Clementine

by R. Jean Wilson

  Addison continued to stare at the space his body had just been occupying. What the hell does that mean? Did he lie to her or did he in fact go on a date? She knew she was meant to be getting out of the car but she needed another second to collect her thoughts before opening her door. She didn’t know how she was meant to act. Flirty? Nonchalant? Unattainable? Yeah right. She pushed her worries away, along with the random desire to make out with Holden in the back seat rather than go kayaking at all. She smiled at the thought as she finished her granola bar and hopped out of the car. It would be a friendly make-out; people have those I think...

  They unstrapped the kayak from the top of the SUV and started carrying it down the wooded trail to the edge of the river. Holden went first and carried most of the weight, but Addison tried to help as much as she could.

  “I can store a few things inside, but the space doesn’t fit much,” he offered as they set the kayak down on the bank.

  “Oh okay, I didn’t really bring anything,” she said, looking down at her cover up.

  “We can take off our shoes and store them under that tree. No one should mess with them,” he said, pointing to a tree a few yards away.

  Addison followed him over to the tree and bent down to collect her sandals. As fate would have it, she looked up at the exact moment Holden had begun to lift his shirt over his head. Ohhhkay, that’s his chest. She was momentarily stunned by the sight. She remembered wondering what his bare chest looked like the night of the hospital fundraiser. His abs were fiercely chiseled; a small peppering of hair fell across his chest and down toward the top of his low-riding bathing suit trunks. The way the trunks sat low on his hips made it impossible not to stare. She felt a blush creep up her cheeks and willed herself to look away just as he tossed his shirt under the tree with their shoes.

  She couldn’t bring herself to make eye contact with him after having so many dirty thoughts run through her mind. She wanted to step close to him and run her hand over his tanned abs. She wondered how his arms would feel wrapped around her small frame. His bare chest made him even more intimidating and she pretended to be enthralled with a leaf on the ground as she tried to will the rosy blush on her cheeks to disappear. Yup… that’s a maple leaf.

  She finally looked back toward him, clearing her throat.

  “So, are we ready?” she stammered, unable to keep her gaze on him for more than a few seconds at a time. She crossed and uncrossed her arms. What the hell, how do I normally stand? Where do I normally look?

  When she realized he hadn’t answered her question after a few moments she looked up to find an amused smirk across his face. He knows the effect he has on me. What an arrogant… She narrowed her eyes at him before turning on her heel and grabbing the tube of sun block near the kayak.

  “Need any help with that, Addison?” Holden asked as he walked over to her, unable to mask his amused tone.

  Yeah right, like I’m going to inflate his ego anymore.

  “Nope. I can manage, Holden,” she said emphasizing his name, secretly enjoying the sly game they were playing.

  Holden hung his head and laughed under his breath as he strolled toward her. He kept the smirk plastered on his adorably arrogant face as he held his hand out for a squeeze of sun block. She begrudgingly obliged, watching as he worked the lotion onto his shoulders and arms, wondering what it would feel like if he were doing it to her body instead.

  They pushed off the side of the bank, Addison in the front seat of the kayak, Holden in the back. He explained the strategy to paddling: that she just needed to paddle normally and he would worry about steering and keeping rhythm with her. They worked in silence for the first few minutes, both slowly getting used to working in tandem. She instantly admired how well he operated the kayak, making the ride as smooth as possible for her.

  “I don’t feel like I’m helping much,” she confessed looking back at him; the sun had risen, casting a soft glow around him.

  “Nah, you’re doing more than you think, I promise,” he answered, continuing to paddle. If his abs and arms had looked toned before, the simple act of swinging the paddle back and forth highlighted every ounce of muscle he had.

  She turned back around and closed her eyes, wanting to think about that visual a moment longer.

  “Hey, we’ve only been paddling for two minutes, you can’t give up all ready,” he joked as Addison realized she’d just been sitting there, daydreaming. Good thing he can’t read my mind.

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah. We both know I’ll be carrying your sorry butt back when you get tired,” she answered, eliciting a loud laugh from Holden.

  Addison kept paddling, beginning to feel the strain in her upper arm muscles as she repeatedly pushed her paddle in the water and pulled it back out.

  “I wish you could see the way the sun highlights your hair...You should let it down.”

  Whoa. His compliment took her off guard and just like that she was back to feeling completely without her wits around him. She was confused that such an innocent request could send shivers down her spine.

  “I guess I could, before it gets too hot,” she murmured, reaching back and pulling the elastic band from her hair before running her hands through it, releasing the bright strands down her back.

  His breath caught for a minute and Addison didn’t know whether it was in reaction to her or just from his paddling. She hoped it was her, that he was feeling even a fraction of what she had after seeing him slip his shirt off earlier.

  They continued to kayak down Town Lake, getting closer to downtown Austin as the sun rose high behind them. Her arms burned from the continuous paddling, but it felt good to work out muscles that usually got skipped over during her normal yoga and running sessions. Still, Addison decided to take a break from paddling and allowed herself a few moments to take in the amazing view in front of her. The city skyline rose up around the river. The skyscrapers and high-rise apartment buildings stood stoically, the early morning light refracting off each of the window panes.

