I'm Yours (Bold As Love)

by Lindsay Paige

  “You didn’t and it’s not your fault. Now, tell me whatever it is you came to tell me.” She removes her hand from mine and places both in her lap. I gulp and retreat my hand. With a deep breath, I recount my story.

  “First, I just want you to know that I loved you so much and it broke my heart to walk away from you, but I had to do it Emily. Do you remember my previous girlfriend, Melanie? And how soon after we broke up, she moved away?” She nods. “Well, that night after I dropped you off from our date, she showed up at my house…with a baby. She…she told me that the baby was mine.

  “Her parents took her away for the pregnancy and since they didn’t like me anyway, they didn’t want Mel to tell me about it. After the baby was born though, she realized she wanted me to be a part of the baby’s life and she knew I had a right to know.”

  Tears stream down Emily’s face as she listens to me.

  “I thought it would be best if I moved to where she and the baby was and go to the same college she did. I thought it would be best to try and work things out with her for the baby. For a while, it almost worked. But…” I stop, unsure if I should continue.

  “But what,” Emily whispers, here eyes never wavering from mine.

  “But I couldn’t get you out of my mind. I loved you, not Melanie. I love my baby boy, but things just weren’t the same with Mel. I didn’t think you would want to see me or talk to me, after I just left you and I didn’t think I should even try to find out. So I went to college and helped take care of my little boy.

  “Then, I see a girl who looked similar to you and I knew that I would never be completely happy unless I came to see you. I had to tell you why and to tell you that I still love you, even if that love is not returned anymore.”

  Emily closes her eyes and I want nothing more than to go and wipe away her tears. “I-I think I need to go home and think,” she finally says, opening her eyes. I nod and we head to the truck. When I pull up in her driveway, I stop her before she gets out. I find a piece of paper and pen and scribble my number on it. I hand it to her and say, “In case you want to get up with me.”

  She takes it with a nod and goes inside. With a heavy heart, I return to the hotel.

  Jake

  I answer my phone when I see Emily’s name and I hear the sadness as she speaks. “Can I come over? Or you come here? I-I just need you.” Anger sparks at the thought that Conrad caused this. I knew she shouldn’t have listened to whatever it was he had to tell her.

  “Of course, Sweetness. I’ll be right over.” I get off the phone and thank the heavens that Drake is still at his friends. I grab my keys and wallet off my nightstand and head over to Emily’s.

  Mike is sitting in the recliner when I come in. “She’s in her room,” he comments with a thumb pointing down the hallway. I go down the hallway and see her lying in bed. I go to Emily and lay beside her, taking her in my arms. She buries her face in my chest. As I run soothing motions down her back, I am again amazed at the difference in Emily’s room from the first time I saw it.

  Over Christmas break, we painted it a soft purple, added a TV, and Emily had dozens of pictures of us everywhere. “What happened,” I ask.

  She doesn’t even look up at me. She talks into my chest. “He wanted to tell me why he left. He found out he had a baby boy. He left to try and make up with the mother and to take care of him. He said that he still loves me.”

  My chest tightens at hearing how her once boyfriend, who she told me herself that she loved, has returned to reclaim his love for her. I pull her closer to me and kiss the top of her head. “He took me to the place where we would always go to hang out and told me. Can you believe his nerve? He just leaves out of the blue, shows up, and expects me to what? Take him back?”

  I leaned back just a little to hook my finger under her chin so she would look at me. She gave me a loving, tender kiss. “I’m sorry,” Emily says.

  “For what?”

  “For being upset over this. I just never expected to see him again, much less hear that he has a kid and that he still loves me.”

  I try to play the part of a loving boyfriend who is supportive, but will let her sort out her problems on her own. “What do you think about it?”

  She hesitates for a fracture of a second and then says, “I’m not sure. I mean, I’m glad he stepped up to be a father and I’m sure he’s a great one.” She bites her lip, something I’ve learned that she does when she’s nervous or thinking. “But I don’t know what to do about him. I mean…”

  She looks back at me and whispers, “There’s you.” A glimmer of hope flashes before me and I can’t help but grin a little. Emily playfully hits my arm and gives a small laugh before rolling away from me. “I should’ve known that’s what you would do. Give me that knowing grin that just screams that you are totally wonderful.”

