2136: A Post-Apocalyptic Novel

by Matthew Thrush

  I started sobbing as I held my hand against the stone wall.

  ‘But, Daddy...’ I cried out into the darkness against the bubbling of water. ‘I can't do it. It's too far.’

  And as if speaking from the realm of the dead I heard, Don't quit. Fight!

  I held the flashlight to my face and looked into the bright light.

  Fight, he whispered again from my memories.

  I grabbed the light with both hands to stop it from shaking.

  ‘I won't give up,’ I said, then louder, ‘I WONT GIVE UP!’

  I filled my lungs with quite possibly the last gulp of air I'd ever breathe again, and dived.

  ≈ Chapter 26 ≈

  It's a short distance, he said. Just a jump, hop, and a skip away, he said. Or, swim in my case. Only thirty feet down, eighty feet to the side and you're there. Well, I have news for you mister, I've gone no less than forty-five feet into the dive and my lungs are already about to implode.

  The murky water made it hard to see where I was going. I had seen the hint of the red glare from Parker's flare for the first ten to twenty feet or so upon submersion, but then it suddenly vanished. I had paused momentarily, contemplating whether I should continue diving into the dark water, or turn back. It was too late now. The surface was probably farther than continuing down. Either way, it was live or die at this point.

  I aimed my spotlight in the direction I thought I last saw the flare's red glow, and continued to swim down, hoping I was heading in the right direction. In a sea of darkness, blinded by a thick brown liquid from all finite characteristics of the world below and above, there was no way to unquestionably discern which direction was up, and which was down. I just kept pumping my arms and feet in my current course, praying the tunnel entrance would appear—and soon.

  I counted ten more strokes before the light lit upon the undeniable, and wonderful metal hinge that made up the opening. I kicked my legs and reached for the top of the hatch and pulled myself in. All right, we're almost there. Just eighty more feet and we made it. You can do this, Willow.

  I used the inside of the hatch to launch myself forward. My body shot into the tunnel like a torpedo set loose from a submarine. I used the momentum of the push to glide me through the tunnel before I had to use my arms again. This allowed me to conserve energy and air. The conservation tactic helped, but not much. My lungs were screaming. My throat and lips kept trying to open and suck in the dark liquid, but I forced them shut. The torchlight illuminated the dark tunnel as I swam through. The stalagmites jutting up along the base looked like mummified statues of a lost world, trapped and drowned beneath a sea. The water from the outlet work was full of sediment from sitting stagnant in the tubes and all of that grit and those particles collaged in full view. The light from my flashlight could only cut through a few feet at a time. Everything else was a dark mystery.

  My shoulders were burning from the strain of holding the torch and propelling myself through the thick water. This new brown liquid felt nothing like the pure, cobalt blue water from before. The tunnel behind was a pit of blackness: a phantom lurking behind me, ready to latch on to my ankles and pull me back to its master, Death. A cold current suddenly washed over my body. I could feel the goosebumps explode along my skin as my end got closer.

  God, please help me. Please let the surface be up ahead. Please don't let me die down here.

  The cold current seemed to guide the way as I swam on. My legs started to clench up and spasm. Asphyxia was setting in. The carbon dioxide in my bloodstream was at a tipping point. Soon my body would shut off and I'd go unconscious. When that happened...

  I didn't allow myself to finish the thought. I wouldn't die down here—not here, not like this. I released the torch and let it hang from my wrist as I swung my arms and pumped my legs as hard and as quickly as I could with the remaining life I had. I knew the surface had to be close, I just didn't know if my lungs would hold out until the time I reached it.

  My movements began to slow as I made a turn and saw more brown liquid. The tunnel was never ending. I would never make it. It was just too far. My arms stopped moving and my legs drooped down. My hands flailed out in front of me as my body fell.

