The Girl with the Peacock Harp

by Michael Eisele

  Like statues we sat in the flickering light

  As the singer stood there alone

  And the black monk stayed with his blade out-stretched

  As if he had turned to stone

  Then—and blame not the sweet kumiss!

  (‘Twas only one cup, part spilled)

  A light grew there where the singer stood

  ’Til all of the room was filled

  With a golden glow as from heaven’s dawn

  In the limitless azure skies.

  And bathed in that glow grew a peacock’s tail

  With a thousand, thousand eyes.

  And a voice spoke soft from a distance vast

  Yet close upon each man’s ear

  As a thunder stroke that could shatter stone

  Yet quietly and clear.

  ‘Born of the Light of Allah am I

  ‘By the God thou shalt never see

  ‘Nor mayest my servant take insult from

  ‘Such a clot of mud as thee.’

  And the peacock harp began to play

  High up on the topmost fret

  And by degrees it descended down

  And lower and lower yet.

  And each man there would have stopped his ears,

  Or in terror closed his eyes;

  The wretch with the knife moved not an inch

  But slowly decreased in size. . .

  Smaller and smaller, ’til lost to view

  In his own black cloak was he

  At the final note a sound came shrill

  That sounded most evilly.

  By the Beard of the Prophet I swear ’tis true

  Else Allah may strike me dumb

  From out of the neck of the self-same cloak

  The head of a rat did come

  Its fur was matted and ragged black

  And black was its glittering eye

  And frozen in fear it squatted there

  In the light of the azure sky.

  Then once more spakest the thunderous voice

  Spake thus in each man’s ear.

  ‘Thou hast done most ill in thy former life;

  ‘Was thy tongue but to curse and jeer?

  ‘So voiceless and foul shalt thou journey on

  ‘For life after life to be

  ‘Look well that thou strivest but toward my light

  ‘Lest far worse befalleth thee!

  ‘Begone!’ And of a sudden, released,

  Ran the rat in most frenzied flight

  And the peacock’s tail faded dim away

  As the lamp flame again grew bright.

  Then with grace the singer did seat herself

  And the peacock harp rang forth

  With but the notes of a mortal song

  Of love from the frozen North.

  And lo! The Innkeeper entered in

  With a glance to the open door

  Spake thus: ‘For the one who hath lately fled

  ‘Now which of you payeth the score?’

  I opened my purse and delved within

  For that most unworthy man.

  ‘Here’s gold’ quoth I, ‘for the score that’s owed

  ‘He hath paid it ten times ten.’

  And the girl with the peacock harp glanced up

  Came her voice like a temple bell.

  ‘To forget is my gift to the others here

  ‘Wilt thou sip from the cup as well?’

  ‘If it be so as thy Lord hath said,’

  I returned for her eye to eye.

  ‘That many the lives we yet shall live

  ‘Tho’ many a death we die

  ‘Then a boon beg I, for the coin I paid

  ‘For the bond that I feel with thee.

  ‘In lives to come may we meet anew?

  ‘And this night remembered be?’

  THE CHANGE

  The change came as he was sleeping. There was barely time to prepare himself as the pain ripped through him, his muscles rippling and knotting and every joint in his body, it seemed, being stretched to the breaking point. He lay on the floor of his cave, teeth clenched, trying to be silent, barely aware of the moonlight streaming through the narrow opening as the colours changed around him. Finally it was done, and he pushed himself up to a sitting position, fighting as always the vertigo that attended the shift in perspective.

  He breathed deeply, noting too that the odours of his surroundings had changed as they always did, becoming alien, rank with an undertone of foulness. You’d think I’d be used to it by now, he thought in the measured clarity that also attended the change. The breeze that drifted in through the cave’s opening was cold on his naked skin and he shivered suddenly. Time to move.

  The transformations had started in his early maturity, and at first he had been overwhelmed; lost, confused, his sense of identity undermined even as he had first begun to grasp the concept that he was an individual with a separate sense of self. Suddenly he was an outsider, with no one he could relate to, no one to whom he could say, ‘At times I become someone else, with different thoughts and feelings, do you know what I mean?’

  The innocent glowing light that drifted across the night sky provided a rhythmically varying brightness to the hours of darkness and became a thing to be watched fearfully as it approached the times of greatest illumination. Then would come the painful, disturbing alterations in his form and psyche that he knew had to be hidden, had known from the first and had instinctively sought out remote places where he could experience in full the mysterious, the monstrous characteristics of his second self. He learned to manage the alien body with something approaching his natural unthinking co-ordination, how to feed and keep himself warm when he was in the altered state.

  In the end it was the loneliness that was the worst, feeling like an outcast even before he began to be openly avoided as the others sensed the difference in him. Being shut out from his own kind led him to approach the groups of beings who most seemed to resemble his second self, observing them in secret, at first repelled in spite of himself by their appearance and the stink of the habitations where they lived, finally concluding in despair that as they did not change as he did, that they also would hardly welcome him as one of them.

  The sense of belonging nowhere was beginning to drive him mad, and he roamed alone in either form, becoming strange even to himself, seeking out ever more remote and untravelled country, taking his food and shelter wherever he could and never staying in one place for very long.

