His Lordship's Desire

by Joan Wolf

  Alex felt a chill go through him as he heard his own feelings spoken out loud.

  “Let’s get out of here,” he said. “We need to find a tavern where we can get very drunk.”

  It was after two in the morning when Alex staggered into the house. Instead of going upstairs to bed, he made his way down the hall to the library, where he flung himself into a leather chair that was placed comfortably in front of the fireplace.

  He didn’t want anything else to drink. He and Tom Stapleton had almost drunk each other under the table. But it had been very good to be with someone who was going through the same feeling of displacement as he was.

  I can’t continue like this, he told himself as he stared with blurred vision into the empty fireplace. I have to make a new life for myself. I am the Earl of Standish. I have responsibilities.

  But he was meeting his responsibilities, he thought. He was here in London, doing the things that a young man in his position was supposed to be doing. Wasn’t he?

  What do I want? he thought.

  The answer came immediately. I want Dee. She is home to me. She’s the only one who can bring me back to my old world. Stapleton doesn’t have anyone like that, but I do. I have Dee.

  But he didn’t have Dee, of course. He had thrown Dee away when he had gone away to war. He had loved her all his life, and he had left her anyway.

  What a fool he had been. And now it was too late. She wouldn’t forgive him, and there was nothing he could do about it. He couldn’t even blame her. He was the guilty one, not her. She deserved someone better than he.

  He heard the night footman open the door and there were voices in the hall. The ladies had returned from whatever ball they had been out to this evening.

  Tomorrow he had to ride to Richmond Park with Dee and Lord Rumford. And with Lady Caroline Wrentham, who for some reason appeared to be interested in him.

  She seemed to be a nice enough young woman, but he wasn’t interested in her. He wasn’t interested in anyone except Dee.

  What if she married the Earl of Rumford and was lost to him forever? What would he do?

  There is so much between us, he thought. Can she really turn her back on it all and marry a man old enough to be her father?

  She had never really had a father, he thought. Perhaps she was looking for one in Lord Rumford.

  When Diana invited Sally to join the expedition to Richmond Park, Sally had been delighted to accept. However, instead of asking Lord Dorset to join her, as everyone thought she would, she sent a note to the home of the Duke of Sinclair inviting him along.

  She did it with much trepidation. Sally had always thought of herself as a quiet girl, but she was discovering a boldness that she had not known she possessed. First she had rescued Jem from the chimney sweep, and now she was chasing after one of the most notorious rakes in London.

  She couldn’t explain it, but there was something about the Duke of Sinclair that spoke to her. There had been a look in his eyes when he had come to her rescue that day. He had not helped her on a whim. He had been as disgusted as she with Jem’s situation.

  Most of the men she danced with and drove in the park with were quite pleasant and charming. It was impossible not to like a nice young man like Lord Dorset. But she was not certain that he would have rescued Jem as Sinclair had. So she daringly sent a note off to Sinclair House asking the duke to escort her on the trip to Richmond, and he responded several hours later saying that he would.

  Fifteen

  Diana was riding beside Lord Rumford as they approached the entrance to Richmond Park. The day had started out overcast, but the clouds were burning away as the morning progressed. Diana gave Monty a pat with her gloved hand and looked around her with pleasure. It was nice to get out of the city for a change, she thought.

  At that moment, the sun came out.

  Lord Rumford said, “You really ought to have your picture painted on horseback, Miss Sherwood. You and Monty make a magnificent pair.”

  Diana turned to him. “He’s grand, isn’t he? I’m so glad Alex brought Bart home so that I could continue to ride Monty.”

  “Standish’s horse is very nice, as well,” he said. “Is that the horse he rode while he was in the army?”

  “Yes. They went through several battles together. I imagine that’s a bonding experience that can’t be equaled.”

  “I should think so,” he replied.

  Lord Rumford and his horse made a wonderful picture as well, Diana thought. The earl was riding a beautiful bay thoroughbred gelding, whose long legs and aristocratic face proclaimed his excellent breeding. The earl himself completed the picture, in his blue riding coat, tan breeches and highly polished riding boots.

