Kept from You (Tear Asunder, Book 4)

by Nashoda Rose

  Lowering, I kissed the corner of her mouth on each side then lifted and rolled off her. Getting out of bed, I then dealt with the condom.

  When I came out of the bathroom, she was naked on her side, perched up on her elbow watching me as I approached the bed. And I fuckin’ loved it. I loved how her gaze trailed over me and there was a tiny smile on her lips.

  “You have a lot of tattoos,” she said, her voice a little scratchy and husky as if she’d just woken.

  “Mmm.” I slid onto the bed beside her, not ready to leave yet even though my phone was probably going crazy with texts and calls from the guys because we were late for brunch.

  I bent one knee and put my arm above her head so I could play with her hair. She ran her fingertips over the tattoo on my neck. “Is this a hawk?”

  “No. It’s a black kite.”

  “That’s a bird?”

  She continued to trace the spread wings that curved up my neck. “It’s a bird of prey. You see the tail?”

  She nodded. “It’s forked.”

  “Yes. What makes them distinct from others.”

  “It’s beautiful,” she whispered.

  “My first tattoo. It was done in a guy’s basement when I was seventeen. Ream knew him and he had done a few of his. The guy has his own shop now and is so busy you can’t get in to see him for months. He did most of mine, but a few I had done while on tour.”

  “Why do you like them so much?” She traced one after the other over my shoulder to my pec then farther to my abdomen.

  “They are pieces of me. Stories.”

  “This is my favorite.” She dragged her finger down my arm over the stormy waters and thick dense clouds overhead. The sun’s rays peaked through them, and specks of light hit the water. And below the water in the depths bloomed a flower, its petals closed, the stem broken.

  An orchid.

  Her fingers stopped on the flower and her eyes lifted to mine. She didn’t have to say anything. Neither did I. The flower represented her.

  The orchid lost in the depths of the river.

  Like I’d been lost.

  The stormy river where my brother died. Where my anger flourished and pieces of me drowned with him. And her… Savvy was the light struggling to reach me beneath the surface.

  But the anger was controlled now. At least most of the time. And the orchid, she blossomed and came back to me.

  She rested her cheek on my chest, her palm flat on my abdomen. “You scare me, Killian.”

  “I know.” She feared who I’d been, the overprotectiveness, what was happening with my father. She’d been hurt and feared that happening again. “Will you come to brunch with me, not because you have to, but because you want to.”

  She looked up at me. “Yes.”

  I tilted to kiss her. My body sagged. I hadn’t realized I was tense asking her, but I was.

  “Is it at Logan and Emily’s?” she asked.

  “No. We get together at Crisis and Ream’s adoptive parents on the last Sunday of every month. We used to go to Georgie and Deck’s, but he’s been busy with work.”

  “Georgie and Deck?”

  I absently stroked up and down on her arm. “Mmm. We met Georgie and Deck when we were first starting out. She worked at a coffee shop Logan, Ream, Crisis and me used to hang out at. Now she owns two coffee shops.” Her palm slid over my abdomen then lower, and my cock swelled.

  “And Deck?” she asked.

  I clenched my jaw as the tips of her fingers drifted lower still. “Ex-special forces. He has a company that deals with the scum of the Earth. Not so legal, but he’s a good guy and would do anything for his friends. Fuck, he has. And his men.”

  “So, who will be there?”

  “The guys in the band with their women.”

  She touched the ridge of my cock, and I sucked in air. “Fuck, baby.”

  She wrapped one finger at a time around the base of it. “Savvy, I’d like nothing more than to fuck you again, but we should go.” I was never late and recently I’d been off schedule and doing things I never did, like right now, lying in bed after sex.

  She trailed kisses down my chest, her grip tightening on my cock and I groaned, hardening.

  She reached my abdomen, and her tongue swirled, wetting the surface of my skin while her hand slid up my cock and back down again. My hand went to the top of her head as she shifted over my thigh and lay between my legs.

  Her thumb grazed the piercing, and I hissed, bunching her hair in my fist. “Jesus.”

  Her head lifted, mouth a breath away from the tip of my cock. “Killian?”

