The Strength of Love

by Serena Akeroyd

  Luke gulped back the emotion his husband’s words caused. “You say that now. What if the appeal doesn’t go according to plan?”

  “You think it can go any other way after my CO has gotten himself involved? He wouldn’t risk his own reputation unless he had all his ducks in a line. I like the man, respect him even, but where I’m a uniform-wearing desk jockey, he’s a politician. He has the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff in his sights. This will help that cause, not detract from it.

  “Regardless of any of that, if, God forbid, they had locked you up…you have to know Gia and I would have stood by you. Through thick and thin.”

  “I know,” Luke whispered, ducking his head to avoid the sincerity in his husband’s eyes. “I know that, and it’s hard to believe in it sometimes, to realize how much people can love you.”

  “It’s not hard. It’s frightening. It makes us vulnerable. Those people are our weaknesses, our Achilles’ heel, but I wouldn’t have it any other way, would you?”

  He was slow to do it, but Luke shook his head. “No. I wouldn’t.” For a second, his jaw worked as he gathered the strength to say what needed to be said, words that felt like a lifetime had passed since he’d last made the declaration. And maybe it had. “I love you, Josh.”

  “And I love you, Luke.” He squeezed his hand. “Everything will be all right. I promise.”

  That was the thing about Josh. His promises were hard to come by, but once stated, it was like a blood oath. With his vow in mind, Luke nodded and finally felt able to relax a little.

  For the first time in three months, he felt sure tonight he’d be nightmare free.

  And Christ, did he need the rest.

  Chapter Two

  “Where’s Mommy?”

  “Louisiana, sugar pea—well, close to it. She’s going somewhere on the state line,” Josh told his daughter, but he peered over at Luke, who was mashing potatoes with a ricer.

  As he scowled down at the kitchen tool, which apparently took more than a BSc from Stanford to work, Luke mumbled, “You know that. Grandma Lou already told you.”

  “I don’t like it. I want to go to Louisiana too.”

  “Mommy needs some adult time, Lexi.”

  Their sixty-pound, four-feet-nothing little girl folded her arms and mulishly retorted, “She’s never needed it before. What have you done to make her need it now?”

  Josh, taken aback, blinked, but Luke was quick to field her angry remark with, “No, she hasn’t. But there’s always a first. You never liked playing in the garden before, did you? And now you love working with Grandma Lou. Things change. People change.”

  “Mommy’s not people. She’s Mommy, and she’s supposed to be with me.” Her bottom lip started to quiver, and Josh froze at the sight.

  She was about to cry.

  Dear God, he’d made their baby cry.

  Guilt shredded him once more and turned him to stone. He couldn’t move, could do nothing as Luke immediately downed tools and headed over to her. He curled an arm about her shoulders and tugged her close. “Hey, sugar plum, your daddy and I will get offended. Don’t you want to be with us?” he teased, a pout to his tone.

  “Of course I do, Papa, but I want Mommy. I want her to tuck me into bed tonight. What about my bedtime story? She knows all the voices. You and Daddy don’t.”

  “You’ve got me there, darlin’, but I can learn, can’t I? Or we could leave that book for Mommy to read you when she gets home, and we can start a new one together. How does that sound? Or we could crack on with Harry Potter again? How ’bout that?”

  Her face told its own tale—it sounded like shit.

  Josh’s voice was rusty as he whispered, “She won’t be away for long, Lexi. I promise.” He wanted to ask her what had changed between now and yesterday. When they’d told her, she’d seemed to accept the news with ease. But as soon as Gia had driven off, she’d been glued to the window seat, staring out onto the drive as though her mother would appear at any moment with bags of ice cream in hand.

  Lexi’s reaction to Gia’s absence was a testament to how close mother and daughter were. He’d known, but seeing it was believing.

  “How long’s long, Daddy?” Lexi demanded. “Tomorrow?” She knelt on her seat, excitement suddenly diminishing her sorrow. “Will she be back then?”

  He gulped, wishing like hell he could tell her Gia would be back in the morning. But Luke’s appeal was set for three days’ time. While he believed it wouldn’t take long, a day was too long for Lexi.