  The chill engulfed me completely. My body hung suspended in the murky water of the tunnel as my lungs depleted the last remnants of breath through my lips. The bubbles floated a few seconds before drifting off. My muscles spasmed as the organs strained for oxygen. I was in the final seconds before total shutdown. Any moment now my heart would stop and it would be over. And yet, it was not fear I felt in my final moments, but peace. My lips curled into a smile and welcomed the dark wraith swimming towards me to take me to the other side.

  Death's hands reached out to my mine and pulled.

  Thank you...

  I'm ready. Come and take me home.

  I was walking towards the light. The tunnel, the brown water, and the cavern—all of it was gone. I had no idea where I was or whether I was alive or dead. I was just being. This iridescent warmth seemed to permeate from the light as if it was a star, but it didn't burn like our sun. My eyes were unharmed as they gazed into the enormity of its splendor. The light seemed to get closer. I say closer, but I have no way of describing this feat. There was no sense of time or distance. It was as if I wanted to be closer to the source of the warm light, and then I was.

  I hadn't noticed before, but my feet were dangling above a sea of soft grass. Again, I say grass loosely for it looked nothing like any grass I've ever seen. It flowed like grass. Swooshed with the breeze like grass. Felt like grass, but it wasn't grass. Yet another anomaly I had not figured out. The grass moved as if in its own dance, but there was no wind, just my passing over it as if I was floating, and yet, I wasn't. My skin felt stiff, in a good way. Like all the damage the sun, the wind, and the heat had caused me over all the years was gone. My skin glowed too. Not like a florescent, artificial bulb or bioluminescence, but...well, I don't know how to explain it. It was as if my skin could emit energy and light. As though my body was adding its own warmth to the warmth all around me.

  Suddenly a million tiny microscopic blue organisms sprung into existence and sparkled all around me. They popped and twinkled like stars, yet weren't stars. They seemed to pulsate as if they were breathing. Their minuscule bellies puffed and deflated in the rhythmic flailing of breathing. I could feel their millions of curious eyes on me as I neared the source of true life. I could sense their joy at my presence as though they were singing and clapping their tiny hands in happiness that I had arrived. They urged for me to continue through the winding hallway-like cave. The sensation of joy and hope was palpable. It overwhelmed me to the point that I wanted to sing. Then the soft stream flowing near me splashed with the soft pitter-patter of rainfall, and yet, I saw no silvery droplets fall from above. There was no above, nor a below. It just was. I know this isn't making any sense. Believe me, I was just as lost as you. But trust me when I tell you—I did not want to leave.

  I could feel the jingle and the rumble in my chest as my pulse quickened. The warm light up head was throbbing as though it was its own heartbeat, as if some ethereal electricity pulsed through it. All I knew was that it was alive. My exposed skin tingled the closer I got to the source of light. The tingle, the prickling in my chest, the energy emitting from my flesh was more like an emotional connection, as if my spirit were soaring on wings and embracing every other living soul around me. There was no sense of physical limitation or necessity. This energy; this subliminal interaction was electric; it felt like excitement building up. And the closer I got to the light, the more alive I felt, the more interconnected and metaphysical I became, and the higher the energy coursing through my veins.

  It was around this time that I noticed I was naked. And though my extremities were exposed, I did not feel fear. I had found a sense of peace, normalcy and belonging. It was as though I was meant to be this way, that in my nakedness I was free. Free of the lies and insecurities of the life I
once knew. The peace that enveloped me transcended all understanding. It was invigorating. I cannot imagine ever having lived any other way. My imprisonment by the limitations and dogmas of the world no longer gripped me like a chain does a slave. I was servant to no one. I was free of my own captivity. And it felt good.

  My auburn hair flew back behind me as though a wind was blowing. There was no wind, just the swaying of the grass below my feet. The heads of the sea of golden grass tickled the bottoms of my feet as I was levitated over them and towards the light. They danced and swayed. It was as if the grass was a living, breathing organism too, just like the blue sparkling organisms all around me, and this light—this omnipotent source. I do not know how I knew this. The grass ushered me forward on its fingertips. The light was within reach and I stretched out my hand towards it. I'm almost there. I felt like I was going to explode with excitement and anticipation. The peace and the hope were too great, yet, unbelievably perfect and just right. My fingers touched the outer rim of the light shield surrounding the pulsing source of energy. My bosom welled up with joy and contentment; I was finally home.

