Undisclosed Desire (The Complete Box Set

by Falon Gold

  I want to clap.

  My mother throws her hands up. “Shut up, girl! My son doesn’t date the likes of you!”

  “He did eight months ago!” a man yells in the hallway.

  A chorus of ‘Shut up, Tommy’ rings out.

  “That’s your brother, Frank,” a new voice cranks out condescendingly.

  “He’s your brother too, Luke Owens,” Dr. Owens laments.

  I file ‘Cranky man is Luke Owens’ for further reference, and train my sights on the mother. “I’m going to ask you only one time to keep the names to yourself… mother, or you will leave. You’ve been cut out of my son’s life. Don’t get cut out of mine’s too.”

  Astrid steps closer to the bed. “No, Blake, let her throw stones. It’s all she’s got left after being a small-minded, old woman with prehistoric views and no access to the only person in this room that may be able to stand her. You lost your shot to be truly loved by someone, lady, because Little Blake is the only one in here who wouldn’t know any better. I’m certainly not going to stand by and let you trick your son into thinking your relationship with him is that of beloved mother and son. He avoids you and his father like the plague, has his own apartment—”

  “Astrid!” Dr. Ellis whisper-screams from his throat.

  Instantly contrite, she looks at him. “I’m sorry, Dr. Ellis, but I’d rather Blake’s memory never come back than he believes either of his parents have his best interests at heart. They don’t!”

  An eerie leer ghosts my mother’s lips. “I assure you we do, Dr. Ellis. He can’t be alone at least for a while, right? He could’ve forgotten how to cook and burn the house down with him in it. Then who would be blamed for that? I know you don’t want to be liable for that. So… shouldn’t he come home with us? Tonight, since I’m sure you need the bed for someone who’s actually sick.”

  “His memory is missing, not his ability to function as an adult, and no one here will let him cook, bath, or sleep alone if Dr. Ellis thinks we shouldn’t!” The level of Astrid’s cadence rises, and I grow apprehensive about the welfare of her and my son.

  My mother grins with all her teeth on display. “You don’t know what all he’s forgotten, now do you? And he’s my son. Who can take better care of him than his parents?”

  “Lady, I heard you don’t know nothing about taking care of—”

  I kiss Astrid’s knuckles, more because I want to than to get her attention. The circus comes to town under my blanket again, and I have to use my forearm to block the physical reaction from touching Astrid, even in the most innocent of ways. “Calm down, sweetheart. She’s my… mother. What exactly is she going to do to me? And you should be laid up, with your feet up, complaining about your cravings.”

  Fear ripples through her eyes. She shudders and leans toward me, bracing her weight on my thigh with her empty hand. I cover her hand with my other one.

  Astrid blinks. “Blake—”

  “I’m going to do what I’ve always done, Son… take care of you.” mother butts in.

  “She has never done that, Blake,” Astrid snarls. “All she’ll do is confuse you.”

  My mother clutches the pearls around her neck and leans back, her eyes standing wide and heavily-caked with mascara. “Confuse him about what? Where he belongs? What he should be doing with his life? Who really has his best interests at heart? Who’ll give him everything that he needs just when he needs it? That can’t be you, Astrid, when he didn’t even bother to tell anyone in his real family about you or that baby, now did he?” Ashley’s… I mean the mother’s eyes rove over Astrid, contempt sitting plainly in them. “And you wonder why he forgot you.”

  Astrid bristles and straightens up, her hand slipping from my leg to become a miniature fist at her side, the open and honest care for my wellbeing in her face more enthralling than the sensations she incite in me without even trying. “He doesn’t know you either, lady, and it’s none of your business why you never knew anything about me and our son. I didn’t realize until now how much of a favor Blake did us by not telling you about us, but he knew you would be the nasty bit—”

  “Astrid,” I call before she can finish. She’s seems to be about to pitch herself over my bed headfirst, to get to the mother who’s worn out her welcome. “It’s alright, love. You shouldn’t get this upset while pregnant. Or ever. Let me tell everyone what’s about to happen. Tonight, Astrid is staying here with me. In the morning, everyone outside in the hall come back so I can meet you if you can. If you can’t, I’ll find you. Tomorrow afternoon, I’m going home with… my… parents.” Suddenly, I want to brush my teeth.