  Luke must have sensed the chagrin he aimed at himself, because he murmured, “It’s going to be at least a week, sugar plum.”

  Lexi’s tiny chin started to quiver, and this time, after a few blinks, the tears did start to fall. Her little shoulders started to shake, and she turned into Luke’s arm, letting him comfort her.

  Josh watched on, wishing like hell he knew what to do. How to make his baby girl feel better. He’d grown up with too many sisters on his case, too many hormones and emotions. He and his dad had taken solace in each other, taking part in and watching sports together while the women had sorted themselves out. Rather than get him used to people with two X chromosomes, it seemed to have done the opposite—make him avoid them at all costs.

  Until Gia. And Lexi, that is. Maybe it was God’s idea of irony to gift him a daughter. A little creature whom he had no idea how to please.

  Feeling useless and hating himself for it, he got to his feet and forced himself to approach her. She was crying. Tears of salt water, not acid. They wouldn’t burn him, and if they did, they were his baby girl’s tears. He deserved the burn for making her do without her mommy.

  She was seated at the island breakfast bar, and he rounded the counter to approach her from the other side. Luke looked at him in inquiry, but he ignored the glance and unfolded Lexi from her tight grip on her papa. Josh hefted her up, even though she resisted—for the first time in a lifetime, which was like another spear to his heart—and he perched her butt on the bar.

  Chucking her under the chin, he stared her square in the eye and murmured, “Mommy loves you, just like Papa loves you and like I love you. You, my little sweetheart, couldn’t be more adored. So those tears, you don’t need to let them fall, because all they’re going to do is make your eyes sore. Mommy’s fine. She’s safe and well, and hey, she needs a break too. You love studying, but you like to read something funny, don’t you? Or play a game on the tablet?” When she nodded, he continued, “See, we all need that. A change is as good as a rest, as my grandma used to say.”

  “I only want to go with her. I’d be a good girl. She could have a break with me there.”

  In an ideal world, Lexi could. But she was registered as Luke’s and his daughter. Josh didn’t know how much of a spotlight they’d be under, and he wanted to downplay the drama as much as he could. In any other scenario, a scandal such as the one he’d uncovered, it would have caused a field day in the press. But so far, things had remained hush-hush, which meant someone somewhere was controlling the story. This entire farce couldn’t be more FUBAR, so he had to cover for every eventuality, no matter how distant and improbable they might be.

  The bitch of it was, he wanted to protect his family, and that meant causing them distress. Talk about a catch-22 situation.

  “Well, we all need time to ourselves, sweet pea,” he told her as gently as his voice would allow. He felt like he’d been grating rocks with his voice box all day, and for a man who was entirely not in touch with his emotions, that was a huge admission to make.

  “Not Mommy. That’s not what mommies do.”

  Astonished by that obstinate declaration, he was speechless. However, Luke piped in cheerfully, “Nope, it’s not. Mommies need a break more than most because they’re the busiest bees around. Let’s see if we can video chat with her, though. How about that? Would that cheer you up?”

  While Lexi immediately perked up, wonder in her eyes that far exceeded the solution, Josh frowned at h
is husband, but Luke shook his head in warning. He could see Luke’s point—video calls couldn’t be traced.

  Damn.

  He knew he’d been working far too long in intelligence when that was the immediate path his mind took.

  God help him, he was jumpier than a cat on heat.

  He grabbed his phone, connected to the video call app, and buzzed Gia the instant it opened. Lexi needed her mom, and this wasn’t the eighteenth century. Technology made things far easier.

  “Josh? Is everything okay?”

  When her beautiful face popped up on screen, his heart clutched, and he immediately passed the phone to Lexi, wanting to warn Gia that little ears were around to listen in.

  “Baby!”

  “Mommy, where are you?”

  Gia blinked, a frown of consternation twitching across her brow. “I’m on my little break, sweetheart. Remember? We talked about this?”

  Lexi swallowed back the tears, but her lower lip popped out and began to tremble once more. “I know we did, but I don’t like it. You’re supposed to be here.”

