Before I can protest, one of Graham’s hands untangles from my hair moving down my body taking a short but deliberate journey down to my shaking thighs. It feels as if he’s taking his time trying to remember what every inch of my body feels like underneath his fingertips. He’s imbedding me into his memory. His soft strong hands make their slow journey up my thighs. His eager hand descent into my underwear and then it happens. I should have been nervous or frightened from my inexperience. Anyone would be. The second his skillful fingers touch me in that spot all of the insecurity melts away. Every fear just disappears. It’s replaced by an intense burning fire in my stomach.
“Graham…” my voice is winded and raspy as it escapes my mouth. I’m not aware of what is happening. My body feels on edge as if I could collapse at any second. A heat radiates through my veins, but the hottest of heat comes from where Graham’s fingers touch. Every tiny move he makes forces my body into a deeper frenzy. It’s a new feeling, an odd feeling, but a welcomed one. “What the hell…”
“It’s okay, just let go baby,” Graham whispers in my ear placing a tender kiss in the spot right behind my ear. I don’t know what he means until it happens. A shock rang through my entire body. It’s uncontrollable, but it feels as if my whole bodies clenching and quaking at the same time. Whatever it was it certainly was amazing and mind blowing and unexpected all in one clean swoop.
Graham slips his hand out from my shorts, placing his hands on both sides of my hips. His eyes never break from mine causing my face to turn an embarrassing shade of red.
“Oh my god,” I utter feeling sort of shameful for what just happened but happy at the same time. My breaths are fast coming and hard to catch.
Graham’s face is hard to decipher. He looks surprised, confused, and clearly satisfied by my reaction. He broke out in a smile when he looked at the expression on my face. “Was that the first time…the first time you’ve…” he let the sentence trail off.
I hide my face with both of my hands balancing my elbows on my knees. “Well put this on the top of my list of most humiliating moments of my life.” Graham takes a step away from me, but makes sure not to go too far. His quiet chuckle surrounds us. This isn’t funny. I’ve never been more mortified in my life.
Graham closes the gap between us once again resting his hands on each side of me leaning in closely. I’m going to combust having him that close so soon after---just after. “You have no reason to be embarrassed, Kennedy. You had an orgasm, that’s all,” Graham states simply as if it’s no big deal. I know he’s trying to make me feel better but it makes me feel even more self-conscious.
“Oh now that you’ve put it that way,” I offer sarcastically rubbing my hands down my face trying to build up enough courage to look up at Graham whose eyes are blazing into me making my skin feel as if it’s on fire.
A playful smirk crosses his face as he runs his gaze over my entire body. I sit helplessly on the counter top. He’s being flirtatious trying to ease up my mood. Wearing only my shorts and a black satin bra I feel exposed in front of the one boy who has the ability to make me feel vulnerable.
“You’re beautiful,” Graham whispers trailing his fingers over my collarbone and up my neck making goose bumps rise all over my skin. I shudder as Graham kisses along the same spots his fingers had just left a heated trail.
“I’m sure you say that to all the girls,” I mutter in the most self-deprecating tone instantly regretting it. Pointing out all of Graham’s other options isn’t exactly going to make a case for why he should be where he’s at in this moment.
Graham’s eyes shoot up at me with pure dissatisfaction. He couldn’t be surprised that I believed that right? I mean, he is Graham freaking Black.
“I just want to make something clear with you. I’ve never and when I mean never I mean never have I ever said that to a girl. I have a reputation and I don’t want to lie to you about the type of guy that I have been in the past. I never felt the need to sweet talk all the other girls because I didn’t feel the way I feel about them like I do you. They were just there to pass the time, to relieve a satisfaction, an itch to scratch. That’s all.”
“Okay…” I say in shock stunned by what he had admitted. He likes me?
