The Island

by Alice Ward

  “Would you mind a little company?” he asked, his chocolate eyes full of despair. I wanted to talk to him, to comfort him. But I was afraid to let him stay.

  “Won’t Renee get upset if you’re not back right away?” I asked. “How did you manage to get out here in the first place?”

  “Your dad was going to come check on you,” he explained as he pulled over an empty chair. “I volunteered to come instead and she couldn’t really argue. I won’t stay long… I just think that we should talk.”

  It was the first time we’d been alone together since Renee found us in the cabin. I’d been dreading the conversation I knew we had to have. But James wasn’t giving me much of a choice. He sat down, cleared his throat, and began.

  “The way I see it, we have two choices. We can call Mom’s bluff and see what happens, or we can play by her rules.”

  “The way I see it, we don’t have a choice at all,” I said, choking on my emotions. “I don’t think Renee’s bluffing. I don’t know how Daddy would react if he knew about all of this, and I don’t think I want to find out.”

  “Yeah… I don’t think she’s bluffing either,” he confessed, his voice barely a whisper. We both sat silently and watched the storm for a few moments.

  “I love you, James. I always will. I don’t know how we’re going to move on from here. But I know we have to try.”

  He nodded and swallowed the lump in his throat. “I know… I love you too, Willow. I can’t imagine that I’ll ever love anyone else the same.”

  The thought of him even attempting to love anyone else was a dagger to my soul, but I knew I couldn’t let that show. If either of us started crying, we’d end up finding comfort in each other’s arms again. And we couldn’t keep falling into each other. If Renee caught us again, it would be the end of life as we’d always known it.

  “I know it seems impossible,” I said. “But eventually, you’ll have to try to love someone else. We both will, James. Otherwise, we’ll spend our entire lives pining for each other.”

  “I think I’m going to leave Colorado, Willow. I can’t stay here, not right now… not if I can’t have you.”

  I nodded, still determined to keep my tears at bay. “How long will you be gone?”

  “As long as it takes to forget you,” he replied. “Maybe forever… at least until it doesn’t hurt so much. I’m going to wait until the paternity test results come in, so I can leave with a clear conscious.”

  “So you’ll be gone in a week?” I asked, staring out into the storm. I felt my pulse pounding in my neck and knew that I was nearing a breakdown.

  “I’m hoping to take off the day after the wedding… I want you to promise me something, Willow.”

  I would promise you anything… but I can give you nothing.

  “I need you to promise that you’ll never for settle for less than what we had,” he continued, his eyes fixed to the muddy floor. “Either find someone who makes you as happy or happier than I did, or wait for me.”

  “Wait for you?” I repeated his last words, trying to understand their meaning.

  “Mom thinks we’re too young to know that this is forever. But if a few years pass and our feelings don’t, maybe she’ll understand that we were right all along. I hate the thought of going years without you. But it’s better than the thought of going a lifetime.”

  Pain and hope coursed simultaneously through my body and I turned away from him before I fell into his arms. “I promise. Now please, you should get back to the house. Tell Daddy I’m fine and if the winds get worse, I’ll come home.”

  “You’re right, I’ve been gone too long already,” he agreed as he rose to his feet. “The last thing we need is Cole worrying about both of us.” He left the extra rain jacket on his chair and walked towards the door. Just before he stepped out into the storm, he paused and turned back to me.

  “I love you so much, Willow. And I’m so sorry.”

  “I love you too,” I said as silent tears rolled down my cheeks. “But please, I need you to leave now.”

  He disappeared into the darkness and I kept my composure until I was confident he was too far away to hear me. Then, I let myself have a good, hard cry that rivaled the volume of the storm raging outside.

  ***

  “I’m so sorry, Willow,” Matt said as he tossed an armful of tree limbs into a burn pile. “I knew I should have stayed with you last night. I can’t get the image of you crying alone in the barn out of my head.”

