Undisclosed Desire (The Complete Box Set

by Falon Gold

  “Amari! Jesus, what did you just do to your phone? And you just left. What could’ve happened that fast that you’re back here with…” she peeks in the backseat. “…with what looks like all of your stuff?”

  “Look in the folder on the passenger seat, Mama, while I take my stuff inside the house. I’ll get an apartment…”

  She bends down, seizing the envelope. “Stop! You stay here as long as you…Oh my God! Who is this kissing Camron?”

  I hurdle out of the car. “Bailey Rossi, a certified bi… witch who promised I wouldn’t keep Camron. But she was wrong. I never had him.”

  “I don’t think that’s true, Amari. That man loves you.”

  Not interested in arguing about it, I push the driver’s seat upwards with too much force. It bounces off the steering wheel back at me. With a little less strength, I slap it up again and snatch the bag sitting on top of the clothes that are laying across the backseat on hangers.

  The contents of a carry-on, which I overstuffed with products then underwear and couldn’t zip, spills into the street. Underwear go everywhere. Falling to my knees, I sling it all back inside.

  My father squeezes my shoulders from above me. “Baby girl, calm down. It’s going to be alright. You don’t have to go back to Camron, but let him explain his side for your own piece of mind. Now, go inside the house while I move your stuff in.”

  “No, Daddy. You just had surgery.”

  “I’m not lifting a house, Amari. Just clothes on hangers… and shoes strewn all over your car. It’s like a hoarder’s paradise in here. At least your underwear is in a bag, which you’ll be carrying. I love you, but not that much to handle your adult underoos while you’re not sick.”

  I snicker unwillingly, get to my feet quickly before my father tries to help me and risks pulling something in his chest. Backhanding tears from my eyes, I cuddle the bag with my underoos to my chest, stumbling toward the house with my mother attached at the waist by one arm. Her hug just isn’t cutting it this time. I was breaking apart and one arm or one hand couldn’t hold me together. Maybe not even duct tape or glue. In my room, I fall face down on the bed.

  “Amari—”

  “Just give me a few minutes, Mama, then we’ll talk, okay?”

  “Okay.” She lays the manila beside me.

  I knock it away. It flutters to the carpet.

  “Tell Daddy to just dump my clothes in the floor. I’ll get them up later.”

  “Okay.” Her presence wanes. I slip into depression.

  Two days into being truly heartbroken, Camron’s voice manifests outside my door. “Sweetheart, talk to me please. That picture isn’t what you think it is.”

  Each word out his mouth takes potshots at the fragments of my heart drifting around my chest.

  “It never is what I think it is with you, Camron.”

  How did he get in the house?

  “Not true, Amari. I love you more than anything.”

  “You know what? I don’t believe you, but I loved you too, Camron, more than my own good judgment. Loved! Past tense! Stay away from me!”

  I dig deeper into the covers and bury my head under the pillow. He goes away, so does reality. Exactly how I wanted it to. Two more days into my self-imposed exile, my bedroom door opens. Someone whistles low.

  “Jeez, lil sis, bath and clean up already.”

  “Get out, Brandon,” I say hoarsely.

  “I will, right after I tell you what Blake and I did.”

  I crack an eye, getting an eyeful of the wall. “What did you do?”

  “Beat your boy’s ass.”

  I shift to a sitting position. “What boy?”

  “Camron. He told us everything.”

  I fling the covers back. “Who is us?”

  The light from the hall punches me in the eyeballs.

  “‘Us’ is Blake and me.”

  I scratch at the bird’s nest on my head. “I’m sorry. My ears are hallucinating. I thought I heard you say you beat Camron’s ass. That’s not possible.”

  “It is when it’s two against one.”

  I jump to my feet and stick the landing in the middle of a neat pile of folded jeans. Pretty good for someone’s that thunderstruck and wobbly as hell mentally.

  “You jumped him!”

  He smiles proudly. “Yep. He fucked over my sister. We worked him over.”

  “Oh no, no no! Is he alright?”

