I said it to embarrass her, and I hoped to God I did. What else were best friends for?
“I have to pee,” I declared loudly, boldly, and if I might add, proudly.
Declan’s mouth hung agape, as if he couldn’t believe I just said that. Well, the poor boy had it in for a rough weekend if he thought that was uncouth or whatever.
Shrugging, I added, “Just thought you guys should know.” I went to the bathroom, silently amazed that they had their own private bathroom in their dorm room, for just the two of them. No communal bathroom necessary. I was so fucking jealous it hurt. Once the door was closed, I shouted, “Hey, this is actually pretty clean. I’m surprised.”
I didn’t really have to pee. I just stared at myself in the mirror, wondering what the hell I was doing. This…this might be the worst weekend of my entire life, if I ended up doing what I planned on doing.
Fuck it. You know what? I didn’t care. I didn’t care if I ended up regretting every single thing I did this weekend. Wasn’t that what life was about? Living it to the fullest, not having any regrets? I wouldn’t regret this. I wouldn’t. It wasn’t like I was going out and cheating on Levi, because we weren’t together.
When I exited the bathroom, I gave them both a smile. Declan and Ash looked like they were in deep conversation, but I asked anyways, “Do you guys mind if we get an early night tonight? I plan on rocking Hillcrest tomorrow, but I’m feeling jet-lagged from that trip.”
Ash laughed, while Declan spoke seriously, “How are you jet-lagged from a drive? Don’t you only get that from long plane rides?”
All I did was laugh and mock whisper to Ash, loud enough that Declan could hear, “So cute. Definitely a keeper.” Once I gathered everything I’d need to wind down for the night—my toothbrush, a change of clothes, and my hairbrush, since apparently my head was a mess of knots—I added, “And it’s obvious someone’s never spent a long time in a car before. It’s tiring, you know!”
We all got ready for bed, and I made Ash a bit more mortified by telling her that I’d give her five bucks to go over and cuddle with him in his own bed. Hey, when you went all out, you went all out. No holding back for me this weekend.
Eventually Ash and I crammed ourselves onto her bed and ducked under the sheets. We texted back and forth for a while, silently giggling when the other said something funny. It reminded me of a time long gone, what we used to do, way back when. God, it really felt like ages ago we were in high school.
I knew things would never be the same as they were back then, but still, I hoped to get some of the magic back. What was the point of life if all the magic was gone? If there was no fun to be had anymore? What the fucking hell was the point of all of this if you couldn’t let loose and have fun when you wanted to forget the drama?
Mom was right. I was a bitch to guys. I pushed them away when they got too close, and Levi? Levi had done everything wrong. He’d done everything wrong and now it was my turn to do something wrong. Tit for tat.
Tit for fucking tat.
Chapter Twenty-Nine – Kelsey
Declan had wanted to come. What a ridiculous cutie. I made some comment about not wanting other people to think we were together, or him cramping my style. I didn’t have much style, but I had some.
Okay, a little.
A teeny, tiny bit. Almost immeasurable.
My brown hair was freshly-cleaned and curled, falling down my back in soft waves. I’d lined my eyes with black eyeliner and red eyeshadow, and my lips carried a matte red stain. My shirt was very tight, the kind of shirt you had to do a little dance to get into. It was also red to match the rest of me. My jeans were also of the skintight variety, having paint splatters on them. I’d chosen black flats for shoes, knowing I’d need shoes that were easy to walk around in.
Ash was the Yin to my Yang. Her hair was straight, the pink in its lengths the only bit of color on her besides white and silver. Her grey eyes were lined with thick black kohl, her eyelashes long. The word God was scribbled onto her nametag, the angel in the darkness. A bit grungy, but hey, definitely a god among men.
Me? I thought everyone knew what I was by now.
The Devil. She was God, and I was the Devil. I didn’t believe in those things, but tonight we’d play our part. She’d watch over me, make sure I didn’t lose myself too hard, and I’d tempt her to the dark side while trying to get some dick.
