Addicted After All

by Krista Ritchie

  What the hell is she talking about? I tilt my head at Connor for answers.

  He scratches behind Sadie’s ears, and I can’t shake how submissive a normally hostile cat is in his care. “We called both of you to see how Hale Co. went, and no one answered.”

  Lily raises her hand like she’s in class. “I rarely answer my phone.”

  “Yeah,” I say with a deeper frown. “We barely talk on the phone with each other.” I motion between my body and Lily who is now sitting behind me. She holds onto my waist and peeks from behind my bicep, seriously avoiding this damn cat.

  “It just feels like we’ve been left out of important discussions,” Rose says without blowing a fuse. I bet they both prepared and talked out this entire conversation before bringing up the subject. “Like the other day, Ryke mentioned how Lily’s been having a hard time with her addiction. Where was I for this talk?”

  I open my mouth to respond, but she already has an answer.

  “I’ll tell you where.” She leans forward. “Downstairs.”

  Jesus. This is not the first time she’s complained about room arrangements. She’s the one who chose the master on the main floor. The biggest room with the biggest bathroom with the biggest goddamn closet. Ryke didn’t care. Daisy didn’t care. Lily didn’t care. I cared on principle, but I let it slide after I saw the amount of pressed shirts Connor owns.

  Now she’s worried about being “isolated” from the rest of us who room on the second floor. I ask, “You really think it’s an issue of proximity?” Maybe she’s bitching because Lily and Daisy are getting closer, and it scares her—being on the outs. Turning into Poppy Calloway who’d rather be with her husband and child than spend time with her sisters.

  Rose doesn’t want that. She’s made it vitally clear.

  She raises her hand to silence me. “If it’s not proximity, then it means you both favor Ryke and Daisy over us, and I’m giving you both the benefit of the doubt.”

  I look to Connor like come on. He can’t agree with her.

  “I don’t believe you’re playing favorites, but it’s frustrating, even for me, to receive information later than I like.”

  I scan the room with my arms outstretched. “I don’t see Ryke and Daisy anywhere for this conversation.”

  Rose sits straighter. “That’s because we’re on the second floor.”

  Lily pipes in, “Do you want to switch rooms with us?”

  “No,” Rose says.

  Connor adds, “That solves nothing.”

  I recognize now that we’re what bridges Ryke, Daisy, Connor, and Rose together. I feel Lily kneel behind me, her lips close to my ears. She whispers really quickly, “We’re the popular ones.” The surprise in her voice almost makes me smile uncontrollably.

  I can’t ever remember being this in-demand.

  “This is not amusing,” Rose says, crossing her arms in a huff. But she can’t really do the action with her baby bump, and she growls in frustration.

  Connor rubs her ankles, and she calms down some.

  I kind of feel badly. I mean, we’re not intentionally trying to shut anyone out of our lives. When we were at the height of our addictions, we did it purposefully, all the time. Now we’re actually trying to be inclusive. “You two usually just insert yourselves,” I tell them.

  Rose folds her hands on her stomach. “It’s harder when you can go run to other people with your issues.”

  “And just to remind you,” Connor says in his fluid tone, “Rose and I are certified geniuses. We can solve problems faster than the average human brain. If you’re smart, you would take advantage of that.”

  “I don’t take advantage of people until the third date,” I banter.

  His lips lift in a grin. “We’ve already kissed. I think we’re past that point.” The kiss in Mexico—it’s been blowing up on social media, and it’s causing more speculation for Connor and me than I thought it would.

  “Are you okay…?” I trail off because I suddenly realize I’m asking Connor Cobalt if he’s doing alright. The self-confident expression he has is priceless.

  “Of course I am,” he tells me.

  I am glad, but I wonder if there will be a day where he’ll show me more of his cards. I wonder if I’ll always just be the “liability” in his game of chess.

  “We’re going to move into one of the guest rooms,” Rose suddenly blurts out, returning the conversation to its focal point.

  Lily’s jaw drops comically.

  Rose has been body-snatched.

  I ask, “You’re going to give up your giant ass walk-in closet?”

  “I’ll still keep some of my clothes in that closet, but all of my essentials will be going in our permanent room on the second floor.”