  I pull her back to me and give her a quick kiss. “Your words not mine, remember that.”

  She wraps her arms around me and nuzzles into my neck. After a few minutes of silence, she finally speaks again. “There is you, Jake. I don’t know what to do about Conrad, because I’ve fallen in love with you. Only thing I know to do is tell him to go back home.” My heart swells and bursts at her comment. I pull her up to me and give her a hot kiss full of love and hope that she gets that message.

  After a few minutes of long kissing, I pull away from her. “I love you too Emily.” She smiles and cuddles up to me. There. Now, I don’t have to worry about Conrad, because she loves me and I had no intentions of letting her get away. I held her in my arms until it was time to pick up Drake. I gave her a long kiss before I left.

  Emily

  It was a clear night outside with the stars covering the sky in billions of different places, twinkling to get our attention. I’m in Conrad’s arms, lying on the picnic table with a pillow and comfy blanket beneath us. We sit there in content silence just staring up at all the stars.

  “Emily?”

  I look up at Conrad. “I just wanted to tell you that you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. There is nothing I rather do than have you in my arms and look at the night sky. I hope I never lose you, because I love you so much and my heart would blow up in billions of pieces if I lost you.”

  “I love you too Conrad.” I lean up and give him a kiss.

  That was the first time Conrad told me he loved me. I was so smitten with him and completely in love with him. I didn’t even hesitate as he moved the blanket and pillow onto the ground. I didn’t even stop him when he said he didn’t have a condom. I didn’t care. I loved him and I wanted him. It was me who mentioned it anyway.

  That night, Conrad confessed his love to me and I lost my virginity. The next day, it hit me what we did and I got on birth control the next week. We always used a condom after that too. As I lay, staring up at my ceiling I think about my and Conrad’s relationship.

  It was pure magical sometimes. I could get lost in his blue eyes, his touch, and his kisses. I think about all the times we had sex. After the first few times, there was a ton of pleasure and all I wanted to do was get him to his bed. It didn’t help that his parents weren’t home too much on the weekends, either. At first, I was horrified as I realized how much of a horny girl I was. Later, I reveled in it.

  I think about the hurt I felt when he left. I see the light that is Jake as he brings me back to life. I bite my lip and wonder why exactly I have been hesitant to make love with Jake. I’ve wanted to, plenty of times. I always stop myself before it goes too far.

  I’m still on birth control, so that’s not a concern. Did that have to do with Conrad? Or with my self-esteem from my mother? Was it because I love Jake with a greater love than Conrad so I was worried about losing him? These thoughts and questions keep me up half the night. I’m relieved to be able to sleep in since we don’t have school. I awake when I feel a soft kiss on my lips.

  I open my eyes to see Jake leaning over me. “Good morning, beautiful,” he says with a grin. I slide over and th
row the covers back, inviting him to climb in. Jake slips off his shoes and lays with me.

  “Good morning handsome,” I return giving him a peck on the lips.

  “How’d you sleep?”

  “Okay,” I say. “What about you?”

  “I had sweet dreams.” He grins wickedly.

  I giggle and wrap my arms around his neck. “You want to tell me about it?” I ask.

  “I rather show you,” he whispers as he kisses my neck. He lights a fire up to my jaw and finally he claims my lips.

  He tastes sweet and so…Jake. I pull away for air and grin at him. “We should probably join Drake,” Jake says.

  “Oh, alright!” I fake annoyance, making him chuckle. A memory pops in my head of a time when I did that with Conrad. I turned away from him and wouldn’t let him kiss me. That didn’t last long and we tumbled onto his bed.

  As the thought crosses my mind, a blush burns my face. Jake chuckles, possibly thinking it was because of him. Immediately, I feel guilty. “You go ahead; I’ll be right there.” He gives me a quick kiss and leaves my room. I lay in bed for a moment before getting up to run a brush through my hair and brush my teeth. Why did Conrad have to come back now?

