MILITARY ROMANCE: The War Within Himself (Alpha Bad Boy Marine Army Seal) (Contemporary Military Suspense & Thriller Romance)

by Claire Branson

  He leaned toward her. “Because we’re looking for the same thing.”

  She gazed right into his emerald eyes, the perfect complement to her sapphire ones. She couldn’t deny the similarities, the clues slapping her in the face. “And what is that?”

  He rolled his eyes. “Don’t be daft.”

  She just kept her stare even.

  “The Kaharans?”

  She furrowed her brow. “I’ve never heard of—”

  “The lost ones,” he said, his fist clenching.

  Emily glanced at his hand and then at him, her own heart fluttering in her chest. This was the first mention she had heard of it from anyone that wasn’t Mauve. “What do you know about them?”

  But he just stood up, glancing around her office, a sudden disinterest taking over his whole frame. “Come to lunch with me tomorrow. There’s a café at the corner. I will explain everything.”

  Emily wanted to protest this, but he turned and left before she could manage to get the words out of her mouth.

  Chapter Three

  As afraid as Emily was, she could not deny her fascination with Lycon. There he sat across from her, his long fingers caressing the rim of his cup of coffee, his lips morphing this way and that as the unique sound of his voice spilled from them.

  Every word felt carefully chosen, engineered for a specific purpose. She peered at him with her searching eyes, taking in everything from his bushy brows to his chiseled bone structure and full lips. Her heart thudded in her chest just at the mundane thought that she sat a mere foot away from him.

  Her drive to learn more about who he was, what he looked for, and why he struck her as so similar to herself competed with a more womanly desire. With every movement he made, part of her wished that he would just reach across the table and touch her.

  She wanted to know what that felt like in the real life: Lycon’s touch.

  “So what is Kahara?”

  “My home planet,” he said after a sip of his coffee.

  Emily stabbed a piece of lettuce with her fork but waited before putting it into her mouth. “Are there others like you?” She internally kicked herself for this. It was an obvious question.

  He nodded.

  She furrowed her brow. “Then why are you here?”

  His lips folded into the crooked smile she had grown to enjoy so much. “I’m looking for others like myself.”

  Her heart skipped a beat. But could he know?

  “So you’re Kaharan?” her voice trembled with excitement. All these years she had gone searching for the very thing that had just landed right in her lap.

  He nodded.

  “So there is a Kahara…a planet…” She laughed at herself. “I can’t believe this. My whole life I think a part of me just assumed Mauve was crazy.”

  “Only a part of you.”

  Emily nodded, placing that stabbed lettuce into her mouth.

  “Who is Mauve?”

  “Just my adoptive father. The story goes that he found my mother when she was pregnant with me.”

  “Where are they now?”

  Emily gulped. A block came crashing down in the back of her head. She wasn’t sure she wanted to talk about her parents. Not like this. Not with him. For all she knew, he could have been responsible for their deaths, anyway.

  “I don’t know,” she said.

  The gleam in his eye told her that he suspected she was lying.

  She tried to turn on him to take the attention off herself. “So why is it that you’ve got a whole planet at your disposal but you come here to look for others like yourself?”

  His chest rose and fell with his breath. “Because I don’t have a whole planet. No one does. Not anymore.”

  She blinked. “What do you mean?”

  He gulped down the last bit of his coffee and placed it on the edge of the table. “Our planet…”

  She like the sound of that, “Our planet.”

  “…was destroyed by a comet. Impact killed almost every living thing, not all at once, but over time. What’s left of our population lives in a space ship circling Earth.”

  Emily’s heart dropped. “So does that mean I’ll never see it? My true home?” Her eyes stung with tears.

  Then, when she least expected it, he did reach over and place his hand over hers. Their skin seemed to meld together, the fit perfect. A chill shot up her spine at that sensation, her eyes wide. Suddenly everything was brighter, louder, stronger. As inappropriate as this was, as ungrounded as she felt, she couldn’t bring herself to pull away.

  “I know. It is tragic.”

  “So you want to settle on Earth?”

  “That is part of it.” He removed his hand, using it to pick up his sandwich.

  Her skin felt cold where it had been.

  “What’s the other part?”

  He furrowed his brow and pursed his lips, as if he were trying to give his best explanation for whatever was going on. “There are no women left…well, a small population of elders and councilors. If we don’t find others, perhaps here, on Earth…we’ll go extinct.”

  He didn’t have to spell out the details for Emily to understand what was going on. “Is that why you have taken an interest in me?” Her voice came out tight and strained.

  “I could never force anything on you.”

  Somehow this qualification made things worse. Her stomach twisted and turned over itself as she tried to hold her face in an even stare, but the fact of the matter was that she had no idea what she would do if he posed the true question. She didn’t know a lot about her Kaharan parents, but she did know what Mauve had told her about her mother: She died giving birth to her, because her blood lacked an essential protein of replenishment. She barely survived the strain of the birth and couldn’t rebuild herself when it was over. Mauve had warned her from the moment that she had become a woman. If she ever got pregnant, she would die.

