Kept from You (Tear Asunder, Book 4)

by Nashoda Rose

  Did I put those there last night knowing I’d feel like a truck had run me over then backed up and did it again? I must have.

  I grabbed the two pills, put them in my mouth, then cracked the seal on the bottle. Tossing the lid on the nightstand, I then swallowed the pills while chugging the water.

  I put the half-empty bottle back on my nightstand and lay back again. “God, never again.”

  That was when I heard voices in the kitchen. What the hell?

  I darted upright, which was a bad idea because the shards turned to a sledgehammer.

  Oh, my God, tell me I didn’t bring a guy home with me last night. I’d never done that in my life, but there were a lot of things I’d been doing lately that I’d never done in my life.

  I threw back the covers and realized I was in my panties and bra. Did I undress last night? I looked on the floor for my clothes, but they weren’t there. No chance was I in good enough shape to put them away. Then I noticed them folded neatly on the bench at the foot of my bed.

  I never put my clothes there.

  My heart pounded as my mind spun with possibilities. There was a flicker of a memory of Killian, but then I’d been thinking of him a lot, so that wasn’t unusual.

  Jesus, what did I do last night?

  I got up and went to my dresser, pulled out black yoga pants and a white V-neck T-shirt. After putting them on, I crept to my bedroom door.

  “I have someone looking into it.” Holy shit, that was Killian. What the hell was he doing in my apartment at eight in the morning?

  I opened the door, and both heads turned to me.

  My mouth dropped open at the sight. Trevor stood at the stove cooking what smelled like bacon, and Killian leaned against the counter, a steaming mug in his hand.

  “What are you guys doing here?” I held the doorframe to keep myself steady because my balance was a little off.

  Killian set his coffee down and strode toward me. Even with a head that felt as if it had a ticking time bomb inside ready to explode at any moment, Killian had my girly parts tingling.

  “Umm, what are you doing here?” I asked, softer this time because he was closer.

  His brows lifted with that sexy piercing. “You don’t remember?”

  “Remember?” My heart thumped faster. Ah, shit. I’d slept with him. Mars and I had been talking about me sleeping with him and… oh, my God. Did I call him last night?

  I may have woken in my bra and panties, but I didn’t feel like I’d had sex. I mean, I’d feel it even if I didn’t remember. Right? My cheeks felt on fire, and I wanted to dive back into my room and under the covers and do my wake up all over again.

  “Nothing happened,” Killian said.

  “But you were here last night?”

  “Mmm.”

  “How did you get in?”

  “That would be me,” Trevor called.

  I frowned. He winked then turned back to the sizzling bacon.

  I peered at Killian. “Why are you here now?”

  “I haven’t left.”

  My eyes widened and I quickly took in his rumpled T-shirt and hair. “Oh.”

  With his hand on the small of my back, he guided me to the table and urged me to sit. I didn’t need much urging because my legs were quivering. Whether it was hangover quivers or quivers from Killian, I wasn’t sure yet.

  “You didn’t answer your cell last night.” Killian had it in his hand and slid it toward me.

  I glanced at the screen. Five text messages. Twelve missed calls. All Killian. “Why would you call me that many times? I was out with Mars.”

  Killian didn’t sit; instead, he leaned against the table, brows low and the amusing grin gone.

  Trevor took the pan off the burner. “I forgot the eggs. Be back.”

  I glared at him as he passed, but he kept his head low as he brushed past me. Traitor. I was so letting any girls who knocked on his door into his apartment.

  The door opened and shut.

  I started to stand. “I need—”

  “Sit.”

  Not a good tone. I sat.

  This was his play. Silence. He was annoyingly patient and of course it made me uneasy, on edge, and probably exactly what he wanted.

  “I texted and called you, Savvy.”

  My head swam in sludge, and I was slow on the uptake this morning, so I remained quiet.

  I heard a clank and Killian set a coffee in front of me. He nodded to my cell phone on the table. “You need to answer that.”

  “I didn’t answer because I turned it off.”

