a pinball. The three stood silent until the echo vanished into the distance.

  Caffrey stepped through the doorway into a large room filled with a twisting tree of pipework. He peered around.

  "Looks like some sort of utilities station."

  He stroked the thick pipes running up, down and around the walls before him, and an idea launched in his mind. He rapped a pipe with his knuckles. The hollow clang raced off like a horse on a track and seemed to split, branch off and spread all around them. Finally, after ten resonant seconds, the clang faded to nothing. Caffrey smiled and looked at Poe 33.

  "Poe. Hendrix. ‘Purple Haze.’”

  The Portsmith smiled, raised a finger, tapped his temple and winked.

  * * * *

  Throughout the many dark and lonely corners of Nefarious's base, the vibrations came. Electric waves of music vibrated the essence of the metal and radiated into the air. Solid chords reached into the darkness and flickered with light, piercing the angry steel walls and cold empty spaces. They seeped into the center of the pounding engine and were not well received. The beat grew angrier, faster—the entire base shook, like a cynic taunted by the beauty of the universe. It refused to accept the heart-striven harmonies. The craft recoiled, and shunned the sounds.

  But the power of the reversed-stringed Stratocaster made its way to the outer walls of the stronghold. An audio plum-colored mist sustained its texture as it penetrated into the massive stone at the head of the base. Micro-vibrations, like tiny nose-hairs, reached through the rocky material and into the dark cold of space. They didn't go unnoticed. A small, spherical robot, busy with its task of transforming the random ridges and valleys of the asteroid's surface into the delicate and beautifully designed form of the human face, took heed.

  Peebo shimmied and shook with delight. He'd analyzed the sound waves and his incredible intuition linked it to the music library of Poe 33's circuits and Caffrey Quark's heart. He gyrated another happy dance and took a break from his chore.

  * * * *

  The ground trembled with each pound of the engine's pulse. Poe 33, holding onto the pipe, continued sending the potent, blues-infused, high-voltage chords coursing through the network.

  "I think Nefarious is getting upset,” Angie decided.

  "I'm hoping my friends will hear this,” explained Caffrey, studying Poe has he worked. “Give them a sense that hope is near."

  A sudden surge of energy flashed through the pipeworks, and Poe 33 was knocked back on his tokhes. The music went silent and the heartbeat returned to normal.

  "Well, that was unexpected,” the android said calmly. Tiny blue and yellow static charges wriggled and waned across his limbs as various warning lights on his torso flashed briefly.

  "You okay?"

  The android clambered to his feet. “Yes. I get the sense that this station is an extension of Nefarious's brain. The very walls of this place surge with a life force."

  Without warning, and as if to illustrate Poe's theory, the corridor was sealed in, two walls forming from material poured from thin air. It closed them in a solid steel box.

  "Like I was saying..."

  "Light, Poe,” Caffrey asked. “Please."

  Poe 33 illuminated a brilliant lamp in his forehead. They were, indeed, in a box. He shot a thin rod of purple energy at the wall. The erosion of the metal by the laser was quickly filled in as more of the material morphed out of some invisible ether.

  "It appears to be self-healing,” concluded Poe as he tried his best to bring the power of his laser to previously unaccomplished heights.

  Caffrey slumped against a wall. “Terrific."

  * * * *

  They had been pondering their dilemma for a solid half an hour when a sharp tap on the wall startled the trio. They stood silently, the heartbeat pounding away incessantly. The metal-on-metal tap rang out again.

  "Who could that be?” asked Angie in a nervous whisper.

  Caffrey drew his weapon, and Poe 33 extruded the barrel of one of his numerous built-in firearms. A bizarre sound cursed the air. It was a high-pitched squeal, like a steel dish spinning on a glass floor combined with a deep, rhythmic warbling. A bulge morphed from the wall of steel, like a spinning fist pushing into a rubber sheet.

  "Frankly, that's rather disturbing,” confessed Poe 33.