  If the Powers were going to spill their motives for being here, they would’ve by now. I won’t find out what they are up to while laying up in this bed, watching her and Astrid go back and forth either, with my instincts clamoring for me to get to the bottom of every underlying issue with them. It’s a necessity that I go with them alone into their domain, to find out what they want from me before I rivet my life to Astrid’s permanently.

  “What?” Untainted terror outpours from Astrid’s eyes. “No, Blake! Don’t do this, please!”

  Yeah, I’ll be using most of my time tonight to persuade Astrid that it’s for the best if I go with the Powers on a solo mission. Then I get a serious case of déjà vu. Solo missions are what got me here.

  The mother scoffs loudly. Oddly, thinking of her as anything with mother on the end doesn’t come off as habitual for me. So… who do I think of as my mother because it doesn’t compute to my vacant brain that I didn’t have one while growing up? And why isn’t it Ashley who I think was there for me?

  Well, you won’t find out tonight, and your family needs you, Blake, so put that shit on the back burner.

  “Shhh, baby. It’s going to be fine, Astrid. Trust me.”

  “Fuck!” expels from her before her chin freefalls and teardrops hit the sheets.

  I release her hands to sit up, scissor my legs on each side of her, and pinion her head against my shoulder while brushing away the tracks of her tears from her cheeks. “Everyone out!”

  “Gutter and crude that one is,” mother says snidely, while pointing at Astrid. “Should’ve known that’s why Blake didn’t tell us about you and your baby. Someone should get you a better hair dresser.”

  “I’d rather have the background that I got if yours made you the monster you are. And, someone like your husband should get you a sandwich stat and make you eat it instead of letting you henpeck him.” Astrid’s muffled reply bats my collarbone.

  Heat blooms under the first layer of skin, igniting tiny campfires along my arms and chest, along with flare-ups of my anger. “Leave her alone, Ashley, or I’m going home with Astrid, period.” I hold her tight against me with one arm, while modifying the blanket to cover my naked rear.

  “You heard the man.” Dr. Ellis cosigns. “Come back tomorrow at your assigned times. Blake, I’ll see you in the morning. Please let the nurse give you an IV.”

  “No.”

  He hums under his breath, irritated. “Fine! Everyone else has to leave right now, or I’ll call security. Sasha will take Blake’s parents one way. Everyone else go the other. Come with me, Mrs. and Mr. Powers.”

  “Who gets put out of a hospital?” Tommy sighs noisily. “Can’t take these two families nowhere.”

  “Goodnight, son,” the parents echo saccharinely sweet, their sentiment and endearment ringing false. Finally, their heavy presences diminish from behind me.

  “Goodnight, Son,” drifts in from the hallway from Malisa’s parents. My chest swells with thick emotions. I’m not ever going to get that type of affection from the Powers. Only a real parent that had a hand in a child’s upbringing would risk calling someone else’s child theirs, which means I’ve found my real parents, or rather they found me.

  “Night, Dr. Owens and Lydia.” But using their government names is too… formal. I decide I’ll call them Mama O and Pops… if I ever meet them.

  Someone s
niffles.

  “Ah, sweetheart, don’t cry,” Dr. Owens coos. “I told you everything is going to be fine. Just give him a little more time.”

  “Night, nephew,” Tommy says.

  I recall his voice from earlier. “Night, Unk,” I say impulsively, as if I’m conditioned to call him that, while planting soft kisses along Astrid’s crown.

  “Ha! He knows me by nickname and not any of yours. I’m special.” A bear and a badge flips into my head.

  So, I’ve given everyone nicknames. Only I haven’t thought of but three. Well, I’ll just pass out more as I’m introduced to them tomorrow.

  “Shut up, Tommy,” Dr. Owens spouts instantly, a trained reply too, I think.

  “You’re definitely not the kind of special you’re thinking of, Tommy, that’s for sure,” a woman with robustness in her speech replies. Whoever she is isn’t a woman to be messed with, but then again, her response seems like one of Malisa’s insults; harmless.

