Costars (A Standalone Romance Novel) (New York City Bad Boy Romance)

by Adams, Claire

  John and I have always had friction.

  I graduated from high school early: three years early, to be exact. I was eighteen when I graduated college with honors and, rather than do what mommy and daddy told me to do and go for a higher degree in a more respectable field, I decided to use my Bachelor’s in Communications to get my foot in the door.

  I can always get a doctorate in something boring when I lose interest in media.

  Anyway, I’m not sure if our friction stems from the fact that I’m smarter than John and he knows it or that he was pressured into hiring me by Ainsley, a family friend and CEO of Memento Entertainment.

  It very well may be a combination of the two.

  “I’m just saying,” I start again, “if we purchase a few stations in markets where we don’t yet have a foothold, we can lay the groundwork for a lot more down the line. I’m not saying it’s going to happen overnight, but if it doesn’t happen sometime soon, we’re not going to be around long enough to-”

  “What?” he asks. “We’ve been around for nearly fifty years, Grace. If we were going to go under, it would have happened by now. You’ve got to realize that our business model works because we don’t take unjustifiable risks. That’s why we’re still here and why so many of our competitors have lost out to the bigger guys over the years.”

  “I get that we’ve got longevity,” I tell him. “What I’m saying is that we could have longevity and profitability.”

  “Oh, come on, Grace,” he says. “What kind of car do you drive?”

  “That’s not the point, John,” I start, but he picks up before I can continue.

  “The point is that you’re pushing for us to do something that we’ve never done and it’s going to kill the company if any single part of your plan doesn’t pan out.”

  “Oh, we’ve moved into new markets before,” I argue.

  “After a great deal of careful consideration and planning,” he says. “We never dove in somewhere without knowing just how warm the water was going to be.”

  It’s a stupid metaphor. He’s only trying to cover the fact that his work at the company has been marked by advising our CEO, Ainsley Winters, and the rest of the members on the board not to run before we can walk.

  We’ve been walking twice as long as I’ve been alive.

  Still, I’m not sure if it’s what he’s saying or the way he’s saying it, but my palms are sweaty and I’m struck by a sharp feeling of terror and panic.

  “Are you all right?” he asks.

  “I’m fine,” I breathe, but my throat has gone dry. “We need to do something, John. If we stick with the same old approach, we’re going to get the same old payoff right until the moment when one of those companies whose jingles people actually recognize swallows us up and you can say goodbye to Memento Entertainment.”

  I reach down and pick up my purse.

  “Where are you going?” he asks. “We’re not done here.”

  “I’m not leaving,” I tell him and grab a piece of gum. Out of nowhere, my mouth tastes like I just finished eating pennies and blueberry pie. It’s not a good mix.

  “Are you sure you’re all right?” he asks. “You don’t look so well.”

  We’ve done this before. We’ve had this exact conversation before, only I can’t actually place when it would have happened. The feeling, though, is overwhelming.

  My mind races as I think back, trying to pin it down, but I can’t think of anything that would fit.

  “What the hell was that?” I shout.

  John’s brow furrows. “What the hell was what?”

  “It sounded like someone was trying to break…the door…with a…”

  I’m dizzy and my head hurts, but my legs are numb and my vision’s gone double, so I don’t feel confident excusing myself.

  “Grace?”

  “I’m…fine…” I mutter and that’s the last thing I remember.

  After that, my consciousness is an infrequent series of pictures and words in a language that I’ve never heard.

  I’m not in the office anymore, and for a while, I don’t know where I am at all.

  There’s a man standing over me now, shining a light into my eyes, and I’m asking him, with great difficulty, what he’s done to me and why I can’t move.

  He answers me, saying, “You’re in a hospital. You had a seizure.”

  I try to respond, but it’s difficult for me to find my tongue to speak again.

  “How are you feeling?” he asks.

  I look up at him, the world slowly coming back into focus. “I don’t…” I start. “What’s happening to me?”

  “It takes a little time to regain yourself after a seizure,” he explains. “Do you remember anything?”

  It takes some time to get the words out, but I tell him about the pictures, the unrecognizable sounds.

  “Well,” he says, “my name is Dr. Jones. We’re going to get you in for some tests to see why this happened, but if you’re feeling up to it, I have some questions.”

  “Okay,” I agree, trying to keep my eyes open. I’ve never felt this exhausted in my life.

  “Do you have a history of seizures?”

  “No,” I answer.

  “Does anyone in your family have epilepsy?”

  “No.”

  “Do you have any numbness, tingling in your body right now?”

  “My left side,” I tell him, “and both my legs.”

  “All right,” he says. “I don’t think you had a stroke, your pupils are round and reactive, but we should know more once we’ve gotten you in for an MRI. For now, you should just get some rest, all right? The remote next to your bed has a red button on it; just press that if you need a nurse to come in and give you a hand with anything. Otherwise, just lie back and close your eyes. It looks like you’ve had a pretty rough day.”

  “John…” I start.

  “Your friend?” the doctor asks.

  I nod.