  Connor nods in agreement.

  Wow. Rose loves Lily enough to sacrifice wardrobe space and a bathroom twice the size of the one she’ll now be using. It’s a huge statement, and Lily is stunned to silence behind me. And then she crawls off the bed and risks an attack from Sadie to hug her sister.

  “What are you doing?” Rose says with wide eyes like Lily is about to burn her collection of heels.

  “This is how I show my love,” Lily says with a squeeze.

  Rose replies back with a stiff pat, and they both whisper something to each other that sounds like I love you.

  Then Sadie hisses at the girls.

  Lily shrieks and darts back onto the bed, the mattress bouncing beneath me.

  “Easy, love,” I tell her, cautiously watching as she crawls behind me. At first my concern peaks since she’s really fucking pregnant, but then she climbs onto my back in fright. And I shouldn’t be smiling at her fear…but Lily is pretty precious when she uses me as a safety net.

  “Sadie hates hugs,” Rose says. “A woman after my own heart.” She pats her lap, and Sadie curls on top of Rose’s baby bump and purrs.

  “Look at that, bitches congregate together,” I say, regretting it the moment it escapes.

  Connor arches his eyebrow at me, a small defensive warning, one that Rose misses because she gives me a death-glare of ginormous proportions. I deserve that one.

  “Lily,” Rose says. “I’m giving the floor to you since Loren abuses it.”

  “Burn,” I say dryly.

  Lily clears her throat and peeks behind my arm, reading off her notes. “After surfing the internet, it has come to my attention that cats and newborns do not get along.” That fact isn’t that surprising.

  Rose stiffens more, and she protectively holds onto Sadie. Connor studies his wife with more intensity than before—it’s all really not making a lot of sense to me. I get that Rose has grown affectionate towards Sadie—well, as affectionate as Rose can be with anything.

  But she had to have known about this cat and baby stuff. She probably did a ton of research about it.

  Lily continues when no one interjects, “There’ve been instances where cats smother babies in their cribs. And they even suck the baby’s breath.”

  “What?” I snap, turning to peer at the notes Lily took.

  “I saw video clips,” Lily whispers. “They like to smell the baby’s milk and suck it out of their mouths.” I’m not okay with this. I feel my face start to sharpen.

  “I speak on behalf of the accused,” Rose chimes in. “And these allegations are all urban legends.”

  I gape at her. “You’re seriously going to allow that cat around your baby? Lily has…” I count her post-its. “Seven notes—”

  “Eight!” Lily says, waving around another pink post-it. “I was sitting on one.” Her skin splotches with red patches.

  I hug her to my side. “Eight notes. That’s evidence enough.” I wait for Connor to jump in and speak up for Rose and his pet, but he stays quiet, like the judge.

  I have a suspicion he’s going to make the final verdict anyway.

  “We’ll keep Sadie out of the nursery,” Rose says. “And I’ll acclimate her to the newborns before they arrive.”

&n
bsp; “How?” I question.

  She types something on her cellphone and then holds it out to the tabby cat. The sounds of a crying infant blare through the speakers. Sadie arches her spine and swats the damn phone out of Rose’s hand, hissing at it.

  Lily clings tighter to me, and my mouth falls, imagining that as my son and not a phone. “No way,” I force.

  Rose tries to calm Sadie with a pat on the head. “I know. Those are horrific noises.”

  Connor suddenly rises and snatches Sadie by the torso. “She can’t stay in this house with little children, Rose. She’s a jealous cat, and if she senses a change in our affections, she’ll take it out on them.”

  “I’m not abandoning Sadie because she’s territorial.” Rose stands to her feet and defiantly plants her hands on her hips.

  “I’m not asking you to abandon anyone,” Connor says. “We’ll give Sadie to Frederick for a few years, and then she can come back and stay with us.”

  This sounds like a good plan to me. “Would your therapist take her?”

  Connor nods. “He’s single and could use the companionship.”

  Rose doesn’t break Connor’s gaze. “This is why I don’t like children, Richard. We’re already sacrificing things that we love and the baby isn’t even born yet. In fifteen years, I don’t want to look back and see how much I lost…” It’s a little late for that. She must be thinking this because she stops herself short and inhales a strained, panicked breath.