“I like you and it has nothing to do with what you did for me that night, but it does have everything to do with the person that you are. I don’t want you to think that this has to go any farther than what you want tonight. In fact, I’m not going to let it,” Graham begins to explain. I tried to interrupt, but he cuts me off. “Let me finish before you say anything. I’m not going to let this go any farther because you deserve better. Better than me, better than anyone. Your first time should be special and I can’t take that away from you. I won’t take that away from you.”
“Are you finished?” I raise an eyebrow at him and he nods. “I’m sitting here in just my shorts and bra if you haven’t noticed…”
“Ken, I’m not blind. Trust me I’ve noticed and it’s taking a lot to not rip them off you,” Graham looks me over like I am his last chance for a hot meal.
“You just made me feel…honestly I can’t even describe how you made me feel and what you did to me. You’re telling me that for once in your life you choose this moment to be a stand-up guy by not sleeping with me?” My smile widens in some sort of admiration.
“I guess I am. You deserve better than the bathroom counter top. It should be with someone special and if that ends up being me then great, but if it doesn’t then that’s fine too. I’ve told you before that I want to be nothing but honest with you and this is me being honest,” he admits flashing his perfect smile exposing his perfect white teeth.
“It appears so. Toss me my shirt,” I point to my t-shirt that’s crumpled up into a ball on the floor next to his discarded pants. There’s a satisfaction seeing our things together. I jump off the counter with the help of Graham placing a chaste kiss on his lips. “Get in the shower and come to bed.”
Shutting the door behind me, I bounce over to my dresser pulling out a tank top throwing it over my head.
While I shamelessly listen to Graham’s shower running I think about his honesty. It’s sweet. Although I know I’m not ready to have sex, a part of me feels rejected by him. He’s known to sleep with just about everyone which is a good enough excuse not to be another notch on his bed post. I find myself being drawn to him despite his reputation. Especially after what just happened in the bathroom, it will be hard not to act on my impulses and jump on him the minute he walks out of the bathroom.
I sit up in bed waiting for him to finish up in the shower. I hear the water running then not too soon after shut off. The sink turns on and a drawer opens and closes a few times. Graham Black’s behind my door probably completely naked with droplets of water dripping down his hard body. God, I’m nervous.
Graham walks out of the bathroom wearing nothing but his boxer briefs that sit far too low on his hips making it impossible to concentrate. His skin glistens from the shower that I was just fantasizing about. I raked my eyes over his abdominal muscles letting out a quiet sigh. At least I think it is silent. Graham’s eyes snap up catching mine wandering all over his body.
“See something you like, Ken?” Graham laughs. I’ve been caught.
“You can’t possibly be real, right? I mean high school guys aren’t supposed to look like that and have bodies like yours. It’s sort of unfair to the rest of them,” I answer gesturing at his obvious immaculate toned body. I must have said something that amused him because he can’t stop laughing. I quickly change the subject out of shame. “How was the shower?”
“Cold.” he says bluntly looking amused running his hand through his damp hair. He looks sexier if that’s even possible.
“There wasn’t any hot water?” I question praying that the water heater didn’t take a dive again. That’s the last thing that my parents need to be worrying about.
“It was an optional cold shower. I figured if we were going to be sle
eping in the same bed that I should fall on the cautious side.” Graham answers with a grin.
“Oh…oh,” I smile at him catching onto what he means. I flip back the covers letting Graham slide into his side of the bed. He shifts around a bit until I lay down next to him flicking the bedside lamp off. It feels comforting having him next to me. I don’t know how we got here. All I know is that I don’t want this to end.
“Kennedy?” Graham whispers into the dark.
“Yeah,” I turn to face him.
“What happens now?” his voice is a near whisper.
Something has shifted between us. We are no longer just friends, if we ever were. We are far more complicated than that. I fear that Graham won’t know how to move through this without bumping and bruising either of us in the process.
