“You okay?” I blink up at Ox’s stony eyes. He seems uncomfortable, as if he wants to help yet doesn’t know how.
“Antoinette?” My eyes snap to Blade who is barking orders over his shoulder. He takes in my face and lifts my chin to examine my neck. “Does this hurt?”
I shake my head, not even understanding what he’s asking. Maybe I’m in shock because I’m rather calm despite what’s happened.
“Ox, get me your bottle of Jack. Let’s get some color in her face.”
“Axel,” I croak as if the ice has thawed in my body and I can move again. “I need to help.” I turn, but Blade stops me.
“You can’t go in, Antoinette.” His green eyes hold compassion but no mercy.
I try to pull away hissing, “He needs me.”
“Axel’s a big boy.” Ox hands me a small bottle of Jack Daniels.
“Wait. What’s happening?” Because holy fuck, Blade is forcing a bottle of whiskey on me.
“Drink,” he demands. I jump then take a sip. Not like I have a choice since he’s holding it to my lips. My stomach roils and I almost throw up.
“Another,” he says, his voice firm.
“Wait.” I swallow, trying not to gag. “Blade, I’m not feeling well at all.” I hold up my hand when he lifts the bottle up again. The smell of the spicy alcohol makes my eyes and mouth water. He stops and assesses my face as if I’m a puzzle and he’s figured out the missing piece.
“Christ.” He rubs my back like I’m a child.
“Let’s get you in the shade.” I kind of cling to him as he moves us under a tree. I don’t feel well. It’s so bad I can’t even complain that he’s moving me farther away from helping Axel.
Edge walks over frowning, handing Blade a cigarette. “Is she okay? Do we need Hilary?”
“Will this bother you?” He holds up the cigarette. Edge looks at Blade.
“I’m sorry.” I reach for Blade’s arm because he’s the closest and the sick sensation in my stomach is horrible.
“Just breathe. Try to relax. This has been a lot of excitement.” His voice is calm as if he’s said these words many times. I nod, horrified because I’m losing the battle and gagging.
“Oh shit,” Edge says.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Leaning over, I puke.
AXEL
“Get rid of him.” I toss the keys to Ox. “His house and whatever else.”
He nods as he hands me a cigarette. I light up and look around at the deserted alley and parking lot. It’s late, already dark.
“Christ, that took longer than expected.”
“Fucking piece of shit. I only wish I could have done it.” Ox exhales, the smoke coming out of his nose. He’s not joking. Ox is a master at getting the truth out of the most reluctant victim. Nothing bothers him. He can slice a man’s throat and sleep like a baby.
Edge walks over. Trying to calm my mind, I gaze up at the stars. The adrenaline of shoving Benny in the fryer still pumps through my blood. He was nothing but an insane, lying junkie. He never saw Antoinette dance. He stalked her because he knew that she was mine.
Mine.
I look at him and then over his shoulder to see Rip and Fosters across the street on watch.
“Antoinette?”
“Blade took her home. She wasn’t feeling good.” His voice is matter-of-fact, causing me to raise an eyebrow.
“What’s wrong?”
Fear. It’s like an unwanted friend that you can’t shake as much as you try. I just killed the man who has plagued the club for years. So, why do I feel as though I need to prepare for more?
“Nothing.” Edge’s cigarette glows in the darkened lot. “She’s tired, that’s all. It’s not easy being your old lady.” His meaning is clear.
I stare at him. “Well, then I guess it’s good she’s not. I hate to make her something she can’t handle.” I toss my cigarette and head toward my bike.
“Should have thought of that earlier, brother,” he yells at my back. I stop and turn. He knows something or wants to gloat. Usually I’d punch his sanctimonious face, but I’m fucking drained. All I want is a shower and Antoinette.
“What’s your deal, Edge? I’m tired. You got something to say, fucking spit it out.”
He takes a deep drag and smiles. “You go get some rest. We can talk tomorrow.” Turning, he walks toward the back of the kitchen.