  My fears don’t align with Rose’s. Maybe because I’ve never been ambitious, had larger than life aspirations. I can’t see things that my kid may take from me because there is nothing for Maximoff to take.

  Connor lets Sadie down, and she sprints out the doorway. I watch him clasp Rose’s hand in his. “You will not lose anything that you can’t gain,” he says. “You make sacrifices every day for your sisters. You just made one today, darling.” He’s talking about giving up the bedroom. “And in the end, those sacrifices are worth the love you’ll receive.”

  “Says the man who used to scorn love,” she retorts.

  His mouth curves in a grin. “And I never wanted a child because of love, not until I fell in love with you.”

  What? I cut in, “Why the hell would you want a kid then?”

  Rose sighs like she’s expelling her fears. “Because he’s completely egotistical and likes the idea of procreating for power.”

  Connor’s grin overtakes his face. He kisses her forehead and adds, “We’re already one-eighth Cobalt empire, darling. Seven more to go.”

  She punctures him with her stare. “That is yet to be determined. Don’t finish the book before it’s written, Richard.”

  Loud noises suddenly emanate from across the hallway. I frown. “What was that?” We all go quiet, listening harder.

  Muffled screaming…and shouting.

  Lily springs off the mattress. “They’re fighting,” she says in alarm, rushing out into the hallway. Rose is quick behind, more curious than scared like my girlfriend.

  Lily is way too invested in Ryke and Daisy’s relationship, and I’m partly praying they stay together just to dodge the emotional fallout that’ll happen from Lily.

  Connor and I follow the girls by walking instead of hysterically sprinting and bouncing down the hallway. By the time we reach Ryke and Daisy’s room, Rose and Lily already have their ears pressed against the wooden door.

  “They’re nosy as hell,” I mutter, and both the girls shush me. It’s not like we can’t hear them just by standing here.

  “Stop being so pushy about it!” Daisy yells.

  Her raised voice actually cuts me up in ways that I can’t process. I’ve never heard her shout like that. I grit my teeth, a weird part of me wanting to throttle my own brother. The larger part trusts him fully, and I rely on that to keep me grounded here.

  Connor casually leans his shoulder against the wall. “We knew this was going to happen,” he reminds me.

  Still, it feels worse than I imagined.

  “It’s a simple fucking fact, Dais,” Ryke retorts. “You don’t want to go, so you don’t fucking go. Done.”

  “Great theory,” she says heatedly. “So if I don’t want to go get my bike checked tomorrow, it’s fine. I don’t have to fucking go.”

  “Your bike is fucked up. It has to get fixed.”

  “Theory disproven then.”

  Ryke growls in agitation.

  Lily’s eyes are as wide as saucers, and I see her reach out for the doorknob like she’s going to intervene. I swiftly jog over to her and clasp her wrist.

  “Lo,” she whispers like we have to do something.

  “All couples fight,” I remind her.

  She can’t respond because Ryke’s voice grows louder. “That’s not what this is about! And you fucking know it!” I’ve been on the receiving end of Ryke’s aggressive “tough-love” behavior, and it’s not always fun. Daisy’s hard to communicate with though, so I have no clue who’s in the right or the wrong here.

  “That sounds bad,” Lily breathes, and with my hand on her wrist, I feel her pulse racing. Her sex addiction has harmed Daisy’s life in significant, irreversible ways, and Lily is holding onto this one good thing that Daisy has.

  While I love my brother, Daisy can exist without him and still function and find happiness. They’re not us—too codependent—and I thank God, Fate, whatever powers that be, for that.

  “Shhh,” Rose says, listening again.

  We all quiet to the sound of a violent banging, from a body into a piece of furniture. I freeze and hear the proceeding sounds: a high-pitched cry from Daisy. “Ahhhhh! Ryke, Ryke!”

  Shit. I internally cringe at her sex noises.

  And then a deep grunt filters through the door. Both Lily and Rose back up from the wood like it electrocuted them.

  I give Lily a look like does that really sound bad? To me, yeah, it’s not what I’d want to fall asleep to, but it’s better than yelling.