  “It’s okay,” I assured him, tears pricking my eyes once again at his concern. “I needed the time alone. As crazy as it may sound, crying in the rain was cathartic. I calmed down as the storm did and I woke up this morning feeling like it was a new beginning.” I added branches to the pile and we moved further into the pasture.

  The ranch had come through the storm with much less damage than I’d expected. Trees had been uprooted and part of the cattle barn’s roof had blown off, but other than the feed silo, nothing had been destroyed. We’d also been lucky with the livestock. Everything was covered in mud and a bit shaken, but we hadn’t lost a single animal. I decided to take it as a sign that something good was on the horizon.

  “I’m glad you feel better. But I still wish there was something I could do for you. How about we go to town for dinner tonight,” he suggested. “My treat.”

  I shook my head as we each lifted an end of a large oak branch. “I have to eat at home tonight. We’re having another wedding planning session. But if you don’t mind, I might come crash at your place afterwards. I can’t take Renee’s watchful eye much longer. I swear, I half expect her to put bells on the doors so she knows when I leave the house. I can’t move without her following me.”

  “You can crash with me anytime,” he said, looking at me with sympathy. Then he brightened. “I’ll pick up a bottle of wine on my way home. We should have a marathon of cheesy horror movies, those always make you feel better.”

  “I don’t know,” I laughed as we heaved the branch onto the pile. “I think reality has been horrific enough lately.” I checked the time as we walked back to the ATV.

  “Shit, Renee said dinner would be ready at six. It’s a quarter after five already and I really need a shower.”

  Matt slid behind the wheel and I crawled in beside him. “So we’re calling it a day?” he asked, pointing the ATV towards the gate.

  “The limbs aren’t going anywhere. It’ll be weeks before it’s dry enough to burn them. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the ranch so wet.”

  Mud flew around us Matt drove through the pasture. “You haven’t,” Matt said. “I heard on the news this morning that we haven’t had this much rain since the late sixties. And to make things even messier, we’re supposed to get light showers tonight.”

  “I know,” I groaned. “I can’t wait to get to New York.”

  “Just one more day until we leave,” he sang, lifting my spirits. “And three more days until Mondo makes history.”

  “From your lips to God’s ears,” I said as we pulled up to the house. I hopped down to the ground. “I’ll text when I’m heading your way.”

  “See you soon,” he called as he backed down the driveway.

  I stepped into the house and heard Daddy and Renee’s voices coming from the kitchen. I wasn’t in the mood to talk, so I quietly crept down the hallway and into my bedroom. I grabbed yoga pants and a t-shirt, made my way to the bathroom, and took a long, hot shower. I scrubbed my skin, imagining that I was washing away everything that had happened since James walked into my life. I tried to find comfort in the idea of us finding our way back together once Renee felt we were “old enough”, but solace never came. I knew I had to find a way to let him go, but I had no idea where to start.

  Maybe I should give Colby a call when we land in New York… he might be just the distraction to make me feel better.

  I dismissed the thought the moment after it crossed my mind. I wasn’t sure what I needed, but I was certain that Colby Spe
ncer wasn’t the answer. I turned off the shower and realized that the rainstorm had arrived early. I dressed quickly, pulled my hair into a ponytail, and joined Daddy and Renee in the kitchen.

  “Hey, pumpkin,” Daddy greeted me from his spot at the table. “I didn’t hear you come in. I was just about to walk down to the feed silo when the damn rain started again. Did you get a look at it today?”

  “Yes. Actually, I think I saw every inch of the ranch today. The bottom lands, at least. I took pictures of all of the damage and filed a claim with the insurance company. The silo is completely destroyed and it will probably be best to replace the entire roof on the cattle barn instead of trying to patch it. The rest of the damage is minor, busted troughs and that sort of thing. They’re supposed to send a claims agent out tomorrow.”

  “Willow, you’ve done such a wonderful job taking care of things for your father,” Renee said from the counter. By her tone, anyone would have thought she was my proud mother. She tossed chunks of zucchini into a bowl and started chopping a handful of mushrooms.