  He gave me a “no shit” look, which meant brows raised.

  “I didn’t feel like talking to you.”

  “Why?”

  Why? Hmm, because every time I hear your voice, I get all weak and pathetic and think about you kissing me again. “I was out with Mars.”

  “And you couldn’t pick up your phone or check your messages. Send me a text?”

  Of course I could’ve, but I was trying to numb Killian out, and hearing his sexy voice on the phone when drunk wouldn’t have been a good idea. “Where did Trevor go? I’m starving.”

  “He won’t be back.”

  Double traitor.

  He stepped closer to me, so his thighs were an inch away from mine. Then he reached forward and with the tip of his finger, he slid it ever so slowly across my collarbone. My heart shot off as goose bumps rose and my sluggish aching head was having a hard time keeping up with my body’s reaction.

  “Why did you shut off your phone?” His tone softened and sounded sexy as hell.

  His hand moved up to cup my chin and tilt my head so I was forced to meet his eyes.

  Shit. I really loved his eyes.

  “Why did you shut off your phone, Savvy?”

  “Because I didn’t want to talk to you.”

  “Why?”

  “Because of this.”

  “What is this?”

  “I don’t like it. What you do to me. I feel… helpless.”

  He sighed. “You’ll never be helpless, Savvy. You’re the least helpless woman I know.”

  I shoved back my chair and stood, which thankfully dislodged his hand. “Thank you for last night, but you better go. I volunteer at the hospital on Wednesdays and need to get ready.”

  I took a wide berth around him, went behind the counter, feeling a little more secure having something between us and grabbed a piece of overcooked bacon. Trevor always made it so crunchy it broke apart in your mouth.

  But my security didn’t last long because he came around the counter and trapped me, arms locking me in so my abdomen pressed into the lip of the counter, his hands resting on either side of me with his chest to my back.

  “Orchid.” His whispered word wafted across the back of my neck, and I shivered. “I need you to answer your phone when I call or text, please. I was worried. You live in a shit neighborhood and an unsafe building.” Okay, that was kind of nice that he was worried, but he wasn’t my boyfriend or anything.

  He moved in closer, so his hard body was pressed into mine. My pulse spiked. “Looks like the same pot I gave you.”

  I stiffened, eyes darting to the orchid in the cracked pink pot sitting on the windowsill. Of course he’d notice.

  “That my pot, Savvy?” he asked.

  There was no denying it. “Yes.”

  “My orchid?”

  “Yes.”

  His warm breath was against my ear as he whispered, “Exotic. Graceful. Beautiful and strong. And one of the most coveted plants.” He lowered his voice even further, so his words were barely audible. “That’s why I nicknamed you orchid. You are all those things.”

  My body sank into a pool of heated bliss. “We’re fake dating.” I said it to remind myself that Killian and I weren’t real.

  “You can call it whatever you want. But you know exactly what this is.”

  The second the warmth of his body left mine, I wanted it back again. God, I wanted Killian back. Not that I’d
ever had him, but a taste of him.

  “What do you mean?”

  He strode to the front door. “I’ll see you at Compass.”

  “What? You’re going?”

  “Savvy. You’re dancing at my club. Do you really think the guy you’re dating wouldn’t be there? Answer your phone when I call. Unless of course you enjoy me showing up and undressing you.” He offered a crooked grin. “Nice panties by the way. I love black lace.”

  I gaped. He opened the door and was gone.

  I hated the club.

  I wanted to be punching my bag in my warehouse rather than sitting here with a drink while Savvy danced in a fuckin’ cage with guys looking at her.

  Watching her lasted a total of five seconds before I had to walk away; otherwise, I’d have dragged her out of the cage and the club.

  How the hell did this happen?

  Fuck. The instinct to protect her was so strong it ate at my control. A control I’d built up since I’d stopped fighting.