  It was almost a relief when he was captured.

  One day shortly after the change he was hunting in a valley far, as he had thought, from any habitation. It was autumn and game was scarce, so when he spotted the rabbit carcass dangling in a clearing as if it had become entangled in a snare of some kind, hunger overcame his usual caution. The trap was a cunning one, and it was not until he was actually reaching up to seize the lure that the ground crackled and gave way beneath him and he found himself entangled in a net made of tough cords which his weight drew so tightly about him that he could hardly breathe.

  He might easily have starved to death or strangled himself trying to worm free of the enveloping fibres, but the trap was visited daily and within a few hours he was drawn up and in spite of his protests moved trussed as he was to a place on the outskirts of a settlement similar to those he had spied upon in secret.

  There he was deposited in a deep rock-lined declivity and released. Immediately and for some time after he raced around and around the space, which had a few trees and rocks, but offered no way to scale the sheer rock walls. Finally, realising the futility of his efforts, he sat panting with exhaustion and fear while above him creatures looked down at him making noises to each other. His next exploration was calmer and more thorough and brought him to a cave entrance at the base of a rockfall. Gratefully he crawled within to the welcome darkness, and sought release in sleep.

  By nightfall he was thirsty and hungrier than ever. Outside the cave it was quiet, save for the murmu
rous noises of other life nearby and the calls of nocturnal birds. Carefully he extended his head through the cave opening and looked about, scanning the rim of the encircling cliffs for movement. All seemed quiet. The sound of falling water was welcome, and led him to a small depression at one side where a stream of oddly smelling water fell from a fissure in the rocks, collected in a small pool and drained rapidly away. There was nothing resembling food, however, and he was very weary from the events of the day and his futile struggle, so after satisfying his thirst he returned to the cave and curled up in a nest of dried grass and herbage that had collected in one corner.

  Morning brought a renewal of the sounds of the creatures who had captured him, eerily mingled with the normal sounds of other forms of life greeting the new day in various ways. So bemused was he trying to sort out the cacophony that he almost missed the sound of metal against metal as a small opening appeared in what had seemed a solid wall. Saliva flooded his mouth as the unmistakable smell of warm flesh wafted forth, and investigating he was amazed to find in a metal depression an unfamiliar lump of muscle tissue, still attached to a broken piece of bone. Hunger easily overcame any suspicion he might have had toward the suddenly appearing food and he gorged himself shamelessly. Afterwards, replete, he sought a flat boulder warmed by the morning sun, stretched out and dozed.

  Gradually the days of his captivity assumed a pattern, comforting in its sameness. Food was introduced at regular intervals; sometimes more, sometimes less, mostly cold but not so badly deteriorated as to be inedible. He soon learned to ignore the faces that appeared at the rim of the rock walls that encircled him, and even to take a measure of comfort from the fact that he was no longer isolated and alone. Of course, the creatures did not know what he was, could not know, but as the time of the change approached he began to worry about what they might do when as was inevitable he transformed into a replica of themselves. Would they kill him, as some of his own kind had tried to do?

  An inborn fatalism protected his sanity, and indeed in the end the resolution was simple. The area around where he was kept was nearly empty of the creatures a few hours before nightfall, the sole exception being one who passed by his enclosure with something that glowed in the darkness several times a night, but he could sense the approach from a long way off by the shuffling sound of his steps. On the night of the change he simply retreated to the darkness of the cave that had become his home and endured the pains of transformation in private.

  Emerging cautiously afterwards, he found it was now possible to scale the walls of his enclosure and gain the relative freedom of the outside. Relative because, no matter in which direction he went, sooner or later he would come to a barrier formed of cold metal saplings. Outside the barrier, even if he had been able somehow to scale it, was a confusing and chaotic world dominated by the habitations of the creatures, unnaturally lit by a seemingly endless array of blinding lights, some of which seemed in constant, pointless motion.

  Frustrated, he at length sought the seclusion of his cave, clambering down the rocks with an ease that amazed and delighted him and concealed himself in the darkness only moments before the creature with the hand held light flicked its beam over the cave entrance.

  Thus even the regular, predictable strangeness of the change took its place in the pattern of his existence, a pattern which comforted him even as it constrained him. On what became his periodic explorations of the world outside his enclosure he encountered several times other creatures similarly confined behind a smaller thicket of metal saplings. Some of these encounters were violent in the other’s reaction to his presence, and more than once he was forced to beat a hasty retreat before the creature with the light should come to investigate. However, for the most part the other confined denizens seemed bored and apathetic about their surroundings, and he roamed more and more widely on the nights when the change afforded him the means.

  One such exploration led him to a small wooden structure whose inadequate fastening had come loose due to a warping of its materials. Inside he found several lengths of fabric hung on hooks, which upon close investigation proved to be garments similar to those worn by the creatures themselves. After some laborious trial and error he managed to fit the garments around himself, and was gratified by the increased warmth.

