Ignite (The Disciples Book 4)

by Cassandra Robbins

  “I’d tell you to go apologize, but I don’t trust you.” He inhales and exhales like he’s trying to get ahold of his temper, which is good because when he loses it, he’s a crazy motherfucker and I’m not in the mood.

  “Get out of my face, Rip.” My eyes zero in on his. “I’m dead serious. You need to back up.” He crosses his arms, but he does take a step back.

  “This is not rocket science.” I motion to the monitor and the phone. “She’s stoned and can’t remember the codes. That’s unacceptable,” I spit out. “The whole fucking reason I’ve been doing all this is so we don’t get robbed. Our managers need to know how the security system works.”

  I look at the clock hanging over his head. “Go get her,” I grit out. “I’m meeting with Bullseye in an hour.”

  “Just go, Axel. I’ll take care of this.” He snorts and pulls out his phone.

  My head is pounding from lack of sleep and too much tequila last night. I need a shower and to fuck. This has been the longest I’ve ever gone without pussy since I was in Afghanistan. There’s one problem though. My dick seems to have decided that it only wants my violet-eyed enchantress. I would panic, but I’m too fucking tired to deal with it. This crap with Jewel and Rip is not helping my humor.

  “You really going to defend her?” I toss the phone on the desk in the corner.

  “Defend what? She asked a question and you jumped down her throat and then she got flustered. She’s the best at taking care of our plants, so give her a break.” He motions at the hundreds of plants, row after row of his particular blend looking healthy and green.

  Running a hand through his blond hair, he goes on. “Look, I haven’t said anything to you all week, and trust me, I wanted to. But this is business. I’m not gonna let you ruin what we’ve built all because you can’t admit to yourself that you might have feelings for a woman.” He sneers as he heads toward the door.

  “Rip, you’re talking out of your ass. Our employees are more interested in sampling the supply than protecting themselves and our money,” I yell after him.

  He turns, disgust written all over his face. “We’ve beefed up the security. Christ, half of our brothers in Hemet are working double time to get this crop in and safe. Everyone knows what’s at stake, so you yelling at Jewel because you’re pissed that you don’t want to fuck her anymore is pathetic and juvenile.” He spits out the last part.

  “That has nothing to do with this.” My eyes narrow and I reach for my cigarettes.

  “Axel, you’re acting like I’m the enemy. I’m not. I want you to be happy. And if that means me having to point out that you want to be with Antoinette, then I guess I’ll do it for the greater good.”

  I blink at him. He has fucking balls, I’ll give him that. “You’re high, Rip. I left to get away from her.”

  “Exactly.”

  He walks back over to me, his anger gone. He looks more confused, almost baffled, which makes me uncomfortable. I don’t want to hear any of his philosophies right now. Christ, I wish he’d hit me. Anything but this shit.

  “You’ve seriously never had this happen, have you? Holy fuck, man.” He raises his hands as though asking for God to help him.

  I light up and take a drag, preparing to justify myself. But what am I gonna say? He’s right. I’ve been in a shit mood because I can’t accept that I would rather be in LA with Antoinette than doing this. Honestly, I’m counting down the minutes until I can get on my bike and head back. I hate it. It makes me feel off, unsure. That is unacceptable for me. My job is to always be sure. No hesitation, no strings, only the ability to do what needs to be done without having to worry.

  When I told her I was leaving, she raised her nose in the air. But her fucking eyes, those eyes that show me everything. Her vulnerability bleeds out of them calling to me, making me do things like stay away much longer than needed.

  The last thing I saw was her putting on her ragged ballet shoes, proud and beautiful. I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to throw her against the wall and kiss her, fuck her.

  Instead I left.

  Because I’m Axel, and Axel doesn’t have these types of feelings. The road was supposed to make me remember that.

  It didn’t.

  If anything, I might be in worse shape than when I left. Because everything I used to crave on the road was back in my room with blond hair and a beauty mark that makes me want to lick it.

  I don’t want any other mouth. Her candy-flavored lips are all I need, along with her cunt, which tastes like honey.

  “Fuck.” I look over at the fluorescent lights as I say the truth and shake my head.

