Getting The Edge

by Alexandra Warren

  “Hey, isn’t that your girl over there?” He must’ve caught the direction of my gaze.

  “Nah. I mean, yeah that’s her, but we’ve been over for a good minute now.” I tried to speak of it casually even though it still bothered me.

  “Seriously? Well shit, you mind if I slide up on that? You think she’s into white guys?” My immediate reaction was to snatch his ass up for even speaking that shit, but instead I used my words like they taught me in preschool.

  “Dawson, I will whoop your white ass if you even think about talking to her. Have some respect man. She is technically my ex.”

  “Yeah, your ex and my next.” My hand instantly balled into a fist even though I knew I wasn’t gonna actually act on the urge to punch him in the face.

  “Dawson…”

  “Okay, okay, I’m done. I just wanted to see how much you still love her.”

  “Love her?”

  “Bro, it’s pretty obvious. I mean, I’ve seen the way you look at her. Excuse me, looked at her. Your eyes traded themselves for hearts like an emoji man.”

  “You’re right, but I could never love someone who did what she did to me.” I had never shared that Ariel was the spy Dawson had talked about. It just didn’t seem necessary to let him know that much since the problem had been taken care of.

  “I don’t care what she did. When a woman looks that good, you forgive your ass off. Hell, I know I would.”

  “Not that easy man. She did some real grimy shit.”

  “Grimy, slimy, crimy, I still don’t care. She’s a gem man. Rare. And by the looks of things, you’re not even that mad at her anymore.” My anger had definitely subsided in our time apart but I still wasn’t ready to take her on.

  “I’m not mad. But I don’t think I could ever trust her again, so what would be the point?”

  Dawson took a long drag of his beer before he responded, “You’d be surprised by the things love allows us to do.”

  ariel.

  “You know he hasn’t stopped looking at you since we got here.”

  I was afraid to check and see if Jasmine’s words were true. Making eye contact was an absolute no-no as far as my emotions were concerned. Seeing Jamison in his element, doing what my former employer had set out to destroy, made me so proud but I wasn’t in any condition to tell him that no matter how much I had his eye.

  “I don’t know how to not be awkward about this.”

  “I can guarantee if we get a few shots in you, you’ll have no problem with that.”

  “As tempting as that is, I’m really not in the mood to drink.” Hell, I was hardly in the mood to come to the event but it had been on my calendar since before Jamison and I broke up . Once Jaz saw the notification reminder on my phone, she wouldn’t let it go.

  “Suit yourself girl. I’m gonna have me a drink. Maybe three.”

  “Go ahead. I am more than happy to be your designated driver.”

  “Well in that case, let’s go before you change your mind.” I followed Jasmine to the bar and as she flirted with the bartender trying to get her drink for free, I scanned the crowd forming on the dance floor. My eyes instantly found Jamison amongst the partiers and to no surprise he wasn’t alone. He was dancing with a lady I immediately recognized as Zalayah’s mom. The two seemed extremely comfortable as she grinded up and down his body, her dress riding up her legs as it got caught on the friction from his pants. I had no rights to who he involved himself with these days, but seeing it with my own two eyes cut deep.

  Jasmine turned around in her seat, with her free drink in hand, and immediately caught on to what had my gaze. “Fuck him Ariel. He’s an asshole.” I just couldn’t take watching Jamison with someone else knowing it was all my fault that it wasn’t he and I out there enjoying his moment together.

  “I...shouldn’t be here Jaz. Can we go? Please?” I thought I was strong enough, thought I had recovered from my emotions being ripped to shambles, but apparently I jumped the gun.

  “Yeah. Let me finish my drink then we can roll.”

  - & -

  I stirred out of my sleep at the sound of loud pounding coming from my front door. It stopped for a short moment but then swiftly returned making me clench the covers closer to my chest. Whoever was at the door was persistent as hell so I gave Jasmine, who had fallen asleep at the foot of my bed, a little kick.

  “Jaz. Jaz, wake up.”