  Lily is beaming, and she pumps two fists in the air and does a short victory circle in the middle of the hall. When she realizes that she’s doing this for real and not in her head, she flushes bright. “Oh…”

  I tug on her baggy tee and pull her into my chest, holding her tightly. Her green eyes are big and round and gaze up at me with longing and light.

  There’s something about Lily that makes all the terrible parts of me seem irrelevant. That makes a bad day momentary and a good one infinite.

  It’s love like this that’s worth living for.

  { 26 }

  LILY CALLOWAY

  “Lily! We’re about to start!” Rose’s voice sounds down the first floor hallway.

  “Two minutes!” I shout back, focusing on the piles of clean clothes. The laundry room might be as big as Rose’s old walk-in-closet, but I still have to separate my sisters’ shirts and panties. Rose, Daisy, and I usually throw in our clothes together and let the guys fend for themselves.

  I’ve never done my laundry with Lo, even when we were fake dating and sharing an apartment. It’s not that it was too intimate. It’s that we were both too lazy to harass the other person for their hamper and any other dirty clothes lying around.

  I am one-hundred percent certain that Connor does his own laundry and he’ll even wash Lo’s on occasion. I assume that Ryke does his own too, but I’ve never seen him even pass this room, let alone venture inside.

  I sit on the cold linoleum floor and fold panties, something I didn’t know had to be done. When I returned Rose’s undies to her all crumpled next to her neatly folded blouses, she gave me a serious stink-eye. How was I supposed to know you fold underwear? Don’t they naturally unwrinkle when you put them on?

  Rose was not buying my argument. So here I am, taking my time to separate our pajamas and panties and (unenthusiastically) folding them.

  I set aside Daisy’s “day of the week” cotton underwear and focus on the large pile. I apply the reach-in-and-grab method, never knowing what’ll come n
ext.

  When I pull out dark cotton fabric, I expect a pair of Daisy’s PJ shorts to reveal themselves. Instead, I hold a pair of boxer-briefs.

  Male underwear.

  Dark green.

  I know Lo’s underwear, and that is not a Loren Hale color.

  I drop them on instinct. They’re either Connor or Ryke’s, but only one of them is rude enough to sneak his clothes into the girl piles.

  Ryke.

  I just touched Ryke’s underwear! The same fabric that has also touched his penis. Does that mean by process of deduction that I just…

  Grossgrossgross. I back away from the mound of clothes like it has turned into a tiny bomb ready to explode at my feet. Do not imagine the underwear on him. I’d rather be skeeved out than aroused, even if Ryke tells me it’s okay to feel the latter. I may be able to look him in the eyes now, but it still feels a little wrong being turned on by anyone but Lo.

  “Lily!” Rose calls my name again.

  “Okay! Okay! I’m done!” Not really, but I’m glad for the excuse to leave his underwear behind. Where it should be. Far far away from me.

  When I enter the spacious living room, I realize that I’ve been tricked. Not everyone is here yet. And the person I looked forward to seeing the most (Loren Hale) is blatantly absent. Connor stands by the window in black slacks and a white button-down, texting quietly, while Ryke lounges on the nearby couch, his hands all chalky from a morning climb.

  “Where’s Lo?” I ask Rose, who’s sitting on the Queen Anne chair, as though waiting for her royal subjects to arrive. She’s in a gorgeous black Calloway Couture dress, one of her prettier maternity designs, so she does appear regal.

  “I don’t keep tabs on Loren,” Rose says.

  “He’s in the bathroom,” Ryke tells me, his bare feet on a pillow. Rose looks like she wants to save the plush yellow pillow from his calloused soles.

  “And Daisy?” I frown, not seeing my little sister anywhere either.

  “Blow drying her hair,” he replies. My brows scrunch. When does Daisy ever blow dry her hair? She’s a let-it-air-dry kinda person.

  I’m about to ask, but the six plastic babies on the heavy cedar coffee table distract me. When Rose announced that we’d all have to take baby CPR class, I almost had a mini-panic attack. I could just see the headline: Lily Calloway fails baby CPR. Another reason she shouldn’t be a mom.