Captain Awesome vs. Nacho Cheese Man

by Stan Kirby

  Eugene McGillicudy and Charlie Thomas Jones are best friends. They are also supersecret superheroes and members of the Sunnyview Superhero Squad—Captain Awesome and Nacho Cheese Man to the rescue!

  MI-Tee!

  But when Eugene and Charlie get into a fight, Captain Awesome is forced to wonder if Nacho Cheese Man might actually be a bad guy?

  Along the way Eugene learns an important lesson about friendship and what it really means to be a superhero.

  With easy-to-read language and illustrations on almost every page, the Captain Awesome chapter books are perfect for beginning readers.

  LITTLE SIMON

  Simon & Schuster, New York

  Cover design by Laura Roode

  Ages 5–7

  CaptainAwesomeBooks.com

  Meet the author and illustrator and get activities at

  KIDS.SimonandSchuster.com

  “Easily accessible and enormously appealing, particularly to readers who have recently graduated to chapter books . . . this kid is ‘MI-TEE!’”

  —Kirkus Reviews, starred review on

  Captain Awesome to the Rescue

  This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real locales are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  LITTLE SIMON An imprint of Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing Division 1230 www.SimonandSchuster.com Avenue of the Americas, New York, New York 10020 Copyright © 2012 by Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. LITTLE SIMON is a registered trademark of Simon & Schuster, Inc., and associated colophon is a trademark of Simon & Schuster, Inc. The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to book an event contact the Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau at 1-866-248-3049 or visit our website at www.simonspeakers.com. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Kirby, Stan. Captain Awesome vs. Nacho Cheese Man / by Stan Kirby; illustrated by George O’Connor. — 1st ed. p. cm. Summary: When second-grader Eugene’s favorite comic book goes missing, he blames his best friend Charlie even though he has no evidence. [1. Lost and found possessions—Fiction. 2. Comic books, strips, etc.—Fiction. 3. Best friends—Fiction. 4. Friendship—Fiction.] I. O’Connor, George, ill. II. Title. III. Title: Captain Awesome versus Nacho Cheese Man. PZ7. K633529Car 2012 [Fic]—dc23 2011014313

  ISBN 978-1-4424-3563-6 (pbk)

  ISBN 978-1-4424-4091-3 (hc)

  ISBN 978-1-4424-3564-3 (eBook)

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1: The Slobbering Power of Mr. Drools

  Chapter 2: Fighting Evil Is Messy

  Chapter 3: The Missing Comic Book Caper

  Chapter 4: Turbo Day

  Chapter 5: The Evilest Field Trip of All

  Chapter 6: Beware of the No-Good, Rotten, Gunky, Stink Egg, Monkey-Faced Potato, Evil Alien Robot Brain from Outer Space!

  Chapter 7: I Don’t Feel Like Dessert

  Chapter 8: Who’s the Bad Guy Now?

  Chapter 9: Something Better Than Pizza

  Chapter 10: The Stink of Friendship

  “By the super MI-TEE force of Captain Awesome and the canned cheese power of Nacho Cheese Man, I call this Sunnyview Superhero Squad tree house sleepover meeting to order.”

  THUMP!

  Eugene McGillicudy banged a wooden spoon against an empty shoebox. The Sunnyview Superhero Squad meeting had begun.

  Sunnyview? Superhero? Squad? That’s right! Eugene and his best friend Charlie Thomas Jones were not just ordinary students at Sunnyview Elementary. They also had super secret superhero identities. Eugene was Captain Awesome and Charlie was Nacho Cheese Man.

  Together, along with Captain Awesome’s hamster sidekick (and the class pet), Turbo, they formed the Sunnyview Superhero Squad to protect the universe from bad guys.

  “Hurry up,” Charlie said. “The brownies are waiting!”

  Brownies! Yum! The perfect superhero snack! thought Eugene. Evil doesn’t stand a chance against chocolate fudge.

  The first thing to do was to thank Eugene’s mom, Betsy, for the homemade brownies and milk that she brought to the tree house. The next order of business was to eat them!