  The manifestation pushed deeper and deeper until it broke through, bringing light into the room. Attempts by the self-healing metals to close the hole were frustrated by a thick ring extruded by the intruder, creating a widening hole that eventually formed a portal large enough for a full-sized human to exit.

  Caffrey and Poe 33 took advantage of it, and Angie easily followed. The ring followed them, slipping from the hole and collapsing, reforming itself into a familiar sphere with an inner crimson glow. Peebo bobbed up and down like an excited puppy.

  "Peebo!” Angie cried with great elation.

  "How in bloody hell did you get here?” Caffrey stared quizzically as he fired the question.

  The little ball-shaped android went through an exotic dance as he tried to explain his adventures. When Caffrey looked to Poe 33 for a translation, the Portsmith simply shrugged.

  "You must understand him,” insisted Caffrey.

  "Bits and pieces,” answered Poe 33 with definite disdain in his voice. “One would think such a fancy-shmancy android would be able to speak a verbal language."

  "Poe!” scolded Angie, “He's your baby brother! Be nice to him!"

  The Portsmith shrugged and gave in. “He says the Blodians gave him to Nefarious after they were finally able to please the Wretch with a facial design. Peebo has been working, alone, on the huge construct for days."

  Peebo added to the story with more dips and shakes.

  "He says he heard the nice music moments ago and was pleased as punch that we had returned."

  "Peebo, we're glad to have you back,” said Caffrey, patting the floating robot on its top.

  Peebo danced some more then nuzzled Poe 33's neck. The Portsmith seemed to blush.

  "He says he missed and loves us all."

  Angie was ecstatic. “How sweet!"

  But Caffrey wanted to move on. “Peebo, do you have any idea where Nefarious resides?"

  Peebo reshaped himself into a bass drum—a hand morphed and pounded the same, steady beat of the engine.

  "We were right,” Caffrey said softly, catching Peebo's drift. “Do you know the way?"

  The little robot danced again, brightening his inner illumination, and shot off down the corridor.

  The trio followed. At times they had to jog in order to stay within sight of Peebo, whose cherry glow flickered on the walls like blood. Finally, they reached an archway roughly hewn in the steel walls and stepped out onto a catwalk coiling around a huge shaft. They could see windows scattered at irregular intervals as they looked up the infinity of the shaft, and a similar prospect as they viewed its bottomless fall.

  Peebo began his descent, staying on the angled catwalk, and the others trotted behind. They'd only descended three levels when Peebo stopped before an airlock. He gyrated and shook.

  "He says, Quark Caffrey, that we will be exiting into open space.
You, since you are human, will have to wear a special suit."

  Peebo stretched and folded and became a small, one-man probe. A bladder of thinly formed metal inflated atop the unit, filling with a large supply of air from the shaft.

  "Very clever, Peebo,” Angie complimented.

  Caffrey stepped into the hollow of the probe and it sealed itself. Peebo communicated to his older brother to open the door.

  Traveling through the underground network of steel veins had made it impossible for the group to determine where they were with respect to the ship's design. As they stepped out onto a narrow walkway latticing the exterior of the huge craft, it was no longer a mystery as to at which end they had emerged. The huge asteroid filled their view, the details of the sculpture clearly apparent under the mysterious illumination.

  Peebo launched out into space, and Caffrey's adrenaline surged. It was a feeling of freedom he had never experienced. All around him, the celestial bodies hung—blue stars, planets, and the convoy of fighters. He felt like a breeze in a dream. Peebo arched around to the front of his handiwork, finally coming to rest a kilometer or so from the face.

  "Amazing,” murmured Caffrey. “It's Nefarious's mousy ex."

  Peebo took off toward the face of Nefarious's love and, to the surprise of everyone, entered her left nostril.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Love Reign O'er Me

  Only Love can bring the rain that makes you yearn to the sky.