  “I’m obsessed, Rip.”

  He nods. “No shit. You’re finally seeing the light.” He laughs but it’s strained, almost as if he feels sorry for me on more than one level.

  “You should have said something earlier,” I grumble as I rub the back of my neck and let my lungs fill with smoke and nicotine.

  “What was I gonna say… I knew she was gonna be your downfall the first moment you saw her shake her ass to Flashdance?”

  “Fuck you. You said she was gonna be yours,” I say through gritted teeth, getting pissed at the memory of that day.

  The day that changed it all.

  He smirks and looks down at his phone. “Nah, I knew she was all yours.”

  I’m about to argue, but I do have to get on the road, and who knows how long it’s gonna take for me to eat shit to Jewel.

  “I’ve got to go meet Bullseye. Don’t worry. I’ll make it right with Bambi.” I grab the keys to my bike and sunglasses and bang out the steel doors.

  Jewel leans against the concrete warehouse, smoking and looking lost. Great. I’ve had my fill of drama already, but I do owe her more than that. We’ve been fuck buddies for years. I call her my little hippie chick since she loves all things to do with the sixties and seventies.

  Like right now, she looks like a cross between Stevie Nicks with the flowers in her hair and gypsy clothes and John Lennon with the glasses.

  I have no idea if this fucking obsession with Antoinette is gonna last, but I do know I’m not sleeping with Jewel, and I need her to understand that it’s me, not her.

  Flicking my cigarette on the asphalt, I gaze up at the sky. It’s getting dark. As she starts to cry, I smile at her, grab her, and kiss the top of her head.

  “Ah Jewel, I’m sorry. I’m an ass.”

  She clings to me. I’m almost startled at how different she feels in my arms. Her smell is wrong; her skin is missing Antoinette’s softness. Her eyes are brown when all I want to see is violet blue.

  “I just want to make you happy, Axel. I don’t understand what’s happened this time. You didn’t even fuck me.”

  Her hands roam and for a split second, I’m torn. It would be easy to fuck her. It’s what she wants. Make her happy and ride out of town. She rubs my cock through my jeans. I look down at her and grab her hands.

  “Please, Axel.” She sniffs, and instead of smelling vanilla and citrus, I smell patchouli. But that’s not what makes me pull away. It’s that I don’t want her. I could fuck her because I feel sorry for her, but I have way too much respect for either one of us to do that.

  “We’re a great team, and you’re my friend. I respect you and want to keep it that way.”

  She goes to open her mouth. I know she’s gonna beg so I stop her. “No, Jewel. You need to hear me. This is me not you.”

  She blinks then frowns, confusion all over her face. “Did you meet someone? I don’t understand.”

  And I’m done. I’m late and this is going nowhere.

  “Go inside and let Rip teach you the security system.” I kiss her forehead and turn toward my bike.

  One more night. I close my eyes. One more night, and I’ll be back to my obsession and my downfall.

  ANTOINETTE

  I hate him. And every day that he stays gone and doesn’t call, I hate him more. He left me. Without even a backward glance. Went out the door and t
here’s been no word for eight days.

  Eight days.

  I’m living in a clubhouse surrounded by bikers. Thank goodness for Amy—otherwise I’d be the only woman in the place. Well, there are plenty of women at the clubhouse, but none who live there.

  I twirl my finger around a soft strand of hair that Doug cut earlier, which is how all of us ended up at Blade and Eve’s house.

  Eve and Cindy dragged Charlie and me out to get our hair cut. Apparently they do this a lot with Charlie. Otherwise, she forgets.

  God, not even a phone call? My mind drifts back to him rather than to the smell of the pizza that arrived a few minutes ago. Blade brought it in, kissed Eve, and took a box outside to his amazing patio. I guess that’s his man cave since he seems to be watching a bunch of TVs bolted to the wall.

  I shouldn’t care that Axel might very well be done with me, but I do. To be honest, I miss him. My emotions are all over the place. One minute I hate him, the next I want to cry because I’m worried I might have fallen for the fucking jerk and that would be a disaster.

  “Antoinette? Are you listening to any of this?” Cindy slaps my leg, almost making me spill one of the margaritas Eve made us.