  “Thanks, Mom,” Eugene said, his mouth stuffed full of brownie.

  “Thmph, Mmphs Mmmklldph,” Charlie mumbled, trying not to dribble any on his Super Dude T-shirt.

  “You’re welcome, Charlie . . . I think,” Eugene’s mom said. Having delivered her sweet superhero treats, she climbed back down the ladder. She knew that when it came to saving the world from the bad guys, it was always best for moms and dads to leave it to the experts: Captain Awesome and Nacho Cheese Man!

  The Sunnyview Superhero Squad had one mission: to stop the evily spread of evil in Sunnyview. Their one mission, however, had three parts.

  1. Be alert to evil.

  2. Find evil.

  3. Stop evil from eviling.

  “I think we should add part number four: Eat more brownies!” Charlie quickly stuffed another brownie into his mouth.

  “All those in favor of our mission—”

  Charlie raised his hand. “Ambd meefing mrr mrownees?”

  “Yes, Nacho Cheese Man. Including ‘Eat more brownies,’” Eugene replied. “Those in favor, say the super word of the day!”

  “MI-TEE!” Eugene and Charlie said at the same time. Even Turbo let out a little squeak.

  Eugene banged the wooden spoon against the shoe box again. THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! It was time for the Squad’s main non–evil-stopping activity (besides eating more brownies): reading the latest issue of Super Dude!

  “Issue number four hundred twenty-nine!” Charlie cheered.

  “Only the greatest thing since issue number four hundred twenty-eight!” Eugene declared.

  Each member of the Sunnyview Superhero Squad . . . Wait. What’s that you say? You’ve never heard of Super Dude? You’re not a member of FsssDsss, the Friends of Super Dude Society, like Eugene and Charlie? You don’t know about his TV show, toys, games, action figures, and more? Where do you live? The Moon?!

  Super Dude is only the most amazing superhero of all time. Just listen!

  Eugene opened the comic. “Page one: Super Dude’s archnemesis Trash Can’t was back in Super City. ‘I’m ready to crush Super Dude and trash his inner dudeness.’”

  “Whoa. This is going to be the greatest issue ever!” Eugene could barely wait to turn the page!

  And it was! Just when it looked like Super Dude would lose for sure and Trash Can’t would litter his evil garbageness across the world, Super Dude punched Trash Can’t right in the recycling bin and dumped him on the curb in time for trash day.

  Eugene turned the last page and closed the comic. He and Charlie sat in silence.

  “That was the greatest thing I’ve ever read,” Eugene finally said with a sigh, still in awe. “This is, without a doubt, my most favorite comic book . . . ever! No. Make that double-ever!”

  “Whoa. The only thing I’ve ever double-evered was peanut-butter-fudge nachos with marshmallows. You know, the tiny ones?” Charlie said.

  With the latest awesome issue of Super Dude completed, Eugene rubbed Turbo’s furry head. “Good night, buddy.”

  “Good night, Turbo,” Charlie said and clicked off his flashlight.

  Soon both heroes were fast asleep and the tree house was filled with the squeak of Turbo’s exercise wheel as it spun round and round.

  Then there was a BUMP! Eugene opened one sleepy eye.

  That’s pr
obably nothing.

  Then he heard it again. THUMP! His other eye snapped open.

  That’s something. My Captain Awesome Danger Sense is tingling!

  Something was in the yard. Eugene sat up in his sleeping bag and listened. RATTLE!

  Could it be?!

  “GRRRRR! ROWL! SNARL!”

  Yes, it was! His old furry enemy Mr. Drools had returned! Mr. Drools was the hairy four-legged monster from the Howling Paw Nebula whose drooly jaws loved to chomp everything Eugene held most dear.

  And worse, his evil Drool House was right next door to Eugene’s home. Mr. Drools had turned the once normal house into his own “barkyard.”

  He’s stolen three Frisbees, popped my soccer ball, eaten the cover off my baseball, and ripped up my kite like an old sock! What’s he after this time?! Eugene wondered. Then he realized something awful. . . . NOOOOOOOOO! NOT MY SUPER DUDE ISSUE No. 429!?

