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No Nonsense

Page 30

by Joey Barton


  To Harry Tyrrell, my first coach. To Jim Cassell, the academy director who believed in me. To everyone at Knowsley United, who gave me the best football education a young lad could have. To Brad Orr, my childhood friend, teammate and now my agent, who is always there for me.

  To all my other teammates, and acquaintances I have spent time with during the course of my life. There are too many of you to mention but your impact, sometimes big and sometimes small, positive and negative, has helped shape me as a person.

  Thank you.

  Finally to Eddy Jennings and Andrew Taylor and their families, with whom I share a great friendship. I have no doubt that without them this book would never have been written. Thanks for pushing me when I didn’t want to do it. You were right! (You know how hard that is for me to do!)

  Last and by no means least, to my beautiful children Cassius and Pieta. This book was written with you in mind. I wanted to put down in words the difficulties I had in life. I wanted you both to be able to pick up something and have some context to the man I was, am and will become. A fundamental change occurred in me when you came into this world. A desire to better myself, not for ego, not out of a desire for something material, but for a justification.

  I wanted you to be proud of your father. To be proud of who he is. To see all the things he has done. And not attempt to try to justify who I was or what I did. Hopefully, I will get the chance over the course of our lives to prove that, day in and day out. But if I don’t, this book can attempt to make some sense of the person I was to date.

  Here’s to the last 30-odd years. I can’t wait for the next chapters to begin.

  JB x

  A parlour game takes place whenever Joe Barton does or says something significant. Internet search engines are fired up, social media accounts are scrutinised, and his supposed inconsistency and fecklessness are condemned. Headlines generate more heat than light, and everyone’s prejudices are confirmed.

  In that spirit, and in the interests of full disclosure, I’ll save Mr Google and assorted cyber warriors a little work. In a couple of intemperate columns in 2008 and 2011, I suggested he was ‘obnoxious’ and advised him to ‘stop clinging to victimhood and delusions of your own grandeur’. I didn’t know him then, as I do now, but we are all entitled to an uninformed opinion.

  That’s why, when Joe approached me to collaborate on this book, I was intrigued. This was a unique chance to explore assumptions based on 140 characters and a rap sheet read in isolation. When I told him of my doubts about his authenticity, during an initial dinner in Liverpool, he laughed and used them as justification for our proposed partnership.

  I had done my homework, speaking to his teammates, coaches and managers. I was struck by the respect Joe commanded within football, and the clarity of the character that emerged from the consultation process. I was advised to ‘treat him like a man’ and told ‘he will give you everything, if you do the same’.

  That is what a co-writer needs to hear. Commitment, complete and unwavering, generates credibility. Joe has been open, engaging, thoughtful and thorough. This book isn’t an indulgence; he understands its permanence, and has treated it with due care and attention. I cannot make you like him, but I hope it enables you to understand him, and the game that shaped him, a little better.

  I knew we were on the right lines in our second meeting, when he tried, unsuccessfully, to wind me up about the existence of God. In terms of philosophy, I still don’t know my Aristotle from my Engels, but I like to think I have stimulated his curiosity, examined his intellect and challenged his conscience.

  Thanks, first of all, to the Barton family for their patience and assistance. They take their lead from the matriarch, Julia. Joe’s deference to his Nan, as he served us tea on the best china in her front room, was as revealing as the manner in which his Dad, Joe Sr, addressed the turbulence of his life and times.

  I have been helped immensely by Joe’s small circle of close friends, most notably Eddy Jennings, Brad Orr and Andy Taylor, whom I insisted on visiting in Preston prison with Joe. I wanted to trigger latent emotions by reminding him of the parallel world which could so easily have ensnared him.

  He is, and will always be, his own man, but I have come to realise he identifies with individuals whose strength of character is matched by acute emotional intelligence. The insight of two such figures, Steve Black and Sean Dyche, was especially valuable to me. The memory of a third, Peter Kay, moved Joe to tears.

  Joe’s voice, moods and mannerisms became familiar to Caroline Flatley, who transcribed 350,000 words of direct interviews for this book, a figure which more than doubles when I take into account complementary notes. I can’t thank her enough; she is an important sounding board because she is such a keen judge of character. Suffice to say she found Joe fascinating and enlightening.