  “Yeah,” I managed to grind out, my body tense and on edge waiting for her lips to wrap around me.

  “I never forgot you either.”

  Fuck.

  My breath locked in my chest as her mouth enclosed around my cock.

  “Oh, my God, sweetness, you must be Kite’s girl, Savvy. I’m Sophia Wesson.”

  A well-put together woman rushed toward me wearing white pants and a light pink blouse with a brilliant smile and warm, welcoming eyes.

  She put her hands on my shoulders then kissed both cheeks before pulling me in for a hug. She ran her hand over my hair. “Look at this gorgeous hair and face. So beautiful. And you’re a dancer.”

  “Yes,” I replied.

  “Well, it’s so lovely to meet you. I’m glad you could join us. Kite has never brought anyone over before.” She turned to Kite and kissed both his cheeks. “You’re late. I didn’t think that was possible, but now I see why.”

  My cheeks heated, and Killian squeezed my hand reassuringly.

  “Vincent told me you knew Logan and Kite in high school. That’s wonderful.”

  I wasn’t sure who Vincent was until Kite squeezed my hand and said, “Crisis. Vincent is his real name, and his mom refuses to call him by anything else.”

  “I don’t know why he doesn’t use his real name.” She ushered us through the house. “Everyone is already here and breakfast is nearly ready. Have you met the crew?”

  “I haven’t met Kat.”

  “Kite, the others are out back, I’ll show Savvy around first.”

  God, Crisis and Ream’s mother was so nice and funny. It kind of clashed with how she looked, very classy and straight laced.

  “You good?” Killian asked.

  I nodded.

  He released my hand, and I watched him as he strolled away. God, it was hard to believe an hour ago I had him between my legs.

  Killian Kane had fucked me. It had been… life changing. Just like his kiss eleven years ago.

  I didn’t know what to do with that yet. There was so much I didn’t know about him and what worried me was if he’d ever share more than what was on the surface. I couldn’t be with someone again who kept things from me. David had kept lots—women.

  Killian did say he’d take me to his place, and I was also here, with his friends. And it wasn’t because he paid me to be.

  “Kat painted this,” Sophia said as she showed me a painting above the mantel in the living room. It was a white horse galloping through the waves on a beach.

  “It’s beautiful.”

  “She has a rare talent and—”

  “Mom, stop bragging about me,” a young woman said as she sauntered into the living room with Haven. They each carried trays with glasses and a jug of orange juice and another with water and cucumber slices. “Hi. I’m Kat. Ream’s other half.”

  “Savvy.”

  Haven smiled warmly, and we all walked through the house to the patio. The women set the trays down on a large iron table while Sophia talked about the guys practicing in the garage when they started out and how bad Crisis was singing.

  “Do you know Vincent insisted on Easter egg hunts up until he was seventeen?” Sophia said as Emily came out of the house with a bowl of scrambled eggs. “Savvy, he was incorrigible. Ream wasn’t into an Easter egg hunt around the backyard at seventeen, so Vincent told him we gave a hundred dollars to whoev
er collected the most eggs. A lie, of course. They raced around the backyard like bulls ramming one another in order to get to the eggs.” She shook her head smiling as she looped her arm around Haven’s waist and squeezed. “Then Killian and Logan showed up, and the four of them wrestled one another for the chocolate eggs.”

  I smiled. Killian racing around the backyard for eggs was hard to imagine. I’d never seen him laugh at school let alone race around looking for hidden chocolates.

  My chest swelled because it was a part of him I’d missed.

  “When Ream found out there was no money, he went at Vincent. What made it worse was my Vincent laughed the entire time. It took both Killian and Logan to break it up.”

  Kat turned to me. “Ream was a little volatile back then.”

  “A little?” Crisis strolled outside with a plate of what smelled like bacon. “Hell, the guy was a grenade.”

  “Vincent Wesson. Language,” Sophia abolished.

  “What?” he asked innocently. “It’s hell. Not even a swear word, Mom.”

  Emily, Haven, and Kat laughed. I smiled.