  “Thank you, Renee, but I can’t take all the credit. James and the other guys handled most of the manual labor today. I mostly sat on the ATV… speaking of James, I thought he’d be here by now,” I said, my voice friendly and my face as calm as I could make it. She flinched a little at her son’s name, but Daddy was lost in a newspaper and didn’t notice.

  Renee and I had been putting on quite a show for Daddy. When he was around, she did a fantastic job of acting like nothing had ever happened. She beamed at me with pride, gave me love filled compliments, and doted on me like I was her own child. I was taking advantage of it and mentioning James as much as possible. I knew that it infuriated her, but she couldn’t let it show. Not unless she wanted Daddy to catch on to the tension. She could force me to play by her rules, but I refused to be nice about it.

  “I thought he’d be here by now, too,” she agreed, turning back to the cutting board. She chopped violently at the mushrooms and I wondered if she was imagining my face.

  Daddy looked up from his newspaper. “The boy’s probably still working, despite the rain,” he said. “It’s certainly no reason to massacre those poor portabellas.”

  Renee blushed and slowed her movements. “I know. I just get so frustrated with him sometimes. He’s always late.”

  A knock echoed through the house and a few moments later, Dallas stepped into the kitchen.

  “Hey everyone, sorry to bother you,” he said, glancing around the room.

  “You’re never a bother. Sit down and have a glass of wine. Tell me what’s going on with the livestock,” Daddy insisted.

  Dallas looked at a chair but remained on his feet. He looked anxiously around the room again and then his eyes settled on Daddy. “We’ve got a few dozen with bruises and scrapes, that sort of stuff. But nothing serious and everything survived the storm… I’m sorry to change the subject, but do any of you know where James is?”

  I saw worry in Dallas’s tired eyes and realized that something was seriously wrong. My chest tightened with panic and the hair on the back of my neck stood up.

  “No, we were just talking about that,” Daddy answered. “I assumed he was still working.”

  Dallas shook his head and started pacing a short path on the tile floor. “We called it a day hours ago. I just stopped by the stables and Seven’s gone. With everything going on outside, that made me nervous. I went to his cabin first. When he wasn’t there, I was hoping he’d be here.”

  “I’ll try to call him,” I immediately volunteered. I raced to my bedroom and retrieved my phone. The screen lit up and I realized that James had sent me a text while I was in the shower.

  “Need time to think, so I’m riding up to the badlands. Tell the parents I won’t be at dinner.”

  Well, at least we know where he is.

  My heartbeat slowed back to normal as I returned to the kitchen. “I missed a text from him. He took Seven for a ride in the mountains. He said not to expect him home for dinner.”

  Dallas’s face turned ghost white, but I was the only one who noticed. He opened his mouth, but Renee started talking before he could get a word out.

  “Well, surely he started for home once the rain blew in,” Renee insisted. “But who knows? His judgment isn’t always the best.” She glared at me for half a second and then the exaggerated smile returned to her face. The blinking blue notification light on my phone caught my attention as I turned away from her.

  What else did I miss?

  I swiped the screen and stared down at the news alert in horror.

  This can’t be happening. It’s a nightmare. God please, PLEASE let this be a nightmare.

  I looked up at Dallas and knew that I was wide awake.

  “Willow, what was that message?” Renee demanded. “And why does Dallas look like someone has died? Would someone please tell me what’s going on?”

  Dallas cleared his throat. “Come into the living room. You need to see the news.”

  He turned and left the kitchen without giving her a chance to argue. Renee rushed to follow him while I helped Daddy up from the table.

  “What’s going on, pumpkin?” he asked, his voice soft and concerned.

  “I’m not exactly sure, Daddy. Let’s go watch the news.”

  We stepped into the living room and found Renee and Dallas standing in front of the TV. Daddy moved to stand next to Renee, but I stayed behind them. I didn’t need to see the screen. The volume was turned up and the news anchor’s voice filled the room.