  Then I felt a sharp jerk on my left arm, which incited a shock of pain through my limb. It worked its way from my arm down to my chest. My body felt as though it was in a constant wave of seizing. As though every tendon and muscle fiber in my body were being ripped from the bone; snapping, tearing, and breaking. I twisted and convulsed into the fetal position as this insufferable, unbelievably tortuous affliction made its way to my abdomen. My core boiled with rage and fright. The elasticity, the glow, the youthfulness of my skin began to vanish. Cracks, lines, color splotches materialized all along my arms and hands. I felt the omnipotence fading as the life force of all the living beings around me weakened. I could almost hear their crying out on my behalf.

  I cried out in agony when the second wave of nausea and dizziness struck. When the third came, I was certain I had been struck with a hammer right below the ribcage. My lungs spat out any remaining pockets of air panting and heaving for breath through cracked bones and blood. And with each outcry, the light seemed to diminish and fade. The pureness, the tranquility, and the sense of oneness seemed to disappear as the aura of light was replaced by fear. The millions of blue sparkling stars popped one last time before sizzling out. The golden grass, the melodious chorus of living gold strings, ceased their singing and no longer moved. I could feel the cold hand of Death latching on to my soul, trying to pull me away. I reached out my arms to the light and prayed: save me.

  Take me with you, I whimpered. Don't leave me.

  But the pain was too much. My insides screamed their own intolerance as if the coldest liquid fire were burning through the blood and spilling over onto my flesh. Every pore sweated its misery in objection and protest. I felt the bones in my fingers crack and crinkle, shriveling and tightening into twisted knots as the cold pain sucked the life from every orifice of my body. They looked like crippled pieces of parchment; frayed on the edge by a flame, and seared to a dry crisp. Welts began to form along the cracks of my knuckles and in the groves of my skin. It was as though my body was metamorphosing into another creature—a dead one.

  The light seemed a thousand miles away now, yet impossible to grasp. If only I could touch it, I knew I'd be saved and the torture would stop. If only my faith were strong enough for me to believe I could reach the light, my life would be restored and the pain would stop. The more I reached for the light, the worse the suffering got. My body heaved backward with another jolt of pain. It was then I felt them—all tens of thousands of them—groping, gnashing, and tearing at my skin. They held me down, grabbed ahold of my arms and legs and pulled on me. The deeper they pulled, the heavier the weight became, as if my lungs were being crushed and any attempt to take a breath was like stabbing myself repeatedly with a three-pronged dagger. Then I felt the heat.

  The dark souls tugged on my hair and my head whipped back. I saw the furnace boiling and spilling over below. Just as the harmonious sense of wonder and peace with the light was a feeling or emotion, so too was this realm of destruction and death. I felt a wave of sadness and sorrow wash over me. I felt my spirit being torn from my body by a greedy hunger. The agony was more than I could bear. My chest was imploding with grief and madness. They were ripping my soul and spirit right out of me.

  I wailed and screamed for the light to save me. But the source of hope and peace, the transforming embrace of salvation and freedom, continued to throb as if it too were going through the pain alongside me. I could feel its heartbreak from here. Feel its misery and sadness for me. It wasn't the pain pulling me down that hurt me most, but the feeling of sympathy ensuing from the light. It flickered like a dimming flame in a cold night. I could no longer feel its warmth. I could no longer sense its joy and peace. I could no longer experience the hope and life it provided. My spirit, the bio-molecular and cognitive transparencies, burned like ice and sank to the bottom like a heavy stone. I fell into the arms of the destroyer as the darkness swallowed up my cries for the light.

  ≈ Chapter 27 ≈

  Pain is only pain when you embrace it. And death can only hold you if you believe it.