  I was introduced to Mr. Wesson, who manned the barbecue flipping sausages. Then my eyes hit Killian out in the backyard with Ream and Logan and a little boy who looked about eleven or twelve.

  They were kicking the soccer ball around. Well, Killian was kicking it around, and Ream and Logan were attempting to get it from him.

  He easily maneuvered the ball between his feet. It was hypnotic.

  I was mesmerized by his agile, lean legs and tousled hair with strands hanging in front of his eyes as his head bent while he effortlessly kept Ream from getting the ball. He glanced up at the kid, who looked to be his partner, and kicked it gently to him near the makeshift goal. Then he bodychecked Ream.

  The boy kicked it so hard, he fell backward onto his butt, but it shot right between the chalk markers on the wood fence.

  “Score,” the kid yelled, jumping to his feet and throwing his arms in the air.

  Killian immediately jogged over and high-fived him then bent and said something to him. The kid smiled from ear to ear, obviously pleased with himself while Killian ruffled his hair.

  “We’re fostering him,” Sophia said. “His name is Hendricks, and he’s been bounced around homes since he was five.” God, the poor kid. I knew the feeling, but luckily, it had only been a couple years and not until I was fifteen. I couldn’t imagine being in the system from the age of five. “He loves soccer and the guys. He talks about Kite all the time, and he plays soccer with him every time he comes over. Even in the snow.”

  I rested my hands on the railing as I watched Killian, and my heart swelled. I never imagined him being like this with a kid. Or playing soccer. But there was something different in him when he was with Hendricks. Something in his eyes, it was almost… painful. Like it hurt.

  He must have sensed me watching him because he raised his head and looked over.

  His eyes locked on me, and my heart shot off. Saying something to the guys, he strode across the mowed grass toward me.

  It didn’t take long before he stood in front of me. Heated skin from the sun and running around, his hair in disarray… and he never looked sexier.

  “You’re really good with Hendricks.”

  He hooked my shoulders and pulled me into him. “He’s a good kid.”

  I smiled. “You’d be a great dad.”

  He tensed, eyes narrowing. “I’ll never have kids Savvy.”

  My heart dropped. Killian didn’t want kids? Before I could ask why, he kissed me.

  And it wasn’t a quick, sweet kiss. It was a hard, deep, tongue-action kiss that had me sagging into him as my knees weakened.

  When he broke away, I wanted to bury my head in the sandbox because everyone was watching.

  “Ugh, gross,” Hendricks said as he ran up the steps with the soccer ball under his arm.

  The tension gone from Killian, he smirked then leaned back on the railing and positioned me in front of him, so my back was to his front. He looped his arms around me, and I rested my hands on his arms. It took me a few minutes before I relaxed, realizing that Killian had no qualms about letting it be known I was with him. But then, he hadn’t before either.

  We joined the conversation, which currently was Logan talking about how Ream threw Vincent in the pool a while back because he’d been hitting on Kat.

  This, I found out, was before Ream and Kat were together and their relationship, or rather non-relationship, was combustible.

  Brunch was nothing like I expected. Actually, I hadn’t known what to expect, but it wasn’t Killian laughing and joking around. There was still that underlying reserved part of him, but with his friends, the people he cared about, Killian was warm and easygoing.

  “You fit,” Killian said two hours later in the car.

  “Huh?” I asked, turning my attention to him, although I had to admit it was rarely off of him even when he wasn’t with me.

  “You fit. It’s like you’ve known them for years.”

  “I really like your friends, Killian.”

  “Yeah, but it’s more than that,” he said. “You can like people. They can like you, but you don’t fit. But you do.”

  His eyes briefly met mine before he looked back at the road.

  He was right. I hadn’t felt like I was on the outside looking in on a group of friends who’d known one another for years. I was on the inside with them.

  “I didn’t know you played soccer. I don’t remember you on the team at school.”

  He didn’t look at me, but I saw it, the hands tightening on the steering wheel and the clenched jaw. “I wasn’t.”

  “Oh.” There was something there, but he didn’t elaborate, and it was the part of Killian that I wasn’t so sure about. “Well, you looked… sexy.”

