Dead and Stinkin'

by Stephen Hewett

  “That’s what’s so ill, baby. I just started thinking about him these last few days, and now I have this dream.”

  “Honey, I’m not gonna front, these last few days have been crazy strange, for real. Ever since we came back from the party at the Savoy I have been feeling real strange,” said Laura.

  She started shivering again and Mike wrapped a blanket around both of them.

  “Laura, you know what’s also strange now that you mention the party? I can’t remember shit about what happened that night. We must have been bent, because that entire night is a blank.”

  “Mike you know that’s true baby. I can’t recall the party at all… Not getting there or leaving. I do remember that you were looking extra fine that evening, and I wanted to pull over and get busy in the car.”

  “She’s a very freaky girl,” Mike started singing while rubbing Laura’s shapely legs.

  “No wait baby,” Laura suddenly yelled, pushing Mike’s hand from between her thighs. “I think I remember us driving down Jerome Avenue and we were talking and laughing, but after that everything is a blank,” exclaimed a troubled Laura.

  The couple sat in the bed, lost in their thoughts for a few minutes. Then it was as if something just seemed to pop in Mike’s head he said, “Boo, do you remember hearing shots that night?” Mike asked, standing up.

  “No… Not really. I think I remember hearing some clapping noises like fire crackers but I don’t think they were gunshots.”

  “Let’s not bug out about it Laura. That night is a total blur. I guess it will come back to us eventually. Let’s get dressed and hit the streets, maybe we can go by the stash house and find School and get some answers, okay?”

  “Sure lover, let’s be out. We really need some answers and hopefully closure to all this mess.”

  Mike started walking to the door and Laura grabbed him.

  “Before we go lover I have a slight problem I think you can help me with. It seems that my ovaries are a bit dry. Do you know where I could get some lubrication?” Laura said while grabbing the front of Mike’s pants.

  “I just happen to have a portable lubricator right where your hand is,” said Mike smiling. “But your tonsils look a little dry also. So first things first, open up and say Ah!”

  Chapter 06

  “Mike this has to be the craziest idea you’ve ever had. It will never work. We look like two deranged crack-heads,” said Laura, referring to the way they were dressed.

  Mike had the idea of going undercover in the projects. He was still trying to find out any information about Black Rob’s new operations and the plans for retaliation against Mike. They had been looking for Old School to get answers for several days now, but with no luck. Mike and Laura were tired of the anticipation and wanted to put an end to the ordeal.

  “Damn girl, even as a crack-head you still look fine,” said Mike.

  He was dressed in a torn coat and busted shoes. Laura smiled looking at him.

  “Well I don’t feel fine. This is crazy, Mike and it won’t work. Someone is bound to recognize us,” complained Laura ripping a hole in her stockings.

  “Okay Scotty, let’s go fight those Klingons,” laughed Mike.

  He left the apartment with a furious Laura lagging behind. Disguised in their rundown drug addicts’ attires, Mike and Laura went into the projects. Business was going on as usual. There were crack and dope peddlers all through the projects. The couple overheard that the dealers were all claiming to be down with the Get Money Crew. This knowledge made Mike furious. He kept his head and continued to gather information. They decided to approach a group of hustlers who were in a heated discussion.

  “Nigga you buggin’— the shit we got from Rob last time was much better than this weak-ass coke. I clocked my whole package in two days. This new shit is goin mad slow,” shouted a tall, slender crack dealer.

  “I know the heads in my building love this shit. And the bitches are freakin’ hard for a blast of this butter,” rebutted his dark skinned co-worker.

  Their discussion went on for a few minutes. Mike decided to try and get some inside information. He approached the men and they walked away without paying him any attention. Laura walked up behind him saying, “I guess you overdid it Captain Kirk. They probably thought your dusty looking ass was dead broke.”

  “Don’t give up your day job funny lady. Let’s go,” said Mike.