  “It’s only for a little while, Lexi.”

  “Can’t you come home now?”

  Gia shook her head. “Don’t be a silly billy. I only left this morning! I’m in the most marvelous place. There’s lots to see and do, things you wouldn’t like, love. But don’t you worry, because I’ll bring you something back from every place I visit. That way you’ll get a little piece of everywhere I visit.”

  “Will you get me a book?”

  “What do you think? Did you even need to ask that?”

  Lexi pursed her lips—which had thankfully stopped trembling. “Nope, but I wanted to make sure you hadn’t forgotten that books are my most favorite thing in the entire world.”

  Gia sniggered. “How long do you think I’ve been away if I’d forgotten that!”

  “Where are you now?”

  “I’ve just arrived at my hotel. I’m in a place called Lafayette.”

  “I don’t know that place.”

  “Get one of your daddies to show you on the map. It’s not too far away.”

  “Why are you there?”

  “Why not? I thought it seemed like as good a place as any to visit.”

  “It’s a funny name.”

  “It’s named after a great general in the Civil War. But remember we talked about Acadians in history?”

  Perplexed, Josh looked at Luke, who just grinned. Who in the hell taught five-year-olds about Acadia in history class? Apparently Gia. And it seemed like something Lexi was interested in, because she nodded eagerly.

  Five-year-olds with an interest in Creole culture. He guessed he should be used to Lexi and her peculiar interest in all things cerebral—she’d be reading Voltaire soon.

  “They’re the people who used to live in Canada, but Britain made them leave when France lost the Seven Years’ War.”

  “Well done, Lexi! You’ve got it in one. Well, Lafayette is the center of that people’s culture.”

  Lexi started to pout again. “Why have you visited without me? It sounds nice. I want to go too.”

  “Recon, darling, of course.”

  “Recon?”

  “Yep,” Gia replied. “I had to make sure there was plenty for you to see, didn’t I? I don’t want you to be bored!”

  Lexi blinked at that, her mouth rounding into an O. “Are we going on a trip when you come home?”

  “I didn’t exactly say that, did I? But I’m sure your dads and I could arrange something. Are you being a good girl for them?”

  Lexi huffed. “I’m always a good girl, Mommy.”

  “True,” she conceded with a smile. “Although it is homework time, sweetheart. Why are you busy chitchatting to me when you’ve got stuff to do?”

  Another blink. “You’re right, Mommy. I need to get on.” She made to climb down from the high stool, then hovered. “Will you call me before bedtime?”

  “You try and stop me.”

  “Okay, good. I’ll tell you how much I got done.”

  “That’s wonderful, love.” She smiled as Lexi scampered off, leaving her fathers staring perplexed at their small daughter’s now skipping self.

  “How in the hell did you do that?” Josh asked, still astonished at the about-face from emotional and teary to buoyant and hungry to learn.

  “Just remind her she has to learn something.”

  The shrug in her voice astonished him. “We have a mini-genius on our hands.”

  She chuckled. “Oh, sweetheart, have you only just figured that out? She’s already surpassed fifth-grade reading levels, and I’m teaching her stuff from classes for nine-year-olds, and she’s sucking it up like a sponge. Distract her with learning. It always works for me.” The last statement came loaded with guilt.

  Luke cocked a brow. “Since when do you have to distract her?”

  “Well, if I need to do chores or something. She’d never let me out of the study if I didn’t shove a book in her hand.”

  Josh smiled, tickled by the notion of Gia being locked in the study because their daughter was a knowledge hound.

  “You smile, but you wouldn’t if I let her get away with it. How else do you think I make dinner?” She pulled a face, then grinned.

  That grin melted Josh’s heart, and Luke’s too, apparently, as he murmured, “It’s good to see you, love.”

  She clicked her tongue. “I’ve only been away for six hours.”

  “Can’t a man miss his woman?”

  “Of course, but still, six hours is a little ridiculous.” She blew him a kiss. “Not that you’ll find me complaining, I’m only stating a fact. Lexi must have been driving you crazy for you to miss me so much and so quickly.”