  “Ariel. Please come to the door. It’s me.”

  Oh shit.

  What the hell is he doing here?

  I kicked her again, “Jaz. Wake up.”

  “Fuck Ariel. I’m trying to sleep. What’s going on?”

  I wasn’t sure how thin the walls were so I whispered, “Jamison’s here.”

  “Why? It’s like...4 in the morning.”

  “I don’t know. Can you go answer it? Please?” She huffed and puffed, kicking her feet in annoyance.

  “Bitch...you are so lucky I like you.” She threw the covers back and crawled out of bed, heading to the front room. Once she opened the door, she wasted no time going off on his ass.

  “It is four in the fuckin’ morning and your drunk ass is out here banging on doors. Why the hell are you here Jamison? She obviously wants nothing to do with you.” Okay, that definitely wasn’t true.

  “I just...I need to talk to her. Please.” I rose out of the bed and headed into the hallway to get a closer view. From his red eyes to the dishevelment of his clothes, Jasmine’s analysis of Jamison’s intoxication was spot on.

  “There’s nothing you can say that she actually wants to hear. She’s been through hell these last few weeks and your ass was nowhere to be found. So you know what? It should probably stay that way.”

  “Through hell? What are you talking about?”

  “Don’t play dumb now. You’re in the industry. I know you’ve seen all those headlines about J&J.”

  “Wait? He…? Ariel?”

  “Duh mothafucka. Now if you would excuse me, I would like to get back to...hey! Get back here!”

  My heart began to race as I knew he was heading my way. I tiptoed back to the bedroom as fast as I could, closing the door and locking it before I could feel the vibrations of his heavy pounding.

  “Ariel. I’m so sorry he did that to you baby. I’m…please…just let me in.”

  “Jamison, you’re drunk. Go home!”

  “No, I’m not leaving. I need to…please let me in Ariel.”

  “She said no you asshole, now leave!”

  Against my original plan, I opened the door to a sight I was nowhere near ready for; Jamison on his knees pleading for me to let him in. The moment we locked eyes, I knew I was in for it. He stood up, immediately pulling me into an embrace as he said, “Baby….” It felt so good to be in his arms again, inhaling the scent of his cologne mixed with whatever dark liquor he had been sipping on. But no matter how good the moment felt, it didn’t necessarily make it right, so I put my hands to his chest, putting a little room between us.

  “Why are you here Jamison?” It came out as a whisper thanks to my breath being stolen by his mere presence.

  “I saw you…at Zalayah’s event tonight. And I…it did something to me. I miss you Ariel. I love you and I miss you and I just want to move on from all of this. Start fresh, whatever we gotta do. I just…I want you Ariel. And I feel like shit because I wasn’t there to protect you, circumstances be damned. But I promise you it will never happen again if you…”

  “Jamison, will you shut up and kiss me already?” He gave me a smirk before his lips met mine. It was as though we hadn’t missed a beat, even with all that had transpired. And though I didn’t quite understand what any of this meant, it felt good to have my friend back.

  “Guess I’ll be sleeping on the couch.”

  jamison.

  I love you too.

  I could hear the words coming from somewhere even though my eyes were sealed shut. Maybe they were on loop in my dream of her or maybe…

  I p
eeled my eyes open and there she was; the girl of my dreams despite everything that had gone on. She was caressing my face, letting the side of her palm graze my skin as if I was a baby and not a grown ass man. Not that it didn’t feel lovely. It definitely did. But what was I doing here?

  “Good morning handsome. Did I wake you?”

  “Kinda. But that’s not the concerning part. When did I get here?”

  “About four in the morning. You were pretty wasted. Saying all types of shit that I’m sure you didn’t mean.”