  “That was rude, Aunt Chrys,” Tommy says, his voice growing distant as feet ricochet off the hallway’s tiles. She laughs.

  “Apollo,” Malisa wails. “I’ve sat down and I can’t get up, and Blake is too doped up to help me.”

  He laughs his ass off while stepping through the curtain. “I’m here, love. Let’s go.” The chair’s feet scrape the floor as she empties it, with Apollo’s assistance. “Night, best man and bridesmaid,” he hints, still dressed in his tuxedo. I catch his meaning immediately; we were a part of their wedding.

  I grin. “Night, future best man.” He chuckles.

  Astrid begins placing random kisses on my face. “Wait for me, guys.” Then she lifts her face to mine. “Blake, I have to go back with them to get my truck, clothes, and purse.”

  Malisa stops in the slit of the sheet. “Stay, Astrid. We got you.”

  “No, Malisa, everyone has done enough for—”

  “We got you, sis. It’s the least we can do after you pulled strings to get us all back here, so you don’t get to worry about anything. Maybe, we couldn’t get Blake home like we wanted to, but him being here with you and that mean ass nurse to watch over him is even better. He’s safe from his conniving parents for a little while longer, and that’s because of you.”

  “I made that call because it was the right thing to do, Malisa, not to gain perks with the Owens.”

  “I know that, Astrid, and that’s why we all love you already. You kept our family together.” This is the kind of family that I can get used to, again.

  I gather Astrid into my body again and close my arms around her. “Give in, baby. I can see Malisa’s stubborn streak all the way over here, and it’s a mile wide.”

  Astrid giggles, and looks up at me. “Fine. Night guys, and I love you all too.” Malisa blows a kiss then vanishes in the hallway. Astrid doesn’t even see it.

  It’s hard to believe that we’re alone. “Have you said that to me before?”

  “No, I haven’t.” She swallows, her disposition morphing into that of regret. “But I should’ve though.” Her guilt is almost tangible, but there’s no room for it between us.

  My neck bends to bridge our noses together. “You can make it up to me in any corner of Arrow of your choosing, and I love you too, Astrid.”

  Her mouth flaps open and close. Little puffs of air leak out. “You don’t know that, Blake, and we didn’t actually make love in every corner of Arrow. I just said that to piss your mother off.”

  “Now, that is funny, and I do know I love you. I feel it. Felt at the hotel after I woke up. Mr. Lindsey asked me my name, and the Powers—”

  “Were the people who came to mind because they gave you your name, and your first memories will certainly contain them.”

  “Exactly.”

  “I get it. You don’t have to explain the order of your memories returning, Blake, just hold me.”

  “Oh, I don’t plan to stop, but listen to me. I don’t have to remember every moment we spent together to know you’re the woman for me. But, how do I know where to go from here if I don’t know where I’ve been? Please trust me to come back to you by tomorrow evening from my parents’ home. I’d take you with me, but I don’t want you arguing with that woman constantly. It’s not good for the baby or you. I hoped she’d say something revealing while you two went at each other’s throats, but she’s keeping her cards close to her chest.”

  “You know we used to do nosy cop, observant cop when we went out on calls together. You’d let me ask the questions while you read the accuser’s body language. You could always tell who’s lying much faster than I could. Shit, I’m not supposed to be telling you any of this.”

  “Too late, and I trust you to give me an unbiased view about everything you know. We would’ve had to do that when dealing with domestic disputes for sure, and I assure you that I know Ashley and Martin are up to something. That’s what’s bothering the hell out of you, but you can let it go. I want to know what is up their sleeves before I tell them ‘no, but thank you’ to their faces when they try to manipulate me at their home tomorrow. They deserve an answer from me face to face after giving me life.”

  She snickers. “They deserve a face to face answer alright, so they can feel the upmost pain when you walk away.”

  Astrid’s eyes whip away just before Dr. Ellis walks in.

  “Sorry, guys, I just wanted to talk to Blake without interruption for a minute. What I’m about to say probably breaks every oath I took to not get involved in any matter that doesn’t concern my patients’ immediate health. With that said, I think Mrs. and Mr. Powers are certainly going to be a problem in the immediate future for you both probably, and aren’t to be trusted.”