  Diana had been very impressed by Rumford’s horse and even more impressed when she learned that the earl had bred the horse himself. The thought crossed her mind that it would be splendid to be married to a man who had such fabulous horses.

  And Rumford was easy to talk to. She had wondered what they would have to say to each other if they spent the whole day in each other’s company, but so far the conversation had flowed very comfortably. She looked forward to getting into the park and having a nice, long gallop with a man who probably could ride almost as well as Alex.

  Ahead of Diana, Sally was paired with the Duke of Sinclair. She rode her solid chestnut gelding, who could always be counted on to be sane and reliable. Sally rode well, but she didn’t like horses who might do something unexpected. She would never have ridden Monty, who was known to spook sometimes just to amuse himself.

  The duke’s horse was quite a bit taller than Sally’s chestnut, and she had to look up when she spoke to him. As the sun came out, it glinted off his dark gold hair, and his eyes seemed to get greener, and Sally thought he was the most striking man she had ever seen.

  His conversation had been polished and amusing. Sally had tried to respond in kind, talking about the people she had met in London and the things she had been doing. He had several funny stories about some of the odd people she mentioned and he had made her laugh.

  He was so obviously a man of the world. He was thirty years old, immensely rich, and a duke—the most noble noble of all. Listening to him, watching him, Sally wondered that she had had the temerity to invite him to accompany her. She was just a green girl and, according to Alex, not at all the kind of woman the duke usually associated with.

  But he came, she thought, with a flash of triumph.

  She had been surprised by that—she really hadn’t expected him to accept her invitation. But her surprise had been nothing compared to the surprise of the other people in her party when Sinclair had shown up at their designated meeting spot instead of Lord Dorset.

  Alex had given her a look that clearly denoted displeasure and even Lord Rumford had looked startled. The only one who had not been surprised was Diana. When Sally had received the duke’s acceptance note, she had confided in her best friend, so Diana had been prepared to give Sinclair a friendly smile and a welcome.

  Too bad if Alex doesn’t like it, Sally had thought defiantly. It’s my life, not his.

  Now, as they approached the entrance to the park, Lady Moulton, Lord Rumford’s sister, rode up beside Sally. Sally knew she had been under her chaperone’s observance for the entire ride, and she had done her best to ignore Lady Moulton’s penetrating gaze. But she had resented it. What did Lady Moulton think Sinclair would do? Ravish her while they were on the road?

  Now Sally turned her head to the newcomer and said pleasantly, “It appears to be turning into a lovely day, Lady Moulton.”

  “Yes indeed,” Lord Rumford’s sister replied. She looked across Sally to Sinclair. “Have you been enjoying yourself, Your Grace?”

  “Very much,” the duke replied smoothly. “It is a pleasure to get out of the city in such lovely weather.”

  Lady Moulton smiled. She was a handsome woman in her late forties and the resemblance between her and her brother was strong.

  �
��I don’t think you’d find a party anywhere that had such a collection of well-bred horses,” she said conversationally to the duke. She looked at the duke’s tall, handsome gray and then, for a fraction of a second, her eyes alighted on Sally’s chestnut. Her eyebrows rose skeptically.

  Sally bristled. All of the other horses were thoroughbreds, but Moses was a thoroughbred-pony cross. His body was broader and more solid and his legs were shorter than the pure bred aristocrats that everyone else was riding. She patted him, as if to apologize for Lady Moulton’s insulting glance.

  Sinclair saw her action and said, “All of the horses have good looks, but I’d wager that the best brain belongs to Lady Sarah’s animal. He just looks smart and sensible.”

  Sally gave him a grateful smile. “He is. Nothing fazes Moses. The thoroughbreds act with their nerves, Moses acts with his head. That’s why I love him so much. He never does anything stupid.”

  “A horse like that is a pearl of great price,” the duke said.

  The soft breeze blew the veil on Lady Moulton’s hat and she pushed it out of her way. She asked Sally, “Have you ever hunted him?”