  “Like what? Like I love you? Nah, I meant that.” My words must’ve caught her off guard as she readjusted in her seat next to me on the bed in response. Since she didn’t look eager to speak, I sat up and continued on, “And I know you feel the same which is why I didn’t understand the shit that you pulled; at least at first. But now...I kinda get it. It really wasn’t about me. I mean yeah, you used me and it’s still a little fucked up, but it was strictly business. You did what you had to do to get the edge and I can only imagine the stipulations surrounding that shit. I guess I wouldn’t be a man if I couldn’t respect your grind. And with the industry that we’re in, sometimes shit like that is just part of it regardless of personal relationships.” She wouldn’t respond; just looked at me astounded by my words as if she was never expecting to hear them.

  “You can jump in at any time Ariel.” She looked down at her hands that were resting in her lap before she used one of them to push her hair behind her ear.

  “I guess I just feel like an idiot because I put you never speaking to me again at risk for a job I no longer have nor care to have after the shit I’ve been through...the shit I’m going through.” Just the thought of that smug mothafucka putting his hands on my girl had me ready to go find his ass but I knew that wouldn’t be a smart move. I couldn’t be much of a boyfriend from jail.

  “It’ll all work out baby. I promise you that. He’ll get what he deserves one way or another.” She offered me a half-hearted smile.

  “I missed that.”

  “Missed what?”

  “You calling me baby.” I smiled as I pulled her closer to me, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and giving her a kiss on her temple.

  “I’m sure you missed more than just me calling you baby. If I were you, I would’ve missed my charm, good looks, constant compliments, and big dick.”

  “I see you haven’t lost your arrogance.”

  “You love it.”

  That finally elicited the smile that warmed my heart as she replied, “You’re right. I do.”

  Even with the time that had passed and the situation we had been through, it felt entirely natural to kiss her. For a moment, she let me do all the work; seeming to bask in what had taken us too long to get back. Then she grabbed my face and leaned against me making me fall onto the bed. Apparently my little kisses weren’t enough as she pulled my shirt over my head to kiss her way across my chest. She started making her way down my body with kisses until everything came to a sudden stop.

  “What’s the matter Ariel?”

  She sat up so that I could see her fully, doing her usual downward gaze as she said, “Umm…last night. You were with Erin. Are you guys…a thing?”

  “A thing? Nah, we’re not…a thing.” I used her words carefully to hopefully avoid going to an unnecessary place.

  “Why do I hear a but in that?”

  Damnit.

  “Look Ariel. I’m not gonna lie to you. I did let her give me head a couple times but it was while we were broken up. Last night, I was only dancing with her for the sake of celebration.” She seemed to be thinking my words over for a long moment before the corner of her lips turned up into a partial smile.

  “She can’t do you like I can anyway.”

  ariel.

  “Mr. Johnson, please understand that we have video footage proving you guilty of attempted sexual assault. If you were wise, you would settle on the agreed terms.” I really wanted to take the whole thing to trial and maybe even get an arrest but I knew that wasn’t likely to happen so I settled for the next best thing; a settlement large enough to start my own freelance promotions company and a little extra for good measure.

  “You can’t prove that’s him in the tape.” I could only sit nearby with a scowl as I watched the lawyer Jaz had hooked me up with go back and forth with Mr. Johnson’s representation. I couldn’t believe he was really denying the incident knowing good and well he had tried to rape me.

  “But I’m sure the millions of people who are fans of Mr. Johnson’s and the artists he works with would have no problem identifying him. I can only imagine how their interest in J&J may collapse with the knowledge.”

  Okay, he better be bluffing.

  There was no way I was letting that tape be seen by anyone other than the people that had already saw it for legal reasons. I watched as Mr. Johnson leaned in and whispered into his lawyer’s ear before the lawyer’s face turned to one of disgust.

  “Are you sure?” Mr. Johnson shook his head yes and his lawyer immediately loosened his tie as if the knot had him struggling to breath.

  “My... client has agreed to settle.”