  This book would not have been possible without the wisdom and foresight of Ian Chapman, Ian Marshall and their team at Simon & Schuster. Their professionalism and expertise has been hugely appreciated. It would be remiss of me not to thank Rory Scarfe, my literary agent at Furniss Lawton, and Joe’s literary representative, David Riding.

  Since writing is such an immersive process, I have to end where it all starts, at home. I couldn’t do this without the support of my wife Lynn and the amused detachment of my children, Nick, Aaron, William and Lydia. As I type these words, my granddaughter Marielli is demanding to use this keyboard, so good night, and good luck.

  Michael Calvin, June 2016

  INDEX

  A note about the index: The pages referenced in this index refer to the page numbers in the print edition. Clicking on a page number will take you to the ebook location that corresponds to the beginning of that page in the print edition. For a comprehensive list of locations of any word or phrase, use your reading system’s search function.

  (the initials JB refer to Joey Barton)

  Adams, Tony, 116, 174

  Aguero, Sergio, 233, 234

  Alcock, Mr (teacher), 36

  Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), 117–18

  in jail, 9

  Ali, Muhammad, 16, 194

  All Blacks, 138, 300

  Allardyce, Sam, 148, 149, 150, 159, 190, 203

  and JB assault charge, 154

  Alli, Dele, 66

  Alonso, Xabi, 179–81

  Ameobi, Shola, 134, 320

  Anelka, Nicolas, 66, 80, 84, 144

  bar brawl involving, 91–2

  Anigo, Jose, 237–8

  Arfield, Scotty, 296, 303

  Arsenal FC, 159–60, 174, 187, 200

  interest shown in JB by, 224

  Ashley, Mike, 159, 176, 182, 183, 185, 186–7, 195–6, 197

  JB publicly criticises, 199–200

  Asia Trophy, 101

  Assou-Ekotto, Benoit, 270

  Aston Villa FC, 143, 179, 312

  Atletico Madrid FC, 193

  Austin, Charlie, 66, 252, 267–8

  Baines, Leighton, 53

  Balotelli, Mario, 234

  Barcelona FC, 193

  Barmby, Nick, 54

  Barron, Paul, 185

  Barry, Gareth, 135, 299

  Barton, Andrew (brother), 49, 105–6, 108, 152–3

  birth of, 25

  Barton, Cassius Joseph (son), 191, 202, 294

  birth of, 13–14

  JB’s ambitions for, 322, 325

  naming of, 16–17

  religious school excludes, 313

  Barton, Dave, 85

  Barton, Joey:

  and alcohol, 50, 88, 99, 101–3, 117–19, 131, 151, 152, 159, 232

  and AA meetings, 9, 117–18

  bail condition concerning, 158, 159

  assault charges against, 5, 146, 152–5, 164 (see also Dabo, Ousmane)

  and conviction, 160

  jailed for, see Barton, Joey: in jail

  badminton champion, 162

  Big Issue articles of, 214

  birth of, 15, 20–1

  boxing by, 42
>
  car incident involving, 82

  coaching thoughts of, 315–21

  as commentator, 220

  criminal-damage charge against, and acquittal, 139

  ‘Danger Mouse’ nickname of, 36

  diary kept by, 280, 284

  excerpt from, 302–3

  driving ban imposed on, 82

  early life of, 21–2, 24–43, 45–61, 67–9

  fan hit by car of, 98

  FA’s violent-conduct charge against, 171

  fights won and lost by, 4

  first Everton kit of, 35

  first Premier League dismissal of, 132

  foot injuries of, 150–1, 177, 183–4, 299

  and enforced rest period, 184

  head injury to, 81

  improper-conduct charge against, 131–2

  Insight Profile of, 289–92

  Instagram post of, 297

  in jail, 155, 157–8, 160–71 (see also Barton, Joey: assault charges against)