  I pushed all thoughts of Conrad out of my mind and went to join Jake and Drake in the living room. I stopped by the kitchen to fix a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch first. I sit beside Jake on the couch and eat while we watch Phineas and Ferb. I after I finished, I set my bowl on the coffee table in front of us and was going to lay my head in Jake’s lap, but he stopped me. “Go get dressed, Sweetness.”

  “Why? Where are we going?”

  “Out,” he says with a smirk.

  “Ugh! You are just full of meanness today.” He makes the motion with his hand to shoo me out of the room. I roll my eyes and go to my room. I grab a pair of jeans, clean underwear, bra, and a baby blue short sleeve shirt. I went to my adjoining bathroom and started the hot shower.

  Thirty minutes later, I had dressed, dried my hair, brushed my teeth, and put on a little makeup and perfume. I slipped on my shoes before leaving my room. “Alrighty boys. Let’s go. I’m driving!” I declared. Jake turns the TV off and stands.

  “Why are you driving?” They follow me into the kitchen where I grabbed my keys off the counter by the garage door.

  “Because I want to. Plus, you almost always drive. It’s my turn.”

  “Where are you driving to,” Jake asks me once we are settled into the car. He and Drake laugh at his comment.

  “Nowhere if you don’t tell me.”

  He’s quiet for a moment and Drake seems to think that he wasn’t going to say anything because he says, “We’re going to Mayfaire to the movies.” Jake twists in his seat to look at Drake, causing him to shrug his shoulders.

  I press the button on the garage remote that is clipped to the visor and it begins to move. I turn on the car, back out, and press it again for it to close. Once on the road, we head to Wilmington. I’ve got one hand on the steering wheel and my other arm resting on the compartment between the seats. Jake reaches over and takes my hand in his giving it a kiss before he rests it in his lap.

  “How was your weekend at Tommy’s, Drake,” I ask referring to his friend. Drake jumps in to say that they went to the movies to watch some kid movie that just came out, played outside, played video games, and a few other things. “Sounds fun,” I say when he is finally finished. Jake finds a station on the radio and turns the music up some. He leans his head back on the headrest and closes his eyes.

  I bite my lip, wondering if everything is okay. I keep quiet until we reach Mayfaire and I park. We get out and make our way to the cinema. Jake holds one hand and Drake holds my other. “Everything okay,” I ask bumping shoulders with him once we are in line. He looks down at me and smiles, but it’s not a real smile. “Of course.” He leans down and gives me a quick kiss.

  “What are we watching,” I ask to keep conversation going.

  “Drake wants to see Rango.” We get closer in line and worry churns my stomach. Everything wasn’t okay; I could tell by the fake smile and how he was on the way here. Why would he lie? I try to shrug it off as he buys our tickets.

  We go inside and stop for popcorn and drinks. We head to the left down the wide hallway covered with drink machines and arcade games to theater three. We sit in the middle and wait for the previews to start. I’m sitting in the middle with a brother on each side. I look to my right to look at Jake. His jet black hair is a bit longer and the ends curl up just a bit.

  He catches me looking and leans over to give me a kiss. “What’s the matter,” he asks.

  “Nothing. Just appreciating your good looks,” I say with a smile.

  “Mmm. How about you show me your appreciation later?” he says with another kiss.

  “I’ll think about it,” I smirk. The previews come on and the lights dim. We eat all the popcorn and drink all of our sodas by the end of the movie. It was pretty funny and Drake enjoyed it. “Now what?” I ask when we are back outside.

  “We are going to spoil ourselves and eat ice cream as a late lunch,” Jake says checking at his watch.

  “There’s a Cold Stone by the road,” I tell him remembering the first time I took him there on our first date.

  “We have to go there,” Drake says with excitement.

  “Well, let’s go.” We walk across one of the roads and down the strip to the end where Cold Stone’s was waiting for us. I never eat a full ice cream from this place so me and Jake shared the birthday mix ice cream and Drake ordered a chocolate ice cream with sprinkles in a small waffle bowl. All the tables with three seats where taken. There were just tables with two seats left. Jake leads us to one.