“Fucking dick.” I get my keys and start my bike. It’s rush hour, so I avoid the freeway. It seems like every idiot in Southern California is on the streets. By the time I pull into the compound, my head is pounding.
A few prospects play pool. The rest of the game room is empty save for Amy sitting on one of the couches with her tea and a romance novel. She looks up from her book then removes her glasses and says, “I’ll send up dinner.”
“Thank you.” Taking the stairs two at a time, I can’t understand this need to be close to her, care for her. But tonight, with everything that’s happened, I’m not even gonna fight my need.
Unlocking my door, I open it to a dark room. I let my eyes adjust. Her pale hair against the pillow is all I can see with the blackout shades drawn.
“Axel?” Her voice is raspy.
I love her like this. I want to slide in and hold her, let her warm, sleepy body make my racing brain rest. Just stop thinking… and lose myself in her.
“Yeah, baby, it’s me. I need a shower.” I stand over her as she turns in the bed and I can’t help but smile at her. She’s sleeping in my Dicks T-shirt.
“You okay?” She reaches for my hand. Her creamy, delicate one holds my tan, tattooed hand. And automatically, I want to tell her the truth.
I don’t want her to go. Somehow Antoinette has become the one person I need. I love coming home to my room knowing she’s waiting or seeing her smile when I pick her up from work on my bike.
We’ve built a life in this room and I don’t want to let it go. I sigh and release her hand.
“I need a shower. Amy’s dropping off some dinner.” I toss my cut in the corner. “Can you give my cut to Amy? She knows how to clean it,” I say as I enter the bathroom. The piece of shit junkie struggled hard at the end. Hence, Charlie needs a new fryer.
“I’ll take care of it,” she says.
I stop.
I’ll take care of it. I don’t know how many times I’ve said it to her. But this is the first time in my life someone has ever said that to me.
I turn on the shower. My muscles ache, my hands and shoulders are on fire, and my head is pounding. I need the water to scorch my neck and back. Turning, I let my front take the sting as I soap up, washing away the filth that was Benny. It’s been a long time since I’ve been around a truly evil person and it’s a rare occurrence. Most of us have a good and a bad side. At different times in our lives, one emotion can rule more than the other.
But Benny… he was absolutely evil. A bad seed.
He should have been dead the day he sold Eve and killed Pauly. He got away and poor Doc and Sandy paid the price. It takes a lot to surprise me. But the confessions he made were so horrendous that I feel contaminated. As if hearing his truth has made me lose my faith in humanity.
Fuck only knows how many bodies we’ll find at his houses. If he’s to be believed, he had many because he traveled all over, stalking, raping, stealing, and killing.
Antoinette was his next prey. He wanted her. I almost punch my tiled wall, but I force myself to breathe in the steam so as to let it go.
Evil.
I put him down, and my only regret is that he lived as long as he did. I turn the faucets off as I step out.
Antoinette.
My radiant obsession. Swinging the door open, I go to find her, needing her more than I’ve needed anything in all my life.
I need her to take it all away, bring me back from this pit of darkness so that I can still believe. Still get up and look at my godson, James Dean, and feel hope for his future. I need her kindness, innocence, her fu
cking empathy that still shines bright in her eyes.
I need all of her tonight as I walk into the other room. The smell of food barely registers as I watch my princess. Because tonight I’m too raw to lie.
She stands with one leg propped on the counter as she gracefully leans over, hands on top of her head.
Exquisite.
This is the moment that I stop fighting it. Tonight I surrender. I breathe out as she looks at me.
Time stops.
Her violet eyes find mine and she slowly straightens. She’ll never be more beautiful than she is at this very moment.
My moment.
“I need you,” I say.
Her eyes find mine, and her love spills out of them. It’s pure and real. She lowers her leg and takes my Dicks shirt off. With her head held high, she walks naked to me. Her tits that look full and ripe stand proud as her hips sway. And that fucking beauty mark just does it for me.
I jerk her into my arms and a small gasp comes from her lips. Burying my nose in her hair, I breathe in her scent, letting her smell, her softness, remove all my sins.
