When Our Worlds Collide

by Iler, Lindsey

  Craig ran his hand through his tousled blonde hair pulling my attention back to his face. “Sneaking out? I’m usually the one doing that,” he smiles trying to be playful, but it comes across as more threatening. It’s too early for this kind of banter and my head is now pounding like there’s a family of elephants taking up residency.

  “I was just going to go find Violet is all.” I look around the room at the mess that’s below my feet. It looks like a bomb went off in here. There are piles of clothes and stacks of magazines. Not to mention the heap of video game counsels and games stacked in the corner. Guys are disgusting.

  “Kennedy, it’s okay. I don’t need an explanation.” His grin got larger with every word. I feel like I’m out of the loop on something. He rubs his eyes to help force himself awake. I don’t know what to say now so I keep my attention on anything but him. I’m not sure exactly what had happened last night. The grin that reaches all the way to his eyes tells me that we didn’t just fall asleep next to each other.

  Oh god, please do not let me have lost my virginity the same night I had my first kiss and not remember it. I don’t want to be that girl.

  “We didn’t…Umm…” I point between the two of us nervously avoiding eye contact with him, fearful of what he might say.

  He laughs at my awkwardness. “No we didn’t. Not that I would’ve been against it, but you were pretty wasted and I try to avoid taking advantage of helpless girls,” Craig explains with a sweet grin. “I brought you up here once everyone started clearing out and Violet seemed pretty occupied with Dan. I figured it was safer for you to sleep it off in here instead of down there with the rest of them.”

  “Instead I slept up here with you, which was much safer for me how?” I attempt a joke. At least I thought I was joking. A small part of me doubted how safe I was alone with someone like him. Craig’s face drops at my obvious disapproval at my actions from last night. Maybe that was a bit too harsh. I don’t know anything about Craig. I have no right to jump to conclusions at the type of person he is when I don’t know firsthand.

  “You’ll be happy to know that I was a complete gentleman and that was extremely difficult for me.”

  “I’m sure it was. Nothing happened between us?” I asked again embarrassed that I can’t even remember getting up to his room.

  “Oh no, I just said we didn’t have sex. We kissed,” Craig explains with an excitement in his eyes. “A lot. Don’t sound too upset. We can jump back into this bed and finish what we started if you’d like.” I didn’t mean to, but I bit down on my lip and Craig’s eyes burned into my skin with a sinful afterthought. “You know, biting down on that little lip of yours is exactly what got us into this little predicament to begin with.”

  Craig is flirtatious and I’m not sure what to do about him. Last night is a complete blur. I can’t believe I had my first kiss and I don’t even remember it. I need to find Violet and maybe she could fill in the missing pieces of my night. She’ll find the humor in the situation with a lot of laughter and accusing eyes.

  “Did Violet stay here last night?” I ask turning to open the door, attempting my best at a subject change from his proposition.

  “Last time I saw her she was curled up in Dan’s lap. I’m going to take a wild guess and say that they are probably sleeping on the back deck.” Craig stands from the bed letting the blanket fall to the floor. He opens the door further and gestures for me to follow him out. “I can help you find her.”

  I blush at the sight of seeing Craig standing in the hallway shutting his bedroom door. It’s not secret he’s gorgeous with his dirty blonde hair that looks way too perfect this early in the morning and perfectly tanned skin. When he turns to look at me his deep blue eyes make me lose my balance. I stumble into a decorative table that has a large gold mirror hanging above it. I look up at my reflection to get a reprieve from his knowing glances. I’m greeted by something that shouldn’t be seen by any one of the opposite sex. I look like a complete train wreck.

  “Holy crap! I look like…” I attempt to brush down my hair and rub out the remainder of my eye makeup with my fingers that has smeared under my eyelids. Craig comes up behind me and brushes my hair to one side exposing my neck.