  The need to protect those I cared about was embedded in me. I lived with losing Emmitt every fuckin’ day. I relived the image of him cold and lifeless in the stream. Cradling him to my chest while the rain pounded down on us and the river soaked me as I sat in the water with him on my lap. It was hours before someone found us. I didn’t even know who it was. I just remember fighting them when they tried to take Emmitt away from me.

  Emmitt lay dead in a cold stream, and I’d been kissing Keeva Campbell.

  I’d done everything I could to change who I’d become after his death. The fighting. The anger. The volatile emotions like lightning strikes going off at any given moment.

  But Savvy… Savvy had always had something in her that tamed the lightning ever since the first time I saw her. She believed in people. She was stubborn and determined to get what she wanted, yet giving and accepting of others at the same time.

  Fuck, she still volunteered at the hospital. But that shouldn’t surprise me. That was who she was. She obviously had no money from the state of her car and her apartment. That fuckin’ ex-boyfriend screwed her over and instead of being bitter, angry and complaining about it, she was trying to get her life back together while still taking the time to help others.

  Emmitt would’ve gotten along with her. They were similar in that they both had kindness running through their veins. Forgiveness.

  I didn’t forgive so easily.

  I knew Savvy’s attraction to me was just as strong as mine. She tried to hide it. Fight it. But you couldn’t hide goose bumps. Shivers. The way her breath hitched and her heart pounded.

  One month. I had one month to convince her to be with me for real.

  A shadow hovered over me, and I glanced up to see Luke. His gaze shifted to my untouched scotch.

  I couldn’t drink. Not tonight. Not when I was feeling volatile. “Did you find him?”

  “Yeah.” He paused, then, “He’s a scumbag.”

  I snorted. “Yeah.” I’d asked Luke to locate David so I could have a chat with him. I’d already known he was scum since he’d cheated on Savvy. Not only did he cheat, but he cheated on someone as fuckin’ rare as Savvy which made him a scumbag and a bastard.

  Luke frowned. “Jolie won’t like it if you confront this guy.”

  Jolie was the band’s publicist and she most definitely wouldn’t be happy about me going to my “girlfriend’s” ex-boyfriend’s place to beat the shit out of him. But I didn’t do that anymore. I was going to have a conversation.

  “The faster I deal with this, the faster I can get her out of here,” I said. Because I wasn’t sure how long I’d be able to handle her dancing at the club.

  “I’m not letting you go without me,” Luke said.

  I grinned. “I know.”

  Luke nodded to the dance floor. “She’s on break.” Then he walked away.

  Savvy. I wanted to see her. I always wanted to see her. Be near her. Fuck, what the hell was I going to do if at the end of the month she wouldn’t be with me?

  That couldn’t happen. Keeping away from her was impossible now.

  I pulled out my phone and texted. She’d have her phone as all the girls did when they were on the floor in case they needed security. No drugs and every precaution for safety were nonnegotiable when Brett and I discussed opening Compass.

  I want to see you.

  With Savvy, it was better to be direct. As direct as I could be without scaring her off.

  I’m going to refresh in the change room for ten minutes.

  You can refresh with me. I’m upstairs.

  There was no response and my hand tightened on my phone, but it was the movement by the stairs that caught my attention and had my heart slamming into my chest like some fuckin’ teenager seeing the hot girl walking down the school hallway.

  Fuck.

  I’d always thought I never dated because of what happened when I’d kissed Keeva Campbell. I’d let Emmitt walk home by himself when I knew the kids teased him. But at the time, kissing a girl became more important.

  As Savvy walked toward me, I realized it wasn’t that. It was because I never wanted to date anyone else.

  Just her.

  But I kept myself from her. The one girl who made it okay to forgive myself for what happened to my brother.

  Her skin was flushed, the blue lights in the club bouncing off the glistening of sweat on her bare neck. A neck I couldn’t wait to taste and nip and run my tongue across.

  I tossed my phone on the glass table in front of me and sat back on the leather couch, the material scrunching.

  Then I watched as she walked toward me. Seductive. Slow and sexy as hell, yet completely unaware of it. Her hair was loose, just the way I liked it. It hung over her right shoulder and breast.