  “Sexy?” His brows lifted as he briefly glanced at me, and I shrugged while chewing on my bottom lip.

  “Yes. Incredibly sexy,” I said and ran my hands down my thighs. “And before you ask, yes, I was wet. I’m wet now.”

  “Fuck,” he said. Slowing the car, he turned into an alley then stopped the car. “Is your pussy throbbing? Aching? Does it want my cock, orchid?”

  God, it was hot when he spoke like that. “Yes.”

  He unclipped his seat belt, reached over and grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me toward him.

  His mouth slammed into mine.

  My stomach dropped. But it was a good drop. It was the kind where you were excited but startled at the same time.

  “Climb on my lap, orchid.”

  “It’s in the middle of the day and we’re in an alley.” And it was a total turn-on—the spontaneity of having sex in a sports car, in an alley in the middle of the day.

  “Mmm,” he smirked. “The windows are tinted. No one can see us.”

  I awkwardly climbed over the gear shift and straddled his lap. He gave me no time to think, breathe, or even settle myself comfortably before his mouth was on me again.

  Ravenous.

  Fierce.

  Uncontrolled as he savagely kissed me. One hand in my hair, he jerked my head to the side so he could deepen the kiss.

  Shocked at this sudden assault, I was a rag doll, molding my body to whatever he demanded.

  His hand went under my dress, and I heard a tear as he ripped my panties off.

  I had no idea how he managed it, and I didn’t care.

  Killian was going to fuck me.

  My back pressed painfully into the steering wheel, and my one foot was jammed awkwardly between the seat and the door, but it didn’t matter.

  I craved him. My need was so overpowering that control was nonexistent.

  “Killian,” I breathed against his lips.

  “Yes,” he growled. “Say my name. Again.”

  “Killian,” I repeated and it came out like ‘Illian as I panted.

  He kissed me then urged my head to the side where he nibbled on my neck at the same time as he thr
ust two fingers inside me.

  “Oh, God.”

  “Your pussy is so fuckin’ wet for me, Savvy.”

  I lifted as much as I could with my hands on his shoulders, fingers pulling at his shirt as I rode his fingers. My head hit the roof of the car each time I rose, but I barely noticed it.

  “Oh, God,” I cried when he let my hair go and grabbed my hip instead to help me move.

  Harder.

  Faster.

  He withdrew his fingers and pushed me back so my spine jammed into the steering wheel and the horn briefly sounded.

  His hands went to his jeans, and I quickly shoved them aside, undoing his belt, buttons, and then released his cock.

  He groaned, eyes closing, head falling back on the headrest. “Christ,” he muttered. “Condom. In my wallet.”

  I reached for his wallet in the console and found a condom. I quickly tore it open with my teeth then rolled it on him.

  I lifted then positioned above his cock and slowly lowered. A moan dragged from my throat as he filled me. God, it was like coming home. A home I didn’t know I had. A home I’d never had.

  His hands squeezed my hips so hard I knew I’d have bruises, but I wanted them.

  I wanted his mark on me because this was what I’d been missing all my life.

  Killian.

  “Jesus Christ, orchid,” he said in a ragged, breathless growl as I moved up and down on him.

  This wasn’t pretty or nice sex. This was hurting sex.

  And it was amazing.

  I sifted my hand through his hair and yanked on it while I thrust my hips. My other hand clawed at his shirt, and I heard the tear in the neckline as I yanked it down so I could touch his naked chest and his nipple piercing.

  “Baby,” he said as our bodies banged and hit together.

  “Killian,” I cried.

  His cock drove me insane as I moved up and down. The silver barbell rubbed against the wall of my sex and caused my core to heat and build, and my womb to flare with tingles.

  “Savvy. Fuck. Now,” he groaned, his hands tightening on my waist. Throwing his head back, corded neck exposed, he closed his eyes.

  Seeing him orgasm sent me over the edge and spiraling into my own release. I raised my arms above my head, palms flat on the roof as I tilted my hips into him one more time before I screamed, “Yes. Yes. Yes.” Then I moaned as wave after wave pulsed. “Ohh.”