Fallen (The Guardian Series Book 2)

by A. J. Messenger

  I look at Alenna. “You can’t let him do this,” I say.

  “You already pushed him overboard once,” Avestan says. “What’s the harm in doing it again?”

  “I was defending myself from him trying to kill me!” I shout back.

  “But wouldn’t that be a just ending?” he asks. “To push him overboard in cold blood? Since he killed your father? An eye for an eye and all that?”

  I look at Alenna again. “How can you do this?”

  “It’s a choice, Declan,” Avestan continues. “Who will you kill? The man who just told you he murdered your own father? Or your innocent friend here, Justin? The choice seems obvious. It’s amazing how easy killing can be when you’re placed in the right circumstances.”

  “Don’t do it, Declan,” Burt says to me with fear in his eyes. “They made me do it.”

  “That’s a good point, Burt,” Avestan says with dry ridicule. “Let’s make sure Declan knows exactly what that means, so she can make a fully informed decision.” He turns to me. “What if I told you that Burt here was influenced to do what he did?” He looks at Burt mockingly. “What if I told you he’s just a good man who was in a tight spot and he listened to the supposedly wrong voices to earn himself lavish rewards? And what if I told you he did it not just once, but over and over and over again, didn’t you Burt? You liked the tasted of it,” he says, staring into Burt’s panicked, frightened eyes before he turns back to me. “Remember the connection I told you we share, Declan? It has two very interesting, intersecting parts … the first part, which I’ll tell you now, is that my Maker was the one who influenced Burt all those years ago. He’s the one who tipped the first domino that led to your father’s death. Does that make it easier or harder to push Burt over and let him die out there in the ocean?”

  The anger burning in my stomach is raw and without end. I feel it raging in my core and I survey the situation, seemingly in slow motion. Burt, sickening as he is, pleading with his eyes for his life; Justin laying lifeless with Avestan standing over him.

  “The train is barreling down the tracks, Declan. Not making a decision is a decision of its own,” Avestan says. He raises his hand to direct a bolt of energy toward Justin and in that moment, furious rage swells within me. Avestan’s evil has hurt me and the people I love for the last time. I feel the burning light within my core surge with the fury in my heart and I thrust out my hand in front of me, releasing a white hot flash of light that bursts out like a cannonball and strikes Avestan in the chest, knocking him back, hard, before he can harm Justin. I fall forward to my knees from the momentum and land next to Justin, who I can now confirm with relief is alive. He’s groaning but not moving.

  The last thing I remember is looking up at Alenna before something hard hits my head and the water swallows me whole.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  I’m drifting. Bobbing in the waves as my arms and legs move back and forth languidly with the current to keep me afloat. Where am I? What am I doing here?

  I look around in the dark, confused, but I can barely see past the waves and the ocean that extends in all directions. Slowly, slowly, the icy water revives me fully and I remember how I ended up here. I look around but there’s no boat in sight. I touch the back of my head where it hurts and feel sticky wetness.

  I’m tired.

  So tired.

  I shake my head to clear it. Don’t give in, Declan. I attempt to float on my back to conserve energy but it’s difficult as I get tossed in the crests and valleys of the swells. I search for the North Star in the sky above me. Isn’t that how ancient explorers found their way? I need something, anything, to indicate which direction to swim. I think I locate it but I’m unsure. Why didn’t I pay more attention when Finn was always pointing things out in the sky? If only Finn could help me now. Sweet, steadfast Finn. He’d know exactly which direction to go. I want to cry but I can’t let myself. Man up, Jane! shouts my inner drill sergeant. I need her now more than ever. “Trust your instincts,” I hear Alexander whisper in my mind. But didn’t Alenna say the same thing? And look where that got me? I never realized she was working against me, possibly the whole time.

  You knew, but you didn’t trust it. That’s true. I felt something was wrong on the boat. If I paid closer attention I would have realized it was a warning. Instead I rationalized it and pushed the thoughts aside.