  He crosses his arms, making the tails of his white coat spread out like wings. “I think you sense that too, Blake, despite what you’ve forgotten. Amnesiacs don’t normally start remembering so much at one time, but like I said, the brain does its own thing. There is one thing we can depend on in these cases though, and that’s the mind giving out information as needed, and it’s like yours thinks something precious will be at stake if you don’t remember fast enough. You struck me as a man who wants everything in order before you move on to the next phase in your life, which is probably why everything that is upside down in your world is coming back first. Be on your toes with your parents is my advice. I’ll say goodnight for real now. If you need anything, there’s a nurse’s button velcroed to the left side of the bed. Sasha will get you settled in a private room for tonight as soon as one comes available, Blake.”

  “Thank you, Dr. Ellis.” He nods then departs as quietly as he came, knowing much more than he’s letting on.

  The lights dim on the entire floor, leaving the miniature crystal lamp fixture over the bed forming a halo around Astrid’s head. I’m unable to look away from the angelic depiction being created by such a little hell raiser. “This has been a long day, sweetheart… at least I think so anyway.”

  Astrid’s lips bow inward, suppressing a grin.

  “Lay down with me until Sasha shows up,” I request, while my fingers frame her jaw and ears.

  Her face splits wide open. “I thought you’d never ask.”

  Even pregnant, it’s nothing to hoist her up. She sustains her balance by latching on to my forearms. Her knees bend, fork off in midair, and then dock on the mattress. I lie us down sideways then adjust my upper body into a slant across the mattress, giving baby Blake space to lay with us too. Happily, I’m trapped in the apex of her thighs that are supporting my waist and manufacturing a cozy niche for my arousal. Her heat is devastating, and I’m still not close enough to it. My pelvis bucks into her without my consent or hers, but dry-humping her isn’t adequate either. Inside her is the only solution for what ails me.

  Astrid lurches back and whimpers softly, closing her eyes tight enough for her eyelashes to scrape her cheeks. “You’re asking for trouble, Blake.” Undoubtedly something I do around her often. “And you’re injured, love.”

  �
�Sorry about that, especially with the hospital staff milling around and can walk in on us any minute.”

  I’m really not apologetic though, but I quit moving and pray for strength to not do it again, shutting my eyes. Looking at her is only going to have the opposite effect on my stubborn system that’s craving to take her right here. I don’t really give a shit if anyone gets an eyeful of us making love, but Astrid might.

  “Don’t be sorry. I love your sex drive too. It matches mine.”

  A rattling in my lungs shatters the quiet, as I inhale, trying to gain control. “Talk to me.”

  “I can’t right now,” she groans, as if she’s suffering with pigheaded lady parts too. It’s only fair since my erection is only getting stiffer, incessant that I bury it within Astrid and show her how much we love her back. Telling her how much has already been taken care of.

  Get some space from her, Blake, even if it’s just mental.

  “You can, Astrid. Tell me things about you that I don’t know… uh, never knew.”

  “Okay. Give me a second.”

  The tips of my fingers convulse, not liking the restraint I’m using to keep them from ripping her underwear off then powering through her southbound lips. I begin to trace the formation of the northbound ones just to give my hands something to do. She has no clue how close my passion is to pulling me under.

  “My mother and father met in the sixth grade. April’s an elementary school teacher with biracial parents. Wesley’s a mechanic, Haitian immigrant, with his own small business in Harr… Right before my mother went off to college, he proposed. She accepted. They would have a four-year long distance relationship until she came back home, two months pregnant with me. As often as they could get away from their obligations, the distance was just the length of their arms from one another. They wanted more kids after my little brother, Ian, who’s a year younger and a computer analyst in Georgia, but my mother’s endometriosis and full hysterectomy took the dream of more children away from my parents. I’ve wanted to be a cop since my best friend’s father came to Career Day in the fourth grade. He seemed really nice to a nine-year old, while explaining why law enforcement needs more good officers. I’ve always liked helping people, but I would learn the hard way that he wasn’t talking to the girls in my class that day. He’s one of the bigots in our profession and a police captain for the city of… my small town, so I had to set my sights on the county’s Sheriff’s Department.”