  and AA meetings, 9

  and bail, awaiting trial, 158–60

  and betting, 163–4

  and death threats, 165

  football played in, 161–2

  move to Strangeways, 165

  and release, 171

  rituals and routines in, 164

  Kay’s letter to, 254–5

  knee injury to, 176

  man of the match, 84

  mental agility of, 213

  and missing-shirt incident, 80–1

  naming of, 17

  Newsnight appearance of, 215

  Oxford Union address of, 215–16

  and philosophy degree course, 257, 258–9

  Player of the Year, 308

  politics of, 194–5

  post-match interview of, 141–3

  Premier League debut of, 17

  Question Time appearance of, 214–19

  and religion, 19, 190, 313–14

  sides played for by, see individual sides by name

  at Sporting Chance clinic, 116–17

  and Tandy incident, see Tandy, Jamie

  tattoo on, 220

  taxi incident involving, 139

  and Thai sports bar fracas, 102–3, 109

  JB’s apology concerning, 114

  and reduced fine, 114

  Twitter activity of, 205, 207–8, 209–11, 231, 258, 288, 323

  and Hillsborough disaster, 210–11

  and uncle’s post office robbery, 21

  voracious reading by, 208

  Barton, Joseph (father):

  advice of:

  on fighting, 26, 42–3, 104

  on football, 8

  on JB’s remaining at Manchester City academy, 59

  and Beaton, 37–8

  bullying hated by, 25

  and Cassius’s birth, 13, 15

  deteriorating relationship between Rita and, 48–9

  dog mauls, 24–5

  and FA Vase final, 29

  faints at match, 85

  football-ground assault by, 32–3

  and Heighway, 52

  and Huyton Baddies, 23

  jack of all trades, 23

  and JB’s bail, 158

  and JB’s birth, 15

  JB’s changing relationship dynamic with, 115

  and JB’s dog incident, 24–5

  and JB’s early life, 15, 18

  JB’s training helped by, 60

  and JB’s uncles, 21

  OCD of, 34

  pre-match routines of, 34

  protective nature of, 24–5

  and Rita, 20

  Rita evicts, 49

  roofing work of, 15, 22

  singing voice of, 31

  soccer career of, 29–31, 32–3

  sport excellence of, 28

  Barton, Julia (paternal grandmother), 15, 18–22 passim, 28, 49–50

  and Georgia, 202

  and JB’s exit from Everton, 56

  and JB’s Question Time appearance, 217

  marriage of, 18

  maternal role of, 49

  and Pieta’s name, 19

  and press photographers, 114

  and prison visits, 7

  and religion, 313

  and Rita, misgivings concerning, 20

  Barton, Julie (aunt), 22

  Barton, Michael (brother):

  arrest of, 112

  birth of, 25

  JB reprimands, 111–12

  moves in with JB, 111

  and robberies, 110–12

  and Walker murder, 108–10, 112

  trial and sentence, 120–2

  Barton, Peter (paternal grandfather), 18–20, 28, 39

  and alcohol, 101

  death of, 18, 255

  and JB’s birth, 15

  and JB’s exit from Everton, 56, 57

  marriage of, 18

  Barton, Pieta Giulia (daughter), 202

  JB’s ambitions for, 322, 325

  naming of, 18, 19

  Beard, Phil, 227, 264, 275

  Beaton, Barry, 37–8

  Beaton, John ‘Bisto’, 37–8

  Beckham, David, 62, 215, 242

  Benarbia, Ali, 78, 81

  Benitez, Rafa, 179, 229

  Bergkamp, Dennis, 299

  Berkovic, Eyal, 78–9, 123

  Beye, Habib, 150

  Bhatia, Amit, 230, 265

  Big Issue, 214

  Bilic, Slaven, 286

  Billy (cellmate), 162–3, 169

  Binns, Marcus, 120

  Birmingham City FC, 252, 287, 304–5

  Bisto Kid, see Beaton, John ‘Bisto’

