Triple Trouble

by Julia DeVillers

  “Looks like you’re sitting there,” I told Ox. I was about to slide into the middle seat when Jason yelled from the backseat, “No, Emma! You’re back here with me so we can do math equations! Pleeeease?”

  Well. It was hard to say no to math equations. Plus, sitting next to Ox for a whole hour in the car would be distracting. Today was going to be intense, helping my sister with the VOGS cast and being on sensory overload with multiples. Not to mention trying not to think about tonight’s dance.

  I got in on one side of Jason, and Nick got in on the other. Payton slid into the seat in front of me on one side of Mason, Ox into the other.

  “Everyone buckled?” Coach Babbitt started the car. Our car inched out and got into a line with the triplets’ car and Mrs. Burkle’s van. And we were off!

  Off to Multipalooza!

  “Let us know if you need anything,” Counselor Case said.

  “I have to go to the bathroom,” Jason said.

  “Don’t even start,” Coach Babbitt told him. “You just went.”

  He turned on the radio.

  “It’s Seventies Flashback Saturday here at WTLY,” the announcer said.

  “Oh man, not the old-people station,” Mason groaned.

  “Don’t defame my music,” Counselor Case said. “Oh, one of my childhood favorites!”

  She turned the radio up louder.

  “Agh! What is that horrible noise?” Jason yelped, holding his ears.

  “Noise?!” Counselor Case gasped. “It’s a song from one of my favorite movies, Grease.”

  “You don’t want to insult your mother’s favorite movie,” Coach Babbitt warned. “I learned that the hard way.”

  “I know all the words to this song,” Counselor Case said cheerfully. Then she started singing along.

  “Maaaa, stop. You’re so embarrassing,” Mason groaned.

  “I’m embarrassing you for a change?” Counselor Case said. “Finally! Hey, did you know there are hand motions to this song? It’s called the hand jive!”

  She started doing a clapping-and-waving-her-hands-in-the-air thing.

  “Payton and Nick, you may want to learn the hand jive,” Counselor said. “I wouldn’t be surprised if your drama club performs Grease someday. Bertha Burkle is a fan.”

  “MA! You’re torturing us.” Mason shrunk down in his seat.

  “Oh, you’ve never ‘tortured anyone,’ right, Mason?” I teased him. “It looks too complicated for you guys anyway.”

  “It’s not too complicated for us!” Jason protested. “Mom, show us.”

  “I’ll learn it, too. In case I ever audition for Grease,” Payton said, leaning forward.

  “I dare everyone in the car to try it,” Coach Babbitt said.

  “Oh, sure, that’s because you’re driving, so you can’t,” Ox pointed out.

  Counselor Case patted her hands on her lap twice, clapped twice, and did some more hand movements that ended in her doing thumbs-up over her shoulders. Then she repeated it faster.

  Everyone tried to follow, clapping and patting and thumbs-upping.

  “Wow, Emma, you’re good!” Counselor Case said.

  Me? Doing well at a form of dance?

  “It’s simply a matter of two moves to a four-four beat,” I said modestly. “Ox, you’re doing very well yourself.”

  “Thanks,” he said. “I try.”

  The song ended, and everyone laughed.

  “They did the hand jive at the school dance in Grease,” Counselor Case said. “It was so romantic with Danny and Sandy until someone came along and stole Danny from Sandy on the dance floor—”

  “Hey, Mom,” Jason interrupted. “Isn’t that another one of your favorite songs on?”

  “No, but it’s one of mine,” Coach said. “I’m cranking this up and can’t hear you back there. Kick my seat if someone bleeds.”

  “Good save, Jason,” Mason nodded. “Get the parents out of our business.”

  “Speaking of kicking,” Jason said. “Ox and Nick, I hope you guys don’t get kicked out today. You’re not even twins, and you’re trying to get into a twins festival.”

  “What do you mean?” Ox asked. “Nick and I are twins.”

  Ox turned around and gave me a quick wink.

  “You are?” Mason asked. “Who are your twins?”

  “Each other,” Ox said. “Fraternal, obviously.”

  “Yeah, I’m older,” Nick said, playing along. “Six minutes.”

