A Little Bit of Crazy (Little Bits)

by A. E. Murphy

  “That must suck. I’ve always had my name and photos splashed about on occasion but I’ve always been too low on the scales for anybody to really care. Plus I’m a little on the crazy side. Hence the fact I got photographed surrounded by men after fleeing for Vegas two months after my wedding and one month after my father’s funeral,” I snort and sip my drink.

  “I’m sorry for your loss.”

  “I had a lot of time to prepare. It sucks but the fact I got a good few months to say goodbye. Not many people get that chance.”

  “That’s a very positive outlook,” he smiles slightly and grips my hand. “But it couldn’t have been easy, watching your father wither away.”

  My eyes are burning, I refuse to cry. I let out a little laugh and clear my throat, “Should have been a therapist Jacob.”

  We go to the shoot and I wait as hair and make-up get Jacob ready. It’s a pretty good setting, the place is packed full of people preparing for just the one shoot. Everyone greets me like royalty which is annoying so I tell them to pretend I’m not here while I hover over the snack table.

  “What do you think?” Jacob grins and steps out in nothing but a pair of tight boxers. Hubba, hubba.

  “I think you should ask someone that isn’t my wife,” James’ amused voice startles me from my ogling.

  I giggle and turn towards him, “I want one.” I point at Jacob.

  “No,” James sighs and throws Jacob a towel.

  I stick out my bottom lip, “But…”

  “Sorry Mr. Stone, I’m afraid my wife has an obsession with half naked males. I figured this out during an action movie the other day,” he chuckles and kisses my forehead before sizing Jacob up. Yes Jacob has a great body but my man is leaner, taller, and broader. And shinier, if that makes sense, his golden tan makes him glow. Jacob has a nice tan but it’s not as golden and definitely not natural.

  “And that doesn’t infuriate you?” Jacob grins eyeing us both curiously. His head is cocked a little like what a dog does when hearing a strange noise.

  James pulls me to his side and smiles down at me affectionately, “Hell yes it does. How would you like it if your wife insists on having a poster of Channing Tatum next to your bed?”

  I slap his chest and giggle, “Hey, I put your eyes on him.”

  “That’s just creepy.”

  “Whatever,” I roll my eyes and turn back to Jacob who is smiling warmly at us. “So this is my annoying husband James who has come to mark his territory. One second while he pisses on my leg.”

  “You are vulgar,” James grumbles in my ear and pinches my backside. “But yes, I came to size up the man who my wife has been obsessing about…”

  “I haven’t been obsessing, Marie has been obsessing. I just asked for a divorce and then a remarriage after bumping nasties with the fine man specimen,” I wink playfully at Jacob who bursts out laughing. “Nothing wrong with that.”

  “See what I have to put up with, how would you feel if I said I wanted to screw Rihanna?”

  I shrug, a smirk toying with my lips, “Threesome? That girl is ho- AHHH!” He lifts me up over his shoulder, cutting me off midsentence.

  Everybody starts laughing as he marches me towards the door, “Somebody get Rihanna on line one!” I pound his back, my body convulsing with laughter. “Ok, ok. My bad.”

  “You guys are great together,” Jacob chuckles whilst wiping tears from his eyes. “Did you actually put his eyes on a poster of Channing Tatum?”

  “She did,” James snorts his nose scrunches in mock disgust. “I should be worried but I’m not.”

  “Nah, unfortunately I may be a complete commitment-phobe but I’m a loyal one,” I grin a toothy grin and kiss him on the cheek.

  Jacob shakes his head, not understanding what I mean I assume. He voices his thoughts to James. “How’d you get a commitment-phobe to marry you?”

  James clears his throat, “Well, our marriage was…”

  “I fell head over heels in love, he popped the question I said, why not. Pretty boring.”

  “Sounds about right,” James beams down at me but the look in his eyes shows he knows I’m lying.

  Are you lying?

  I have no idea.

  So that went well. James showing up and marking his territory so to speak. He was extremely quiet on the way home, it was a little unnerving. Not that I said anything or plan to. In fact, I plan to go home, finish up my work, have a bath and fall asleep.