  Sally shook her head. “Galloping over fences was never my idea of a good time. Besides, I had rheumatic fever when I was twelve, and although it doesn’t seem to have affected my heart, the doctors said I should avoid strenuous physical activity.”

  The duke raised his golden eyebrows. “Rheumatic fever,” he said. “That is a very serious illness.”

  For a brief moment, the image of herself, lying in her bedroom and looking yearningly out the window, flashed through Sally’s mind. Then she forced her attention back to the present and answered the duke. “Yes. I was kept in bed for six months. But my heart seems to be fine and I’m sure I could hunt if I wanted to. I just choose not to. Alex and Diana used to hunt all the time, and the stories they brought home made my blood run cold.”

  Lady Moulton said, “I’m sure you hunt, Your Grace.”

  “Yes,” Sinclair replied. “I am a member of several hunts. But very few women are hunt members, Lady Moulton. It can be a dangerous sport. Lady Sarah is probably wise to avoid it.”

  “I hunt all the time,” Lady Moulton said, raising her chin.

  “Good for you,” Sinclair replied. On the surface his voice was perfectly pleasant, but Sally heard a definite note of sarcasm underneath.

  Evidently Lady Moulton heard it, too, for she flushed and her chin went even higher.

  Sally, who appreciated his sticking up for her, still couldn’t bear to hurt anyone’s feelings. She said earnestly, “It’s true that not many women hunt. At home, Diana was the only one who always finished the whole course. Most of the other women dropped out after a few fields. You must be a very good rider, Lady Moulton.”

  “I am,” Lady Moulton replied seriously. “It runs in my family.” She glanced over her shoulder at Diana and Lord Rumford. “It’s interesting that Miss Sherwood is such a neck or nothing rider. My brother is the same.”

  The three of them chatted for a few more minutes, then Lady Moulton dropped back to join her brother and Diana.

  Sally and the duke rode in silence for a few minutes. The sun had come out strongly, making the green beginning to push out on the trees look very bright. Finally the duke said, “That must have been difficult for a twelve-year-old, to be confined to bed for such a long period of time.”

  “It wasn’t fun,” Sally replied, shrugging in a replica of the gesture she had picked up from Diana. “It was actually very educational. I read hugely. And my family was very attentive—especially Diana.” She smiled reminiscently. “It was like a breath of fresh air every time she walked into my bedroom.”

  The duke was regarding her with unreadable green eyes. “You two are very close, I gather,” he said.

  “I couldn’t be closer to her if she were my sister,” Sally replied. “She was the one who had the idea to place Jem with our head groom. And she and Alex were the ones who took him to Standish Court the day after I found him.”

  “But you were the one who rescued him,” the duke pointed out. “I don’t know of another lady in the ton who would have clasped that filthy child to her breast the way you did.”

  “I can’t bear to see children suffering,” Sally said simply. “That is why I joined this committee to stop the use of climbing boys.”

  “Who else is on this committee?” the duke asked.

  At that moment, a squirrel dashed across the path in front of them. The duke’s horse jumped sideways and spun around, ready to run. Sinclair quieted him and got him turned back in the right direction. Moses gave the elegant thoroughbred a look as if to say, How can you be so stupid?

  Sally saw the look, patted her horse and said, “You’re so smart, Mose.”

  The chestnut’s ears flicked back to listen, then pointed forward once more. Sally turned to the duke to answer his question.

  “The committee is composed of three members of the House of Commons, Mr. Eggleston, who owns a bank in the City and provides our financing, several other men from the City, Lady Barnstable, Mrs. Adams, Sir Henry Bartlet and me. Unfortunately, I don’t have the power to contribute much, but they all assure me that having an earl’s sister on their committee will make us more powerful.”

  Silence. Then the duke said slowly, “I might be interested in joining such a committee.”

  Sally’s whole face lit up. “Oh, Your Grace! That would be wonderful! If they were happy to get an earl’s sister, imagine how ecstatic they will be a get a duke!”