  A massive bridge connected the two sides of the river a few yards in front of them. Its large concrete arches rose securely, forcing their manmade necessity onto the serenity of the river.

  “For the past ten years, various artists have decorated those arches.” Holden spoke, as Addison noticed the various paintings on the concrete.

  “The police used to continuously wipe it clean and repaint it with a horrible stale grey color. But eventually, the city protested. People said they’d rather see the beautiful artwork, even the graffiti, because it reinforced the culture of the city.”

  Addison nodded, taking in his thoughtful words and scanning the concrete for her favorite design. In the middle of the bridge, in bright yellow letters someone had simply written: Don’t give up.

  “I like that one the best,” she declared, pointing toward the words.

  “Me too.” His eyes never looked up at the painting though, when she turned back his chestnut gaze was pinned on her. What in the world is he thinking?

  Holden paused his paddling and they sat in silence for a moment. Addison rested back on her hands, appreciating the light breeze accompanying the river’s natural current that pushed them forward, toward the bridge. She let out a soft laugh when a group of ducks passed by. The little ducklings were close enough to touch but she just watched them swimming by. Those birds were the only company Addison and Holden had on the river that morning. They circled the kayak, making her giggle as they quacked loudly.

  “I’m not sure if they want us on their river, Holden.”

  She suddenly felt the kayak rock to the side and she held onto the sides fearing it was about to tip over. She looked behind her and found Holden sprawled out, lying on his back on the kayak. His legs were still flexed but he was flat on his back, his arms folded comfortably behind his head.

  She studied him for a minute, noticing the way his muscles pulled taut against his abs and chest.

  “Oh I see, am I meant to paddle us the rest of t
he way?” she joked. Holden laughed and sat up on his elbows.

  “When I first started kayaking I would go out on the river and focus so much on getting to my halfway point and back quickly that I didn’t let myself take in the whole experience of being out here... Its amazing Addison. You should lay back and just breathe for a few minutes.”

  Addison glanced at him skeptically. He seemed to continuously surprise her, and she found herself letting her guard down a little more each time he did. She wouldn’t have pegged him as a guy who knew how to relax. She turned back around and paused for a moment before slowly lowering herself onto her back. She was forced to close her eyes to shield them from the sun, but found the loss of one sense leaving her capable of taking in different aspects of her surroundings. The boat rocked as the slow current carried them further down the river, the wind whistling against the leaves on the trees near the bank. She could sense his gaze falling over her body, and she was glad she kept her cover up on. Even still, she became self-conscious of every rise and fall of her chest as she worked to calm her heart rate.

  “Open your eyes Addison,” Holden ordered just as she could sense a large shadow falling over their kayak. She opened her eyes in time to notice the underbelly of the bridge she’d just seen from a distance. She sat up on her elbows as Holden began to steer the kayak over to one of the pillar platforms that held up the large concrete arches. Huh? When they reached the island, he held his hand out to brace the kayak.

  “Are we stopping?” Addison turned to face him, “Is this another part of you wanting to notice the journey and not just the destination?”

  He let out a low laugh before throwing their paddles onto the platform.

  “Not exactly... I have to be honest, we didn’t just come out here this early to avoid the heat,” he admitted, moving as if he were about to pull himself onto the small concrete platform.

  Addison sat stunned.

  “We also came out this early so that when we jump from the bridge, we won’t have to worry about any kayakers being in our way… and it may be somewhat outside the letter of the law,” he turned, looking at her, a wicked grin across his face. He looked so earnest in that moment.

  “I’m sorry, what?” she asked looking up toward the arches that hung above them. Before answering, Holden turned toward the thin concrete island and pushed himself up, causing the kayak to sway from the lack of counterbalance. He dusted himself off and turned to face her, his hands resting on his hips. His eyes held a sense of amusement as he took in her shocked reaction.

  “How would we even do that? Can’t you get hurt jumping from that high?” she continued, knowing that she damn well was not jumping off any bridges today. This guy must be insane. She pulled her gaze from the arches and narrowed her eyes at Holden.

  “Addison, you’ll be fine, I promise,” He spoke smoothly and gently, crouching down so that his face was inches away from hers. His eyes traveled to her parted lips briefly before making eye contact with her. His brown eyes seemed so trustworthy, his gaze was steady and calm. She knew in that moment she would’ve done anything he asked.

  “I’ve done it a few times before and the height really isn’t as bad as it seems,” He promised, offering her a hand so that she could climb out of the kayak.

  She was still too stunned to comprehend what they were about to do, but she allowed him to help her up onto the platform anyway.

  “Let’s say you somehow sweet talk me into doing this, it won’t hurt will it?”

  “Addison, I wouldn’t ask you to do something that could hurt you... however, when you jump, you should keep your legs closed and try to let your feet break the water first.” The confident smile spread across his face held so much amusement she almost wanted to push him in the water just to knock his ego down a few pegs.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll keep them closed Holden,” she said cheekily, loving the slight shock that played across his face at her words.

  He shook his head, laughing, before heading over to one of the concrete arches.