  For the tenth time since I pulled out my laptop James makes a huffing noise, an exaggerated sigh whilst shuffling every few minutes. I roll my eyes. I’m so not going to ask.

  Sigh. From James… AGAIN

  Huff. From James… AGAIN!

  Sigh.

  Huff.

  I slam my laptop closed and look at him with a raised eyebrow. “What?”

  “You fancy him.”

  “So?” I say with another eye roll and reopen my laptop.

  “You aren’t denying it?” he lets out a humorous laugh, his eyes widened in disbelief.

  I shrug, “Not going to deny the truth.”

  “If you were single, would you fuck him?”

  I nod with a small irritated, thin lipped smile. Why is he torturing himself? Really? “Yes. Most likely.”

  “If I gave you permission to screw him would you?” he says with a scrunched brow.

  I place my laptop on the coffee table. “Are you giving me permission?” I turn to him, tucking my legs beneath me and lean my elbow on the back of the couch.

  “Are you serious? I can never tell with you,” he frowns.

  My smile widens, “I’m being deadly serious. Are you giving me permission to fuck Jacob, that’s if he even wants to?”

  “No, like hell I am!” he snaps.

  I laugh out loud at the injured look on his face, “Then why are you asking ridiculous questions? You can clearly see he’s an attractive man. But honey you are ten times better. Would I screw him if I didn’t have you waiting for me at home with that monster dick of yours? Yes I would. But I’m not going to.”

  “I just, needed to know.” He replies but I see the softening of his eyes at my words.

  I reply, “No honey a need is something you can’t live without. A want is something you don’t need or require but desire. So you most definitely didn’t need to know this did you?”

  He shrugs and turns back to the TV, I can see the cogs working in his head. It’s amusing, his face twisting into a new expression every few seconds. Like a kaleidoscope of emotions on that pretty head of his.

  Huff. Shuffle. Sigh. Huff. DAMMIT.

  “What now?” I grind out and wait as he turns towards me. His expression neutral. “How many people have you slept with Maya?”

  “Five, you are my fifth,” I reply honestly and cross my arms over my chest. The look on his face is priceless.

  “I thought.”

  “I know.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  I wave him off with another tight lipped smile. My face probably seems more psychotic than understanding.

  Sighing, I say, “Can we drop this now.”

  “I’m sorry,” he mumbles and wraps me in his arms. I sag into his chest. “Thank you for being honest with me. Even if it fucking sucks.” This makes me giggle. “Not funny.”

  “You are baby, you are.”

  “Paul, Jeremy and Kyle are coming over tonight to watch the game,” James says to me down the phone. I’m working from home, he’s at actual work after refusing to spend the day in bed with me due to ‘too much to do today’. Pfft. “I completely forgot.”

  “That’s fine, we’ll order in. Bring some beer on the way home.” I hang up and flick through my magazine. Work can wait.

  Paul, Jeremy and Kyle were James’ groomsmen at our wedding. Kyle was his best man, he’s a great guy but has the most shocking red hair I’ve ever seen. Jeremy is a bear of a man, has his own security company. He looks like Morpheus off the Matrix, I tell him so on occasion.


  Now Paul, that’s a tough subject. Paul is the guy I lost my virginity to at the age of nineteen. He’s been James’ close friend for years. We had a, umm, casual relationship for a couple of years before just fucking on sight, meaning we stopped seeking each other and just literally fucked when we crossed paths for e.g. in a club I’d go home with him. On the street, I’d go home with him. Etc. The last time was two weeks before the wedding, though I gave him a blowjob two nights before when he came round begging for me to not marry James. He was drunk and insisted he was in love with me, that he was just waiting for me to decide I wanted a steady relationship.