  “What exactly does this committee do?” the duke asked.

  Sally spent the ten minutes before they reached the park gates telling him about it.

  Alex and Lady Caroline had led the party from the time they left their meeting place. At first Lady Caroline had been curious about Sally’s escort.

  “I’ve never known Sinclair to spend any time with a young girl,” she said. “All of his previous flirts have been women of the world.”

  “He has a bad reputation,” Alex said grimly. “I don’t want to see my sister get involved with him.”

  “Perhaps he’s thinking of settling down,” Lady Caroline suggested. “It’s about time he was setting up his nursery. He’s thirty, at least.”

  “Well, he can set up his nursery with someone else,” Alex said. “Sally is a very sensitive girl. If she marries a rake she will be exceedingly unhappy. She’s the kind of girl who wants to marry for love, and I don’t think Sinclair is the man to give her that.”

  They rode in silence for a minute or so, then Lady Caroline said, “What do you think of Miss Sherwood and Lord Rumford?”

  Alex felt a stabbing pain in the region of his heart.

  “He’s too old for her,” he said shortly.

  “Age notwithstanding, he’s a tremendous catch. Most mamas of eligible girls would be thrilled to see their daughters married to him.”

  Alex thought of how happy his own mother was about this possible match for Diana, and said nothing.

  Lady Caroline said, “I had a cousin who fought in the Peninsula. Perhaps you knew him? Lieutenant Edward Foster?”

  For the first time all morning, Alex really looked at Lady Caroline, really saw her. He had been so preoccupied with Dee and Rumford and Sally and Sinclair, that he had spared little thought for his own companion. Now he looked into her dark blue eyes and replied, “Yes, I knew Ned Foster. He was wounded at Vitoria, wasn’t he?”

  “Yes. He lost an arm.”

  “Jesus.” Alex took one hand off his reins to rub his eyes. “How is he doing?”

  “He’s doing about as well as can be expected,” she replied. “His mother and my mother are sisters, so I hear about him frequently. But it’s hard for a twenty-one-year old man to lose an arm.”

  “It’s terrible,” Alex agreed. He thought of his own wounded arm and of how lucky he had been that the wound had not turned putrid, necessitating an amputation.

  “It’s so wonderful that the war i
s over,” Lady Caroline said. “So many men, killed or wounded. There’s not a family that I know of who hasn’t lost a friend or a relative.”

  Her short blond hair peeked out from beneath her stylish hat with gleams of gold, her eyes were darkly blue, her skin was as pure as alabaster. She was utterly lovely, he thought.

  But she wasn’t Dee.

  He said grimly, “War is hell, and if anyone tells you otherwise, he’s lying.”

  She gave him a searching look. Then she said, “Well, it’s over, Lord Standish, and Napoleon has been defeated. So I suppose it was worth all the sacrifice after all.”

  “Yes,” Alex said. He turned in his saddle to glance back at Diana. Her coppery hair was hidden under her riding hat so all that could be seen was the pure beauty of her face as she smiled up at Lord Rumford.

  Abruptly, Alex turned back to his own partner.

  What are we to talk about? he thought a little desperately. I don’t know this girl at all. He struggled mightily to come up with something to say. We’ve talked about Sally and Dee. We’ve talked about the war. What is left?

  Lady Caroline said smoothly, “Have you been to visit all of your properties since you came home?”

  Relief that she had come up with something caused him to be more talkative about his various estates than he would ordinarily have been. Lady Caroline listened intently and asked intelligent questions, and the topic carried them all the way to Richmond Park.

  Once they were in the park, they all had a good long gallop. The thoroughbreds were glad of the chance to run and Moses gamely managed to keep the rest of them in sight. The duke soon dropped back to join Sally at the end of the pack. He shortened his horse’s stride and rode beside her where the path was wide enough and just before her where it narrowed. When the horses in front slowed down, from gallop to canter to trot to walk, Sally and the duke continued galloping until they caught up with the rest of the party. Then they, too, walked.