Declan was a total noob, asking again if he could come. I shut him up by embarrassing him, telling him to watch porn with the speakers on. Wasn’t that something guys did? Watch loads of porn? I bet he was feeling deprived since he roomed with Ash. If Declan and Ash had done any hanky-panky-spanky, I would’ve heard of it by now.
Ash and I walked to my car, only getting Declan off our backs by promising to text him the address of the party. I guess it was smart, just in case something happened, but come on. This wasn’t my first rodeo, or my first college party. This was like stepping back into an old skin.
We made it to my car. As Ash buckled up and I did the same, I fumbled with my phone, telling it to map the way to Stanton. I knew it was nearby, but I didn’t know the area. It was a bit warmer here than it was at SCC, so there was that. Not that it was summertime here, but whatever. I started driving us there.
“So your plan is literally just to drive to Stanton and see what party we can crash?” Ash asked me after a while, shooting me a small smile. She looked good with her makeup—she hardly ever wore makeup. Same with me. Too poor to afford the fancy eye palettes that cost forty bucks for eight things of eyeshadow.
I nodded eagerly. “Yep.”
“You’d think after driving all the way here, you’d have a better plan than that.”
Tossing her a mock glare, I said, “Hey, I’ll have you know that there is more to the plan than that.” It involved vampires, every tween girl’s dream. Tonight I was going to fulfill that destiny. Bang me a fanger.
“Then what is this bright, amazing plan of yours, huh?”
I could tell Ash didn’t believe me, and it kind of annoyed me. Not much, but a bit. She never questioned my plans before. Maybe time had changed us both. Her, for the better; me, for the worse.
“Well, we find a party, I park this amazing beauty, and we crash it,” I started. We were already on the streets around Stanton. Since it was a local community college, most of its campus was intersected by roads. “And,” I went on, pulling the rust bucket off on the side of the road. We were on a side street near Stanton’s main campus, near the Greek houses, from what I could tell. Me and Greek didn’t really mix, but I would have to swallow my aversion to those fancy letters for one night, at least.
No thinking of Levi.
“If it doesn’t happen to be a costume party—which I so hope it is, because Halloween is in two fucking days and I need to fuck a vampire—we can take these off and boom! Normal outfits.” I thought my idea was a grand one, but Ash clearly thought otherwise.
Ash watched me turn the car off, lifting her blonde brows slowly. “You want to fuck a vampire?”
I shot back, “Don’t act like you’ve never thought about it. I mean, if vampires were real and, you know, out like they were in True Blood, I’d definitely be a fang-banger.”
She laughed, and we got out of the car.
“I am being one hundred percent serious, Ash. I don’t even care if he looks like Edward Cullen. Give me Dracula, give me Edward, give me Spike or Angel—I don’t care. I really don’t.”
“I know,” Ash muttered, still giggling, as we headed to the sidewalk. Looked like a party at a Greek house a few houses down. A bunch of people stood outside in the front, sipping from red cups.
And, by God, they were dressed up.
Yes. A costume party. How fucking fortuitous.
I glanced at my nametag as we walked to the house. “The Devil and a vampire. The perfect combination.” Wasn’t sure whether or not it really was a perfect combination, but I didn’t care. We were here now, and our costumes were c
heap. So what if the makeup we used was a bit old and crusty? So what if other girls looked better in their slutty police uniforms and nurse outfits?
This was our night. My night. This was the night I needed to lose it all.
I led us inside the house. It was just what you’d imagine a college Halloween party to be. Music, alcohol, skimpy outfits and guys wearing latex who had no reason whatsoever to wear latex. Ash stuck by me as we headed through the house, right through the kitchen, and out into the back, where a bonfire sat, along with a bunch of coolers.
I went to the nearest cooler, pulling out a beer as I said, “Awesome. Let’s scope some hotties out—”
We needn’t have looked far, for a tall man came up to us, grinning. His blonde hair was combed to the side, and he wore a hotdog suit. One of those guys who wore latex who should not be wearing latex. Not my kind of hottie. I liked the ones with a bit of beef on them—and I meant their arms, not their guts or their, uh, hotdog suits.