  “No WAY!” Mason said. “I didn’t know that. You guys look so different.”

  “You think?” Ox asked. “Sometimes people get us mixed up. They think I’m Nick.”

  “They call me Ox,” Nick agreed. “Sometimes they just call us Oxnick, if they don’t know who is who.”

  Bzzzzrpt!

  I had a text from Payton.

  lol

  “Wait a minute, people can’t mix you guys up. You look different,” Jason said suspiciously. “Plus you have different last names and live in different houses.”

  Payton started to crack up first, then we all started laughing.

  “You aren’t twins,” Mason finally caught on. “You’re tricking us.”

  “Had you going,” Nick said. “But when I was a kid, I wished I was a twin.”

  “You did?” Payton asked him.

  “Yeah, I had an imaginary twin,” Nick said. “His name was Captain Hero.”

  Now all of us, especially the twins, laughed.

  “You really want to laugh at me? Or should I bring up your nicknames from that age, Emma and Payton?” Nick said.

  “I’m not laughing.” I put on a straight face, and Payton quickly did the same.

  “What were your nicknames? Tell us! Tell us!” Mason and Jason begged.

  “No way,” I said.

  “I’ll tell you Jason’s nickname,” Mason offered.

  “Hey!” Jason protested. “Then I’ll tell them about your imaginary friends. Mason made us into quadruplets. The other two were action figures.”

  “They were cool dudes,” Mason said, offended. “Grayson and Fason.”

  “Fason?” I tried not to laugh.

  “Fake Mason,” Mason said.

  “Or Fake Jason,” Jason said.

  “You were just making fun of him,” Mason said. “So he obviously was not Fake Jason. Actually, Fason didn’t like you.”

  “He didn’t? What did I do?” Jason said. He actually sounded upset.

  “Guys!” I said. “Guys! We’re not arguing about imaginary friends.”

  “I was never mean to Fason,” Jason continued. “But I’ll be mean to you.”

  “Then I’ll tell your nickname—” Mason threatened.

  I looked to see if their parents were noticing, but they were too busy singing along to the oldies.

  “Twin fight,” Payton said. We knew how those went.

  “Guys, enough,” I said. “Look, stop fighting and I’ll tell you Payton’s and my nicknames for each other when we were little.”

  Ox and Nick both grinned. They already knew them, unfortunately, from a time Payton and I overshared.

  I sighed and told them.

  “BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA” Mason and Jason immediately forgot about their fighting. “Who was who?”

  “I was MeeMa,” I said. “Payton was PeePa.”

  Mason and Jason were laughing so hard, we all started cracking up.

  Suddenly my phone made an alert noise.

  “Whose phone is that?” Jason asked. “Is it PeePee’s?”

  “PeePA.” Payton sighed. “Why, oh why, didn’t I give Emma a worse name?”

  “Poopy,” Mason said cracking himself up. “You could be PeePee and Poopy.”

  “We’ve heard that one before,” Payton grumbled.

  “Uh-oh,” I said, checking my texts. “My traffic app went off. Traffic is stopped here, you may want to take an alternate route off the next exit, exit fourteen, instead.”

  “Well, that’s certainly helpful,” Counselor
Case said. “We have to let the other cars know. Do you have their numbers?”

  “I have Sydney’s and—oh wait, I have one of the triplets’ numbers,” I said.

  “You do?” Payton asked.

  “Their mother had me give it to them at the Chinese restaurant when we met them,” I reminded her. “It’s under Triplet.”

  “Can I text them? Can I? Can I?” Mason asked. “I never get to text, and I’m really good at typing from all my hours on Club Walrus.”

  “Okay,” I handed Mason my cell. “Text them that we’re pulling over at the next rest area.”

  “Thank you, Emma,” Counselor Case said.

  “Hey, Ox! Emma! Press your noses up to the window,” Mason suddenly said. “I can’t reach!”

  “And we’re doing that because . . . ?” Nick asked.

  “Hurry!” Mason said. “I’ll explain in a minute. Trust me!”

  “Trust you?” Jason said.

  But Ox just grinned and squashed his face against the window.

  “Yeeesss!” Mason said. “C’mon, Emma!”