  Eugene jumped up without unzipping his sleeping bag. He hopped like the rare hopping caterpillars of Mothonia in Super Dude No. 97. He hopped on his flashlight, lost his balance, and fell to the wooden floor.

  Eugene crawled from his sleeping bag.

  Splinter!

  “Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!”

  Since superheroes can do anything, Eugene quickly pulled out the splinter. He felt around for his flashlight and clicked it on.

  This was a nighttime job for Captain Awesome and Nacho Cheese Man!

  “Wake up!” he whispered to Charlie. “Mr. Drools is in his barkyard next door!”

  Charlie shot out of his sleeping bag like he’d been stuck with a pin. He grabbed the emergency can of nacho cheese he kept under his pillow.

  Eugene placed Turbo into the Turbomobile. They would need the power of two heroes and one side-kick to stop the barking, slobbery madness of Mr. Drools.

  “Go chase your tail, Mr. Drools! You’ll never get my comic book!” Captain Awesome called down from the tree house. “Your slobber is useless on this night!”

  “I must warn you now . . .” Nacho Cheese Man called out. “I’ve got cheese!”

  The trio of heroes climbed down from their tree house moon base and onto the cold surface of the Moon. . . .

  “What a mess!” Charlie said as he stood in the middle of the Eugene’s backyard the next morning. He picked up a can of cheese and shook it. Empty.

  “That’s just one of the many problems with evil.” Eugene picked up an old banana peel and dropped it into the trash can. “It never picks up after itself.”

  Mr. Drools had gotten away. He escaped thanks to his Doggie Door of Droolness, but he’d return. The bad guys always do.

  Eugene’s mom smiled as the boys came into the house. “Here you go, boys. Super Dude-O’s, the breakfast of the world’s greatest superhero.”

  In many ways Eugene’s mom was a hero too. She didn’t wear a cape or fight evil, but her ongoing battle against cavities, late homework, and tantrums was almost as important as saving the world. Almost. Plus she always whipped up awesome breakfasts to make Eugene superhero strong.

  The two boys ate faster than Sir Snacksalot who once challenged Super Dude to an eating contest. Super Dude won by eating fried okra.

  After breakfast Charlie headed to his house down the street, and Eugene returned to his backyard. The moment he turned the corner, his nose was instantly filled with the stinky stink of stink!

  “YUCK! THE STINKY STINK OF STINK!” Eugene gasped. “GROSS!” Eugene held his nose.

  Eugene didn’t have to smell another stink bomb to know what was up.

  It was Queen Stinkypants from Planet Baby! Her Dangerous Diaper of Doom was packed with stinky diaper awfulness.

  “Gaa-baa-boo,” she said in her alien baby language as she waddled across Eugene’s backyard.

  She hasn’t seen me yet, Eugene thought.

  Eugene knew she was up to something. Queen Stinkypants was always up to something.

  She walked, fell, crawled, and waddled to the gate. So! She was the one who opened the secret passageway from Mr. Drools’s barkyard to the surface of the Moon. She wanted Mr. Drools to return for the Super Dude comic he didn’t get last night.

  “Well, not today! Not tonight! Never again, and never ever!” Eugene called out in his awesome Captain Awesome voice.

  Eugene ripped off his shirt and revealed . . . that he’d forgotten to put on his Captain Awesome outfit underneath. Brrrr! Cold!

  Eugene ran inside the house and grabbed his outfit from the laundry. “Gotta have it, Mom! Danger is all around me! Stinky danger!”

  “Danger smells?” his mother asked, smiling.

  “It does when it’s stinky!” Eugene changed on the run. That meant he crashed into a hall door—OUCH!—bounced off a wall—OOF!—and then slid across the kitchen floor on his stomach.

  WHEE!

  Eugene flung open the screen door.

  “Stop, villain!”

  Queen Stinkypants turned to face him. “Glyxl?” she threatened.

  Captain Awesome did an awesome jump onto the surface of the Moon. MI-TEE!

