MILITARY ROMANCE: The War Within Himself (Alpha Bad Boy Marine Army Seal) (Contemporary Military Suspense & Thriller Romance)

by Claire Branson

  He smiled. “I try, pretty lady. I try.”

  THE END

  Mated by the MC Biker Teacher

  A Bad Boy Second Chance Story

  Taken by the MC Biker Teacher

  New York City always tells stories. There is something very remarkable about this place that never fails to amaze people.

  It was another of those April morning when you didn’t know whether to wear your boots or grab a coat. April has always been a notorious month as it could snow or rain or be a little too hot or get too cold.

  Sarah Watkins had a lot of trouble adjusting to the new city. Born and brought up in London, she still preferred tea to coffee and often felt like an outsider in every group. It wasn’t like she hadn’t tried to settle down, but somehow she had always felt alienated.

  The first day at college is often a nightmare and her worst fears came true when a group of girls had picked on her. Sarah had been bullied a lot of times even in London, but somehow she had overlooked the nuisance. However, living in a new city, she just didn’t know how to set things right.

  Sarah remembered how her life had changed so drastically in such little time. Her granddad had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and so she decided to spend some time with him in New York City, where he lived.

  She had never really been close to her parents and had often sought refuge at her grandparent’s home. Her heart had died a little at the news, but she was happy that both her grandparents had lived a happy life. Seeing the two of them had often made her wish that she too could taste the kind of love that lasted forever. However, God seemed to have other plans.

  Sarah Watkins was 5 feet 5 inches tall and seemed to have a thing for freckles. They just never left her alone. She was a redhead and her curls were pretty unmanageable as they seemed to head the way they liked and often got tangled like a bush on fire. She had pale blue eyes, but she liked them because once a guy in high school had called her Blue Beauty and that was the only compliment she had ever received so far.

  It wasn’t that Sarah was particularly ugly, but somehow she could never fit in. Her tastes in clothes weren’t really stylish as she often picked up a pair of faded blue jeans and a strapless top. When it was cold, she would add in a coat and she never really cared about shoes. She hardly paid any emphasis on the way she dressed because what would come of it. It wasn’t like she had anyone to impress in her life which is why she cried like a baby when she was picked for her “ugly British style sense” on the very first day of college.

  Unlike her nature, she had spent three hours trying to pick the right dress because she had wanted to blend in. She had thought of settling in NYC and making friends and she had decided that NYC would bring in the real change in her life.

  However, all her plans had failed to materialize and she realized that absolutely nothing would improve her life. The only good thing about her life was her grandparents. She came home to see her little grandmother taking care of granddad and the sight warmed her heart.

  She spent her evenings with them and they often told tales of the times when they were young. They wished that Sarah too would find the right guy and her heart cried a little at the lack of a special someone.

  She never told them about her college because she didn’t want them to feel that she didn’t fit in the American crowd. It wasn’t like London was great either. Her life kind of sucked, no matter where she lived.

  ***

  A month had passed since Sarah Watkins joined college and things were pretty much the same for her. She was still picked by girls for her “weird taste” in clothes. The guys never gave her a second look and there were rumors that the British babe dated girls. She tried to ignore all these rumors and decided she would focus on her career.

  She had chosen Arts and had picked up poetry because she was really passionate about poems. She always believed that a poem had the power to narrate what the heart often hid. If you read between the lines of a poem, you can see into the heart of the poet. No one ever writes things they do not feel. Sarah had written a lot of dark poems and even macabre. However, the genre that appealed the most to her was a eulogy. There was something so romantic about reading a eulogy as it told the tale of someone who left.

  The college had appointed a new professor and Sarah wondered what he would be like. There were rumors that the professor had once been a bad boy, but Sarah knew she should not judge. The rumors often painted the wrong picture and she didn’t want to judge someone on the basis of what others had to say.

  She, however, wished that the professor would be better than the lady who had been teaching so far. You truly needed the right professor to bring the spark in poetry alive. As Sarah was wondering about these thoughts and was walking the corridor, she bumped into someone.

  At nearly 6 feet 2 inches, the guy looked like a fitness model. He had turquoise eyes and his blonde hair was impeccably styled. He walked so effortlessly, but there was an élan in his stance. He wore tattered jeans and his tee read, “I own myself”. Sarah Watkins found herself unable to breath as merely looking at the man made her think of a lot of dirty things. She wasn’t the one to fantasize about random men, but there was something in the way he held her gaze that made her wish she could say something smart.

  She had not seen the guy before and quickly assumed that he must be a newcomer.

  “I am Sarah Watkins. You seem to be the new guy here. I know it is difficult to adjust in college and I am telling it from my experience. I had a disastrous first day and I don’t know why but I want to make it good for you. I would like to help you. I am Sarah Watkins by the way.” She stopped when she realized she was blabbering. She had said her name twice and had just made a fool of herself.

  When the guy didn’t mock her, she was delighted even more. He held out his hands and said, “I am Ryan. Nice to meet you, Sarah.”

  “Ryan Gosling?” she said before she could stop herself.

  He laughed and she wanted to kiss him right there. She couldn’t understand what it was about the guy that made her so desperate, but she smiled too.