  Josh shook his head. “No, she’s been holed up in the study watching the driveway.”

  “Waiting for me to come home?” Gia gnawed at her lip. “That little girl kills me.”

  “I don’t think that’s her intention,” Luke teased.

  “No, I don’t doubt that, but still…” She hesitated, then eventually said, “I didn’t expect you to call me like this.”

  “We didn’t either, did we, Josh? But when Lexi asked to talk to you, we figured it was the best way. She wouldn’t have asked if it wasn’t important.”

  “I thought we had to maintain radio silence.” She lowered her voice and mimicked Josh’s tone. Hearing it made him grimace—if he genuinely sounded like that, God help him, he sounded as bad as Luke’s father, Robert.

  What a fucking sobering thought.

  “We do, but this isn’t as easy to trace as a phone call,” he inserted after he cleared his throat. “Well, it’s not impossible, but still, I don’t think people are going to dig that deep.”

  “Ah, the nefarious people.” She pursed her lips. “I’m starting to dislike people.”

  “You and me both,” Luke chimed in.

  “I’ve never liked them, so you two are behind.” He pulled a face and hunched his shoulders as he stared down into the tablet screen where one of the loves of his life was watching him. “I wish you were home, Gia.”

  “I’m not going to lie. I wish I was too.”

  “We all wish it.”

  Staring at Josh, she prompted, “Let’s not fixate on that, though, eh? We have to do this for Luke and for the people that bastard Harrison has been abusing.” She nodded, resolve loaded in the gesture.

  He absorbed that because it was the unpalatable truth. But a thought popped into his head, distracting him, and he blurted out, “Why Lafayette?”

  Her brows rose at Josh’s abrupt question. “Why not Lafayette?”

  He shrugged, then leaned forward to rest his elbows on the counter. “Seems like an odd choice.”

  “Don’t tell the locals that.”

  “That was bull for Lexi’s sake about the Acadians.” He narrowed his eyes at her. “What’s going on, Gia?”

  She scowled. “Nothing’s going on. You told me to get the hell out of Dodge,
so I did.”

  He studied her a second, noting the peevish cast to her mouth. Her dander was up. Good and proper. And Gia’s dander was nonexistent. He was on the brink of asking what the hell she was hiding, but Luke elbowed him in the side, stating as he did, “Hey, I went to PT today.”

  Attention grasped, Gia’s eyes lit up. “You did? Well done, sweetheart. How did it go?”

  “It hurt. Like hell.”

  “I’m sorry. It will get better, love. You have to persevere, that’s all.”

  “I know. I feel more flexible. Getting up the stairs was a little easier today, but it still hurts.”

  Josh cut Luke a glance because his husband never talked about his injuries. Ever. And yet here he was, tugging at her heartstrings, playing the sympathy card.

  Gia sat up, and he saw she was in bed, stacked pillows at her back. They weren’t the best quality, and with the jostling of the camera, there was a little more light to the video, which let him see the old-fashioned cane bedhead, the battered seventies bedside lamp, and an avocado-green nightstand. She was in a motel. And not a good one.

  The temptation to ask what she was really doing in Lafayette hit him again, but Luke had carried on with his monolog, “I took a few pills and had a nap earlier. It’s eased it some.”

  She pointed at Josh. “Make sure he keeps up with his medication, Josh. You know what he’s like. If he admits it’s hurting, that means it’s close to dropping off.”

  Despite his suspicions, Josh chuckled at the correct summation of their husband. “I will. Don’t worry.”

  “Of course I worry. I love you. Both of you.” She sighed. “I’m going to get some sleep, guys. I’m exhausted. The roads were crazy. I passed three accidents, and each one slowed me down to a standstill.”

  Luke frowned at her. “Are you feeling all right? It’s only six. Nowhere close to Lexi’s bedtime, never mind yours.”

  “I’m just drained.” She bit her bottom lip. “It was hard leaving this morning, then both your moms called to check up on me, and the traffic… I’m sure I’ll be fine as soon as I’ve slept. Have you all eaten?”

  “No, we were in the middle of preparing dinner when Lexi had her little meltdown.”