  “You look just fine to me,” he whispers in my ear. I hadn’t even noticed he has walked up behind me. Now I am too well aware of how close his chest is pressing into my back from the heat of his bare chest creeping through my dress. I tense up and he lets out a small laugh knowing exactly what he’s doing to me. “Now let’s go find that friend of yours.” Craig smacks me on the butt making me jump.

  I let Craig walk in front of me. The view isn’t bad from back here by the way. I have to keep reminding myself that whatever happened was never going to happen again. Once we make it down the stairs we are greeted by the horrible stale smell of alcohol. There are red cups scattered on every flat surface in the house. Girls are passed out in chairs with half of the clothes disheveled. A girl even managed to pass out blocking the front door.

  “Is it always like this?” I step over a body that belongs to the football player that confronted Graham the other day in the hallway. Deacon, I think his name is. I debate on kicking him in the stomach, but fight back the urge. Not exactly the way to make friends.

  “I don’t know. Maybe you’ll come back to find out,” he looks back at me and smiles. God he has an amazing smile. How have I never noticed it? I shake the thought from my head. It only takes a quick second to remind myself that I don’t belong with these people.

  “Maybe, but let’s find Violet. I’m sure her parents are freaking out,” I lied. They probably didn’t even notice we hadn’t come back last night. I just need out of Craig’s knowing stares. He’s looking at me like he’s seen me naked.

  Craig walks out onto the back porch. I’m only a few steps away and that’s when I understood the expression on his face. Violet’s laying in one of the lawn chairs naked from the waist down wearing nothing but Dan’s flannel shirt. Luckily she must have decided to put her underwear back on at some point or else we all would have gotten a free show.

  “Wake up slut,” I kick her chair. Craig stifles a laugh and I glare back at him. I can’t stop myself from laughing when I see his face though. He’s truly losing it. His laugh is the kind that’s contagious. You can’t help the good mood it puts you in.

  Violet blocks the sun from her eyes quickly. “Slut? Bitch, I’m not the one who slept in Craig’s bed last night. Did he put the wood to you good?” Violet opens her eyes fully as she speaks and looks at the both of us standing above her. “I mean look at him. That’s not fair. He probably has a big dick. Am I right? You have a huge dick don’t you because none of the rest of you would make sense if you didn’t. The world would seem unfair if you were only packing a smoky link instead of the kielbasa I’m sure is under those gym shorts.”

  “Before you start cracking insults at your best friend you might want to look down at yourself,” Craig intervenes trying not to laugh at her obvious fascination with his kielbasa. I wink at him in thanks for jumping to my defense against a very naked Violet. I’m surprised by the boldness of the gesture. It’s clearly unlike me. I’m more of a gentle wave head nod kind of girl. Violet glides her hands down her body and sits up a little bit straighter realizing what Craig’s talking about.

  “Not again. Where the hell is Dan at? He has my dress.” She throws the middle finger up at Craig who’s now leaning up against the railing smiling like the cat that ate the canary.

  I glance back over towards him swatting him on the stomach. “This has happened before?” I asked in shock.

  “Every time,” he grins at me. “Violet, check the boat house. I bet he’s passed out in there.”

  Violet jumps up from the lawn chair prancing down to the boat house leaving Craig and I alone again. I wish I had an ounce of her boldness. I’m beginning to understand why I have avoided coming here with Violet for so long. Parties like Craig’s are filled with low self-esteem a
nd debauchery.

  I can’t believe I let myself drink that much last night and slept in Craig’s bed. This is not something that I did and Craig knows it by the way he’s looking at me from his spot against the railing. I feel corrupted and a bit ashamed of myself. Those aren’t great feelings to start off the day.

  “You’re never coming back, are you?” Craig leans forward with his eyes intently on me. Every muscle in his abdomen flexes gaining my attention. I had to fight back the urge to reach out and run my hands down his body. What has gotten into me?

  “We’ll see. I don’t exactly belong here,” I smile at him and this time it’s genuine. He doesn’t say anything and he doesn’t need to. We both know it’s true. We sit in silence until we hear Violet shouting to Dan in the boat house to get him to wake up. A few minutes later she walks out wearing her dress and a big smile on her face. I can see the questions piling up in her head. She’s going to have a field day with this.