  I wasn’t sure I wanted to know why I had to do this. But I squashed my nose against the window too.

  Suddenly, the triplets’ SUV pulled alongside us again, and I could see the triplets’ faces. They were all laughing.

  “Mason! The triplets’ car is there, and they’re all laughing at us!” I said. Argh. Maybe they’d think I was Payton.

  “Oh, sorry,” Mason said, not sounding sorry at all. Hmmm.

  “Wait, what are they doing over there?” Payton asked. I looked and saw that the triplets’ faces were no longer laughing. Instead they were making some weird faces at us.

  “Monkey faces,” Mason said. “Chimpanzees, to be precise.”

  “Mason, what’s going on?” Payton asked.

  “Just a little friendly innocent wager,” Mason said innocently. “Okay, I dared the triplets to act like monkeys. They said they would if we would act like pigs. Oh wait a sec—”

  Bzzzzrpt!

  My cell phone went off. I had a text.

  “Mason? My cell phone?” I asked him, holding my hand over the seat.

  “Just a second,” he said. “Hey! They say their monkey faces beat our pig faces. You didn’t squish your noses up enough.”

  “Wait, who says what?” I asked him. “You were just supposed to be texting them about the gas station.”

  “Uh—” Mason said.

  “Payton, get that cell.”

  With a little help from Ox, Payton wrestled the cell phone away from Mason and handed it to me over the seat. I read out loud:

  “Emma: Take next exit: 14. we know what were doing.

  “Sydney Star: k.”

  I scrolled to the next one.

  “Emma: Take next exit: 14. we know what were doing.

  “Emma: Dare u to make munky faces at us!

  “Supertwin 1: only if u make pig faces first.

  “Emma: k.

  “SUPERTWIN 1: our monkey faces ruled. We win u LOSE.

  “They think I texted them that? You didn’t say it was you?” I sputtered. “They think I spelled ‘monkey’ wrong?”

  “Move on,” Mason said. “The real problem is they think they were better than us.”

  Bzzzzrpt!

  A picture text came up. It was the triplets, all holding up “L for Loser” fingers.

  I hadn’t known we were in competition. But now that I did, I texted something back.

  Emma: Double-dare?

  Supertwin 1: Bring it. Make ur ugliest faces.

  “We have been double-dared,” I announced. “Get ready! When their car pulls up again, make your ugliest faces.”

  “They’re pulling up,” Nick said. We all leaned toward the window. The SUV pulled alongside again.

  “One, two, three, go!” Ox called out.

  Everyone made their ugliest faces. We could see the triplets pointing and laughing.

  Bzzzzrpt!

  A picture text came up that was cc’d to Sydney too. I could see all of us making ugly faces through the window.

  Supertwin 1: caption: Twins try to beat Triplets? Fail!

  Sydney Star: Yearbook photo!!

  “Rude!” I said as I passed the phone around so everyone could see.

  “You and Payton are making the same exact face,” Nick pointed out. We had both pulled our mouths wide and crossed our eyes.

  “All right, we have to double-dare them back,” I said. “Ideas?”

  Mason had the best idea. I texted the other car what to do. We all watched out the side window as the triplets’ faces appeared in the window. But before they could do their challenge, the car lines merged. The triplets’ car had to pull in front of us.

  “Ha! They missed their chance,” I said. “We win.”

  I texted them: WE WIN.

  Supertwin 1: Not yet! Wait for it . . .

  We didn’t have to wait long.

  “What in heaven’s name are they doing?” Counselor Case said, and gasped.

  The triplets were looking out the back window. They made kissy faces. Then they blew kisses at us.

  “Are the new students sending us kisses?” Counselor Case asked, sounding confused.

  “It looks like they are,” Ox said with a straight face.

  “Do they know who they are sending kisses to?” Counselor Case asked.

  “Uh-oh,” Payton and I said at the same time.

  “So they don’t realize they’re blowing kisses at their guidance counselor and coach?” Coach Babbitt confirmed.

  We all burst out laughing and told them what was going on.

  “It was Mason’s idea but my fault,” I said. “I couldn’t resist. It was a competition. I thought they would look out the side window at us, not you.”