I’m not even sure when it happened exactly. At some point I no longer looked at Graham just as all the other girls did and I started seeing him for the person that I know he is. For the person I know that he is deep down inside the walls that he’s hiding from everyone else in his life. He’s sweet and tender. No one else would use those words to describe him. Everyone else sees him as this untouchable, unattainable guy.
“What do you want to happen?” I ask reluctantly afraid of what his answer will be.
“Honestly, I don’t have a clue. I’m just afraid that I’m going to disappoint you and that I’m going to end up hurting you because I don’t know how to be any other way.” Graham turns over to face me. He couldn’t see me through the darkness in my room. That doesn’t matter. The only source of light’s coming from the alarm clock. “I’m the guy who has never been in a real relationship but has managed to sleep with a majority of the girls at school. I’m the guy who refuses to let girls take their tops off when I’m fooling around with them because it’s too personal. I’m not someone who you should want to get close to.”
I’m shocked by what he has said. I’ve heard the rumors, but I didn’t believe them. What kind of guy makes a girl keep her shirt on? I’m no expert, but even I know that seems unlikely.
Just the way he described himself is hard to listen to. He thinks very little of the type of guy he is even though he exudes more confidence than any teenage boy can ever hope to have. Then it dawns on me. “But you let me take off my shirt earlier in the bathroom, so that can’t be true.” I flip on the bedside lamp sitting up to look at him with confusion.
“That was the first time that’s ever happened,” Graham explains looking a bit embarrassed at admitting that.
“Oh boy, you must really like me then,” I laugh slapping him gently on his bare chest. He grabs my wrist pulling me down closer to him. My legs and arms are draped over him as I look down into his honey colored eyes.
“Yeah, I think I do.” Graham’s lips meet mine before I can say anything. It’s just as it was in the bathroom, eager and determined. His lips feel like a small slice of heaven against mine, as if they are meant to do exactly what they are doing.
Chapter Twenty-Six
-Graham-
Kennedy pushes on my chest as she sits up to straddle my lap. I can feel myself getting hard just from the quick almost non-existent friction. It’s just enough to wake my lap up. Luckily she stops us before it gets to the point of no return. Just having her close turns me on. I need to find a way to rein this in if we are going to keep doing this. I place my hands on her thighs to stop her from moving another inch. I don’t think I can handle much more.
“You never told me what happens next,” Kennedy squeaks out in between placing soft kisses along my neck and jawline. She’s usually so in control, but seeing her like this only makes me want her more.
“What do you want to know exactly?” I ask praying that she won’t stop her assault.
“This is going to sound so dumb coming out of my mouth and with most guys I suppose it would be easier because they aren’t the high school man whore that you so happen to be,” she begins to explain looking down at me for sympathy for what she has said and what she’s planning to say. “No offense.”
“None taken,” I smile at her reassuringly.
“I guess what I’m wondering is if we are going to do this then does that mean that we aren’t going to sleep with anyone else?”
Boy, she just put it right out there, didn’t she?
“Do you plan on sleeping with anyone else?” I challenge her running my hands from her knees to just above her slim hips.
“That was more for you, not me.”
I know what Kennedy’s getting at. I’m just not sure what I can say to her to be as truthful as possible. What do I want from this? What do I want from her? I know that if anyone found out about Kennedy and me that everything that could ruin it would weasel its way in. Even if we don’t want it to and we fight hard for it to stay at bay, something will come along and mess it up. Somehow someone or something will prove Kennedy to be wrong about me. I’d prove myself to be the dick that I’ve always been.
“I’m not planning on sleeping with anyone else. I like you,” I admit running my hands up and down Kennedy’s thighs watching as her expression changed from anticipation to satisfaction. This doesn’t even sound like you. How does this girl have this much of an effect on you?
“I like you too, but…” she pauses before continuing distracted by my hands that are tickling her thighs with the ends of my fingertips. Her skin is soft, practically porcelain. “But I don’t think it’s a good idea if anyone knows.”