  Not trusting my instincts is what got me here.

  I need to trust them now.

  I force myself to concentrate the way Alexander taught me. I struggle to find my light in the center of my body. I look up into the sky and find the North Star. Then I get my bearings and start swimming. “Trust yourself,” I say out loud to firmly secure the thought in my brain. You’re going the right way, I hear a voice whisper back. Did I really just hear that? I worry that I’m becoming delirious but I have no choice except to continue to move. If it’s humanly possible to swim back to shore I’m going to try. I can’t give up.

  I swim for what feels like hours and I have no idea if I’m making headway in the right direction. The waves keep coming and I keep swimming but I’m losing steam and the water is starting to feel warm, which I remember is a bad thing, according to a survival show Liz and I watched once. I try to warm myself with the light in my core but whether it’s my head injury or hypothermia, I can’t think clearly for long enough to fight against it. I’m in the middle of the ocean, helpless and alone. The memory of the shark I saw earlier pops into my head for a brief second but for some reason I don’t feel fearful, just accepting. Part of the food chain … the natural order of things.

  I feel myself melting into the sea, where I belong. I’m folding into a warm, welcoming blanket that I want to immerse myself in fully so I can stop this endless effort, endless struggle, getting nowhere.

  Why keep fighting against the inevitable?

  This is how it ends. No more pain. No more worry. Wherever Alexander is, he won’t have to put himself in danger for me anymore.

  Gradually I cease swaying my arms and legs in the waves and let my body flow beneath the sea, drifting downward, ever deeper … quietly and peacefully … into the abyss.

  Avestan has finally won.

  A familiar voice breaks through the haze, causing me to open my eyes. “No!” it shouts. “Fight! Declan.”

  The shock brings me back to clarity for a moment and I manage to kick to the surface one more time. I gasp for air as I shoot up among the waves.

  “Dad?” I say aloud, as I look all around me, tears in my eyes.

  I look out over the empty waves and realize that delirium must be playing painful tricks on me. I want to let go in peace. Why is my dad urging me to fight rather than welcoming me with open arms? Please just let me go. I’m too tired now … and I just want to Let. Go. I lay back, floating, and allow myself to drift without any effort.

  “It’s not your time, Declan,” I hear my dad’s voice whisper to me once again. “You’re almost there.” In a dream I feel my dad’s embrace, lifting me along the ocean currents, pointing me towards shore. I relax into his arms and imagine this is what it feels like to cross over. I’m so at peace and the love I feel from my dad is overwhelming. “I love you, dad,” I say through tears as I float among the peaks and valleys in his arms. “I missed you so much.”

  Eventually a wave crashes over me, and then another, churning me beneath the surface, but this time I don’t succumb. I rise up spitting and sputtering, fighting again. I haven’t let go. I spot the shore in the distance and I start swimming with renewed purpose, remembering why I want to live. To see my mom again. To see Alexander. To see Finn, and Liz. I swim toward land, managing one stroke after another until I’m no longer making headway against the rip current. I swim parallel to shore until, blessedly, finally, I feel the swell taking me in. As my feet touch down to the sandy bottom, a blinding white light tears through the sky and lands on the beach. Alexander runs into the surf and as I collapse into his arms he kisses me, reviving me as
we stand in the water, waves crashing around our legs.

  “Declan,” Alexander chokes out with heavy emotion, “I’m so sorry.” He gathers me in his arms and carries me to shore, away from the water.

  I can’t speak. My emotions are so raw and close to the surface. I bury my head in his shoulder as I hold him tighter. Is this a dream?

  We reach the edge of the cliffs and he lays me down and runs his hands over my body slowly, warming me with white, healing light.

  “Is this real?” I ask weakly.

  He nods. “Yes,” he chokes out with tears in his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Declan. I didn’t know.”

  “Justin,” I say. “And Burt. And Alenna … and Avestan.”

  “I know,” he says. “Justin’s safe. Edwin has him.”

  “How did you find me?” I ask.