  “Nope. He’s laid up at home.”

  “You hurt him bad?” I screech.

  “As bad as he’s hurt you.”

  Shit he’s almost dying then.

  Why do you care if he’s dying or not?

  Because I do. If I could stop caring about Camron, God knows I would. And I’d stopped crying. And moping. And sleeping around the clock. Worrying my parents who leave food at my door that I leave untouched.

  Go see if he’s okay already.

  I turn in frantic circles, looking for… something. Everything. My brother is going to jail for this.

  “Where are you going, lil sis?”

  “To see if you’re going down for murder or just aggravated assault, nut! Where do you think I’m going? You better hope I can talk him out of having you two arrested.”

  “I don’t care if you can’t. No one fucks with mine.”

  He bends over and scoops the manila folder off the floor. No point in stopping him from looking at it.

  “Yep,” he drawls out of the blue.

  “Yep what, Brandon?” I unearth the carry-on bag from beneath my dresses carefully laid out on the other side of the bed.

  “She set up him.”

  “Who set who up?” I drag a pair of stonewashed jeans from the middle of the heap I pounded under my feet getting out of the bed.

  “Bailey. She set Camron up. I didn’t want to believe him, but she did.”

  “What are you talking about, Brandon?” A wrinkled midriff, high-neck shirt is nabbed from another mound.

  “Did you take a really good look at this photo, Amari?”

  “Yes.”

  “You sure because—”

  “Are you saying it’s photoshopped?”

  “No. Camron said the photo is definitely real, taken after she took him by surprised.”

  I snort. “Surprised! Is that the best a marital artist can do? Isn’t he supposed to be able to kick ass and take names later when someone surprises him?”

  “Amari, even kungfu masters can’t go around just hitting people.”

  “Really, because it sounds exactly like what you and Blake have done.”

  He continues studying the photograph. “Is Bailey as tall as Camron?”

  “No.” I rescue the first pair of shoes I see, leather sandals sticking halfway out from under the bed. “Why?”

  “Because they’re standing lip to lip. That isn’t possible if he’s taller than her. He said she was standing in a chair when she whipped him around and grabbed him by the collar to hold him still for the photo that ah… Layla, I think he said her name was, took.”

  “Layla’s involved too?”

  I start to have doubts again. What if Bailey kept her damn word to steal Camron from me? What if when I wouldn’t hear him out, I played right into her hands? What if I refused to see the gray areas in the black and white photo?

  Like you always do?

  Shut up.

  Brandon points at the snapshot. “He said he pushed her off, just not before Layla snapped the photo. His hands…”

  I snatch the photo from him, inspecting every detail down to his fingers splayed out from her arms like he’s… Oh no.

  “He’s not holding her. He’s pushing her away, and you whooped his ass Brandon!”

  He grins. “I whooped his ass because of the lovers’ contract he made you sign. He understood.”

  I cover my mouth when it drops wide open in shock and refuses to shut again. “He… he understood?”

  “Yep. A good guy, but he has some fucked ways about him.”


  I pop him one on the arm. “His parents taught them to him. That’s not an excuse though. He was trying to do better for me. Oh God, Brandon, I wouldn’t let him explain. I was the one who wasn’t willing to change… for him.”

  The world gets this watery film to it.

  Brandon leans back, as if I’m holding something that’s slimy and wiggling, and begging him to touch it. “Well, don’t cry about it. Go fix it. I’m still not sorry I whooped his ass though. But if he needs some chicken soup until his teeth can be fixed, I’ll—”

  “His teeth!” I yell. “Brandon—”

  “And Blake. Don’t forget Blake took part in it too.”

  “You two! Dammit! Camron probably hates me.”

  “You won’t know unless you go see him.”

  I rush for the door then swirl back around, pointing. “I’m blaming you if I’ve lost him for good, Brandon.”

  “And Blake.”

  “And Blake!”