  They walked through the projects trying to locate Old School, or any member of Mike’s renegade crew. They were unsuccessful.

  “What the hell, I know we look like shit and you smell pretty… Just joking baby, but why the hell is everyone just ignoring us, like our dough is monopoly money?” asked an upset and frustrated Laura.

  Exhausted Mike and Laura sat on a bench. Mike pondered other possibilities while Laura pulled her shoes off and rubbed her tired feet.

  “Maybe if you put your shoes back on people wouldn’t be avoiding us like the damn plague,” said Mike.

  “If they smell so bad then why you love sucking them so much, along with the rest of my body?” said Laura, wiggling her toes in Mike’s face.

  Mike grabbed his stomach, and put his hand over his mouth, acting like he was about to vomit.

  “You’re so silly Michael, I swear.”

  Mike moved closer to Laura and started rubbing her feet. They were relaxing on the bench. While talking, Laura looked in the lobby of a building, and touched Mike’s arm.

  “Baby, isn’t that the same man we saw in the park the other day, wearing that same bugged out suit?”

  Mike glanced over at the building and smiled then said, “Word baby. That’s Boris, but why does he keep popping up in the weirdest places, and what’s the story with that suit? I think I’m gonna go check out homeboy real quick.”

  The couple started walking toward the building, and a group of kids came running out of the door. Mike and Laura moved out the way to let them pass.

  “Oh shit, where did he go so fast?” asked Mike, entering the lobby.

  Mike and Laura stood in the lobby talking. Two men exited the elevator also in conversation, and what they said caught the couple’s attention.

  “Yeah man, that cat Stack Money got his wig peeled back. He got shot three times in the face,” said one of the men.

  “Word, do they know who did it?”

  “Not really, but cats are saying it was Old School, on some payback shit.”

  The two men left the building oblivious to the couple in the corner. Laura looked at Mike digesting what they just heard.

  “That’s bullshit. Old School wouldn’t kill Stacks, and what payback shit? The two of them were cooler than a fan.”

  “I don’t know Mike. That might explain why we can’t find School anywhere. It might sound crazy, but the way shit is going on these days crazy is in season,” added Laura.

  They quickly walked out the projects and heading home.

  “What the fuck? Laura, we been robbed!” shouted Mike, walking into the apartment.

  The front door was slightly ajar. The place had been cleaned out, not ransacked, but neatly emptied. The couple looked through the entire apartment and found everything missing including their clothes.

  “Ah hell no…! This is crazy, all our shit is gone. Every piece of furniture and our gear…” Mike was at loss for words.

  “Baby, they even took out the phone. I better go to one of the neighbor’s and call the police,” suggested Laura.

  They both decided to go together, but only to return moments later with a look of surprise written on both their faces.

  “You mean to tell me in this entire building not one person is home. What’s up with this fuckin’ twilight zone shit, baby?”

  “Mike, I’m getting really freaked out about what’s been happening lately. None of this is making much sense. The more answers we look for, the more questions pop up.”

  The two hugged each other in a tight embrace and started thinking about the events of the last few day
s. Everything that had been happening kept bringing them to one troubling question. Suddenly the lovers separated and looked at each other. Like always, they were reading each other’s mind.

  “What happened that night?” They both chorused.

  Chapter 07

  During the weeks that followed, members of the renegade Get Money Crew, now led by Black Rob and Pretty Boy, turned the southeast section of the Bronx into a drug-infested ghetto. With the various projects in the area flooded with heroin and crack, new addicts were being recruited every day.

  The surge of strung out crack-heads and junkies also brought a wave of crime and violence. Robberies and breakins were at all time highs. Women and men who once worked to support families now turned to prostitution to support there out of control drug habits.

  Mike and Laura had been staying in their apartment for some time now. They stopped going into the projects and gave up trying to locate Old School. They didn’t want to push their luck and be recognized.