He zeroed in on me instantly, barely looking at Ash. “Hello, Devil,” he said, flashing us his teeth. “I’m—”
I gave him a shrug, cutting in, “Sorry, buddy. Not tonight.” With my beer in one hand, I used my other to hook my arm through Ash’s and lead us back inside, away from hotdog guy.
“At least he understood our costumes,” Ash mumbled under her breath.
“I know, but I don’t care. I just want a vampire.” At least that was the truth. I practically downed the beer in a few moments, eyeing up the crowd dancing near the speakers that were almost too huge to be real. I spotted a dude with a cape and some black hair. He looked like he had muscles enough, although he was currently dancing with some chick in an army getup that barely held in her tits.
Once my beer was gone, I set the bottle down, tossing Ash a look. I was going in. Into the fray, and I had my target. A nameless Stanton guy, someone whose name I didn’t know—didn’t want to know. Someone who I’d never have to see again, someone I could forget after tonight.
That wasn’t too much to hope for, was it?
I left Ash as I pushed my way through the dancing crowd. Ash would be fine. She was the level-headed one out of the two of us, and right now she knew enough to stand back and let me have my pick of the dick around here. Mr. Vampire in a Cape, you’ll do. You’ll do just fine.
The girl he was dancing with, grinding against, however? She would not do. Had to get that chick out of the picture.
She was pretty enough, I guess. Thin, with an ass even I was jealous of. Her hair was brown, and as I got closer, I noticed her nails matched her camo uniform. It wasn’t a real uniform, because no one in the army would be caught dead in that, but it was Halloween. We let silly things like reality slide.
Their fronts were pressed together, and if they didn’t have clothes on, they’d be having sex right here and now. Getting them apart was going to take some work, but the moment I saw the guy’s face, I knew it had to be him. He looked like was drunk already, and his eyes—such a sad, beautiful hue—reminded me of Levi’s eyes, even though this guy’s were green.
He was hot. A hot, mindless guy. Perfect for me, really.
I tapped the girl’s shoulder, causing her head to whip in my direction. She radiated bitch, so I knew I had to tread carefully. “Mind if I cut in?” I asked, about to cut in whether she wanted me to or not. If I had to beat a bitch away from my vampire man-candy, I would.
“We’re a little busy here,” she said, turning her face away from me.
I turned to the guy, whose eyes had moved to me. He looked like he was completely out of it, which was probably the only reason why I had the confidence to say, “Why don’t you ditch the bitch and let a real woman show you a good time?”
It was not hard to pull the vampire dude away from the army chick after that, even though the army chick put up a fight.
To her, I said, “Look, there’s a bunch of other horny guys here who’d love to give you a go. I came here looking to fuck a vampire. Give a girl a pass, okay?”
The girl glanced between me and the vampire dude, and it was as the vampire dude set his hands on me and pulled me closer to him, grinding his already-present erection against my ass that she finally rolled her heavily-mascaraed eyes and groaned. Within a moment though, that groan turned into a smile. A slow, steady smile that made something in my gut clench. I didn’t like that smile, but there was nothing I could do about it as she pushed out of the crowd and left.
The guy I grinded on was strong. He had muscles for days, and it was the exact kind of body I wanted to get lost in. Muscles that weren’t Levi’s, eyes that weren’t that soul-crushingly blue. A different man, a different dick.
I lost myself in the rhythm for a while. It wasn’t my kind of music, but it was a good beat, which made it easier to grind myself against his hard dick with each dip of my body. The guy behind me was raring to go, I knew, but I wanted to savor this. This would be my hookup for the night; I wasn’t going to go for a homerun with every dude here. No, this cape-wearing fanger was it.
Although, I realized as I turned around and stared up at his face, he wasn’t wearing fangs.
Oh, well. You couldn’t win them all, could you?
Time was a blur, but eventually I ran my hands along his shoulders, touching the muscles underneath the cape, under his clothes. God, this guy was like a Greek God, only real. His face was chiseled in all the right places. He was, undoubtedly, one of the hottest guys I’d ever seen.
He still wasn’t Levi, but this night wasn’t about him. This night was about me.
About me getting some dick.