  I whack him in the chest with the photo and stagger from the room. A quick bath, brushing my teeth in the shower, dressing, and a ponytail takes too damn long to achieve. Candleton seems a million miles away even with no traffic. I park in front of the house, leaving the car idling and driver’s door standing wide open. Should’ve done the politically correct thing and called before coming. Ah, no, that would’ve given Camron the opportunity to turn me around.

  I beat the front doors until Tommy answers with the maid behind him, her eyes dilated. I shove past them. “Where’s Camron?”

  “He’s in the pool. Hey to you, too, Amari.”

  “The pool? Brandon said he was laid up, with no teeth, needing chicken soup.”

  The maid glances up at Tommy then goes about her businesses, muttering to herself, probably thinking I’m certifiable. I kind of am right now.

  Tommy raises both eyebrows under the bedhead cut tumbling into his eyes. “The last time I saw Mr. Powers, he’d just half-eaten a steak and potatoes, as if my cooking is subpar, and then he dove into the pool in a perfect swan dive. He’s fine.”

  “Brandon lied.”

  Extreme measures to get your attention, remember?

  I pinch my hips. “That damn brother of mine.”

  “Yeah, he lied. Mr. Powers looks just like you do, lost. A little bruised however. Go find him. I have a meal to cook.”

  I shadow Tommy to the kitchen then veer to the right, then left of the waterfall into the sunroom, a screened-in porch that extends from the house. It opens to the concrete deck and chairs surrounding the Olympic-sized figure eight pool.

  Camron swims to the ladder and climbs out of the pool, a God in board shorts, toned limbs, and valleys and indentations in his gold flesh that my mind wouldn’t let me erase from it. There’s also a purplish ring around his eye and bruise traipsing across his upper torso. He shouldn’t have any damage to him with self-defense training. He wouldn’t if I’d just let him tell his side.

  My fingers lift to trace the discoloration around his eye, but I restrain them right back to my side. Hadn’t earned the right to touch him yet. If ever again.

  “You have a black eye, Camron,” I sob, dry-eyed. Couldn’t cry anymore.

  “Your brother punched me in it. Blake bruised my ribs with the toe of his boot.”

  Yeah, they whooped his ass!

  “They double-teamed you, Camron, and you didn’t karate chop somebody? Or spin kick their asses into next Wednesday? You’re a martial artist for God’s sake! Bailey should be suing you for kicking the chair from under her.”

  He grins with one side of his mouth. “Don’t be mad, sweetheart. I didn’t fight back because I deserved the blows and so much more. Besides, there were only four licks. Brandon’s. Blake’s. Then the ground’s in front of the house, which I hit first, then it hit back. Blake called me and told me what happened. I got home the next morning, looking for you at your parents. They let me in the house only because they thought me being there would get you out the bed. I came home and met Brandon’s fast fist and Blake’s furious foot. I’m sorry I was so stupid to think you’d care for me, Amari, if I had you on my territory long enough.”

  “Yeah, you were stupid… I cared for you by the time my interview for your PA was over, dummy.”

  He reaches out, then pulls his hand back. We’re both chickens. I’m the bigger one, but I do step closer.

  “Why didn’t you tell me, Amari?”

  “You were my boss, and I had just got the job. I didn’t want to be fired that quickly, but I wanted you to notice me. You never showed any interest in me by the end of my first month, so I bottled up my feelings, and then I quit. Too chicken shit to say how I felt.”

  “That might’ve been the smartest thing you’ve ever done, Amari. I wasn’t the man I should’ve been for you when I hired you, and I knew it. Wouldn’t have treasured you like I should have. And I’m still not good enough for you.”

  “You were, and you are. Anyone that sees there’s room for improvement in themselves and works at it is a man good enough. Everybody gets a clean slate if they want it after their lives have gone in whatever direction life has took it. Doing better today than you did yesterday is all I ever needed from you… and fidelity. Most people don’t deserve the good things that happen to them, like Bailey, just like most people don’t deserve the bad shit that happens, like abused women. But it all happens, and you have to be thankful for all of it. It all has its purpose.”