  He sits down, sets our ice cream on the table, and pulls me into his lap while Drake takes the other seat. We leisurely eat our ice cream with Jake kissing all over my face claiming I was a sloppy eater. I couldn’t help but laugh each time. I go to take a bite of the waffle bowl when I feel Jake tense beneath me.

  I look at him and then follow his gaze to the person who just walked in the creamery. Conrad. With the sun shining in the windows behind him, he locks eyes with me giving a small smile, and it was if everything slipped away. A memory of a day we spent at the beach blasted forward. I was laying out and Conrad was towering over me with the sun shining down behind him.

  He was dripping wet and gleamed a smile at me. “Are you going to get in the water or not,” he asked me.

  “I will…eventually.”

  “How about now,” he asked, leaning down to pick me up by the waist and carry me over his shoulder to the water. I laughed the whole way there and tried to get him to set me down. He wouldn’t, of course.

  When he was about waist deep, he threw us both down into the water. Coming up, I playfully splashed him starting a war. In the end, he won like he always did, and claimed my lips as his prize.

  The memory was torn from me when Jake spoke. I tore my gaze from Conrad and looked at Jake. “What did you say,” I ask.

  Agitation flees across his eyes and he says, “If we are done, we should leave.” He grabs hold of my waist and pushes me to stand. Jake grabs our trash and walks towards the can by the door, leaving me and Drake behind.

  “C’mon Drake,” I say holding out my hand.

  He takes it and we follow Jake outside. I glance back at Conrad who is waiting for his ice cream and thankfully wasn’t looking. This wasn’t going to be easy.

  Jake

  We arrived back at Emily’s around four. I quietly steamed the whole way there. I saw the way Emily looked at him when he walked in. She didn’t look at me like that. Was he just going to show up everywhere now? Last night, I felt relief and pure happiness when Emily told me she loved me.

  Today, all that evaporated when Conrad walked in the creamery. She still loved him because he was her first love. But was it stronger than our love? I was mad as hell about this. Why did he have to come back and stir up those feelings inside Emily?
>
  He wanted her back. She wouldn’t go, would she? Frustration built within me as worry over losing Emily climbed. Emily and I were cuddled together on the couch. “Jake? What’s up with you today,” she asks tilting her head to look at me.

  I sigh. “Nothing.”

  She leans away from me and crosses her arms over her chest, pushing up her breasts. “Don’t lie to me Jake. You’ve been quiet and grumpy all the day.”

  I decide to ask the question that has been bothering me. “What are you going to do about Conrad?”

  Her face falls and she looses her defensive stance. She leans back on the couch and tilts her head back to stare at the ceiling. “I don‘t know. I guess I will tell him that I‘m with you now,” she says softly. “Seeing him and talking to him just brought all these memories back. I should talk to him so he doesn’t waste his time.”

  “Do you want me to be there with you,” I say.

  “No. That would just make it awkward. What are you going to do without me tomorrow,” she asks with a smile.

  “I’ll go hang out with the guys.”

  “Have fun,” she says trailing a finger over my chest.

  “Let me know how it goes.”

  Conrad

  Around ten o’clock, a number I don’t recognize appears on my phone. I answer it with a, “Hello?”

  A voice that I have missed for so long greets me. “Conrad? It’s Emily.” She asks where I’m staying and if she can come over. I tell her my hotel and room number. I honestly didn’t expect to hear from her, especially after I walked into Cold Stone and saw Jake showering her with kisses.

  She looked so happy. For the thousandth time, I wonder if I should have came back at all. She’s happy and has moved on. The thought that I made a mistake and left her came back to me. I could have stayed and still be a father to Logan. So I was back to get the love of my life.

  All these thoughts ran through my mind as I showered. I stepped out and dried off. There was a knock on the door. I wrapped the towel around my waist and looked through the peephole. Emily was standing on the other side looking anxious. I open the door and once again drank in the sight of her. Her soft brown hair was flying around from the wind. She had gotten an inch or two taller since I last seen her and she was more…filled out too.