“Why don’t we take this upstairs?” I suggested, practically having to shout over the music. Once the guy nodded, I grabbed his hand and led us out of the crowd, up the stairwell. We passed a few couples making out on our way up.
I should be feeling antsy, giddy. I felt his dick through his pants, so I knew he was packing. This was going to be great, a super fun time…or at least that’s what I should be thinking. It’s what I should believe, as I dragged the nameless vampire to each bedroom I could find, finding that they were all already occupied with other people getting down.
It wasn’t what I felt, though. It wasn’t what I thought. All this time, my mind kept flashing red and telling me not to do this. Levi’s face kept popping up, and I—fuck—I just wanted to forget about that blue-eyed man for one night. One weekend. Was that too much to ask?
I hated him. I…I didn’t know what I felt, but I knew Levi and me could never happen, not after what he did to Mel. For God’s sake, he slept with Mel, broke her heart, and then she tried to kill herself.
Yeah. That baggage was too much for me.
The only room that wasn’t occupied was, of course, the bathroom. I was going to get my wish, to fuck a vampire, but I was going to do it in a bathroom. Ugh. Just my luck, I guessed.
“Come on,” I said, pulling him into the bathroom. “You up for a challenge? Have you ever fucked a girl in a bathroom before?”
“I’ve fucked girls everywhere,” he muttered, his voice broken and haggard. Was he maybe too drunk to perform? His dick was hard, but would he be able to cum? I mean, technically that wasn’t my problem, but you know, I’d fallen into the hole society had dug that said if a man didn’t cum, it technically wasn’t really sex.
Stupid.
But at least I knew this guy could talk.
Not that I wanted to hear his voice, but whatever.
Once we were both in the bathroom, I reached to yank the door shut. Him and I hardly fit in here, but we’d make it work. I reached into my back pocket, holding a condom wrapper between two fingers. One of the things I was trying to be better at. Trying to, being the operative words here.
I wasn’t so careful with Levi. We fucked wherever and whenever we could, and I—
No. No more about Levi. Levi was the last thing on my mind right now.
“Pull down your pants, big boy,” I told him, bringing the wrapper to my teeth and te
aring open while gazing up at his emerald stare. His pupils were super dilated, and a part of me wondered if he wasn’t only drunk. Was this guy stoned too?
He was quick about it, tugging down his pants and his boxers and yanking the condom out of my hands, rolling it on like a pro.
Well, fuck. Too late to turn back now. If he was stoned out of his mind, he could still get it up and get it on, so…okay, then.
My eyes glanced down to his dick, and an uneasy feeling sank in my gut. I didn’t want to do this, not really. The brave face I’d put on before was just a show. This was me trying to prove to myself that Levi didn’t mean anything, that he hadn’t hurt me by what he did—because how could a man hurt me if I didn’t care about him?
But, as I turned and worked on my jeans, as I pulled down my pants and bared my ass to this stranger, I knew I was wrong. I’d lied to Ash, to myself, to Levi. I knew what I felt for Levi, and maybe that was the scariest thing.
Somewhere along the way, sometime during the drama, the lies and the truths, I’d fallen in love with him.
God damn it.
Chapter Thirty – Kelsey
The moment I felt him poke my entrance, I felt sick. Deep down I knew I shouldn’t be doing this, but did it mean that my logic, that the little angel on my shoulder would win out? Fuck no. I was Kelsey Yates. This was what I did. I didn’t go falling in love left and right like some pathetic wimp.
My fingers gripped the edges of the vanity before me, and I couldn’t stare at the mirror resting on the wall opposite me above the sink. I didn’t want to see the guy’s face as he pushed into me from behind, didn’t want to know what he looked like when he was balls-deep inside of me.
How could I? He wasn’t Blue.
Oh, fuck. There was no taking back what I was doing, no redos or do-overs, but maybe that was for the best. Clearly Levi and I weren’t good together.
When the vampire dude filled me up, I bit my bottom lip to stop myself from groaning. It was hard to stay quiet though, especially when his thrusting grew harder, fiercer, rougher. His fingers gripped my sides, and I closed my eyes, wishing that everything was different.
Mistakes : A College Bully Romance Page 18