  “I’ll climb up first and then help pull you up. From there, we just walk up the arch to the highest point, and jump,” he explained simply, beginning to pull his body up onto the ledge of the arch.

  She nodded, taking in his instructions. She didn’t shy away from watching him easily pull his body up onto the ledge, his back muscles rippling in a way that sent a feeling of lust through her. I might as well get my fill before I jump to my death. She let out an audible huff before deciding she finally had to slip her cover up over her head. Addison was comfortable and confident in her own skin, knowing how long her legs looked in her bikini and the way her bandeau top pushed her breasts up just enough to tease Holden a bit, but she still felt slightly nervous.

  He’d finished pulling himself up onto the ledge and was turning around when she tossed her cover up onto the kayak. His body momentarily stilled as he took in her newly exposed skin. His eyes skimmed down her body slowly. He wasn’t even trying to be coy as his eyes met hers and he smiled wickedly.

  “That’s a good color on you,” he said bending down to offer her a hand. She strolled toward him, enjoying that for the first time this morning, it was Holden whose face held a tiny blush. She hoped that she came off as being even half as confident as she was trying to be. She’d been around plenty of people in her bathing suit before, but somehow with Holden, she felt more exposed than she ever had before. He unnerved her, and she wasn’t sure how much longer her body would be able to handle being around the most eligible guy she’d ever met.

  She pushed her negative thoughts away, telling herself to live in the moment, as she reached up and allowed Holden’s powerful hands to grasp hers. There was the same initial spark felt across her body, just like when his hand touched hers on the cafeteria table.

  She recovered from the new feeling by the time he spoke. “There’s a small part of the concrete you can push off of with your foot, and I’ll pull you up the rest.” She found the foothold in front of her right ankle.

  His hand seemed to engulf hers as they pushed and pulled in tandem, allowing Holden to pull her up onto the ledge with ease. That wasn’t so bad.

  “Can’t we just jump from here?” Her voice quivered slightly.

  He didn’t even indulge her with a response. Instead he kept a hold of her hand and began inching up the arch, pulling her softly behind him.

  They began to walk slowly up the arch in silence, Addison following behind. She shook her head in disbelief about what she was about to do. She’d never been afraid of heights but when they got to the top of the arch, her heart dropped.

  “Holden, I’m not sure about this,” she said, her voice shaking a bit as she took a small step closer to the edge of the concrete arch, looking over the water. Oh dear god.

  He stepped closer to her and followed her gaze down. “Addison I really don’t want to make you do something you don’t want to,” he began before he placed his hands on her shoulders turning her toward him. He looked her straight in the eyes as he continued, “But I swear, this will be one of the best moments you’ve ever experienced. You just have to trust me on this.”

  The combination of his assuring hands on her shoulders and the sincere look in his eyes sent goose bumps down her spine. He seemed so genuine and sweet, it almost melted her heart. She knew she didn’t want to disappoint him.

  “Alright,” she said quietly, “but I want to watch you go first.”

  His face lit up and he gave her shoulders one more reassuring squeeze before letting go and taking a few steps back from the ledge. His eyes locked with hers for a fleeting moment before he ran full speed and jumped off the bridge.

  AH!

  Addison let out an astonished laugh and quickly leaned over the edge in time to watch Holden’s body hit the water.

  He surfaced after a few moments, and let out an excited shout.

  “You have to do it, Addy! I’ll be down here waiting for you, the more you think about it the worse it seems,�
� he yelled encouragingly.

  Addison chose to stand on the edge of the arch. Holden took running start but Addison knew that fate would surely make her trip and eat it if she attempted his entry. She paused momentarily with her toes on the edge and took in the view of Austin that lay before her. There were hills covered with trees spread out in every direction. The sky was so blue and cloudless above her. It felt surreal to be standing on the edge of the arch, feeling independent from the hills around her and the roaring sounds of the cars above her head. She was by herself on that bridge. The wind whipped her blonde hair away from her face and she smiled reflexively. She could hear Holden’s encouragements from below, but in that instance, she knew she was jumping for herself, to experience the journey and to live in the moment for once in her life. She closed her eyes and took one final deep breath before glancing once more at the blue sky above her and jumping off the arch.

  She heard herself let out a wild scream as she rushed toward to water, the jump feeling both eternal and transient. She remembered to keep her legs glued together and only felt a slight sting on her heels as she hit the water.

  The height plunged her deep into the lake’s water and she took her time surfacing. Once she broke the surface, she inhaled deeply and began to laugh uncontrollably. The jump had been the most exhilarating thing she’d ever done and her body hadn’t quite registered that it was over; every sense seemed to be hyperaware.

  Holden swam toward her, laughing with her as if he understood every emotion she was feeling. He stopped a few inches away and they both treaded water, smiling but not saying a word. To speak would be to break the magic that they had both just experienced. Every sense in her body was being overwhelmed with signals and she could feel her heart attempting to leap out of her chest. As they continued treading, Holden’s eyes found her mouth and Addison realized she had drawn her lower lip between her teeth. It was as if her body registered what Holden’s next move might be before her brain had. She released her lip, praying that he would close the gap between them and give her the kiss she had longed for since first laying eyes on him.