  “I am Ryan O’Shea. Definitely not the charming Ryan Gosling you have been thinking of, but I guess I am not bad either.” He winked at her and she almost swooned. “Thanks for the help Sarah, but I think I will be just fine. I hope to bump into you again.” With these words, he passed her a smile and walked away.

  Sarah wanted him to stay and she wondered if she would ever see him again. Suddenly, she wished she was one of those pretty girls who could charm guys just by the way they blinked their eyes. She looked down at her clothes and wondered if she had dressed pretty; would things be different.

  As she realized that some things never change like her miserable state in the field of romance, she thought to forget the whole incident. When she looked at her watch, she realized that she was late for the class. She rushed as it was her poetry class and she didn’t want to make a bad impression on the new teacher.

  When she entered the class, the teacher had his back turned and she quickly slipped in her seat which was (un)luckily the very first row. The teacher wore a black leather jacket and was looking for something in the cabinet. He was probably keeping his stuff and was still to formally introduce himself. Sarah quickly took out her notebook and wrote down a few random lines which she always did. Suddenly, her head jerked at the sound of a familiar voice.

  “Hello, class. I am Ryan O’Shea, your new professor for poetry.”

  “Holy Shit!” Sarah exclaimed; a bit too loudly, for the class to hear. Ryan gave her a smile and winked again, in front of the whole class.

  “Nice to meet you again, Sarah Watkins. Figured, we would bump again soon, but hadn’t known you were in my class.”

  Sarah stood there with her mouth shaped into the perfect ‘O’ because not only was Ryan her professor, but he had also acknowledged her in front of the whole class. In one month of her college life, Sarah wasn’t sure whether any of her colleagues really knew what her surname w
as.

  “Any problem, Sarah? Are you alright?”

  Sarah was definitely alright, more than alright. She was basking in the new glory. She knew that this would be a really good ride. She smiled, nodded in approval and then allowed her the pure pleasure of once again checking out Ryan who looked hotter than Gosling and given the way she used to crush on Ryan Gosling, it meant, he was really HOLY SMOKING HOT.

  The class was terrific and Ryan really had a way with poetry. He knew how to hold the attention of the class and took no shit, unlike the last professor who never really cared what others had to say. When Sarah had met Ryan in the corridor, he was without his jacket and he looked every bit like a badass college student. She had no clue that she had bumped into a professor.

  With the leather jacket and the hair now combed back rather than styled in the messy way it was back in the corridor, she knew Ryan could role play very well. As the bell rang signaling that the class was over, Sarah stayed back.

  Ryan smiled at her and gestured her to come to the desk.

  “I am sorry Ryan. I mean Sir. I didn’t know you were the new professor.”

  “Call me Ryan. I appreciate that you tried reaching out to me. I didn’t mind the bumping either.” He looked her in the eye and she smiled nervously. Clearly, he enjoyed the conversation and he knew the kind of effect he had on Sarah.

  She stayed there hoping to come up with something to keep the conversation going.

  Ryan chipped in, saving her the trouble. “So, Sarah, you’re into poetry? What makes you take up poems?”

  She felt comfortable discussing things she was good at. She took up a chair and they both spoke for a really long time. She didn’t have classes for the next two slots and she figured Ryan had time to spare as well.

  She discussed her love for sonnets, haiku and how she struggled a bit with rhyming couplets. When Ryan asked her about eulogy and ballad, her heart did a somersault because she knew he was the person who could invade her heart.

  Ryan finally looked at the watch and said that he had to meet the Dean for some official documents. He thanked Sarah and said that they would talk again.

  As Ryan O’Shea left the room, Sarah Watkins knew things in NYC had just gotten interesting. He might be the kind of guy who was out of her league, but that didn’t mean she didn’t have the kind of thoughts she perhaps should not think.

  As she walked to her next class, all she could really think was how pristine his turquoise eyes looked.

  ***

  The semester had started and everything in NYC started appearing a lot more colorful to Sarah. She had a reason to wake up every morning and attend her classes – well, in particular, her poetry class. Ryan had an enigmatic effect on her and she was completely under his spell. He was like a breath of fresh air for her when she had felt like drowning.

  She had an ordinary face and her blues eyes weren’t vibrant enough to turn heads on the streets to get her second look. Ryan, on the other hand, looked like a perfect manifestation of Adonis. He was a Greek God in every possible sense, a living, breathing, walking example of perfection. He was everything that everyone wanted to be, and something Sarah could never have.

  She knew that Ryan was just a dream, something that she could only stare from a distance but could truly never have. The university wasn’t as appealing as she thought it would. It was just like high school with bigger bullies and adults. Ryan’s lessons were the only things that made her look forward to every day, and nothing else. Nothing else mattered to her anymore.

  She found it hard to adjust in the new environment. People started making fun of her British accent or the way how she used to walk. They would call her “frozen eyed” while some would just make false presumptions about her. Sarah was a kind of person who preferred staying alone. She had found a solace in loneliness. She was a kind of person who had no best friend, or a big list of people to call. She was by herself. She has always been by herself. A lonely wolf howling for her moon.