  “This is getting out of hand, baby. Those greedy bastards have turned our hood upside down. People we grew up with are fucking with that poison and throwing their lives away,” said Mike looking out the window at a crack-head breaking into an automobile. “Laura we both know that drugs always been in the projects, but not like this. It looks like a damn epidemic.”

  Mike and Laura left the apartment to walk to the store. The two had been living on fruits and water that they stole from the neighborhood Korean fruit stand. Their bankcards wouldn’t work after they were robbed of their valuables and cash. They went by their relatives’ homes to collect other stashed monies, but nobody was ever home. With all the strange events happening, the couple mostly stayed home talking, and making love. Sitting on a car drinking water and eating fruit Laura and Mike discussed their misfortunes.

  “This can’t last forever baby. As soon as we straighten out these streets and get a hold of our people to get our money, we’re history, no looking back,” promised Mike.

  Laura eyed him and ate her banana. As they went walking down the street they saw Carl, one of Rob’s main workers coming their way with one of his girls. The couple ducked into a doorway acting like they were looking for their keys. Carl and his girlfriend walked by Laura and Mike, they were having an interesting conversation.

  “No, you can’t come with me tonight, this is business. I gotta meet Rob and his connect later tonight at the Savoy. Listen baby, it’s a private meeting we’re having. No chicks allowed,” Carl told his suspicious girlfriend.

  “You just better not be bringing one of your bitches there with you Carl.”

  Carl started laughing and put his arm around her waist. They crossed the street.

  “Baby, you think it’s a good idea to just show up at the Savoy like this? We don’t know what Rob is up to, or if he’s still mad at you and School for robbing his workers.”

  “We’ll know soon. We’re almost there. Then we’ll find out where we stand with Black Rob and his new Get Money Crew.”

  The couple began walking to the Savoy, which was not far from the apartment. Mike started feeling strange.

  “Wow Laura, you feel how cold it got all of a sudden. And what’s up with that smell?”

  Laura buttoned up her sweater, and looked around to see if she could find the source of the decomposing smell. She glanced across the street. Standing in a lighted doorway was that same suited stranger. He was staring down an alley on their side of the street.

  “Oh, now look at this, not again. Why does this nut-job keep on popping up all the time?” Laura asked. She noticed that Mike was looking down the same alley the strange man was looking. He was in a trancelike state. “Baby what’s wrong?” asked Laura, hugging Mike.

  “Baby, I got a weird feeling that something down that alley will answer some of the questions about these strange things that’s been happening to us lately. Whatever stinks like that is down there.”

  “Baby, I’m scared. Let’s just go,” said Laura.

  Mike started walking down the alley. Laura followed her man. They ventured deeper into the alley and Laura felt that something was pulling them. Suddenly there was a dead end. Nothing but a dumpster was standing between them and a brick wall. Trash was overflowing because of the still unresolved sanitation strike. The origin of the smell was in front of them. They knew this wasn’t the smell of garbage or urine.

  Something was sticking out from the back of the dumpster. Mike glanced at Laura first before moving closer to get a better look. Laura looked at Mike. She saw utter terror and fear on his face. Without asking him a thing, she also took a look.

  What Laura saw made her scream in a blood-chillingly, loud way. The couple was looking at the decomposing bodies of a man and woman that were riddled with bullet holes. Laura screamed, not because she saw two dead bodies, she had seen death before. Laura and Mike were looking at their own rotting flesh lying there lifeless. The couple walked out of the alley in a state of shock and disbelief.

  “How can that be us, baby…? We’re right here, alive and kicking,” said Mike, holding Laura close and looking into her eyes. “We’re here baby, but are we alive?”

  The couple started discussing all the strange and weird things that had been happening since that night of the party. Slowly, everything started to make sense. They never got to the party that night. Now they knew why everyone ignored them when they came around. Their house was emptied and none of their relatives ever answered when they went knocking.

  Everything made sense, except if they were dead, why were they still here in spirit?