“Mine. I need you,” I hiss as I lift her chin.
“Yes,” she whispers. I take her lips in a deep kiss that makes the world fade away.
Good and bad.
Ecstasy and agony.
Both ignite the fire, both are intertwined, and tonight I need her flame. I lift her up and bring her to the bed where we fall together. My hands take hers, lacing them on top of her head. Kissing her, it’s as though I’m possessed. Her mouth tastes like candy; her tongue twists with mine.
“I need you.” I lift my head.
“I’m yours, Axel.” She arches her back, and I kiss her neck, trailing down to her fucking tits. Latching on, I suck while she reaches for my hair, gasping as if those nipples are sensitive. My cock jerks and starts to drip.
Letting go of her hands, I lick my way down to her belly button as she arches her back and moans my name.
Then I spread her legs and like a man starved, I lick and suck her honey. Reaching down, I stroke my cock as I fucking eat her wet pussy. Her hands drop to clutch the sheet as she starts to pulse.
“Axel… I love it,” she whimpers. Letting go of my cock, I pull her deeper into my mouth. There’s nothing more amazing than watching her face while my tongue makes her come.
She jerks and freezes. Her face is flushed, lips puffy and red. Her neck is long and arched. I reach up and squeeze a nipple, causing her to come again as she pulses and contracts in my mouth.
Not bothering to wipe off her juices, I lift my head and take her mouth, thrusting my throbbing cock inside her hot walls.
“Fuck yeah, baby, you feel so good.” Her scent and cum fill our mouths as we kiss and I tell her how beautiful and good she tastes. She moans loudly. As my hips pick up speed, I take her hands once more.
“I’m going to come again,” she screams.
“Such a good girl.” We kiss again and I fuck her till she contracts on my cock. She’s so tight her cunt milks the orgasm right out of me. And as much as I never want this to end, I’m fucking soaring, coming so hard it vibrates throughout my entire body.
“Fuck, Antoinette.” I keep thrusting and watching her face as she comes undone. Her eyes stay locked with mine, and I see my future.
Ecstasy and agony. Both ignite the fire; both are intertwined.
She reaches for my lips as our breathing calms.
“I love you,” she says into my mouth. I kiss her, swallowing those words to keep with me always.
ANTOINETTE
“Cookie.” I smell his clean scent and roll over to snuggle my nose in his neck. Only my hand is met with nothing but a cold pillow.
“I’ll be back later.” I blink my eyes open. It’s definitely morning because he’s opened the curtains and the morning light is spilling in.
“You’re tired. Go back to sleep.” He kisses my lips and I wrap my arms around his neck.
“You’re always leaving. I don’t think you get enough sleep.” I nuzzle my nose into his neck. It’s true. We were up all night making love.
“Trust me, nothing would make me happier than to climb back in with you, but I have to take care of a lot of things today.”
He stands and my heart thuds. He’s dressed in dark jeans and a white shirt rolled up at the sleeve. His face is clean-shaven. One look at his sapphire eyes with those eyelashes, and I’m suddenly lightheaded.
“What’s happened?” No doubt I sound crazy… even to myself. I lean up on my elbows, still admiring his beauty.
“You’re gorgeous.” My cheeks instantly feel like someone has thrown hot coffee in my face.
He grins and rubs my lips. “I have to talk to the FBI. It always throws them off when I show up like this.” His full lips that make me moan smirk and he reaches for his cigarettes and phone.
“Now, Antoinette, the diner is closed due to kitchen repairs. You are not allowed to leave without me and only me.” He looks down at me and I collapse back onto the pillow.
As I look around his spotless, perfectly organized room, I take a deep breath and exhale. “I thought you got the bad guy.” It’s only dawning on me now that there might always be a bad guy.
Nodding, he says, “I did,” and turns toward the door.
“Axel?” I sit up, wrapping my hands around my knees. “About last night.”
He walks back to me and his warm hand reaches for my chin. “Thank you for that. I needed to lose myself and you were there for me.”