  “He had to go back to the office,” the doctor answers, “but he said he’d be back later to check on you. Why don’t you just get some rest?”

  I’m scared and embarrassed, but I’m also exhausted. Even the suggestion of getting rest is enough to convince me to close my eyes.

  When I wake up again, the doctor is standing next to the bed, saying they’re ready to get me in for an MRI.

  They do their tests and get me back to my room where John is waiting for me, hunched forward in his seat, his hands clasped supporting his chin.

  “Grace,” he says as I’m wheeled back into place, “are you all right?”

  “I have no idea,” I tell him. “What happened? I mean, I know I had a seizure, but…”

  “I don’t know,” he says. “One minute you were sitting there talking to me and the next, you were on the floor convulsing.”

  I’m not entirely sure why those words make me cry.

  “You’re going to be all right,” John soothes. “You can have as much time as you need. Just focus on getting better, all right?”

  I would argue with him, but I’m still too tired to make much of a showing.

  “If we don’t take risks,” I tell him, “we’re not going to survive.”

  He just smiles at me. “Why don’t you just get some rest? We’re not going to make a move on anything for a while anyway, so you just focus on getting better so you can be back in my office, monopolizing my lunch hour soon, okay?”

  My eyes start to close on their own, but I’m still muttering, “…got to get out there… people should know who we are…”

  The last sound I hear before falling asleep again is John’s laugh.

  * * *

  I don’t know what time it is, but it’s got to be the next morning when I wake up, again with Dr. Jones standing next to my bed. This time, though, he brought a colleague: a tall, tan, almost statuesque man with a lab coat, covering what I’m imagining to be a toned upper body.

  “Hey, I’m sorry to wake you,” Dr. Jones says. “Th
is is Dr. Churchill.”

  “No relation,” the other doctor says. I’m assuming it’s a reference to the British Prime Minister. “Grace, I’ve looked at your slides, and we’ve found an oligodendroglioma, stage two.”

  I’m expecting him to say more, but it looks like he’s waiting for my reaction.

  “You’re going to have to give me a little more than that, doc,” I answer, my throat sore. “I don’t think I can pronounce that, much less have any idea what that is.”

  The doctor smirks, his hazel eyes intent on mine. “I’m surprised that I could,” he says. “Basically, it’s a small tumor in your brain. You’ve probably had it for years, as oligodendrogliomas are particularly slow-growing.”

  “A brain tumor?” I ask. “You seem pretty calm about that. What’s the plan? Someone goes in and digs it out or what?”

  “Unfortunately, due to its location, surgery isn’t a viable option,” he says. “That said, I think we’ll be able to combat this with a mild course of oral chemotherapy.”

  I think about those words for a minute.

  “A mild course of chemotherapy?” I ask. “If I’m not mistaken, isn’t chemotherapy poison that’s just as likely to kill healthy cells as it is to kill cancer cells?”

  “Chemo is serious stuff,” he says. “There’s no way around that, but I think that we can approach this with a five-day regimen, once a month. Like I said, oligodendroglioma is particularly slow-growing.”

  “So the seizure shouldn’t worry me?” I ask. “That’s a relief. I was thinking that I had a major medical event because of something in my brain that shouldn’t be there.”

  Dr. Churchill sighs and runs his hand through his short, black hair. “I know this is a lot to take in,” he says.

  “How long do I have?” I ask. “I mean, assuming that the chemo doesn’t wipe it out entirely.”

  “We’ve found that patients in your stage of oligodendroglioma have a very good shot of making it past ten years,” he answers.

  “Oh, good. I was thinking this might significantly shorten my lifespan, but hey, I wasn’t planning on living past the next decade, anyway.”

  “It’s difficult to say precisely what’s going to happen in your specific case,” Dr. Churchill says. “Every case is different. I’ve seen people live out full lives with this diagnosis and I’ve seen people who have had their lives considerably shortened-”

  “So if you can’t tell me anything, why are you still talking?” I snap.

  Yeah, it was a little rude, but let’s be fair: this guy just told me that I might not be alive in ten years. I get that it’s not his fault, but that doesn’t make this any easier to swallow.

  “We’d like to go ahead and get you started on your first course of chemotherapy right away,” he says. “That way, we’re on top of it and it’ll be that much sooner before we can get a better idea which direction this is going to go.”

  “Five days?” I ask. “I have to get back to work. I can’t sit here for the next five days while you pump toxic shit into my veins. I have things to do.”

  “I really do think it’s best that we get on top of this as soon as we can,” he says. “That said, if you’d like to schedule a time in the coming days that would be better, like I said, this is a slow-growing tumor, so a few days shouldn’t make that great a difference.”

  “You’re really inspiring that confidence,” I tell him. “The problem is that I don’t really think a few days is going to be enough of a wait. Why don’t we just all go back to our lives, you can give me a prescription for something that’s going to prevent any more seizures, and we can call that good?”