  “Yes!” My lawyer jumped up and down which I knew was a little inappropriate for the environment once I saw the side-eye coming from the meeting’s mediator. I wanted to be as happy as him but I simply couldn’t be knowing my attacker would still be on the streets, just short a few mil. On the brighter sight of things, that few mil was more than enough to get me the hell out of here. NYC was a beautiful place, a place that I had easily fell in love with, but certainly not the place for me.

  Not anymore at least.

  After taking care of seemingly endless paperwork, the mediation finally came to a close and I was more than grateful that the weight of J&J had been lifted off of my shoulders. I thought about calling Jasmine and thanking her but I had something more important to do first. I took the subway to the station near Intergalactic Records and trudged through the fresh layer of snow that had fallen until I arrived at the building. I had only been there once, but I still remembered exactly where Jamison’s office was. Thankfully, the receptionist recognized me and let me past without any trouble.

  I knocked lightly before I opened the door to Jamison on the phone, exactly how I always pictured it. Feet on his executive desk, shirt a little loosened, sexy as ever.

  “Hey, can I call you back in a few? I have a very important visitor… Tomorrow? Great. Talk to you then.” He hung up the phone and wasted no time making his way over to me for a kiss.

  “Hey beautiful. How’d your meeting go?”

  “It’s done.” He took a step back, still holding onto my arms.

  “Done? Like done, done? Like you won?”

  “I won. The papers are signed. The transactions will be made.” He pulled me into a hug so tight I heard my back crack.

  “Congratulations baby! I told you everything would work out.”

  “This wasn’t exactly how I wanted things to go Jamison. You know I wanted jail time.”

  “But you’re also a realist who knew that jail time was the least likely option and that this was the next best thing.”

  “Yeah I guess you’re right. But that wasn’t the only news I came to share.” Now my heart was pounding. I wasn’t sure how Jamison would take my proposal but now was the best time to make it even though the curious look he was giving me had my heart in overdrive.

  “More good news?”

  “Kinda. I’m leaving New York City. Going back to Cali.” His reaction of dismay wasn’t exactly the one I was expecting but I suppose it was because I hadn’t given him all of the information. “And I want you to come with me.”

  He sighed - not a good sign -, before he delivered a reply, “Ariel, you know I’ve kind of established myself here at Intergalactic. I don’t know if me leaving would make a whole lot of sense.”

  “I’m starting my own freelance promotions company and I could use a heavily-sought after marketer like
you on my team.”

  He gave me a sly grin before he licked his lips and said, “So is this a business offer or a pleasure offer?”

  I leaned in a little closer, letting our gazes align before I licked my lips the same way he did his and replied, “What’s the fun in business if you can’t have a little pleasure?”

  Months later...

  jamison.

  “Wow Jamie. I can’t lie, I’m a little jealous. You think your girl may have some openings out here?” I smiled proudly as I showed Dawson around the office space Ariel had leased and designed for her company that was set to open for business in less than a week. It was still a little crazy how she convinced me to just up and leave the city, but nothing had ever felt more promising than this; business-wise and relationship-wise.

  “Probably. It would be kinda nice to have my partner in crime out here to take over the Cali scene with. You should ask her.”

  “Ask me what?” I turned around to find Ariel dressed down in sweatpants and a t-shirt but still breathtakingly beautiful. I waited as she made her way over to us before I wrapped my arm around her waist, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

  “Dawson wants a job. And I can personally vouch for him. He’d be a great hire.”

  “Anyone that can get you to vouch for them must be worth something. If you want a job, it’s yours.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Seriously. I can’t have my man doing all the marketing work around here. He’d never have time for the more important stuff, like spending time with me.” Dawson and I shared in a laugh even though Ariel was being dead ass serious.

  “Baby, trust me. You have nothing to worry about. When you’re the boss, you can do whatever you want; including summoning me for private meetings.” I kissed her on the lips, letting the sweet static we created linger until Dawson’s voice broke the electricity.

  “Alright, alright, that’s enough lovebirds. If I’m gonna work here, I’m definitely not being hired as Executive Third Wheel.” Ariel laughed her way out of my hold even though I was nowhere near done with her.