  She approached me and her chest rose and fell with quickened breath.

  My cock was rock-hard, and it took a fuck of a lot to stay where I was and not grab her and take her into the office so I could tear off her clothes and fuck her on the desk.

  She frowned as she stopped in front of me. “Are you okay?”

  Fuck no. I was sitting in a club I’d bought in order to hurt my father’s business with a girl I wanted, but couldn’t have. At least not yet.

  “Come here, orchid.” I held out my hand.

  She hesitated, before placing her warm hand in mine. I tugged her forward until she stood between my legs. “I don’t have long.”

  “Then we better make the best of it. Would you like some water?”

  “No. Thanks.”

  I took another second to admire her standing between my legs before I urged her down to straddle me.

  “What are you doing?” she asked, stiff and uncertain as I positioned her, so her thighs were on either side of me.

  “Being with my girl on her break,” I replied.

  Her chest rose and fell erratically. “Here? Now?”

  I smirked. “Where else? Would you prefer somewhere more public than this?” I sure as hell didn’t. I wanted her in my bed without anyone knowing my fuckin’ business.

  “No, it’s just….”

  It was cute she didn’t know where to put her hands, so I took them and placed them on my chest. Maybe not the smartest idea considering my cock hurt like hell, and all I could think about was kissing her slightly parted lips.

  I raised my brows. “Just?”

  “Unprofessional.”

  I chuckled. “This is a club. It’s midnight and you’re dating me.”

  “I already have a bad rep, Killian.”

  And I was going to do something about that. “No one will talk bad about you dating me, Savvy. Fuck, I’d never allow it.” And the media treated me with respect because I did them. And if anyone treated Savvy with anything but respect, they wouldn’t like what happened.

  “Relax, baby,” I whispered as she sat tensely on top of me. I released her wrists and settled my hands on her thighs that were covered in tight black pants. Her top was white, beaded with spaghetti stra
ps and a snug bodice. Classy and sexy as hell.

  I slowly slid my hands down her thighs to her knees and back again. Her fingers curled into my dress shirt, and I inwardly smiled.

  “How do you expect me to relax when you touch me like that?” she whispered.

  At least she was admitting my touch did something to her. I just needed her to admit she wanted me.

  “You piece of shit!”

  My hands stilled on Savvy’s thighs, and I stiffened at the familiar voice behind me. Savvy looked over her shoulder, and her hands released my shirt as she scrambled off my lap.

  “Seamus. Now, this is a surprise,” I managed to ground out.

  “Kite,” Luke said, coming up behind my father. He was letting me know, he’d escort him out with one word from me.

  But this conversation was bound to happen. I just didn’t like it being done in front of Savvy. I didn’t want her tainted by his cruelty.

  He glanced at Savvy, his eyes trailing down the front of her. I clenched my jaw, standing to block his view of her. “Fucking the lowlife dancers, Kill?”

  I heard Savvy’s sharp inhale and Luke’s grunt as he stepped toward my father. I shook my head at him.

  I had the urge to smash my fist into his arrogant face, but I refused to give him the satisfaction. “Club business not doing well, Seamus?” I asked politely.

  His eyes narrowed, and I remembered that look. The hatred blazing as he towered over me while calling me a bastard and a useless piece of shit. The sound of the door slamming shut as he locked me in my empty bedroom. “You can’t get away with this. I have friends, powerful friends, and the second this club fails one inspection or has one incident, it’s over.”

  He did have powerful friends, but then, I did too.

  I glanced over at Luke. “Take Savvy out of here.”

  He nodded and Savvy moved from the couch as Luke stepped forward to use his body to protect her from my father’s view, but it wasn’t enough. The bastard had to open his fuckin’ mouth.

  “I’ll double your pay if you come dance at my club,” he offered Savvy.

  My temple throbbed, but I refused to say anything. Not yet. No matter how hard it was, Savvy was more than capable of answering him herself.