  “Oh girl, you and I need to have a much needed conversation,” Violet winks at me in encouragement. She throws her hand up to high five Craig as she walks by straight into the house without stopping. I follow after her. Craig stays back, but I hear him say something about talking to me later.

  Doubtful.

  “Oh Kennedy, hold on a second,” Craig yells racing into the house to catch up to us. Violet shrugs her shoulders in confusion as he tucks a long strand of hair behind my ear then leans down and kisses me. I know I should step back out of his reach, but I’m stunned stupid and if I’m being honest, I don’t want him to stop. He pulls his lips from mine too soon. “Violet’s right, you know. It’s huge.”

  Craig leaves me standing in his kitchen while Violet laughs her ass off uttering nonsense under her breath about how she knew he was bound to have a big dick and that I was in so much trouble. The ride back to her house is quiet. By the look on my face, she can tell that I’m in desperate need of some food in my stomach. We walk into her kitchen and as soon as I have my bagel smothered with cream cheese she starts rattling off question after question.

  “Slow down. One question at a time and you have to promise not to judge,” I demand taking a giant bite of my bagel.

  “I just had to exchange a flannel shirt for my dress with a guy who I slept with last night. I am hardly in the position to judge you,” she laughs pouring two glasses of orange juice handing one to me. “Now, what happened with Craig?”

  I let out a long breath. “That’s where my night gets foggy. I remember playing beer pong with him. I also remember watching you play guitar hero and him getting rather handsy, but everything after that goes blank.” I pause to think about the night for a minute. Violet patiently waits for me to piece it all together on my own. “Wait! That’s when we went upstairs.”

  “Did you sleep with him? Oh my god! You must be sore. Becky told me she could barely walk afterwards.” Violet’s eyes are wide with excitement. I roll mine at her because what am I supposed to say to that?

  “Pull yourself together. Nothing like that happened. He said we only kissed and I’d hope I would remember losing my virginity. I was too drunk basically to function on my own which is probably one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.” I confess picking at the bagel in front of me taking another big bite. “I’m never drinking like that again. This is your fault.” I point at Violet who’s leaning against the counter across from me with her eyes down casted towards me.

  “It is not my fault. I wasn’t holding your hand up those stairs. That was all you and all that sexual tension trying to rip its way out of you at any cost. How is it possible that you’re still holding tight to your virginity? Are we still waiting for someone special?”

  I looked over the rim of my glass before taking a big gulp avoiding her question. “I have a question though.” I took a deep breath before asking. I didn’t want to throw a red flag up too quickly. “Was I talking to Graham last night?” I have a feeling that something happened last night, but putting my finger on it seemed to be the problem. A big cloud of fog is blocking a lot of the night from breaking through.

  “Yes, you guys looked like you were arguing about something. He didn’t seem very happy. In fact he looked pretty freaking pissed all night. What was that all about anyways? I meant to ask you last night, but got a little…busy,” Violet asks. I didn’t know how to answer her.

  “I was upset with him earlier this week about an assignment in Government class, so I’m sure it was about that,” I lie refusing to look at her. Violet always can tell when I am lying. Thankfully she leaves it at that. The hangover must be slowing down her perception.

  The rest of my Sunday went by in a hung over haze. Violet and I spent most of the day watching old movies and eating anything we could get our hands on. This was her normal hangover cure. Something she has claimed to perfect. Her mom and dad had passed by her room a few times simply waving and exchanging minor pleasantries. Neither of them seemed to notice or care where we had been last night. If we were at my house, it would have been a different story. I wasn’t sure if this was a blessing or a curse.

  By the time I got home it was already after seven. I greeted my parents and went straight into my room to work on homework. At some point in the night I must have fallen asleep. My textbooks were still sprawled out around me. When I woke it was still dark out. I grabbed for my phone to check the time and saw that it was already three in the morning. The red light was blinking indicating I had a missed text message from a number I didn’t recognize.