  “I sent you my energy at midnight like I promised but I could tell you weren’t there to receive it and I felt something was wrong.”

  “Alenna,” I say, my voice drifting off.

  “I didn’t know until it was too late,” he says, his voice filled with anguish.

  “It wasn’t too late,” I whisper. “You saved me.” I look up into his deep green eyes that I missed so dearly.

  “You saved yourself,” he says, choked with emotion. “I always knew you were more powerful than you think.”

  I shake my head. “It was my da-”

  “Shh, shh,” Alexander says softly, stroking my face. “Save your energy. Let me heal you.”

  I nod slowly and he kisses me tenderly on the lips, bathing me in warm, white light. I relax, kissing him back and breathing in the energy I crave like oxygen.

  I’m finally safe again, in his arms.

  Chapter Forty

  I awaken in Alexander’s bed in what must be a pair of his sweats and a t-shirt. I stretch and reach out for him next to me but he’s not there. Before I have time to wonder where he is, he appears in the doorway with a breakfast tray.

  “You’re finally up,” he says.

  “What happened to Justin?” I ask. I have a vague memory of Alexander telling me he was safe, but I’m having a hard time parsing reality from delirium.

  “He’s fine. Resting at home. Edwin felt it was better that he not remember anything. Justin thinks he went home after work yesterday. He’ll have no memory of being on the boat.”

  “And Burt?” I ask.

  Alexander shakes his head. “Gone.”

  “Do you know what he told me about my dad?” I say, tears welling up as I remember his confession. The thought of my dad dying in that way, knowing his best friend turned against him brings on fresh waves of pain. “And that Malentus was connected to it?”

  Alexander sets the tray down and puts his arms around me. “I know everything. Edwin and Alenna had quite a confrontation late last night. I’m so sorry, Declan, that we didn’t see what was going on. And the connection.”

  “Avestan said there were two ways he and I were connected.”

  “Edwin and I are looking into it. It’s hard to tell truth from lies with him.”

  “Was Alenna working against us from the start?”

  He shakes his head. “She’s not giving details. When I came back to San Mar and she kissed me it may have been after that … but I never would have suspected she would fall prey to Avestan’s evil. I’m sick that I missed it.”

  I reach over and squeeze his hand. “You weren’t here. We all missed it. Edwin, too.”

  He nods, quiet.

  “Alenna said the kiss was staged,” I say.

  “It was, partially, to let Avestan see us together. But the way Alenna kissed me wasn’t, and afterwards, when we were alone and I didn’t respond the way she wanted, she was upset.”

  “So that’s why Avestan didn’t follow you? Because Alenna was telling him not to?”

  “It looks that way.”

  My mind races over last night’s events. “I have to tell Mr. Morris what Burt was doing, stealing from the firm. And I have to tell my mom about my dad. ”

  “There’ll be time for that later. Right now you should rest.”

  I nuzzle against him, marveling at the fact that I’m truly here, with Alexander. “I’m not tired, actually,” I say with surprise. “Why do I feel so good?”

  He smiles. “I may have given you a little extra light energy, to make sure you healed fully.”

  “Is that what this is?” I say, stretching out my legs and arms, amazed at how energized I feel. “You can do that to me anytime.”

  “So are you hungry?” he asks.

  I nod, realizing that I’m ravenous.

  “Your favorite veggie omelet and fresh-squeezed orange juice,” he says as he sets down the tray in my lap.

  I thank him profusely and that’s when it hits me. “Oh my God,” I say. “I have to call my mom. She must be worried. I was supposed to be home last night.”

  He holds up his hand. “I already called her. Everything’s fine. She knows you’re here.”

  “Did you tell her what happened?”

  He looks at me like I’m crazy. “That you were almost killed by dark angels? No. She thinks I just got back into town and you went out with co-workers to dinner on the wharf and met up with me later on your way home. I told her I was calling because you dropped your phone in the water and couldn’t. That part’s true. I fished your mobile out of the pocket of your jeans and put it in a bowl of rice. Hopefully it’ll be okay in a couple days.”