  “I know you’re scared,” he says, “but the sooner we start your treatment, the sooner we’ll have some clearer answers. And I know that I’ve said a few times that this is a slow-growing tumor, but it’s already progressed far enough that you’re having seizures-”

  “Seizure,” I interrupt, “singular. What you’re telling me is that I have a brain tumor, that it’s in a place where you can’t just go and dig it out, and that even with chemotherapy, you’re not sure how much time I may or may not have left on this planet, so if it’s all the same to you, I think I’ll-”

  “It’s your choice whether or not you consent to treatment,” Dr. Churchill says. “This is the best course, in my medical opinion. If we sit back and do nothing, your oligodendroglioma is going to continue to grow unabated and yes, I’m going to prescribe you something to help prevent seizures, but that’s not going to treat the underlying cause. So, it’s up to you.”

  “You know, you’re kind of sexy when you’re frustrated,” I tell him.

  It’s a deflection, sure, but I don’t feel the slightest bit comfortable making this decision right now. I don’t know if I ever will be, but right now, I want to make him feel just as uncomfortable as I feel.

  The problem is, that’s not really possible given the current situation.

  “Thanks?” he says, looking to his colleague who, for some reason, hasn’t yet left the room. “But I think we should talk about your treatment.”

  “You said oral chemotherapy, right?” I ask.

  “That’s right,” he answers. “It comes in a capsule that you can take at home.”

  “So, it’s less effective than the needle-in-the-arm stuff?” I ask.

  “Not necessarily,” he answers.

  “I thought people came to the hospital when they were taking chemo,” I retort. “Tell me it’s not my particularly rosy demeanor that’s made you decide to send me home instead.”

  He smiles with a mouth full of straight, white teeth, saying, “That’s not it at all. I just think that this is the course that would be best in this situation.”

  “Then why do other people come in when they get chemo treatment?” I ask.

  “There are a few reasons,” he says. “First and foremost, when IVs are involved, it’s best to have as close to a sterile environment as possible. Outside of a sterile or mostly sterile environment, all kinds of nasty things can enter the system through the IV site and especially with something like chemo that has a profound impact on the white blood cell count, that’s not a risk that’s really worth taking.”

  “But oral chemotherapy doesn’t have that problem?” I ask. “I mean, I know there’d be no injection site or whatever, but the white blood cell count — that wouldn’t be knocked-”

  “You’ll still want to be careful,” he interrupts. “Stay away from people who are sick, have recently been sick, or are at risk of getting sick — you know, like parents with sick kids and that sort of thing. There are some other things that you’ll want to know before we send you home, but first, I’d like to answer any other questions you may have.”

  “Is the treatment any better than the disease?” I ask.

  “We’ve found that chemotherapy can be very effective for people with oligodendroglioma,” he answers.

  “You didn’t answer my question,” I tell him.

  “Chemo’s not without its risks,” he says. “There are side effects, and you’ll need to contact me when or if they happen to you. That said, I’m confident in this course of treatment.”

  “Is the treatment any better than the disease?” I ask again.

  “With any treatment, it’s important to weigh the risks and the benefits,” he says. “In your case, I feel confident in this course.”

  “Yeah, you’ve said that a few times,” I scoff. “You still haven’t answered my-”

  “It’s not going to feel better,” he says. “Most people on chemo, oral or intravenous, have serious side-effects, many of which are not very pleasant.”

  We go on like that for a while. He tries to convince me that chemo’s the way to go and I try to avoid the reality that I’ve got this thing growing in my brain that may or may not kill me before I have a chance to settle down and maybe squeeze out a kid or two.

  I’m only twenty-four years old.

  This can’t be happening.

 
; Chapter Two

  Being the Entertainment

  Jace

  I knew when I went into medicine that it wasn’t going to be an easy thing. That’s not why I did it. I’m not a doctor because I have some delusion of always being able to save the day, and I didn’t go into oncology because it’s an easy specialty to deal with.

  Still, it never gets easy telling someone they have cancer.

  “Hey,” I call to Melissa, my girlfriend, “I’m going to be out for a couple of hours.”

  “All right,” she calls back from the other room.

  Melissa: she’s been with me since before I graduated med school. We both knew that my life wouldn’t slow down after graduation, but we only knew that intellectually.

  The reality has been a bit harder on our relationship than either of us had expected.

  It was her idea for me to start telling her that I’m “going out,” rather than “I’m going to work.” In reality, I don’t know if it’s made things any better between us, or if it’s actually changed anything at all.

  I’m not headed to the hospital, though.

  I didn’t get a page or a phone call. I’m not scheduled to be in, and I’m not on call.

  Where I’m going, well, it’s just part of the reality of a recent med-school graduate in the second decade of the new millennium in America.

  “Recent med-school graduate” these days means anyone who’s still looking at six figures in student loan debt. At the rate I’m going, I’m going to be a recent grad for at least another decade.

  I’m wearing my finest set of clothes, and I’m just hoping that I don’t get recognized by anyone while I’m out on the town. What I’m doing is a risk in a number of ways, and I’d really rather avoid an awkward situation if at all possible.

  “When do you think you’re going to be home?” Melissa asks.

  “I don’t know,” I tell her. “I don’t think it’ll be any later than midnight, though.”

  “All right,” she says. “Just remember the rules.”