  The same fate that doomed her mother loomed over Emily’s head. Even if she wanted to, she could never give Lycon what he needed. So she avoided the subject.

  “But you did stalk me,” she said, a playful gleam in her wet eyes.

  He smiled, an unlikely twinkle in his eyes. “Guilty.”

  “For weeks.”

  “How do you know that?” he asked, an eyebrow raised.

  “I dreamt of you.” She stared right at him, watching his eyes widen ever so slightly.

  “You did?”

  Emily nodded, gazing down at her plate. Her whole body told her, “Yes. This is a good guy. This feels right. Go after it.” But that thing she knew about her mother and herself loomed overhead. “I guess a part of me must have sensed your presence.”

  A smile played at his lips. “I’m not sure how that makes me feel.”

  She shook her head. “Me either.” It was a lie, because she knew exactly how she felt. She wanted to jump across that table. She wanted to know what it felt like to actually be kissed by him. Her body had anticipated this moment for weeks. But she took another bite of her salad and again tried to push it out of her head.

  “So do you enjoy this kind of investigative work?”

  He chuckled, shaking his head. “Of course not.”

  “So why do you do it?”

  His stare grew distant. “I am hoping that if I succeed in my mission, it will help me gain favor with the commander.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “My parents were descendants of the usurpers that caused a revolution on our planet. We live in a homogenous society, and hundreds of years ago we were striated. There was nobility and then the rest of us. My ancestors started the revolution that landed us right where we are right now. But as soon as a new council took power they wanted to crush all memories of the violent war. It was called a failure in the Kaharan mind because it led us to turn against each other. Those who were blamed for it were marginalized. I grew up on a farm in the middle of nowhere. But now there is no farm, or capital or council really. There is only the commander
, and I see in him a chance to redeem my family’s name, even if they are all dead.” His voice cracked on that last word.

  Emily gulped. She saw parts of her own story in his. “My parents must have been the same way. They had to have been running from something and toward something.”

  “They must have been exiled.”

  Emily scoffed. “Sometimes I feel like I was too.” Her voice grew heavy. “Exiled from this place I never knew of and prohibited to really be a part of the place I have known my entire life. I don’t think I belong anywhere.”

  She could feel that mental block in her head disintegrating with every new word that came out of her mouth.

  He touched her again, but this time he took both of her hands in his. He locked eyes with her, refusing to let her look anywhere else. Emily could feel her body leaning toward him. His pull was almost cellular, precise and strong. She wanted nothing more than to pore into him.

  But that was deadly.

  Every new second was another moment her body grew into his. This whole thing was surreal, dreamlike, but she couldn’t let herself sit there any longer. This Kaharan would be the death of her. She stood up, knocking her chair over and ripping her hand out of his all in one motion.

  “I’m sorry.” She glanced around at the people who sat around her, confused expressions on their faces.

  “What is it?” Lycon stood.

  She dropped a handful of cash onto the table. “I can’t really. Please. Don’t ask.” She scurried out of the café, tears streaming down her face. She had only traveled a couple of steps before the gravity of the situation locked her in her spot. She pressed her back against the wall on the outside, turning her face up to the sky.

  How cruel it was that she had been presented with all of the answers only to have them accompanied by an impossible ultimatum.

  “Emily?”

  She groaned. “Oh God.”

  Lycon had run after her, his jacket flying behind him.

  It had taken everything in her to run away the first time.

  “What did I do wrong?” He approached her, a cautious look in his eyes, confusion morphing his face.

  Emily looked at him and saw in him a window to her past…and her future, and yet she was helpless to go through it. “Nothing. You did nothing wrong. This has nothing to do with you—”

  “So what is it, then?”

  He was so close. She caught his scent in the light breeze, warm and sharp at the same time. “I just can’t do it.”

  “Are you afraid?”

  “Yes,” she lied.

  They were inches apart. “Don’t be.”

  Her breath came in shallow wisps. “Isn’t there anyone else you can pick?”

  “I had my heart set on you.”

  Her stomach turned, butterflies coming to life and flying all over. “I’m sorry…” Her voice faltered as she caught sight of his lips, hanging right there…

  “I’ll take you up to the space ship with me. I can introduce you to whoever you want to meet. I can show you who you are.”

  The desperation in his voice cut right to her core.

  Emily started to consider it. She could stay right now. She could go with him and see his ship and meet his people…her people. But one thing would lead to another and she would find herself right back here, making this same damn choice. Her only option was cut it off, right here. Right now.

  But then she got another look at him gazing down at her, scanning her from head to toe, inside and out. Their faces hovered less than an inch apart…

  She felt him before he touched her. Her whole body anticipated him. She saw him with her eyes and her hands and her skin and her heart. Then their lips met and her eyes rolled back. Her knees buckled. She clung to him with everything inside her, holding ever tighter because she knew she would soon have to let go.

  “Please, just come with me.”