  It sucked, like really sucked. I always had a soft spot for Paul, not only is he a black haired beauty but he’s also kind, considerate, a great lay and came whenever I called. If I wasn’t so up my own ass for the duration of our relationship I would have noticed the looks, the sweet touches and caresses. Worst problem, I haven’t seen him since my father’s funeral. And before that it was James’ stag do when he showed up on my doorstep pleading with me to take him instead. So I have no doubt in my mind tonight is going to be an awkward affair.

  I just have to remember to keep my hands to myself. My body is familiar with Paul, even though we kept our affair a secret, I know my hands could easily betray me. Our connection is strong seeing as he was my first. Most girls give their virginity to guys with zero experience putting them off sex or making them believe it’s always going to be mediocre.

  Let’ just say Paul gave me at least four orgasms before even prodding me with his stick and when he did by god I came apart at the seams. He’s very talented and was very gentle.

  The question is… do I tell James about me and Paul or shall I just leave it in the past?

  Definitely the past.

  Libido, you are a coward.

  We both are dearie.

  Definitely agreeing with you. Keep trap shut. Don’t say nothin’.

  Agreed. Or we may not get sex for a while.

  I nod once, confirming my own thoughts and read through the magazine. There are pictures of me and Jacob Stone a few pages in. Having dinner with Marie, him leaning over and playing with my hair. It looks intimate but I was there, it wasn’t intimate at all.

  I ignore the captions, I never read them for fear my heart would break. My personality may give an “I’m totally impervious and unbreakable” vibe but it’s not true. Words affect me as much as the next person, I just don’t let them get to me. Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

  Maya: You seen our pictures in Gossip Times?

  Jacob: Lol, looking at them now. You look prettyful.

  Maya: You’re a doll… anyway just thought I’d warn you in case you hadn’t seen them. Don’t tell me what they say.

  Jacob:They say how we’ve been photographed out and about. Just that I’m the new face for your advertising. Nothing bad

  Maya: Jacob Stone doesn’t speak English… I said DON’T tell me asshat!

  Jacob: So you did… What you up to?

  Maya: Laid naked in bed whilst Channing Tatum stares at me with my husband’s eyes. NOM!

  Jacob: So erm… I was just passing through. Wait ten minutes, don’t move and soon you’ll have Jacob Stone staring at you naked with his own eyes.

  Maya: Sounds fun! Will he be naked too?

  Jacob: He can be!!!!

  Maya: Dammit… I’m useless. My husband checks my phone every night when I go to

  sleep. I really shouldn’t have put that! Even if I was just playing. Gah! You are a bad influence Mr. Stone!

  Jacob: Promise me you’ll call me that whilst I’m naked and standing over you. HI JAMES!!!

  Maya: PMSL! I’m going! Get back to work! Go milk your face or something you do to make yourself so pretty.

  Jacob: Milk my face…??? Da fuq

  Maya: Bye Jacob.

  Jacob: Bye Maya ;)

  Completely truthful. James checks my phone every night. He thinks I don’t notice but I do and I leave everything for him to find. I’m pretty sure he’s put some kind of tracker on there so he gets every text straight to his computer. Talk about paranoia.

  I don’t mind though, maybe now he’s found out how many people I’ve actually messed around with he’ll stop thinking I’m such a whore that spread eagles for any hot man with a dick. Although I wasn’t lying about Jacob, I would totally screw him if I was single and the fact Jacob would most definitely screw me is a fucking hard temptation. Get it? HARD temptation. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. No takers? Ok then whatever.

  Now as I was saying, so James has zero trust for me and I don’t care what he does. That’s bad right? I’ve felt jealousy of seeing him with another woman but that’s only because I believe his world should revolve around me, it’s true, I can’t help feeling that way but I’ve never denied being shallow and a little self-centered. Something I shall work on… ah, maybe tomorrow.

  “Hey baby,” James says softly as he walks in, two crates of beer in his arms. I raise my eyebrows and follow him into the kitchen where I’ve set out snacks ready and have a few menus spread out. “Good day?”

  “Yep, I spent the day using your bank card to buy new clothes online, maybe a couple of bags and stuff and then I sat and read magazines while ignoring the TV,” I grin and kiss him on the lips before wrapping my arms around his waist. “I hope you don’t mind.”