  The Who

  The left nostril was quite roomy. Peebo came to rest and released Caffrey into a chilly, breezy atmosphere somehow contained in the hollow space. The vibrations of the heartbeat could be felt in the air, but its sound was nonexistent. Caffrey's hair was blowing in the nasal zephyr.

  It was an obvious question. “Where's that wind coming from?"

  "That exhaust fan is causing it,” said Poe 33, pointing a shaft of light at the giant spinning blades encased in a cage on the far wall.

  Caffrey led the way, enjoying the feel of his hair blowing free. The wall was smooth, rising up a hundred meters and east-west three times that. A thick coating of gray dust marred the metallic shine that peeked through in the handful of clean spots.

  His eyes widened. “Wait a second..."

  He scanned the wall. Sure enough, another of the giant cylinders protruded from the eastern side.

  "Those look like engine cones."

  He stepped up to the center point between the two and used his palm to wipe away a wide swatch of dust. When the cloud settled, the bright yellow paint screamed out.

  "Poe, can you blast away this dust?'

  "Of course,” the android said, stepping closer. “Not only am I equipped with devastatingly deadly armaments, I also have a 7500-psi air compressor. Shall I commence?"

  "Commence."

  In seconds the entire cave was filled with thick, gag-inducing dust as a powerful blast of air shot from Poe 33's mouth. As it settled, Poe looked sheepishly at Caffrey.

  "Sorry, I forget you biologicals are so delicate."

  The blast had revealed a stretch of fanciful symbols in a language unknown to Caffrey.

  "Can anyone read this?"

  "Yes,” replied Poe 33. “It is a very ancient language. Zequillian. Used on a system very, very far away at the core of the Milky Way. Some three thousand light-years. Almost impossible for a human to pronounce. The closest approximation would be to gargle jelly whilst whistling the words. ‘Pooloo Obcrem Scropis.’ It translates roughly to ‘Princess of the Ghostly Heart.’”

  "Angie?"

  "Searching, my google basket,” Angie obliged. “Interesting. The Pooloo Obcrem Scropiis was a luxury cruise liner. Took decade-long jaunts between the Zequillia and Ujakreesa systems. It disappeared without a trace ... ten thousand years ago."

  "Peebo, is Nefarious within this asteroid?"

  Peebo danced before his older brother, and Poe 33 conveyed the message.

  "He says, if you mean the core of Nefarious, yes. We should follow him."

  "The core of Nefarious?"

  "Yes, Quark Caffrey. Those were his words. So to speak."

  "Lead the way."

  Peebo glided off towards a dark opening to the south of the engine nozzles. The group followed along a spiraling tube cut through the body of the asteroid. As they delved deeper the ground grew moist and the ceiling became dotted with constellations of condensation droplets. The air felt thick and humid, like the hot breath of a giant. Tunnel openings branched off in every direction, some with impossibly twisted paths; but Peebo never faltered, never paused for a second to contemplate the way.

  The deep pounding reverberated stronger, more menacingly. No sound accompanied the beat but the walls vibrated and a rain of moisture was shaken free with each pulse. The silence was unnerving. Caffrey was expecting the annoying, rather cornball taunting—perhaps more of the assaulting imagery. Yet there was nothing but soundless vibration.

  "Is he here, Peebo?"

  The little android shook his body in the affirmative.

  "Why is he so quiet?” asked Angie.

  Peebo's silent answer seemed to imply impatience.

  "He says we should all hold our zebadoos,” explained Poe.

  Finally, the tube narrowed to an opening, and Peebo came to a halt. The heartbeat was close. Very close. Caffrey could feel the vibrations on his face like dry ocean waves. Peebo jiggled.

  "We can go no further,” Poe 33 translated. “There is a great drop. But if we look carefully, we will see Nefarious in his true forms."

  "Forms?"

  "Forms,” repeated Poe 33.

  Peebo launched forward and quadrupled his glow. Caffrey, Poe 33 and Angie looked out over the ledge.

  "Oh, my,” Angie softly gasped.