  It’s Craig. Hope u dont mind Violet gave me ur number. Of course she did. I continued to read the text. I ran into her earlier she said that she couldn’t pick u up in the morning. I’m gonna swing by and get u before school. Of course she can’t. Hope its okay with you. No it’s not.

  I wonder if I could skip school tomorrow.

  Chapter Eighteen

  -Graham-

  Okay, I’ll admit it. Kennedy has managed to crawl to the deepest depths of my skin. The way she talks to me surprises the hell out of me. Ever since the accident she has been considerate and forgiving in spite of everything working against me. She lied for me. There was no other way to twist it. Kennedy had lied to everyone and I spent most of my time working the reasons over in my head instead of trying to earn that loyalty. Nothing fit together. It’s an imperfect puzzle that’s missing a few too many pieces causing the big picture to come through distorted.

  I also know that while I am busy trying to convince myself that a friendship with Kennedy is so damn important for reasons I still can’t understand I have pushed her directly into the sticky arms of Craig. I saw the way they were acting with each other on Saturday. She went upstairs with him and I let her go. There was nothing written across her forehead that declared her mine to possess. I’m having a jealous reaction and I’m not sure I like it. I’m not even sure if I want there to be anything to be jealous about.

  I had dropped Amanda off Sunday morning after she spent the night with me. Luckily my father was out of town and Mom was too oblivious to notice me sneaking her out early in the morning. I had dragged her out of Craig’s in a rush and she obliged by following me with a grin the size of mars plastered on her face. With Amanda things are easy. She knows what I like and what I don’t. She also understands that nothing is going to evolve from our “relationship” no matter how badly she may want it to. She isn’t into asking too many questions, she doesn’t expect much from me and doesn’t have too high of expectations of the type of guy she thinks I am.

  Amanda asked for me to pick her up before school on Monday before jumping out of my car Sunday. I make up an excuse why I can’t in a way to push her away trying to put some distance between us until I can figure some things out.

  I pull in the parking lot nearly five minutes before the first bell rang Monday morning. My heart begins to race uncontrollably. Why am I nervous? This is my school, where everyone adores me (except maybe one person) and I’m acting like I’m the new kid. I’ve got to pu
ll my shit together. Fuck.

  Craig’s truck passenger door swings open and pair of familiar toned legs appears. Kennedy turns to look at Craig who’s teasing her with the pair of crutches that are in the cab of the truck. She throws her head back in a fit of laughter. Although I’m not by her side to hear it I remember what it sounds like. Jealousy roars its ugly head again and I find myself wishing I am the one who drove her to school. What the fuck has gotten into me? I don’t act like this about girls. I hook up with them and that’s it. That is all.

  Saturday was the first time I had ever heard Kennedy actually laugh. Her laughter had the ability to stop people in their tracks. It’s something to admire. I don’t want to admit it, but she’s something to admire. Maybe there is a reason why I’m feeling jealous.

  Craig makes his way over to my car that’s only a few down from his. “You split out early on Saturday,” he yells. It’s more of a question than a simple fact. I turn my attention towards Kennedy for a fleeting moment before answering. Her expressions impassive, her eyes quickly focus on something else. Anything else, but me.

  “I was just tired,” I lie which I seem to be doing a lot of lately. Lying to myself, lying to my friends, and I sure as hell have been lying to Kennedy. I grab my backpack and swing it over my shoulder.

  “Sure you were,” Craig enunciates every word. “Someone said you bailed out with Amanda hot on your heels.” This catches Kennedy’s attention. She whips her head up to look right in my eyes. Her expressions full of disappointment. Well, that’s intriguing. It’s more than that though. I refuse to drop my eyes from her and we end up being in our own staring contest as we stand in the parking lot.

  “Hey Babe,” Amanda sneaks up behind me and loops an arm around my waist causing me to look away from Kennedy. I instantly regret it when I go to look her way again and her eyes are diverted. She quickly grabs her crutches and starts heading into school.