  It was just like any other day when Ryan entered the class. He was a couple of minutes late. Sarah had always been an extremely punctual person and never liked those who were late. It was a big turn off for her, but Ryan was an exception. She was relieved to see him again.

  “We are going to read Walt Whitman today,” he announced and they all opened Leaves of Grass, a collection of poetry written by Walt Whitman. He narrated those beautiful lines in his peculiar accent. Sarah tried to decode it, but couldn’t really figure out his accent or his roots. She was one of those girls who found accents extremely sexy. It was a big turn on for her. She always believed that one could figure out a lot about someone with their accents – their roots, their likes and dislikes, their passion, and who they are. But it was not the same with Ryan. He was a mystery she would love to spend the rest of her life, trying to figure out. He was a puzzle she desperately wanted to solve.

  When Ryan recited those words, he looked at her, the way a lion would look at his prey a few seconds before ripping it apart. Their eyes met and Sarah saw a sense of anger in his eyes. But it wasn’t just rage or fury – his eyes had an amalgamation of passion and comfort. He was one of those hunters who would feel sad for their prey. She saw it in his eyes – the sense of compassion and warmth he had for Sarah, even when he wanted to rip her apart. She quickly looked the other way, as she couldn’t find comfort in that look. She wanted to move, but there was something about Ryan that screamed danger from a distance.

  That day, she couldn’t stop thinking about Ryan and what he really meant by that look. She felt a little discomfort, but at the same time, found that look to be insanely sexy and alluring. After she completed her assignment, she tried to take a nap, but couldn’t slumber, as all she could think of was Ryan’s turquoise eyes and how he made her heart skip numerous beats with just a single look.

  She was on an endless trail of thoughts when her grandmother knocked her door. “Are you there, Sarah?” she asked in her feeble voice. Sarah realized that something was wrong that was troubling her grandmother, as she didn’t really disturb her after late evening. “Yes, what happened?” she said and quickly opened the door.

  “Your granddad is not feeling well and is having this terrible headache. There is no aspirin in the house, can you please get some, my child?” she asked. Sarah couldn’t say no to her, as their well-being meant the world to her. “Sure, no problem. I will be back soon,” she said and quickly put on her coat, and left to visit the nearby pharmacist that was just walking distance away from their home.

  It was a late night and Sarah knew that her neighborhood wasn’t known for its clean streets and friendly environment. She tried to avoid any eye contacts and go unnoticed. It wasn’t tough for her, as all her life she had been that invisible girl who was always unnoticed. She visited the pharmacist and got some aspirins for her granddad.

  When she walked back home, she realized that the alley was dark. It was not a safe place, but there was no other option. From the corner of her eyes, she felt a shadow following her. She didn’t want to look back or confront. She knew it was not the wisest of decisions. She paced up her walk and tried to walk as fast as could to her home.

  In order to look busy and alert, she opened her cell phone and browsed through her contact list. There was no one whom she could call in that ungodly hour. After giving it a quick thought, she decided to call her grandmother. When she was about to make the call, she realized that the shadow was almost next to her. She felt a tap of her shoulder and knew that there was no escape.

  “Help!” she shouted at the top of her voice and turned back. The moment she turned back, her legs crossed and she fell on the ground, bruising her knee.

  “Sarah, are you all right?” he said. Sarah looked at that charming face and his turquoise eyes and knew that she was safe.

  “Mr. Ryan O’ Shea, it’s you!” that was not a question, but more of a statement. She could recognize that beautiful face from a distance.

  “Of course it is
me. Are you fine?” he asked and helped her getting back on her feet.

  “I think so,” she said and saw the bruise on her knees. She wasn’t that fine after all.

  “I saw you walking down from the pharmacist’s shop with a worried expression on your face. I wanted to make sure that everything was fine. I was concerned about you and tried to have a conversation. When I tried to walk towards you, you just ran in the opposite direction and didn’t look back,” Ryan explained the entire scenario.

  “Yes, yes, everything is fine, Mr. Ryan,” she said with a hesitant tone in her voice.

  “I live nearby. Let me take you home and clean your wound. And you can call me Ryan!” he offered.

  “Thank you, Ryan, but I’ll be fine. I live nearby too. I won’t have any problem,” Sarah said and tried to walk a little. The moment she took the second step, she almost fell on the ground. Almost.

  As she realized that her legs were not strong enough, she tripped and found her shelter in Ryan’s arms. He held her before she could feel on the ground and Sarah felt each and every muscle on Ryan’s arms. His chest felt strong and Sarah was pretty sure that it was made up of iron.

  “You are not fine,” he said with a wicked smile on his face. He knew that she wasn’t fine and held her in his arms.

  “But I have to go home. My granddad is not well and I need to give him these medicines,” she explained as Ryan held her in his arms and started walking towards the opposite direction.

  “Okay, then guide me the way to your place. I will take you there!”

  “Like this?” Sarah questioned him, as she lay peacefully in his arms.

  “Do you have any problem with it?” He asked.

  “Not at all sir,” she gave him a truthful answer and flirted a little with her blue eyes.

  “Just Ryan!” he corrected her and started walking home.