  Peebo's light glistened off the steamy walls of a large chasm. Down below, a pulsing fleshy form, partially encased in a tortoise-like segmented shell, expanded and contracted with each beat. It was huge, easily thirty meters in diameter and ten thick, and muscular legs locked it to the walls and floor. The shell was patterned in crisscrossing lines forming a checkerboard of white and black. From each of the darker squares sprouted living beings of many, many shapes and designs, in various stages of growth. They swayed and undulated with the mother form. It looked like an extremely bizarre chess set.

  "What is it?” Caffrey stared at the living monstrosity, unable to figure on an appropriate reaction.

  "I have never seen anything like it,” Poe 33 stated.

  "Peebo, dear,” whispered Angie, “what is that?"

  Peebo gave a little dance; and Angie, who was beginning to learn his motion-based language, explained. “Peebo says this is Nefarious's heart."

  "Actually,” Poe 33 corrected, “the term he used was ‘core.’”

  "What are all those things growing out of it?” Caffrey wondered aloud.

  "Things?” one of the things said with an indignant air. “I'm not a thing. I am a Fleebeest-in-waiting."

  Indeed it was—Caffrey recognized the creature. Fleebeests are quasi-humanoids usually found on the dry desert world of Calaiz. It raised its upper body, revealing its ram-like shoulder horns, looked up at Caffrey and frowned.

  "What do you want?"

  Caffrey was dumbfounded. Even the Portsmith seemed at a loss for words. The Fleebeest was in a testy mood.

  "Well? I haven't all day to dawdle. I might be offsprung any moment and I must be ready!"

  "Ready for what?” Caffrey wished to know.

  The Fleebeest was astonished at his ignorance. “For what? For life! Nefarious won't live forever. I'm next."

  Caffrey turned to Peebo. “I thought you said that was Nefarious?"

  With uncharacteristic impatience, Peebo shimmied and wiggled.

  "He says it is Nefarious's core,” explained Poe 33.

  Caffrey decided to go to the horse's mouth—or rather, sprouting torso.

  "Excuse me,” he shouted down into the cavern. “We're looking for Nefarious?
Is he around?"

  "What kind of ridiculous question is that?” the annoyed, partially-spawned Fleebeest retorted. “I am Nefarious!"

  Caffrey dropped his head. “Oh, I can see this is gonna be fodder for a hell of a headache.” He rubbed his temples.

  Poe 33 stepped up. “If Nefarious won't live forever, yet this is Nefarious's core, how can you be Nefarious?” It was a justifiable question.

  "I am what he is until I am what he is not and thus will be."

  "Where is the Nefarious that is neither you nor this?” asked Caffrey.

  "Now you're getting it,” the thing that was, yet wasn't, Nefarious replied, “He's not here."

  Caffrey was losing his patience. “Where is he?"

  "About. You don't have any coinage on your person do you?"

  "Coinage?"

  "Coinage. Loose change. I despise loose change with all my being. When it is my turn to be I will recreate this galaxy free of coinage."

  "How can you despise loose change if you have never left this place?” asked Poe.

  "It is in my nature."

  Another voice chimed in. “As I abhor rippling water."

  It came from the scale-covered, narrow-headed creature half-spawned beside the Fleebeest. “...And after the one who is yet to be Nefarious has replaced Nefarious and has become Nefarious, I will become Nefarious and free the galaxy of rippling water."

  A half-dozen other very diverse sets of torsos rose and made their point.

  "I hate vertical walls."

  "And I purple light."

  "And me chlorophyll!"

  "I detest radio frequencies!"

  "Me, reflections!"

  "And I, bumpy surfaces!"

  Caffrey's headache was growing very bumpy but he decided not to mention it. He turned to Poe 33. “Either of you have a clue?” he whispered.

  Poe 33 shrugged. He had no clue. Angie volunteered.

  "Searching, my confused-as-I-am sparkle sponge."

  Caffrey addressed the Fleebeest. “When will you become Nefarious?"