  My lungs regurgitated brown smut. It felt like my larynx was bleeding blue fire with each heave. I gripped the dirt with my fingernails, tearing and gashing into the rocky ground. My back muscles continued to spasm as though I were still within the embrace of the clawing hands. I could see nothing but darkness and pain for the next several moments while my body ejected the foul excrement I had swallowed.

  Did I just drown? Again? I really need to stop that habit.

  Parker's hand was firmly between the ridges of my shoulder blades, tapping and pushing, while I coughed up the brown water. My legs were submerged beneath the rising water in the tunnel. My body was shaking as if in hypothermic shock. I guess, when you die and come back, the body has to reboot. Trust me, not something you want to try.

  The world was a dark hue of emptiness. My eyes were open but all I could make out were odd shapes and shades. I felt my body being dragged along the ground and the back of my knees bumping something metal. I'm sure that it hurt. My body was still numb. I could feel nothing, just the pressure of Parker's hands under my armpits, dragging me, then the ground catching me as he laid me on my back. My vision started to come back slowly. I could make out the contours of the tunnel and a grey hatch door. Parker was closing it and bent the lever to the right to seal it shut. I could hear the gurgle of water as it bubbled up on the other side. The tunnel was filling.

  Parker came back to me and knelt down. He shined a bright light into my eyes and raised his fingers in the air.

  ‘How many fingers am I holding up?’

  Three? Four? Or was that two? I couldn't tell. Everything was a blur. I felt oddly misplaced. Like my mind was empty, almost as if the water from the outlet work had rushed straight through my ears and into my skull and washed out my brain. There was a rushing in my ears as though I was holding up a seashell to listen to the sound of the ocean.

  ‘Willow...’ Parker was saying. I tried to pay attention but memories of the pain I’d just experiences distracted me. My limbs were numb. A constant stinging sensation burned within my chest and esophagus, but it too had a sensible numbness to it. Had I just died? Was that heaven? Then I remembered the clawing hands pulling me down, and the excruciating pain that had consumed my entire soul. No, it was definitely hell. Or somewhere that vastly resembled it. I didn't even notice I was crying.

  ‘It's okay, Willow,’ Parker encouraged. ‘I'm here now. You're safe. I've got you.’

  I lifted my head. He was holding me in his lap, looking down at me. My eyes managed to adjust just enough to make out the features of his face.

  ‘Did I just die?’ I breathed. The effort to speak sent me into a coughing spree. Parker held me firm by the shoulders so I wouldn't fall off his lap.

  He was nodding his head.

  I blinked my eyes and held them closed for a few sec
onds before reopening them.

  ‘Well, then,’ I said. ‘I'll not be doing that again anytime soon.’

  Parker laughed.

  ‘Glad to see you haven't lost your sense of humor.’

  ‘I guess it was too far...’ I said.

  ‘Think you can walk?’ Parker asked, holding out his hand.

  ‘I think so,’ I said, and grabbed his outstretched hand.

  My legs wobbled beneath me as he lifted me up. I did little to assist. I could barely grip his hand. He held me steady before I fell back to the ground. The tunnel flickered in my vision. I tried to blink the black spots away, but it only made the strange blindness worse.

  ‘I can't really see,’ I said. I hope that's not a sign of things to come. I prayed that my vision would come back as my body readjusted to being alive.

  ‘We'll take it slow,’ he said. ‘You were under the water for a long time.’

  ‘Yeah?’ I groaned weakly.

  ‘Almost four minutes,’ he said.

  Four minutes, eh? That's pretty darn good. At least, it would have been if I hadn't gotten myself drowned in the process. World records don't count if you die in the process of breaking them.

  ‘I thought I wasn't going to make it, ‘ I said.

  Just voicing it made it see more real. My chest flickered sporadically as if a chill were causing my muscles to spasm. Parker held me close and wrapped his arms around me. He rubbed my back with his free hand.

  ‘We need to get you dry,’ he said. ‘You're freezing.’

  I hadn't noticed my teeth chattering until I tasted iron on my tongue. I clenched my teeth together to keep from cutting my tongue a second time.