  “Yes, I like meat,” I answer automatically, hoping that was the question since they were talking about what we want on the pizzas. The living room explodes with laughter as Doug reaches over to pull me onto his lap.

  I squeal but let him, or else I will spill my drink. “I bet you do.” He

  waggles his eyebrows.

  In a matter of a week, it’s as though I’ve found my tribe. My first impression of Cindy being crazy was true, but I love her. Charlie’s like a big sister, and Eve… well, Eve is my hero, the woman I aspire to be.

  Then there’s Doug. I guess you could say I connected with him instantly. He gets me. No questions, no judgment, only acceptance. For the first time ever, I have friends.

  If I wasn’t so unsure about how Axel feels about me, I’d be kind of happy.

  “Eve, say it again.” Doug snuggles into my neck. He’s affectionate like Axel, and for someone who grew up with very little tenderness, I love it.

  Laughing, Eve stands and holds up a finger as she downs the rest of her margarita.

  “How many has she had?” Doug chuckles as Charlie mouths three and rolls her eyes.

  “Shhh.” She waves her hands then swings her hair back and looks at me. “I want you to teach me how to strip!”

  Cindy jumps up, her huge boobs almost falling out of her tank top as they both hold hands and laugh. “Me too and Charlie,” she squeals and points at Charlie who sits sipping her margarita.

  “I do not want to know how to str—”

  “Don’t listen to Charlie.” Eve waves her hand.

  I take a sip of the frosty, sour yumminess and hop off Doug’s lap, setting the glass on the coffee table.

  “Okay.” I hold up my hands to calm everyone. “The thing is, I never got to learn much because Axel took me off the stage… But first—”

  “Hold on.” Eve reaches for my arm as she looks at me. “He did what?”

  “Yeah, my first night at the Pussycat he dragged me off the stage.” I wave my hand and laugh at the look on their faces. “You guys didn’t know that?”

  “No, someone who said she knew everything told me otherwise.” Eve’s big eyes swing to Cindy.

  “How was I supposed to know that?” She rolls her eyes. “Come on, seriously?”

  Eve holds up her hand. “Stop.” She shakes her head. “Teach me something. I want to surprise Jason tonight.”

  “Oh God, please don’t do it.” Charlie closes her eyes and looks at Eve. “Sorry. But let’s be honest. Do you honestly think that’s a good idea?” She cocks her head at her.

  “Yes, I think it’s a good idea.” Eve mimics her. “And get up—you’re learning too. David can thank me tomorrow at the party.” She pulls a reluctant Charlie to her feet.

  “Okay, we’re ready.” She reaches for the rubber band around her wrist to put her hair up in a messy bun.

  Grabbing my margarita, I take a quick sip. Doug extends his arms across the top of the cushions, a huge smile on his face as he motions for us to begin.

  I laugh, feeling the wonderful buzz of tequila. “We need music,” I announce.

  “On it.” Eve sashays over to a huge, ornate buffet and throws it open. “How about…?”

  “‘Pour Some Sugar on Me.’ That’s what they all strip to.” Cindy snaps her fingers and straightens her tank top.

  Eve looks at me like I’m an expert and I nod. “She’s right. They do like that song.”

  “‘Pour Some Sugar on Me’ it is.” Eve bops her head as the music blasts on. The baby monitor on the coffee table lights up as Nicole protests.

  “Shh,” we all say and devolve into laughter as Blade comes in frowning.

  “What the hell is going on in here? Are you trying to wake the kids?” He looks at all of us and settles on Eve who stumbles over to him and throws her arms around his neck.

  “It’s a surprise for you.” He arches a brow and shakes his head, unable to not smile at her.

  Holy shit, he worships her. For a second, I rudely stare at them. I’d give anything to have Axel look at me like that.

  He kisses her and unwraps her arms. “I’ll go take care of the kids, so you can have fun with your friends, Angel.”

  She gets on her tiptoes and whispers something in his ear and I think he growls.

  “God, really?” Cindy whines. “I thought we were gonna learn to strip.” She reaches for her empty glass.