  He shrugs, “No problem baby.” Gah, what’s with the baby? “What’s mine is yours.”

  “Even though I have a hundred times more money than you?” I snort and then my eyes widen in realization. “Oh my god. Eleven times. I totally forgot. You never asked me about Vegas.”

  He frowns a little before pulling away to load the bottles into the fridge, “Yes I did.”

  “No, you asked me if I fucked anyone. You never asked me about my actual adventures.”

  His shoulders sag a little, “How much did you lose?”

  “What makes you think I lost?”

  “The mischievous glint in your eyes when you do something naughty.”

  “Naughty? What am I… a child?”

  He grunts and rolls his eyes as I pass him bottles from the crates.

  “Fine, how much did you win?”

  I place a hand over my heart, “Why baby, I’m so glad you asked. I started off with a budget of five hundred grand.”

  “You fucking set yourself a budget of half a million?” he practically squeals. “Fuckin hell Maya. Are you crazy?”

  “Yep… so I played a little poker, black jack, and craps. I lost on all of them. I was down to a hundred and fifty grand.”

  “Oh god.”

  “Then I went on the roulette and within a few hours I’d quadrupled my money. I played craps again and won seven mil in total!” I grin and start a little victory dance. “I was totally rolling in it. The manager asked me to stop. Said he’d give me the executive suite if I stopped. That’s why you saw men around me coz I was winning and everyone was watching. I never even spoke to them. They tried to speak to me but I was too busy winning cash.”

  “You do realize, I only earn just under five hundred grand a year running your fucking company.”

  “Hey,” I snap and slap his arm. “That’s good money.”

  “Yet you just inherited everything without barely working a day in your life.”

  I know he’s sore because it seems I spend my money willy nilly but I’m actually good with money. Very good with money. My anger soars at his grumblings. “Fuck you James. I work my ass off. Just because I take time to have fun doesn’t mean I don’t!”

  “I know baby, I just hate the fact I can’t treat you to half the shit you do.” He says, looking resigned and tired. “I love you, I want to spoil you.”

  “Well, I wasn’t lying when I said I used your bank card earlier. Yours was right there on the table, I couldn’t be bothered to get up and get mine,” I giggle and kiss his cheek. “I’ll pay it off tomorrow.”

  “Don’t do that, I don’t
want you to,” he frowns and lifts me onto the counter, opening my legs with his hands so his body slots between them.

  I raise my hand to his cheek and look intently into his green eyes. “Trust me baby, you will want me to pay it off when you see how much I spent.”

  “How much?”

  “Umm… I shouldn’t say. You may beat me,” I joke and kiss his lips. “I’ll sort it in the morning.”

  Before he can reply my phone starts ringing. I scoot away from him and grab it noticing the name on the screen before running out of the room. “Hi Margie. Everything ok?”

  “It’s Sophie, my phone is on the blink. I was calling to see if you were ok to start construction in the morning?”

  “Hell yeah,” I grin, totally excited. “Sounds fab.”

  “Good, I’ll see you tomorrow,” I hang up and do another little victory dance. Things are going to be awesome.

  CHAPTER NINE

  James answers the door as I set the snacks out on the coffee table. I’m stalling, I don’t know how to act around Paul. Or more importantly, I’m worried of how he’ll act around me.

  First in is Jeremy, he pulls me in for a hug, earning him a slap round the head from James before walking to the snack table chortling. Next in is Kyle with his shocking red hair that would put and orange flame to shame. He nods at me and flops onto the couch. I hand them both beers, another diversion from the inevitable.

  “So how’s married life?” Kyle asks as I sit in the armchair by the TV, facing them. Paul walks in with a beer and sits on the couch. His jaw is tense but he doesn’t acknowledge me.

  “It’s fucking fantastic,” James grins, winking at me. I roll my eyes and pick up my magazine. “How’s Trevor?” Trevor is Kyle’s nephew I think. I’ve never met him, although he was at my wedding. There were a lot of kids there.