  “Stop your eviling and please . . . take a bath!”

  “Mom! Have you seen it?” Eugene screeched down the stairs.

  “Seen what, dear?”

  What? How could she not know the “what” I’m talking about? It’s only the most important thing in forever!

  Eugene was shocked. Was his mother not aware of Super Dude? Did she not see the posters, the DVDs, the collectible action figures on her son’s dresser?

  Eugene’s bestest, favoritist comic book in his whole collection was not in its special hiding spot in the box under his bed.

  It was gone.

  Super Dude No. 429 was missing!

  Did Mr. Drools sneak into Eugene’s room, take Super Dude No. 429 in his giant paws of evil, and run away with it?

  Panic began to hit Eugene. The thought was too horrible to imagine! All that drool all over Super Dude!

  “And I double-evered that issue!”

  He checked his bedroom floor. No muddy footprints. No bite marks on the door. No fleas hopping about on Eugene’s pillow. No sign that Mr. Drools had made it inside Captain Awesome’s secret headquarters.

  But the comic book was gone. And someone had taken it. No one had been in his room except . . .

  Aw, BARF! I showed my comic to Charlie when we were in the tree house. But no member of the Sunnyview Superhero Squad would do anything bad . . . right?

  Right?

  Eugene slumped. He missed his comic book so much he was even thinking his best friend took it. That was the worst thought he had ever had . . . except for the one about the drool being all over Super Dude.

  “Turbo! Turbo! Turbo!”

  The class chanted the name of their pet hamster. It was Thursday and that meant it was Turbo Day. As Turbo’s caretaker, Eugene made sure to get him to school early.

  In Ms. Beasley’s second-grade classroom, Turbo Day meant a celebration of everything Turbo.

  You only need two things to have Turbo Day:

  1) Turbo

  2) A Day

  If there’s one thing that would cheer up Eugene, it was Turbo Day. And it would give him a chance to check Charlie’s cubby for the missing comic book.

  Y’know. Just in case.

  “Turbo! Turbo! Turbo! Who’s the hamster on the go? It’s Turbo!” The class sang a special cheer written just for Turbo.

  The class was distracted by Turbo’s cuteness and good hamster manners. Now was Eugene’s chance! He wandered to the back of the room. No one was looking.

  Eugene quickly looked in Charlie’s cubby.

  Eugene shook Charlie’s backpack.

  He even flipped through Charlie’s history book.

  No Super Dude comic. But he did find a few half-empty cans of cheese.

  If Charlie was the thief, he was more clever than Commander Nylon, who kept stealing Super Dude’s socks while he was sleeping and used them to stitch a humongous sock monster.

 
Eugene snuck back to the circle just in time for the Turbo game. Turbo rolled around the floor in his plastic ball showing off his athletic skills.

  Awesome. Look at him go! What a good little sidekick! Eugene proudly thought.

  The class squealed and cheered with delight. Turbo Day was a success!

  “Turbo Force . . . now!” Eugene called out to Turbo.

  Everyone will be impressed when Turbo rolls right to me just like he always does. Eugene smiled at the thought.

  Turbo rolled . . . and rolled . . . and rolled past Eugene.

  Right.

  Past.

  Eugene.

  WHAT?! Where’s he going?

  Turbo rolled to . . .

  Charlie? GAHHH! This is worse than the time that Super Squirrel bit Super Dude’s super finger when Super Dude fed him that Super Acorn from the Super Oak Tree!

  “Charlie?” Eugene called out. “Why did Turbo roll right to you?”

  Charlie shrugged. “I don’t know, but that was cool, huh?” Charlie patted the top of the hamster ball and carried it over to Turbo’s cage.

  What’s going on here? My favorite comic book in forever is missing and now my faithful sidekick has Turbo Forced to somebody else?

  Eugene quickly looked around the classroom to see if anyone was using a mind-control hat. There could be no other explanation. But there was no one with a mind-control hat. Eugene realized there must be another explanation.

  There must be. . . .

  “Okay, everyone,” Ms. Beasley called out. “Let’s get moving!”