  “You can heal me, a living, breathing person, but you can’t heal a cell phone?”

  He smiles. “I don’t care as much about a cell phone as I care about you.”

  I nod. “Give me about five minutes with this omelet and then I have about a million more questions for you.”

  He laughs again and sits down on the bed beside me. “I’m not leaving your side, so go ahead and eat.”

  I tuck into my omelet and after eating nearly all of it and draining my juice glass I’m thoroughly sated and I turn to Alexander. “First question: where were you?” I ask. “While you were gone?’

  “Far from here in a region of the world perpetually at war.”

  “You won’t tell me exactly?”

  “I moved around. I was following Malentus. You can probably guess all the places.”

  “What happens now?” I ask. “Since Avestan never followed you and the plan didn’t work?”

  “Part of the plan did work,” he says.

  “What do you mean?”

  “While you were on the boat fighting for your life with Avestan I managed to wound his Maker. Severely.”

  “You wounded Malentus? How?”

  He lifts his shirt to reveal a long, curved scar from below his heart to the lower reaches of his ab muscles.

  “Oh my God, Alexander,” I say, reaching for him, “are you okay?”

  “This won’t be going away, but it was worth it. I managed to weaken Avestan, and the rest of Malentus’s line. It’ll last for a while.”

  “Is that why I was able to knock Avestan down?”

  He shakes his head. “It’s not immediate. Don’t diminish it. You saved your friend. When your heart’s involved you can do anything.”

  “I thought you said Malentus was too powerful to go after.”

  He takes a deep breath before answering. “I found out that when my heart’s involved I’m stronger than I think, too. And everyone has their weakness, if you take the time to find it.”

  “What was Malentus’s weakness?”

  “Being cocksure. Your favorite word.”

  I meet his eyes and see the glint in them. “You’re making jokes?”

  “It happens to be true.”

  “You risked your life,” I say, my voice cracking. “I didn’t want you to do that.”

  “It gave us more time together.”

  “How much time?”

  “A while.”

  “So it’s not over?” I ask.

  “It’s delayed.”


  “Do you have another plan?”

  He smiles. “You know that I do. But let’s not talk about that now. I just want to enjoy being with you again, safe, for a while.”

  “So you’re more powerful than Avestan now?”

  “You’re wounding my pride by not assuming that I always was,” he says with a grin, putting his hand over his heart. “But that’s the hope, yes.”

  “The hope? You better be kidding,” I say, pushing his arm, “because joking about something like this isn’t funny.”

  He smiles. “Avestan will go into hiding again. But I’m going to find him this time before he rebuilds his strength.”

  “Does that mean you’re going to leave again?”

  He shakes his head. “The last thing I want to do is leave your side again anytime soon. Can we talk about this later? I have something vitally important I need to do.”

  “What?” I say, concerned.

  “Tell you that I love you. And I missed you. Terribly. And I’m going to kiss you. Right now.”

  I smile into his eyes as he does just that.

  Chapter Forty-One

  As Alexander and I lay together in companionable silence, I breathe in the intoxicating nearness of him again. The harmony of our energies fills the air and I lie with my head on his chest, listening to the steady metronome of his heart. “Is it possible my dad saved me?” I ask.

  Alexander stops stroking my hair for a moment. “Why do you ask?”

  I raise my head to look up at him. “I tried to hang on … but then I couldn’t anymore and I wanted to let go. But then I heard my dad whisper that it wasn’t time. He held me and carried me until I was close enough to shore to swim again. I thought maybe I was delirious but it felt real.”

  Alexander meets my eyes. “Anything’s possible.”

  “So you think it was him?”

  “Sometimes,” he says, “when a soul meets a violent end they don’t want to let go fully until the truth is revealed.”

  “You mean they’re trapped?”

  “No. More like limited in what they can do and where they can go. By their own choosing.”