  Black, Steve, 189, 262–6, 268, 272, 273, 279–81, 293–4, 304, 317

  ‘bubble of strength’ analogy of, 295

  and ‘messages from the moment’, 300

  in NFL, 289

  Blackburn Rovers FC, 187, 193, 312

  Blair, Tony, 194

  Boksic, Alen, 80

  Bolton Wanderers FC, 17, 84, 101, 132, 233

  interest shown in JB by, 182

  Bond, Kevin, 265, 266–7

  Bosvelt, Paul, 86, 133, 144

  at fancy-dress party, 93

  Bournemouth FC, 259

  Bours, Louise, 216, 218, 219

  Boyd, George, 297

  Brady, Ian, 165

  Brailsford, Dave, 213

  Branch, Michael, 34

  Bremner, Billy, 90

  Brighton & Hove Albion FC, 259, 269, 308

  Bruce, Steve, 312

  Bunjevcevic, Goran, 84

  Bunn, Frankie, 58

  Burnley FC, 259

  Championship clinched by, 307

  and 5-0 win over Charlton, 302

  JB joins, 289, 309

  JB’s Player of the Year award with, 308

  as perfect football experience, 309–10

  promoted to Premier League, 31, 288, 294–5

  and psychometric testing, 289–92

  WhatsApp group within, 310

  Burton Albion FC, 282

  Butt, Nicky, 183

  Buxton, Jake, 272

  Calder, James, 183–4

  Calderwood, Colin, 183, 185

  Caldwell, Gary, 268

  Calzaghe, Joe, 69

  Campbell, Sol, 54

  Campo, Ivan, 84

  Capello, Fabio, 139

  Carlisle United FC, 33–4, 150

  Carlos, John, 194

  Carrick, Michael, 135

  Carroll, Andy, 9, 185, 187, 200, 320

  Cassell, Jim, 8, 58, 76

  JB offered pro contract by, 60

  Catlin, Sean, 46

  Caulker, Steven, 277

  Celtic FC, 312, 314

  Chapman, Les ‘Chappy’, 80, 102, 123–5

  and Thai sports bar fracas, 104

  Charity Shield, 1974, 90

  Charlton Athletic FC, 191, 294, 295, 297, 301–2

  Chelsea FC, 98, 178, 193, 225–6

  Chilcot Inquiry, 216–17, 218

  Chile national side, 277, 278, 281

  Chop
per (cellmate), 162

  Churchill, Winston, 208, 209, 251

  Clay, Joseph, 16

  Cole, Andy, 114

  Cole, Ashley, 136, 320

  Collier Row FC, 29

  Coloccini, Fabricio, 203

  Cooper, James, 102

  Corke, Kevin, 161

  Coventry City FC, 75–6

  Cox, Arthur ‘Coxy’, 75–7, 79, 84, 87, 230

  Crystal Palace FC, 198, 282

  Culshaw, Bob, 41

  Culshaw, Peter, 41

  Culshaw, Tom, 55

  Curbishley, Alan, 148, 149

  Curran, Margaret, 216

  Dabo, Ousmane, 143–7, 235

  JB charged with assault on, 146

  and sentence, 164

  Davies, Barry, 90

  Dean, Mike, 234

  Defoe, Jermain, 54

  Derby County FC, 152, 259, 269–73

  Derry, Shaun, 225, 232, 234, 260, 296

  Deschamps, Didier, 243

  Dewsnip, Neil, 52–3, 55, 56

  Di Matteo, Roberto, 229

  Dickov, Paul, 145

  Dimbleby, David, 215, 218

  Distin, Sylvain, 95, 144, 146

  Doncaster Rovers FC, 89

  Doolan, John, 89

  Dowd, Phil, 180

  Dowie, Iain, 178, 181

  Downes, Wally, 266–7

  Doyle, Neil, 3

  Duff, Mickey, 149

  Duncan Smith, Iain, 215

  Dunfield, Terry, 77–8

  Dunne, Richard, 89, 101, 102, 272, 273

  and Thai sports bar fracas, 103–5

  Dwyer, Martin, 16

  Dyche, Sean, 35–6, 229, 286, 287–9, 299, 307, 308, 309, 315

  Dyer, Kieron, 150

  Eastwood Town FC, 32

  Ecclestone, Bernie, 225

  Eddie (uncle), 20, 21

  Edwards, Shaun, 214, 305–6

  Ehiogu, Ugo, 80

 

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