  “If you’re just tuning in, due to record doubling rainfalls, a mud and rockslide warning has been issued for all of La Plata County. Seven slides have already been confirmed, leaving nine injured, one in critical condition.”

  Daddy pulled his phone from his jeans’ pocket and stepped back into the kitchen. I knew without asking that he was calling the hospital. Renee stood frozen in place, her eyes fixed on the TV. I dialed James and his line went straight to voicemail.

  “The most damaging slides are occurring just outside of Durango in the San Juan National Forrest and the surrounding badlands,” the anchor continued. I felt my knees go week and collapsed onto the couch.

  We own the surrounding badlands… he’s right in the middle of the worst of it.

  Tears rolled down my face as I pictured James trapped helpless under a pile of mud and boulders. Of him trying to breathe and inhaling dirt instead. I shut my eyes. I knew I shouldn’tbe thinking like that. But…

  This is almost exactly what happened to Mom. Which means that James has to be fine. The mountain already took one person I loved, it wouldn’t take another. Nature isn’t that cruel.

  But deep down, I knew the truth. Nature was unforgiving and accidents happened every day. My mother’s death wasn’t a vaccine that protected me from similar loss. All I could do was pray and hope someone upstairs was listening.

  “James isn’t in the hospital,” Daddy announced as he returned to the room. “I left my number with the desk nurse and she promised to call if he’s brought in.”

  My heart sank at the news. I’d hoped to hear that James was at the hospital with a few bumps and bruises. I didn’t want him to be hurt, but anything would have been better than knowing he was still out there. I stood up, grabbed my rain jacket, and moved for the door.

  “Willow, what are you doing?” Dallas asked. The concern in his voice told me that he already knew the answer.

  “I’m going to the barn,” I lied. I zipped the jacket and pulled the hood over my hair. “All of my business contacts are on my office computer. I’m going to make some calls and see if I can put together a search party. You’re in no condition to go after James,” I said to Daddy. “And I know none of you are going to let me do it. I’ll see if I can find someone who has experience with search and rescue.”

  Renee pointed at the TV and cleared her throat. “They’re recommending that we evacuate,” she said, her voice a hoarse whisper.

  “T
hat’s just a precaution. We’re not going anywhere while James is missing,” Daddy assured her. “Willow, go make your calls. I’ll reach out to some of my friends as well. I promise, Renee. We’ll get him home safely.” He wrapped an arm around her and led her to the loveseat. They sat down together while I rushed to the door. I was halfway down the porch steps when Dallas called out to me.

  “Willow, wait.”

  “There’s no time,” I called over my shoulder.

  “I know what you’re doing,” he called back. “You’re going after him. Wait for me, or I’ll go right back inside and tell Cole what you’re up to.”

  I stopped and waited for him to join me at the top of the driveway. “How did you know?” I asked when he reached me.

  “You love him,” he answered simply. “I’ve seen the way the two of you look at each other. I know you’ve been trying to hide it, I caught on a while ago.”

  I blushed and stared down at the mud. “Does anyone else know?” I asked, my voice shaking with nerves, my heart pounding in panic.

  “No, sweetheart,” he assured me, his eyes gentle and kind. “I only noticed because… well, because the two of you remind me of your mom and dad. Rose looked at Cole the exact same way you look at James. I’m not going to stop you from going after him, but I’m coming with you.”

  “Renee found out,” I blurted out. “She demanded that we end things.” My voice was laden with anger.

  He reached out and squeezed my shoulder. “We’ll find a way around that,” he assured me. “But first, let’s go find the man you love.”

  THE END

  Continue on to read Part 5 in the next page.

  Love All Out

  PART 5

  CHAPTER 1

  I paid little attention to the needling rainfall as Dallas and I raced to the stables. I didn’t have time to feel grateful for his help or embarrassed that he knew my secret. The mountains around us were alive with the sounds of snapping trees and rushing waters. And James was out there, alone in the worst of it. In my heart, I knew we may already be too late.