  Mike and Laura tried to answer that last crucial question but couldn’t. Then they looked at each other and knew who would have the answer— the stranger. They looked across the street and he was there looking at them.

  Chapter 08

  “Shit! I thought you were horny when you were alive. Damn! If I knew the sex would be like this, I’d a killed your ass years ago,” moaned Laura.

  She had just finished having her eighth orgasm on the floor of the vacant apartment.

  The place had been robbed by neighborhood crooks after learning of the couple’s demise. Robbers staked out the place for days before having the courage to rob the apartment. The couple stayed there while they tried to make sense of their situation.

  “You’re right baby, the sex is bananas. And your coochie is crazy soft… Hmm,” said Mike, licking his lips. Ah…Warm like an angel food cake… Get it?” laughed Mike, basking in a post-orgasmic huddle.

  “Angel food cake, ha-ha very funny, but seriously boo— oh snap, get it, I said boo,” said Laura, cracking up at her own joke.

  “Yeah, yeah I get it, very funny, whoopee,” laughed Mike sarcastically.

  “Seriously Mike, what are we going to do? We have to get some answers. I don’t think this is it.”

  Mike walked to the window and said, “Okay, this is the deal. That quack in the suit—he’s tied into this somehow. I know it. We’ll go out and get some answers one way or the other. Let’s get dressed.”

  “Why are we getting dressed Mike? Nobody can see us,” inquired Laura.

  “For one, I ain’t walking around with my jewels swinging in the breeze, and your coochie stays under wraps and covered up. That shit is so good it might start raising the dead.”

  “You’re a sick puppy, Michael, but sweet… Let’s get dressed.”

  The couple went out a few days before. Mike and Laura stole food and clothing from a few stores. They still couldn’t understand why they were so hungry and thirsty even though they were dead.

  Laura came out of the room in spandex biker shorts and a belly exposing T-shirt. Mike stared at her then started laughing.

  “Baby, you crazy…? All these years you took pride in dressing conservatively, and now that you’re dead you wanna be Caspisha, the ghetto-fabulous ghost,” he said, giving Laura a kiss on the cheek. “Let’s go, my little deceased hood-rat.”

  Laura laughed then punched Mike lovingly o
n his arm. Together they walked out of the apartment hand in hand.

  “There he goes, Laura, walking to the park.”

  The couple had been searching for hours. While walking, they felt a cold breeze and Mike spotted the stranger. The couple ran in the man’s direction and realized they were moving extremely fast.

  When they reached the man, Mike tried to grab hold of him, but his hand seemed to bounce off the stranger’s body. The stranger turned and smiled at the couple.

  “I guess by now you know that you’re not in the best of health.”

  Laura and Mike looked at each other furious. Mike again tried to lash out and grab the man. His hand just brushed off once again.

  “Okay, I’m sorry. I know that you are confused and want answers. I know that you’ve figured out some of what happened to you. And yes, I have answers.”

  The three started walking through the park, talking. They sat on a park bench.

  “Yes, you are here for a reason. You see your souls are in a state of limbo… A sort of stop over between the physical world and the hereafter,” the stranger explained to them.

  “Yeah, we figured that part out. But why us…? Can’t we just get dirt thrown in our faces and move on like everybody else?” asked Laura with concern.

  “Laura, I’m just a collector of souls, and occasionally a messenger. Believe me when I say you’re not alone. Many before you have been faced with similar tests.”

  “What test?” interrupted Mike.

  “Mike, you and Laura have unfinished business on earth before you can move on. The accomplishment of the business itself will determine your faith.”

  “Oh well, that explains everything. I’m so glad we had this little… ”

  Looking toward the entrance of the park, Mike stopped in mid-sentence. It was there he saw Black Rob parking his BMW. The same one he was driving the night he was murdered. All Mike saw was his murderer and the murderer of his beloved Laura, nothing else. He forgot all that the stranger had told him and started running at top speed toward Black Rob with murderous intentions in his heart.