  “Perhaps you shouldn’t tell them,” Counselor Case. “We don’t want to embarrass them.”

  “Too late,” Mason said, holding up my phone. “I already texted them.”

  “Yes, I just realized that,” Counselor Case said.

  I peered out the front window and saw a look of horror pass over the triplets’ faces. Then they turned around, and their faces disappeared.

  “I think they’re hiding,” Ox said. “Wise move.”

  “Mason, give me back my phone,” I said. “You’ve already caused enough crazy.”

  I read what he texted.

  Emma: LOL U just blew kisses at guidance counselor and the coach.

  “Um, you didn’t make it clear he was the Mathletes coach?” I asked.

  “Mathletes coach, football coach.” Mason shrugged. “Practically the same thing. Right, Dad?”

  “Mathematics is nothing to be ashamed of,” Coach Babbitt said. “I hold my head high. Dignified. Leaderlike. AGH! What the heck was that?”

  “Oops,” Mason said. “Sorry! My bubble gum got away from me. I spit instead of blew.”

  Ew. Gross. I hoped we were almost there.

  “Okay, boys. Settle down,” Coach Babbitt said, wiping the back of his neck with a tissue.

  Then Counselor Case said, “Oh, look out your window!”

  I looked out the window and saw a huge sign:

  Multipalooza!

  1 mile ahead!

  We were almost there!

  Seventeen

  AT MULTIPALOOZA!

  Squee! Multiple squee! We were at Multipalooza!

  We followed Counselor Case into the fairgrounds.

  “So everyone who is a twin already has a ticket,” Coach Babbitt said, handing us our tickets. “Emma, Payton, can you take our boys to wait over by the entrance where we can see you while I bring the nontwins to the sign-in booth? We’ll pick up your tickets.”

  “Mason and Jason, I got you disposable cameras for the day,” Counselor Case said.

  “Cool!” Mason and Jason took them.

  The twins immediately started taking funny pictures of each other. And that gave me a minute to look into the festival.

  Wow.

&nbs
p; Everywhere I looked, there were identicals. Adults, teenagers, kids. Two, three, four, dressed like each other, looking like each other . . .

  Double wow.

  Of course, I was an identical twin. And I know we’re fun to notice. When Emma and I were little, people would say, “Oh! Identical twins!” And even now, people do double takes or ask us what it’s like.

  Being here, surrounded by identicals, I had a feeling of . . . camaraderie. These thousands of people walking around Multipalooza would understand the kinds of things Emma and I went through. The fun and the annoyance of people mixing us up, comparing us, commenting on us.

  These were our people! Emma walked up next to me and was looking out over the crowd. I bet she was thinking the exact same thing!

  “What are you thinking?” I asked her.

  “I’m thinking if the incidence of identical twins in this country is four per thousand, then the percentage of twins here is—”

  “Emma,” I said. “For one moment stop thinking about percentages. Just look at all of the identicals! Isn’t this amazing? It’s like we’re surrounded by people like us.”

  “You’re right,” Emma said.

  “It seems so special,” I said. “Not better than everyone else, but just special.”

  “Wrong! We are special and better than everyone else,” someone said. “We’re the . . . SuperTwins!”

  The triplets had arrived. And apparently had excellent hearing.

  “We’re here,” one posed. “Check out all of our future fans. Little do they know, they’re about to hear greatness today.”

  “You guys have triple-sized egos,” Emma said.

  “We’re stars,” a triplet said, and shrugged.

  “That’s why we’re going to star in your Frogscast,” a triplet added.

  “Who said you’re starring in the VOGS cast?” I said. “There’s plenty to film. Look around!”

  “Well, it’s a school show. We assume you’re going to focus on the biggest deal that has ever hit our middle school—the SuperTwins!”

  The triplets posed.

  Hmmm. They were kinda right. But I didn’t want to tell them that.

  Mason and Jason came over to us.

  “Ha-ha! You guys blew kisses at our parents!” Mason said. “That was hilarious!”

  “Yeah, well, we didn’t know who they were,” one triplet said. All three turned bright red.

  “That means we win the double-dare! You lose!” Jason said.