I’m not quite sure how to take that. I know it’s stupid to think he’ll burst out in song, calling me his and saying he loves me. But I also didn’t think he would thank me. Like I’m… what, a whore? A good friend? I fucking told him everything last night. Stuff about my dad and the days before he ruined our lives. My mom, my life, ballet, all of it. I was open and then he kissed me, loved me, and I knew that this was it.
Again and again, I told him I loved him. He never said it, but his lips and body did.
“Go back to sleep.” He caresses my cheek, and suddenly I’m self-conscious.
Axel is truly beautiful. He’s rugged and the scruff, clothes, and tattoos help hide his classically handsome face. But looking at him right now as he puts on sunglasses… I want to grab him and beg him to let me go with him. Someone will to try to steal him from me. He can have anyone. Why would he want me? I’m twenty. Pretty much broke. My eyes and lips are too big, and my breasts are too small. Although lately they do look a little fuller. Maybe I need to gain some weight, get more curves.
“Be careful… and I love you,” I croak out.
He looks at me—at least I think he does. The sunglasses are so dark I can’t see his eyes. “Go back to sleep.” Then he walks out, closing the door quietly behind him. I blink at the sunny room. I should get up and shut the curtains, but who cares.
He doesn’t love me. He likes me. I didn’t have to see his eyes when I said “I love you” to feel the distance he put up. I turn to my side and stare at his guitars hanging on the wall. There are so many of all kinds and colors. For a guy who favors black, his guitars are colorful: red, silver, blue, and maybe even a purple one in the other room.
He left his band to be in this club. He’s that loyal. My eyes blur as I stare at the guitars. I’m not angry or hating him. He needed me, and I was there. Maybe it’s time I listen to him, rather than hearing what I want to hear. He’s been telling me from day one not to get attached, but I thought differently.
I thought if I loved him, then he must love me back, and that’s not the way it works.
I sit up and rub my forehead. I’m still not on my game as I go to the bathroom looking for Advil. I need to get some more birth control pills, but if I’m leaving, what’s the point?
Reaching for my pack, I look at the back, trying to read the label. Bella and I found this tiny place two years ago selling bags of them cheap. We both got a year’s supply for twenty bucks I think. That was in Hollywood. I’m
in Burbank with no car. The pills have nothing but the label and the expiration date.
I stare at it. Wait, that can’t be right. Flipping on the light, I sit on the edge of the sink so I can see the expiration date better.
2013
Dread hits my empty stomach. Maybe I’m reading it wrong. Maybe the real date’s worn off over time. I need to think, maybe breathe, because I’m panicking. This can’t be right, and even if they are years old, does that matter?
It’s fine. I’m being dramatic. Pills that expire still work. It’s only a suggested date.
I rush to the bed again and grab my phone, asking Siri. Her voice comes back with “Here is what I’ve found on the web.”
I glance through a bunch of articles that say expired pills should be thrown away, but most are fine years later.
“Oh, thank God.” Clutching my phone, I flop back on the pillows and try not to think. As soon as I try to clear my mind, though, it starts racing. There’s no reason for this panic. I can’t be pregnant—I don’t even ovulate. The doctor told me that.
At sixteen. He told me that at sixteen.
“Holy fuck.” I sit up again. “No.” I shake my head. He’ll think I’m trying to trap him. My head pounds and my face is flushed. God, everything on me feels hot. I wonder if I have a fever. That could be why I’m acting like this… because there’s no way.
“Oh God,” I groan. Think, I need to think.
There’s a tap on the door, and I scream.
“Antoinette? Are you okay?” I leap out of bed, grabbing my Dicks shirt because no matter what happens, this is mine. When I open the door, Eve stands there arguing with her son, clutching his hand so that he doesn’t bolt inside.
“I need to talk to Antoinette. If you’re good, I’ll let you play with Axel’s guitars.”I stare in horror as James Dean looks around me then smiles.
“Oh Eve, is that allowed? Axel never takes them dow—” James Dean runs past me and she follows.
Ignite (The Disciples Book 4) Page 26