  That snaps Eve out of it. “Oh my God.” She glides out of his arms and shoos him away. He laughs and walks down the hallway.

  “Okay, let’s do it! Make it nasty, Antionette.” She winks at me.

  “Um, I’ll do my best.” I stretch, feeling the adrenaline rush at the thought of dancing.

  “So, we don’t have a pole, but I’ll show you guys some simple moves.” I bite my lip. “I mean, simple like—”

  Charlie laughs. “Just get on with it. David’s on his way over to pick us up.”

  “Nooo, not yet.” Eve frowns.

  I laugh. “Okay, follow me.” I put my hands on my knees and sway as I throw my head back and let the music take over. Closing my eyes, I see him: tall, dark, and dangerous. His full lips and sapphire eyes make me instinctively rise up on my toes. And then I’m gone, no longer teaching, letting the music take over as I dance for him.

  “She lost me. I can’t do that.” Cindy’s voice is like a bucket of ice water and I stop, almost sad that she’s ruined my daydream of Axel looking at me the way Blade looks at Eve.

  “Sorry.” I turn and catch my breath. Eve and Charlie stare at me like I’m a magnificent piece of art while Cindy flops down on the couch with Doug.

  “I think I pulled a muscle.” She reaches for my glass and starts drinking.

  “I had no idea you’re like a real—” Eve waves her hand as if she’s looking for the word.

  “Ballerina?” Charlie helps.

  “Yes.” She gestures at Charlie.

  “Antoinette.” I jump, my hand going to my chest as I spin toward Blade who stands in the doorway.

  “I want to talk to you.” His green eyes are like lasers, and I look at the others for help.

  “Jason, leave her alone.” Eve loops her arm with mine. In an instant, I’m cold. I don’t like this. Blade is the president. What he says goes.

  “Angel, this doesn’t concern you.” He pins his eyes on me. “Antoinette?” He motions for me to follow him into the kitchen.

  “Great. I wanted her to teach me some more—” The doorbell rings.

  “That’s David.” Charlie grabs Eve’s arm and drags her toward the door. I watch them laugh and whisper as I look over at the kitchen. Perfect, I guess I’m on my own with Blade.

  “I’ll be right back,” I hiss at Doug and Cindy who stop laughing to look at me.

  I guess they’re not co
ncerned, so I assume I’m safe. It’s times like this when the reality of living with a real live biker slaps me in the face. Granted he’s a fucking hot biker, but he’s still a biker.

  I walk into the kitchen that’s all cherrywood with stainless-steel appliances. The view alone must have cost him a fortune.

  Blade leans against the counter. He’s tall and handsome if you like blond Greek gods. I definitely can tell David is his cousin.

  “So. Where are you from?”

  As my mind races and I search for something to say, I blink at him. There’s no way I can tell him the truth, so I stay mute.

  David, Charlie, and Eve pass by on their way to the living area, their voices breaking the silence. “Nothing? You’re from nowhere?” he sneers.

  “New York,” I automatically respond.

  He nods and waits for more while I stand there, saying nothing. His eyes take in my appearance, stopping to focus on my feet, which are always in first position.

  “Look, I’m gonna be honest. Axel is my brother. I’ve known him for twenty years. Nothing would make me happier than for him to find someone. But a ballerina with no past who wanders into his strip club makes me pause. You understand?”

  God, he makes me sound way more interesting than I am—also way more ominous.

  “I’m a dancer who needed cash since my shitty ex-friend slash roommate fucked me over. I heard that exotic dancers make a lot of money and I needed cash fast, simple as that.” I raise my head, my eyes challenging him to say I’m lying. He doesn’t.

  He doesn’t say anything. Only nods and picks up his phone and starts texting. I’m assuming that’s my cue to leave, and I have to fight the urge not to curtsey.

  What is wrong with me? It has to be the margaritas. I turn and start toward the loud voices, knowing that all this is truly happening. It’s not a movie. I’m getting in deep, but the thought of getting out is not an option because I want Axel badly.

  AXEL

  I’m back. Unfortunately, not in my room fucking Antoinette. No, I’m standing with a bottle of Jack Daniels looking at a bunch of monitors, listening to Frosty drone on and on.