  “Yeah, well, I’ve been cheating myself and you for years. By the time you finally pushed the issue of the other women being in your territory, I was already sick of them and couldn’t wait anymore for you to say anything that indicated I had a chance with you, so I took it.” He points to his face. “This is what I have to show for that dumb decision.”

  “My territory?”

  “I was always yours, Amari. We both just had to accept it. I came to that conclusion a hell of lot faster than you did though, and then I tried to force it on you. Stupidest shit I’ve ever done.”

  I brace for rejection before placing a palm over his heart. “If you hadn’t, we wouldn’t be together right now, Camron. I had accepted I’d never have you, and it took a lot to turn me around. You did that with your crazy contract. It would’ve taken something that crazy after I thought I could never be all you wanted in a woman after you told me you loved me, not love in present tense. It stuck with me and created doubts, so when I saw the pictures of you and Bailey, I ran, but I’m back… if you want me.”

  Chapter Eleven

  ~Camron~

  Want her? Want is too damn domesticated a word for how much I need her who looks dazed.

  “Saying I loved you was me trying to convince myself I could let you go, Amari. As soon as I showed you to your bedroom, I was right on track of convincing you to love me. So, does this mean we’re…?” I falter, almost unable to string more consonant and vowels together with her setting my skin on fire with her absent-minded caresses. “Are you sure you want me? I’m not letting you go again, Amari.”

  She nods shyly. “Yep. Why do you think I’m here? Well, besides checking on you. I got a visit from Brandon. He’s somewhat remorseful for what they did to you. I guess that’s because you didn’t really cheat on me, which he figured out first. And he thinks you deserve a second chance at doing this right. Us, right?”

  Us. Sweetest combination of the alphabet.

  “What about you, Amari?”

  Her nails stroke my chest, firing up my manhood. “I do too.”

  “Well, I don’t deserve it, but I’m sure as hell taking you up on your offer. Every day, I’ll remember to remind you that you’ve always been enough, more than enough for me. The only woman to touch me where it matters the most… the heart. I need to be honest with you about why I dated the other women before you. One, I was too senseless to see I should’ve just approached you and told you what was in my heart. But more than that, I was afraid you would never want me. Childishly, I wanted you to put your foot down and
tell me how you felt so I could open the door to you being mine. You quit and mentioned we didn’t have an employment contract. I created one for love, and made you signed it, hoping to work on your heart while we were body to body. Before you, I had a void where love should’ve been from my parents. After I met you, I needed someone to fill the void you made. I finally figured out only you could fill both. I’m only human. Born to make mistakes.”

  “Born to right them too.”

  “And no damn one can take your place, woman.”

  She snickers then deposits her other hand on the other pectoral that’s quivering beneath her fingers. “Seriously, you’re quoting a song to me right now, Cam?”

  Fuck, I love how she says Cam.

  “I’m shocked you know anything about The Human League, Amari. You just jumped out of the cradle.”

  “Well, you robbed it and played the damn song for me on the drive from my parents’ house, and you’re only five years older than me.”

  “Damn straight I robbed the cradle for you, and I’ll do it again if it’s you in it.”

  Her eye drift downward. “Camron, I have something to tell you.”

  “What?”

  “Bailey promised she wouldn’t let me keep you but I didn’t listen to her. Didn’t think she’d try something like this. I think I was afraid if I entertained the idea that she would, I’d have to admit that I could lose you to her. I wanted so much to believe that she’d just go away. It just never occurred to me that she’d have a photo taken of forcing you to kiss her and send to me.”

  I pull her into my arms. She exhales so profoundly she could be causing a tornado in China right now. “Do you feel like you’re at home too, Amari?”

  She nods. Thank God.

  “Me too. Right here is where you belong and you’re not the only one that Bailey warned. She used subterfuge with you but she outright told me she wasn’t going to let you have me and that she loved me before I went to work Sunday. I ignored her too. Didn’t think she’d find me in Dubai and set me up. I was turning to leave the bar I was getting lunch at when she stepped up into the chair and pulled that stunt.”

  “We’re both stubborn.”