  She knew it wouldn’t be smart to look at him after that, but she couldn’t resist. His stare was just as cloudy as hers felt. His droopy eyelids told her that he had felt what she did. “Yes. Okay, I will.” She thought if she lied to herself and to him that she might be able to make it out of that whole thing alive.

  Chapter Four

  Lycon stood at their agreed place: a clearing in the woods behind the beach. Rain came down hard and heavy, the first one of the season, but he kept his eyes trained at the empty path, his heart thudding in his chest.

  She was late.

  Too late.

  Fifteen minutes could be excused. Twenty. Thirty. But forty. All he could think of was the fear in her eyes, the way she had trembled when he touched her. Perhaps he had not been persuasive enough. Perhaps he should have done more than kiss her. Perhaps he should have done nothing at all.

  And all he could think of was the look in her eyes when he had pulled away. He had felt her affection like a sweet scent oozing off her. She was falling for him, he could be certain of at least that much.

  But then an hour passed and there was still no sign of Emily.

  His heart burned hot, his blood boiling and his fists clenching. She was his last hope at redemption. He didn’t believe that the commander would give him another six months to make headway on the colonization project. If he didn’t do it with her, he would just be relieved of his post and sent back up to the space ship, where he would live out the rest of his days praising the real soldiers while cleaning waste receptacles and being largely ignored by everyone that mattered.

  He had only really known her for little over a month, and yet she had managed to betray him in a way that one else could. After another ten minutes passed, he decided to return to his raider and gather his hunting materials. He would rather drag her kicking and screaming than go back with nothing at all.

  ***

  Emily rummaged around her room, stuffing everything she could lay her hands on into the duffel bag she had pulled out of the back of her closet. As soon as she had left Lycon in front of that café, she had regretted her decision…to go out with him in the first place, that is. Now that they had met and talked and touched and kissed, how were they ever going to let each other go?

  She knew that he had been stalking her all of this time with her largely being unable to detect it. It then followed that he could come back here at any second and take her against her will. She knew she would have to get away.

  There was a soft knock on her door, followed by the sound of it being pushed open anyway. “Emily?”

  Mauve stood in the doorway, his arms crossed and his face folded into a frown of confusion.

  She sighed. God good, she definitely did not have time to explain. “Uhm, I have to go away for a while.”

  “That’s quite all right. But where? And why?”

  “I…” Her breath came quick and heavy as she darted around the room.

  Underwear.

  Toothbrush.

  Rain coat.

  “I think I found a lead on what I’ve been looking for, and I have to go after it.”

  “What lead?”

  She brushed past him, running down the stairs. “I really can’t explain, Mauve! I’m late for the train!”

  She had no intention of taking any form of public transportation, for Lycon could probably find a way to track her through it.

  She slammed the door behind her and hopped into her truck before he could say more. In the next short moment, she had pulled out of her driveway and set off down the road to the main highway.

  ***

  Lycon swerved into Emily’s driveway. He had driven so quickly that his fingers were still pruned from the ocean and his hair still dripped salty water. He wondered how he could have been so soft as to give her the choice in the first place.

  He stepped out of his black Volvo, slammed it, and made his way to the front door.

  The man, Mauve, answered the door on the second knock, his head jutting out and his eyes wide. “What is it? Who are you?”

  “Have you seen Emily?”


  Perhaps this wasn’t the best first line he could have come up with.

  Mauve just stared at him for a little too long and then replied, “No.”

  Lycon clenched his fist, sucking in a breath and huffing it out before he replied, “Please, it is essential that I find her.”

  But Mauve just shook his head. “I don’t think I feel comfortable with telling you anything more.” But just as he tried to shut the door, Lycon grabbed it and held it open.

  “You don’t understand. I have to find her. We had an agreement.”

  But Mauve glared at him with crazy eyes, his lips pursed. “I have nothing more to say.” With that he shoved on the door with all of his weight.

  Lycon ripped his hand away to prevent his hand from getting bashed in. Once Mauve had the shut the door on him, he stepped back onto the driveway and started thinking. Her car wasn’t there, which meant she must have left. Run away?

  Most likely.

  But where?

  West.

  Lycon knew, just like any other Australian, that if you wanted to disappear you went west, or south, whatever direction would take you into the uninhabited desert center where you could go undetected, where no one would dare follow you.

  Lycon’s heart fluttered at this realization and at the prospect of another hunt. Yet, as he set off onto the highway, a small part of him wished she hadn’t gone out that way. He wondered how she presumed to survive.

  ***

  Emily’s tears flowed quicker than she could wipe them away. Her scarf and jacket had become soaked at their neck lines. Her face was damp and clammy from the salty liquid. A pile of tissues sat in the cup holder. She wondered if it were possible for a girl to run out of tears, but two hours of crying had proved this untrue.

  She peered straight head, the blur of her tears amplifying the ambiguity caused by the rain. She could barely see five feet in front of her. The road flooded, but the thought of stopping didn’t even cross her mind. How could she?

  She had to get away from Lycon and away from her own destiny as quickly as possible.