  And now, tonight! He had decided on his last exploration to penetrate the world of his captors; resembling one of them, dressed more or less as they appeared to be, what could be more natural? The notion that the sounds they made among themselves were anything more than punctuation for the kind of speech he knew, based as it was on subtle shifts in bodily posture and eye and facial movements, did not occur to him.

  As to the means to cross the barrier of metal saplings, it was on the night of his last change that he had finally discovered a low hanging tree limb that crossed the metal barrier. It had been nearly morning then, the sky lightening just enough to distinguish shapes, and already he had sensed the subtle tingle that announced that reversion was imminent. Now he made his way unerringly to the spot and looked up. For a moment he doubted his ability to leap high enough, but his altered body proved more than adequate to the feat and moreover he was able to cling to the branch once reached so that it was a simple matter to lift his back legs over the sharp points of the metal saplings. He hung for a moment, greatly pleased by the accomplishment, then dropped silently to the ground.

  The dew wet grass felt good under his bare feet, and he breathed in the scents of the massed dwelling places which by now no longer felt so strange in his nostrils. He paused, looking around to orient himself and then set off along a path that lay outside the metal barrier. The concept of being lost was foreign to him and he took for granted his ability to return to the same place if he wished.

  Instinctively he moved in a direction which took him away from the brightly illuminated paths where the moving shapes with lights passed with incredible speed and a soft roaring sound, leaving an unpleasant-smelling spoor behind. After so many months of observing them he had already dismissed them as something to be avoided like rockfalls and hailstorms, phenomena which were unpleasant but which did not concern him personally.

  Then, up ahead, he saw with a quickening of his heartbeat that he was about to encounter the first of the creatures who resembled him in his altered form. Walking along deliberately in his direction was the slight figure of one of the male creatures who was leading or being led by, it was hard to tell which, a tiny animal like a ball of fur on four stilt like legs, attached to him by a snare or cord of some kind.

  He did not have long to wait for a reaction. Scenting him, the little animal hurled itself into a perfect frenzy of terrified barking and snarling, winding itself and the cord attached to it around the hind legs of the male creature who was almost thrown off balance. He stepped off the path politely, lowering his head to minimise the threat posed by his larger size, and was rewarded by a friendly narrowing of the eyes and a broad grimace in answer, punctuated by a complex vocalisation which sounded like ‘fuk’nwerdo’. He passed on with an acknowledging rumble, delighted at the naturalness of the exchange, while the creature hurried onward, dragging his hysterically yapping companion along by main force.

  Bolstered by his success, he decided to approach one of the dimly lit buildings in front of which a group of the creatures of both sexes had congregated. There was the smell of burning mingled with body odours and a sharp smell that he could not identify, but the group did not seem particularly hostile as he approached, merely looking him up and down and doubtless testing his scent as any newcomer would be greeted. Their stances were wary but confident and interested, he decided, and the usual assessing and facial commenting exchanges were taking place, accompanied by the muttered vocalisations these creatures favoured.

  ‘Haylokmarizacreepoutasomwoodz’ came from one of the males.

  His female companion showed her teeth politely and answered, ‘Hedincumfrumnowoodz, hezfumdazoo, canewsee? Boldly she eyed him up and down, her
gaze lingering for some reason on his bare feet. ‘yewabigsumbichaincha’ she growled, ‘whezushoos?’

  Embarrassed by the directness of her stare, he thrust his face forward to judge the nature of her interest, finding beneath some foul odour she had rolled herself in to disguise her scent, an unmistakable sexual undertone. Evidently her companion had noticed it as well, for the male pushed in between and grabbed painfully at his facial fur, shoving him back as he did so.

  There was nothing equivocal about the implied threat, and his response was instinctive and immediate. With a jerk of his head he pulled free of the painful clasp, at the same moment pivoting sharply to strike the male with his hip. The lighter male fell and sprawled on the path, eyes wide and fearful, while he stood over him with teeth exposed and growled a warning. The rest of the group pressed back out of the way, as was natural when a disagreement of this nature occurred, except for the female who reacted to type, interposing herself between him and the fallen male and showing her teeth in an apologetic grin.

  ‘Fukncrazibastad’ yelped the fallen male, making no move to get up.

  The female pressed herself against him, urging him away. She grasped at his shoulder with a foreleg and muttered, ‘Cumonhonlesgosumplazbeforacopzcum’. When she moved away in implied invitation he followed, his interest aroused. He felt he was becoming increasingly at home in this altered shape, and the form and scent of the female no longer seemed so strange and alien.

  She led him down darkened spaces between the habitations, where occasionally an opening in the stone walls showed a dim light. Once she turned and squinted in a friendly fashion, exposing teeth briefly in a red-lipped mouth. ‘Yewzainmuchavatalk’r aryew’ she muttered in a low voice. Puzzled he thrust his face forward to judge her scent and she barked softly and drew away. ‘Takitezeehon weralmos’ther’ she said in a teasing growl.

  His instincts told him that this was normal behaviour for a sexually aroused female, and he followed obediently as she led him into an opening in a nearby stone wall, up a wooden floored incline that confused his feet so that he stumbled trying to negotiate it. This seemed to irritate the female who snarled, ‘becarfelcantcha, y’wannawaykeverbody?’