“What?” I sit up holding her to me allowing her to stay perfectly on my lap. She brushes her hand over my hair looking at me with concern.
“It’s just that I know that if we try this…” she points between the two of us. “That something will try to break it down and make it impossible and I don’t want that to happen. I’m not under the impression that I’m a hot commodity at school, so why would anyone believe that you of all people are spending time with me?”
It’s like Kennedy’s reading my mind. The plan still seems flawed. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to keep her a secret. She’s better than that. Somehow along the way of life she has created this world that she doesn’t feel privy to, that somehow she doesn’t belong because she’s not as pretty as the other girls or as outgoing. If you would have asked months ago, I might have agreed. That’s only due to the fact that I didn’t bother to see her. I would have been wrong months ago.
“So you want to see where this goes before we tell anyone? How’s this going to work?” I ask.
“Well for one you can’t sleep with anyone else, let’s just make that clear,” Kennedy winks at me. I know she’s being serious. “And I guess we go on like we have been. Friendly, but when were alone a little bit more friendly.” A smile appears on her lips. I had to stifle back my laughter. She’s being forthcoming about the whole situation. Who knew one orgasm could turn her into a sex crazed flirt. I can see it in her eyes, the way they shine when she looks at me.
“I promise I won’t sleep with anyone else, but is this really going to work? I don’t know if you’ll be able to keep your hands off of me after what just happened in your bathroom. You know what these hands can do now, so…” I poke at her ribs teasingly. She never seemed too flirtatious, but she’s showing me a whole different side of her tonight. I like this playful, carefree side.
“You’re probably right, Graham. What if I can’t control myself when we are around other people?” She throws her arms out to the side in playful frustration.
I roll over pinning Kennedy’s small frame beneath me. She laughs a perfect laugh that I wouldn’t mind hearing every damn day. “I like this side of you.”
“What side’s that?” she asks sweetly in between catching her breath.
“The playful carefree side, I’ve never seen you like this.” I explain.
“You’ve never seen me any way before,” Kennedy kisses along my jaw holding back a giggle only a girl is capable of.
“I’ve seen you, Ken. You might not have caught my atte
ntion at first, but I definitely see you,” I say truthfully earning the sweetest, unfortunately the quickest, kiss imaginable.
We continue talking about almost everything that you can imagine the remainder of the night. Kennedy graciously avoids bringing up my family and I avoid talking about our accident. Everything else seems to be fair game. She told me everything she loves about dancing and what kind of books she likes to read. I explain everything about baseball and how I love to go snowboarding. I promise to teach her since she’s never been. I can’t wait to drag her ass up a snowcap mountain.
Mostly, I just look at her. I admire every inch of her face trying to memorize the small details. Like the way her eyes sparkle when she laughs at something I say, and how her right eyebrow lifts up just a bit whenever she has to really think about something. I always noticed how pretty Kennedy was and no one could deny it by looking at her, but she radiates the type of beauty when she laughs that most girls strive for. She’s contagious and I’m realizing that I don’t think I can ever get my fill of her.
As I lay next to her I wonder how I got here. Somewhere along the way things in my life shifted falling into order. Kennedy was never in my plan. In fact she wasn’t even in my eye line. Somehow all the shit in my life got pushed aside to make room for her. I need to make room for her. She’s the type of girl that you regret by letting her slip through your fingertips.
It must be getting late. Kennedy starts yawning one after another. I glance over at the alarm clock to see that it’s already four in the morning.
“Babe, we better go to bed. Mornings going to come quick,” I reach over her to flick off the bedside lamp. Kennedy inches her body closer to mine. I wrap my arm around her wanting her to be as close as possible, being this close to her holding her felt more natural than I could imagine. I’ve never held anyone like this. It feels right.
“Goodnight Graham,” Kennedy whispered into my hand that she’s holding. The hairs on my arm stand tall with her affection.
When Our Worlds Collide Page 16